Should I Vote For Bush or the Other Guy? A Checklist

[bobd]

Here's a handy checklist of the 10 most critical election year issues directly affecting you and your family. See how Bush and "the other guy" stack up against each other. Clip 'n save!

1. Do current governmental policies affect my beer purchases? If yes, vote for the other guy. If no, lean toward Bush.

2. Do I have a big shiny pickup (for manly 'mrkins), or, do I have an SUV (for the wimmin folk). If yes, vote immediately for Bush. If no: Can I mortgage my house to buy one or more? If yes, vote for Bush. If no, vote for the other guy

3. How's my mullet? Long and luxurious: Lean toward Bush. Losing my hair: Blame Clinton, Lean toward Bush.

4. Does the area in which I live keep minorities in some sort of segregated area? If yes: Lean toward Bush. If no: Vote for Bush

5. Have I been killed in the current war? If yes vote for the other guy. If no: Lean toward Bush

6. Have any of my immediate family (i.e., sons ; wimmin ain't sooted fer war - periods 'n such) been killed in the current war? If yes: Lean toward the other guy. If no: Vote for Bush.

7. Has Rush been taken off the air? If yes: Vote for Bush. If no: Lean toward Bush.

8. Do I have cable where I live (for Fox News): If yes: lean toward Bush. If no: Vote for Bush

9. Are my kids forced to pray in public school? If yes: vote for Bush. If no: Vote for Bush

10. Is keeping up with national issues cutting into my sports viewing, reading, discussing, thinking? If no: Vote for Bush. If yes: Lean toward the other guy.