Bushies Rent Washington Momument Mall to Pepsi-Cola

[Q]

From: [e-mail]
Date: Thu Sep 4, 2003
To: Q
Subject: Greg Palast: The Brown Stuff

THE BROWN STUFF
by Greg Palast

September 4, 2003

I couldn't make this up. This morning, the US Department of the Interior is turning over the Mall in front of the Washington Monument to Pepsi-Cola Corporation to promote their new "Pepsi Vanilla."

This has gotten the Washington Post's liberal columnists' knickers in a twist. But they don't know the half of it.

Beyond renting the Monument grounds to Pepsi, President Bush has agreed to re-name the looming recession, "The Pause That Refreshes."

Furthermore, as part of a larger "re-brand America" campaign, the National Institute for Health has announced that the fourth new food group in the 'nutrition pyramid' after dairy foods, meat and fiber will be, Fizzy Brown Stuff.

The Bush Administration has moved swiftly to respond to objections to the commercialization of the nation's heritage sites. The complaints, from Pepsi rival Coca Cola, will be addressed by re-naming the Bill of Rights. Attorney General John Ashcroft is expected to announce today that, "those ten outdated amendments will be called 'Bill of Rights Classic,' while the post-PATRIOT Act version will henceforth be called, 'New Rights Lite.'" A spokesman for Mr. Ashcroft added that Anne Coulter will be renamed, simply, "Lite."

Mr. Dick Cheney, the nation's Vice-President for Marketing, has angrily rejected accusations that photos released by the Defense Department of Saddam Hussein drinking Diet Dr. Pepper were fabricated for the purpose of winning public support for our entry into the cola wars. Cheney has turned down repeated requests to produce notes of his several meetings with soda-pop executives.

A spokesman at the Park Service indicates the agency has nixed proposals for a monument to the "Spirit of the Pioneers" - referring to those who have given more than $100,000 to Bush family electoral campaigns. However, the plaque at the Lincoln Monument has been updated "for accuracy" at the request of the National Association of Manufacturers to read, "this government of the lobbyists, by the lobbyists and for the lobbyists shall not perish from this earth."

There was a muted response from Senate Democrats who did not want to be seen as disagreeing with the popular president's rent-a-star program replacing the American flag's former design with peel-off coupons for a Pepsi, McMuffin and a large fries..."

[Terwilliger]

1. just posted this Q

although, mine tend to drop like flies

[Terwilliger]

2. yep...sure did...keep this one

[Generic Other]

3. Ha! Like this could ever happen

I mean, how absurd, right? Right? Q? Terwilly?

:wow: