GOBBLEDEEGOOK. Mottocitizens.com.

[skypilot]

After hearing their commercials on AirAmerica and trying to make sense of those treatises I was hearing I decided to check out their website. I'm sure their hearts are in the right place BUT...Just try to read this:

Common approaches to contrast and conflict inadvertently instigate and sustain endless wars, disputes, and disintegration. Consequently, endless tendencies to antagonism must be addressed with concepts for change; to be regularly contemplated for conflict resolution. Therefore, in order to magnify opportunities to relieve opposition with perspectives for harmony, the Oracle for The Way To See (W)hole® highlights alternatives to customary orientations to life.

[Skidmore]

1. This is what happens to those with doctorates in Philosphy who can't

find faculty positions.

[skypilot]

2. Is THAT what it is???

Damned shame.

[DireStrike]

3. I know!

"Therefore for dignity, please remember: any spiritual precept thought to be above criticism is too vainly filled with pride for moral governance."

Well, at least I know the guy's NAME.

[skypilot]

4. "...vainly filled with pride..."

Sounds a bit redundant to me. This guy seems to go out of his way to be as florid as possible. He's also a bit too fond of alliteration. He sounds like an English teacher's nightmare.

[6000eliot]

13. As an English teacher

with a Ph.D. in English, I can tell you that this would be my nightmare. I would be surprised if this guy had a Ph.D. in anything. This is complete gibberish masquerading as "learned" discourse. I first heard it while driving and assumed I hadn't been listening closely enough to make sense of it, but on subsequent hearings, I realized that it was horse shit that somebody paid AAR a lot of money to run.

[rucky]

5. Sorry, I'm very happy with the cult I'm in right now thankyouverymuch. n/t

[skypilot]

6. OK, but...

...can your cult teach you to write like this:

A second premise in the oracle is that in every aspect of life, contrast is necessary to perception and change. Therefore, in varying degrees of positive or negative relations, contrasting potentials in our choices always tilt toward the increase of one tendency in contrast to another. Consequently, relevant to universal points of opposition, the Oracle for The Way To See (W)hole® facilitates positive adjustments in common perspectives, for effective global citizenship.

Huh? Huh? Can your cult teach you to write like that???

[Lady Sonelle]

7. Well the prerequisite which mandates the obfuscation of the body of the

relevant information manifest in the poipular media is tantamount to the withdrawing of the perceptional (and putative) moral paradigm undergirding the sustenance of western hegemony! Antecedent to the coalescence of the foundational doctrines of the latently misophistic members of congress there was a consonance among intelligentsia and the encompassing weltanshauung and a broad perception of weltschmerz therefore achieved ascendancy among the conservative base of the population taken as an inchoate, yet self-referential whole. The confrontational discursive dichotomy which then manifested within the body politic was presaged, eventuated, and evidenced in the upwelling strata of media-driven commentators such as Rush Limbaugh and his cohortational colleagues on the airwaves and the situationally dichotomic abreaction of the masses as a whole!.....



.....What?


Lady Sonelle

[linazelle]

20. Damn...the only word I recognized was Rush Limbaugh...

You qualify for cult leader. :D

[FizzFuzz]

22. I bow to your superiority!

I'd been thinking of starting a big words club, cuz I enjoy getting pretty pedantic sometimes, but I must now defer to you!

Damn, you are gooood! :D :hi:

[Jazzgirl]

33. I heard that!

:yourock:

[Jazzgirl]

34. I heard that!

Dupe

[Must_B_Free]

8. thats' surely a big lot o words

gee, maw, what duh yuh think he means? Well I tell you what, he must be a stoopid, cuz I don't get it.

[Enraged_Ape]

9. This guy and that CortiSlim asshole drive me crazy

I've programmed an "emergency AM station" that I can switch to immediately when AAR goes to commercial. I'm finding I'm spending more time on the emergency station than AAR.

What a pile of fragrant purple horseshit.

[BrewerJohn]

10. I listen via online stream, so

I hacked up a little program that gets hold of my computer's sound system and mutes it for a timed interval when I hit the button. All breaks on AAR are exactly five minutes, except for the news break at the top of the hour, which is about seven minutes but can vary a bit. So most of the time I can hit the button and hear nothing until the bumper music starts up again for the next segment. Does wonders for the sanity.

[Must_B_Free]

14. Maltomeal Tootie Frooties make me turn AA off

I hate they way they cut the gaps between sentences to fit it all in.

I love the how to be a millionaire commerical
"Where are you going to get money?"
"Duhhhhh, my brother..."
"You can't start a business without a business plan"
"I can't?"

I hate wendy friesen! buy my tape and I'll promise you anything!

[feminazi]

11. i'm glad you posted this.

everytime i hear these commercials i think "wtf is he talking about?"

[not fooled]

12. wht's the deal?

Must cost a lot of $$$ to run all those ads (assuming AAR charges more than $0.50/spot). Where do they/he get the bucks???

[Must_B_Free]

15. did you every think that maybe you aren't literate enough?

people who are extremely intelligent are articulate.

why can't they guy have money? what people don't have money? Some people do. Some people have supporters too.

[DireStrike]

17. "People who are extremely intelligent"... don't advertise like that.

Unless they're trying to attract pretentious windbags.

[skypilot]

18. Yes, I thought that maybe I wasn't...

...literate enough. That is one of the reasons I went to the website, so that I could read---and re-read and re-re-read--the stuff for myself rather than try to decipher him reading it in those ads. But the fact is that I have an idea what he is trying to say it's just that he is saying--and writing--it very poorly. I'm literate enough to know bad writing when I see it.

And I have no idea what you are going on about with the last four sentences of your post--unless the entire post is a joke. I don't recall saying that the guy couldn't have money. I just think he's a bad writer. What's your problem?

[rbnyc]

24. Most of it is not...

...gramaticly correct. Trust us, the writing has serious problems.

[DireStrike]

16. Hey, how about DemocraticMatch.com! Teehee!

So a plurality of citizens will decide who to match me up with? Great! ;)

[kk897]

19. yes, but I love the guy's voice, his diction, and his delivery...

it's like listening to great actors read the phone book or something. Doesn't matter what they say, but it sounds good. I especially love the way he says "M-O-TT-O".

[skypilot]

21. This is true.

I'd much rather listen to him reading Dear Penthouse or The Kama Sutra.

[rbnyc]

23. Bugs the ever-loving-shit out of me!

I can't stand when things are over-written. And so full of ego!

[skypilot]

25. so full of ego?

Don't you mean "vainly filled with pride"?:)

[rbnyc]

26. LMAO!

The writing suffers from the very things he espouses against. He needs an editor, and a therapist.

[skypilot]

29. This crap...

...probably sounds profound to folks who are all giddy from those low protein diets that some cults have been known to put their followers on. It's scary to think that a Big Mac might very well bring some poor soul a moment of clarity.

[FizzFuzz]

27. I was wondering what is up with AAR's ads. Sheesh, they are terrible!

I thought it was just me. At least this guy's voice is nice.
One time I caught an ad being read by....(prepare yourselves)....Sean rectal prolapse Hannity, for some shit of his. Yikes!!

Another ad that drives me up a wall is this public service message on heart disease in women; It opens by describing the safety precautions a woman takes to protect herself before leaving the house. <sound of woman's high heel pumps echoing lonesomely on concrete. Cue somber sounding female narrator> "You put your keys between your knuckles. You check in and under your car. You....etc. etc. etc. etc."

By the time she's done with this long and inconvenient list--which of course still guarantees nothing if you are accosted by surprise by a man with a gun or baseball bat, from behind, for example, but we won't go there, will we, mm'kaaay?--I have been made inescapably aware how as a woman, I am prey, which is thoroughly depressing.

But then as if that weren't enough, they finally get to the point of the ad which is: you fan desperate hopes of safety by slavishly following this complex ritual in order to hopefully protect yourself should the unexpected and greatly feared event happen, but GUESS WHAT, ladies? YOUR HEART MIGHT EXPLODE!! (The narrator for this charming punchline has now switched to an authoritative and vaguely threatening male voice!)

Great, why bother, I'm screwed backwards and forwards, so why don't I just jump out the window of my moving vehicle?

:mad:

[itzamirakul]

36. The reason why AAR's ads are so "unique" is that

no big corporations are going to advertise products with them because they don't want to pay to be bashed, so AAR is left with the quirky, small business ads.

[Justpat]

28. That guy is a community college dropout

with delusions of literary and philosophical grandeur.

[skypilot]

30. I wonder where he keeps his porn.

[Ivan Sputnik]

31. I think he could use a hypnosis CD

Maybe Wendie can whip one up to cure diarheic intellectual pomposity.

[Jazzgirl]

32. I'm sorry....I know I'm a little thick but....

what the hell does that mean? :wtf:

[Enraged_Ape]

35. (W)hole...AHH!!..."Whole"..."Hole"! Get it?

I just addressed my tendencies to antagonism by adopting a new concept of inherent dichotomies and embracing the capacity to change that such dichotomies imply. Therefore, I am magnifying my opportunity to relieve opposition by incorporating a new perspective for harmony!