The truth about Pat Robertson

[ck4829]

Church Lady: My first guest is the Reverend Pat Robertson, a former Christian Broadcaster, whose memory has gotten just a little bit fuzzy about his role as a Televangelist. Just who is Patrick? Presidential Candidate or Satan Worshipper, you be the Judge. Welcome Patrick.

Pat Robertson: Thank you Church Lady, for uh letting me come on your show and uh settle it once and for all, I am a presidential candidate and not a Televangelist.

Church Lady: Well, have we ever heard of a thing called the 700 Club?!

Pat Robertson: Well, uh.

Church Lady: I guess that doesn't count.

Pat Robertson: That show was basically a Judeo uh Christian News Show and I was more a uh a Telejournalist than uh a Televangelist.

Church Lady: So, we just put the Electoral College right ahead of the Bible College, don't we? Just push Jesus aside and go right for the Satan vote.

Pat Robertson: Well uh, the issue is not my religion, it's leadership. Uh, you see uh, we learn the whereabouts of those TWA hostages and all about those Soviet missles in Cuba. But, noone chooses to believe me.

Church Lady: And what else do we think we know Pat?

Pat Robertson: There is just so much that we aren't told about Afghanistan, and the UFO's, or the fact, the fact that Hitler's brain is being kept alive in Paraguay.

Church Lady: Well, isn't that special? Patrick, I think we need some quiet time. Why don't we scooch you on down, and you think about what you said and if you made any sense at all.

Pat Robertson: (laughs) Alright, yeah, I will.

[cliss]

1. cont.

Church Lady: So....what's this we hear about you and Africa.

Robertson: Africa?

Church Lady: Well, yes. We've heard that you have some business dealings there. Something about a diamond mine.

Robertson: OH, That (smiles broadly). Well, yes, uh you see we thought it was uh very important to keep people working in Africa. Jobs for One and All, you know. So I bought a diamond mine to make sure there would be jobs.

Church Lady: Oh (smiles). A charity. How nice.

Robertson: (has sweat under his arms now). Yes.