A New Day Dawns in the Life of a Freeper...

[Contrary1]

The alarm goes off at 5:00 am. I like to get up early,
so I get a chance to turn on Fox News and hear the latest
about my hero...President George W. Bush. Sometimes, just
watching him makes me all warm and wet, but I stifle any
immoral thoughts, because Christians don't covet another's
spouse, no matter how sexy he looks in a flight suit.

I turn on the cappuccino machine, and ponder what lies ahead
of me this day as it brews. I must call my stockbroker.
Pat Robertson was informed by none other than God Himself,
that the economy was going to go gangbusters this year.
Praise the Lord! And thanks to you, once again, President
George W. Bush, for that hefty tax break I received. I have
plenty more to invest. ***Mental note*** Send a check off
to the CBN. Converting all those Muslims this year will be
very costly, but Pat says it will happen. Of course, if they
fail to see the light, Ann Coulter has Plan B.

I wonder how things are going in Iraq. I try not to watch
reports on it. War is heck, and everyone knows there will
be casualties. Besides, our President, George W. Bush, gets
his up to the minute news from TV. I'm sure if something major
broke, he would let us know right away. I don't need to waste
my beautiful mind on all of that. I'm so glad we decided
to fight them in their own land after they attacked the WTC's
on 9/11. I don't understand why those hippie liberals have
such a problem with the truth. Iraq had enough WMD's to be an
imminent threat to us in the US. Praise the Lord that our
president, George W. Bush had military experience and knew
exactly what to do! Any Leftist Liberal that don't
support him should just pack up and move to Canada...or better
yet, FRANCE! I support our troops! ***Mental note*** pick up
another "Pray for our Troops" magnetic sign for pickup. I think
some looser demonrat stole the first one!

Maybe I will think some more after breakfast...

[Maat]

1. LOL!

Pretty much reminds me of an acquaintance of mine.

[Old and In the Way]

2. Good one.

Scary thing is, I'm sure there are people who'd read it and say, "So?".

[cire4]

3. Be sure to include daily trips to Wal Mart to stock up on duct tape

and plastic sheeting for the upcoming "Islamofascist" invasion of America. Despite our great leader's efforts, it is still imminent because God wants to punish us for our practice of abortion.

Oh....and bullets are essential as well....for the upcoming civil war with liberals

[Cats Against Frist]

4. CAN PEOPLE KEEP THEIR SATIRE OFF THE FUCKING COFFEE????

It's bad enough that I have to listen to the wing nuts say that we're "sushi-eatin', espresso-drinkin'," elitist America haters, but NOW you've brought in the "cappuccino machine" as a status symbol for the wealthy Republican.

I like the satire -- even though much of it is not really satire, so much as pointing out reality, but for fuck's sake people -- can we lay off the coffee??? Coffee, fish, organic vegetables and pinecones take FAR more flak in the political arena than they deserve.

[Historic NY]

5. little scarey........eh.........n/t