Don't Rain On My Inauguration Parade

[bobweaver]

With apologies to everyone except the ConMen.
Sung to the tune of "Don't Rain on my Parade"

Global warming's nonsense,
Just sit and putter,
Life’s candy and the sun’s
A ball of butter.
Don’t bring a mushroom cloud
To rain on my parade.
Don’t tell me not to fly--
I’ve got my jacket.
If someone takes a spill,
They just can't hack it.
Who told you you’re allowed
To rain on my parade!
I’ll march my band out,
I’ll beat my drum,
And if I’m fanned out,
Your turn at bat, sir.
At least I tried to fake it.
Hat, sir, I guess I didn’t make it!
But whether I’m the rose
Of sheer perfection,
Or pimple on the ass
Of life’s complexion,
The cinder or the shiny apple of it’s eye,
I tried to fly once,
I gotta try once,
Only can die once, right, sir?
Ooh, fraud is juicy,
Juicy, and you see
I gotta have my bite, sir!
Get ready for me, love,
’cause I’m a comer,
I simply gotta march,
My car's a Hummer.
Don’t talk about the fraud
To rain on my parade!

I’m gonna rig and cheat now,
Get what I want--i know how,
One roll for the whole shebang,
One vote, that bell will go clang,
Eye on the target--and wham--
One shot, one gun shot, and bam--
Hey, Justice Rehnquist, here I am!
I’ll march my band out,
I will beat my drum,
And if I’m fanned out,
Your turn at bat, sir,
At least I didn’t fake it.
Hat, sir, I guess I didn’t make it.
GYN doctors, love,
’cause I’m a comer,
I simply gotta march,
My heart’s a drummer.
Nuke-ya-ler, no nuke-ya-ler
Is gonna rain on my parade!