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Edited on Thu Sep-04-03 04:25 PM by Greyskye
Before you do though, clean up the grammer a bit. Here is a first pass rev2:
Let's look at the "Basis for our Law", shall we? The 10 Commandments... By Anonymous
(SARCASM ON) Since the Ten Commandments are so topical, I thought now would be an opportune time to take a look back at how these biblical laws have influenced the laws of this great country (for those who just don't get it). I’ve inserted the Commandment number after each mention of a secular law, for a quick and easy reference to just how Exodus 20:1-17 has so obviously served as the basis of all things American. The actual commandments are found below:
Boy, for starters, it's a good thing that the Constitution made it clear that we were to place no gods before the God of the Bible (1), under penalty of law! You know, the Judeo-Christian one. Yeah, Him. It's all right there in the Constitution, isn't it?
Likewise, Thomas Jefferson wisely suggested that the First Amendment included the ban against graven images unto thy Lord (2). I think that’s why statues in D.C. can only be 18 feet or something. Isn’t God 19 feet tall?
And THANK GOD that, just for good measure, the founding fathers also saw fit to legally restrict us from taking the Lord’s name in vain (3)! I mean, Jesus H. Christ! Could you imagine if everyone were going around doing this!? After all, we’re not a bunch of heathens! After all, that’s what we were running away from: goddamned Limey druid pagans!!
Of course, we’re all familiar with the Constitutional ban on having our manservants and cows work on Sunday (4). Amendment 41 or 68 or something.
Honor thy father and thy mother (5)... okay, the framers missed this one. Oh what a better place America would be if we could only lock up our children in a “Super-Max” penitentiary every time they mouthed off!
Everyone knows that the idea of murder being a no-no (6), and therefore made illegal by the Constitution, is so unique to the Bible that I don’t know HOW the framers would have figured that one out on their own! I mean, they may have been geniuses and all, but they were a little lacking in the common sense department. This is demonstrated by their failure to just make Christianity the official state religion from Day One and be done with it, which would have freed us from all this pointless controversy.
As for adultery being illegal (7), it’s right there in Amendment 74, or in the footnotes, I think. Don’t you get put in stocks in the town square, or get a red letter tattooed to your chest, or something? It’s ashamed that most states are removing this law from their books. Oh well… “states’ rights” and all that.
Theft, of course, is another tricky one (8). If it hadn’t been for the Bible, our founding fathers might have missed this one, too. You don’t think they’d have picked it up from the Magna Carta or the Code of Hammurabi, do you? The Magna Carta was on that old decaying paper, and their copy was probably damaged in the boat trip over. Besides, that was another Limey pagan document. And don’t even mention old Hammurabi. Besides being the WORST kind of pagan, that book was written on 10-ton slabs of stone, so you don’t think John Adams would even have thought about bringing it on the Mayflower, do you! I mean, come on! Who would EVER put their laws on a 10-ton block of granite! What an idiot!
Lying (9), is, of course, still punishable by death in most states.
Lastly, thank the Most Holy Jesus Himself for making sure the Constitution says we cannot covet our neighbor’s “ox, nor his ass” (10), nor any other farm animals or other things (or people) that might belong to him. This place would be downright chaos if you had everybody running around coveting their neighbors’ goods and trying to keep up with the Joneses. They’d be taking out second and third mortgages and running up massive credit card debt just to get that new kitchen, or a jet black H2, or to get anything else they might be coveting. That would be pure, unadulterated… CAPITALISM!
Oh. Never mind.
(SARCASM OFF)
The Ten Commandments, Exodus 20:1-17, King James version (edited for brevity):
1) Thou shalt have no other gods before me. 2) Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image... 3) Thou shalt not take the name of the LORD thy God in vain... 4) Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy... in it thou shalt not do any work, thou, nor thy son, nor thy daughter, thy manservant, nor thy maidservant, nor thy cattle, nor thy stranger that is within thy gates... 5) Honour thy father and thy mother... 6) Thou shalt not kill. 7) Thou shalt not commit adultery. 8) Thou shalt not steal. 9) Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor. 10) Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s house; thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor any thing that is thy neighbor’s."
Edited to change author to Anonymous at author's request
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