I am tired to the bone, and sick to my very soul.

[DemoTex]

I spent the day in hard labor down at the Greenville digs. Then I drove back up on the mountain in time to turn on Olberman late in the show, pop a cork on some cheap Shiraz, and throw a steak from the 8-O'Clock Superette on the grill. Watching Olberman and cooking I packaged 5 NY strips and four chickens (halved) for the freezer. Then I cooked and ate.

Then I came up to the loft to the computer. Then I clicked on "Drudge Report," after a mere scan of my favorite sites (DU the first). Then I clicked on **WARNING GRAPHIC PHOTOS** Al Qaeda Says It Beheads U.S. Hostage in Saudi.... Goddamn-it! I was just clicking. I did not know about Johnson's death. I thought it was the link to the headline. Fuck Matt Drudge. Fuck him for posting those pictures. Fuck me for clicking on that link.

RIP Paul Johnson. RIP. I hear that you loved Saudi Arabia. I understand. I love Vietnam to this day. I really do. I am so sorry I participated by clicking on Matt Drudge's link. If Drudge had had four friends be-headed in Laos by the Pathet Lao and/or NVA, their heads put on stakes for public display, he would reign in his obscene coverage.

[Timefortruth]

1. Drudge is a coward.

He has no soul and could not survived what you have. There is something to be said for knowing right from wrong.


Have a beer too.

[BeHereNow]

2. You are not alone-

Today has been BRUTAL.
I can not stand living in Amerikkka anymore.
It is far too shameful.
BHN

[Cleita]

3. Well, even if you hadn't clicked Drudge, they are appearing

all over the internet on different sites. I really don't know what this does to us. Does it horrify us so much that we resolve to do something about this sorrow? Or, are we becoming jaded and accustomed to the violence coming to us daily thanks to electronics? I don't know what to think.

[stevedeshazer]

4. I'm having a cold adult beverage

I painted the kitchen (most of it) and found out the same way you did about all this latest madness when I checked my computer. Bad news all around.

Dammit.

I hear ya. It's gonna be a long summer. :(

[seabeyond]

5. respect to you dude

thank you for sharing this

[Mizmoon]

6. Violence

I have never seen the vid of the Berg beheading. I will not look at these pics either. I cannot see pics of mutilated American soldiers who've been harmed in warfare and I can't see images of wounded Iraqi children. I even cover my eyes during gory movie scenes.

The reason is that several years ago I saw pics of children whose limbs had been amputated by rebel forces in Sierra Leone. Every time I tried to go to sleep I would see them and be up for hours. It took me months to get over it... that and the Romanian orphans. I have often wondered if I am oversensative, or if the world has grown undersensative.

[BeHereNow]

10. Welcome to DU...

And I am with ya on this- I CAN NOT look at
these videos or photos. You are not over sensitive-
our culture and society has been completely
de sensitized to the humanity of man.
Very deliberately so, is you ask me...
BHN

[linazelle]

7. I am tired too....I want to forget about all of this

Maybe it's not so bad. Maybe it doesn't matter.

I see so many uninformed people. Like the manager at my office who hugged two returning Iraqi soldiers and said, "thank you for protecting us."

I woke up this morning to the Today Show listening to Dick Cheney and George Bush's lies about Iraq's ties to Al Qaeda as justification for invading Iraq.

I went to bed last night sitting next to a drunk freeper who kept talking about wanting to cry about Paul Johnson with the unvoiced implication that he supported the war.

I am tired of not being able to even talk about what's going on in the country because people may disagree and because it could cost me my livelihood. I'm tired because even when I do talk to like minded people they don't realize the breadth of the problem--they say things like they "like" Chris Mathews or Tim Russert because they are objective. They watch Fox.

I'm tired because I see even clearer that the company I work for is clearly on their side as well.

I'm tired because the media does not serve the country. My local morning news ends with "internet updates" which refer viewers to Drudge's website.

I'm tired because the slaughter of Paul Johnson will muffle the real news regarding Bush's continued pillage of the goverment as has Reagan's Funeral and the previous beheading before that.

I'm just tired and I don't know what to do. I'm looking for a white flag.

[merh]

12. Don't raise the white flag - take this weekend to recharge, rest you

body, your heart and your mind. Don't turn on your computer unless you feel as if you must communicate with people of a like mind, then come here and post and read and know that you are not alone. Rest yourself, but do not give up. We cannot give up on our country, we cannot give up on each other. There is too much at stake.

Rest and recharge.

[linazelle]

15. Thank you...I thought I'd rested all week by going out of town and

leaving the computer at home. I'll try to rest more and see if I feel better.

[DemoTex]

16. Raise the white flag? DemoTex?

Quite the contrary. As I read these wonderfully supportive posts, I am furiously churning out an op/ed piece and L-T-E's. Sorry, I'm much more pissed than depressed. That's my nature. I'd rather write it out than fight it out. Pen/sword thing.

[merh]

17. Then may the stroke of your pen be straight and true! (eom)

[merh]

8. I am sorry you had to come home to that DemoTex. Wish I could

have warned you. Some freepers posted them here, but thank God the moderator deleted them. We live in a cruel world and unfortunately, our gov't has proven itself to be the cruelest of the cruel, fueling the hate and giving cause for our citizens to be hated.

May you find solace.

[MissRegina]

9. My heart goes out to you.

The images are shocking and disturbing. The men responsible for his beheading are barbarians who deserve the same treatment. Why don't you turn off the computer, turn off the tv, turn off the radio, and cool off from the news for awhile. You will feel better.

[thebigidea]

11. !

"The men responsible for his beheading are barbarians who deserve the same treatment."

Deserve the same treatment? So, would that make whoever did it a barbarian as well? Or better than a barbarian... because?

[DemoTex]

13. Good advice, MissRegina. But ...

I have work to do, if you know what I mean. I am dedicated. Our cause might just save this country and world, theirs will destroy both. I'll sacrifice a lot for our cause.

[mandyky]

14. I haven't clicked on anything that said "graphic" here

either. I did not go to the website to view the Berg thang either. I know what beheaded means, and I know I don't need to see stuff like that. I also have not gone looking for the Abu Garibb photos, beyond what they show on TV. The descritptions I hear and read are vivid enough for me to know I'd be haunted. I won't forget and I hold the mad cowboy and his regime responsible. Don't want or need pictures and diagrams.

I had a bad feeling when I heard shrub address the troops earlier today and he called people cowards who were holding Johnson that they would kill him for that alone. shrub likes to taunt our enemies with his "tough talk" (bring it on, etc.) while our troops and expats pay for his belligerance.

[unkachuck]

18. I think it's all going downhill....

...and fast...

My Grandson was over the other day telling me about a new video 'war' game his Dad got him....(his Dad is former military and a cop)....

All he could talk about was killing and winning and how much fun it was and I would really like it....he's going to show me all about it next time I come over....

Well, I said, 'I don't know about that, I never seen that game before' and proceeded to take out my Duncan Imperial Yo-Yo. I showed him a few of my finer tricks and talked about the fine art of 'yo-yo-ing'....and got him all excited....then I took out an old slot-track we had to fixed, assembled it together and raced for and hour and a half....

When we got tired, we went outside and we tossed a ball around for another hour....

He forgot all about the video war game....people are nuts.....

[shance]

20. Your sig gave me a laugh.

And the post is inciteful.

[Blue_Roses]

19. you definitely are not alone

I've gone from being pissed to extremely sad and back to pissed...