How do the creationists deal with dinosaurs?

[matt819]

Saw this tonight on cnn.com: Fossil shows baby dinosaur in mammal's belly -- http://www.cnn.com/2005/TECH/science/01/12/belly.of.the.best.ap/index.html

Interesting story. The creationists, or intelligent design nutcases, would have us believe that god created the heavens and the earth in about a week (including downtime), and according to the bible this would have been some 6000 years ago, plus/minus. Forget the evolution of man from apes. How do these nutcases deal with the dinosaurs?

[Jacobin]

1. THEY WERE ALL DROWNED IN THE GREAT FLOOD!!!!!!

Seriously. A fundie chick I know told me so.

Noah didn't invite them on the ark!!

See, its all so simple

[Princess Turandot]

12. That was smart of Noah...

since had there been a pair of T-Rexes on board....

I have wondered what they make of the dinos as well.

[hfojvt]

44. have you ever seen the far-side cartoon

Noah is looking at some hooves and a sheepish cheetah, and he says "well, I guess that takes care of the unicorns. From now on, carnivores are confined to C deck."

[Debs]

58. And that explains

The aquatic dinosaurs...How?

[NuttyFluffers]

63. angels held funnels to their blowholes in the rain.

what do expect? a sane answer? :P

[CatholicEdHead]

2. Here is how

check out this flash website:

http://www.dinosauradventureland.com/kidos/dal.html

[LostinVA]

4. I was told, in all seriousness

by a Baptist minister that Satan put them into the ground to tempt our faith. I was like, okkkkkkay......

[laura888]

14. I heard the same thing from a 7-year-old girl 25 years ago.

apparently, this is something that's getting passed around through the years.

[tsuki]

19. I heard that also, years ago from a refundie teacher. He told his class

that...6th graders.

[ghostsofgiants]

38. Haha, Bill Hicks had a joke about the same thing.

[Richard D]

17. I just can't believe

that something this stoooopid exists. Beam me up! Please, beam me up! I don't belong here . . .

[Princess Turandot]

21. I'm very disappointed that they left out 'Nessie..

at least people have claimed to have seen her (Loch Ness Monster)
more recently than 500 years ago..

[progressoid]

39. Oh...Holy...Shit...

Well, actually, holy bull shit.

[Artemis Bunyon]

3. Bill Hicks said a friend of his thought God planted them to test our faith

Hicks then said he thought God planted his friend on earth to test HIS faith.

"Doesn't it bother you fundamentalist Christians that God is FUCKING with you?!"

[Clark2008]

51. I grew up with a Catholic mother and a Southern Baptist father

I was taught that seven days to Our Lord isn't seven freakin' days! Geez!

Is there no nuance in Biblical education anymore.

No wonder when the Mormans come to the house, I sic my kindergartner on 'em. He tells 'em the truth. "Jesus is the Son of God, he loves us all. He was born and then he died on Good Friday (why that's good I dunno) and then on Easter he came back. He's the sweetest, nicest man and loves all us little children and sent us Mommies and Santa and doggies and puppies and kitties and dinosaurs. Oh He made them way before he made us. That was in the first day when he made the Great Beasts. It's in Genesis and then they died because they picked on Mother Earth and the earth is important and why are you here? It's late. I'm supposed to be brushing my teeth and going to bed and you should be home with your Mommies and...."

Get the picture?

[niceypoo]

68. I went to an evengelical christian grade school

They told us that God created dinosaurs for fossil fuel.

[bullimiami]

5. what dinosaurs?

done. :)

[Reverend_Smitty]

6. They don't believe in carbon dating as well...

I've seen websites where they tried (poorly) to debunk it

[LostinVA]

20. GREAT Chic tract on evolution

They've updated it some. i LOVE the carbon dating "debunking." hehehehehe... Oh, wait! It's supposed to be serious????

[AZCat]

60. Would that be "Big Daddy?"

The Jack Chick tract Big Daddy? is a scream, and so is Apes, Lies, and Ms. Henn.


Crazy, crazy stuff - I'm amazed at how many people read these things. Chick has a real following.

[LostinVA]

72. Yes, I LOVE Big Daddy

My favs are that, the Gay Blade One, the anti-Halloween one, and the D&D one. <giggle>

[buddysmellgood]

35. Those Carbon girls will never get married. Ah ha ah ah h ...sorry.

[leesa]

37. My Fundie brother used to send me endless tracts on dinosaurs

Basically, carbon dating was a hoax and they died in the flood.

[Clark2008]

52. Actually, a lot DID die in a flood

Not the Biblical flood, but a flood created by a tsunami that deposited sand in the Badlands. Yeah, that large.

I buy more into the Mother Earth raising hell than the meteor bit. How 'bout you?

[Must_B_Free]

7. "A trick planted by Satan to lead you from god."

that's one I've heard.

[baldguy]

24. Didn't god create the earth?

[legally blonde]

8. they think that

dinosaurs were placed in the earth to test their faith. What morons. :crazy:

[K-W]

9. There are so many rationalizations.

They were dragons (dragons are mentioned in the bible)
The bones are there to test our faith.
Dinosaurs were created at creation but died out, but it all happened in the biblical schedule.
A variation on that is that dinosaurs died during the great flood of Noah's ark.
Its all a scientific myth projecting thier fantasies on bones that arent from dinosaurs.

[aikoaiko]

10. Dinosaurs are Jesus Horses!

duh...

[Deja Q]

11. Here's how, in pictorial format!

[Telly Savalas]

33. Ha ha ha.

[rurallib]

13. A question that rattles in my little head -

If god created man just as he is today, and everything was created all at one time, then there can't be any evolution. So why bother to try to better things at all. Nothing has changed. Nothing will change. We cannot evolve at all. JUst doesn't make sense.
BTW great article on evolution in the latest Discover magazine. Don't know if it's available online. If it is check it out. At Michigan State they've developed a program to simulate evolution. Freepers around the world are trying to break it, but no can do.

[Sterling]

66. "So why bother to try to better things at all." You just found the key to

their ideology.

[DELUSIONAL]

15. Another explanation that Creationists come up with -- Breeding

Way back when Adam and Eve were created by God -- then they ate the apple and were tossed out of Eden -- they started breeding the animals that god had created. Their breeding program got out of control and this was one of the reasons god called the flood waters.

Wacky yes -- I had a Biology/Zoology teacher who was a creationist and this was his explanation for the Dinosaurs.

[roguevalley]

22. Next time some cone head brings this up, ask him/her how they

feel being the product of incest.

[DELUSIONAL]

31. They can't deal with that

I've seen genealogies that claim to go all the way back to Adam and Eve --

and that means according to the fundies everyone living today is the result of incest.

The ones that do deal with this claim that DNA was pure back then -- with no bad genes -- bad gene are the results of . . . . . . .SIN.

Basically to be a fundie one must believe and not question. One must not ask "Why" or "how" etc.

[kweerwolf]

16. How do they deal with dinosaurs?

Pddddddddt! That's an easy one. They elect them to office!

[MercutioATC]

18. What I was told when I asked that question:

It started when I asked about carbon dating. The Pastor of a local church said "Well, if you believe in that stuff."

So I asked "Well, what about the fossil record? What about the geological record?"

His answer: "If God is powerful enough to create the world, wouldn't he be powerful enough to pre-age it?"

All I could say was "O.K., but why would he want to?"


The conversation ended shortly after that.

[Clark2008]

53. Just so you know, I believe in God AND I belive the earth is

ancient.

I think God created the Big Boom.

I think there IS a God and He/She/It is a master.

However, I think that Jesus, as it involves with life, is more important than God.

Jesus taught us about love. God's too busy being master and commander.

[MercutioATC]

55. Just because God created man....

doesn't mean he didn't use monkeys to do it.



I've never understood the issue here. I'm an atheist, but if there IS a God, how does evolution preclude his existance?

[Sterling]

67. Just the bible God, not the real God.

The literal Bible god is set in stone and unfortunately that stone was set before the people who wrote the bible had a fucking clue about science. Now it is a constant battle to keep people stupid and try to bend but not break the literal interpretation of the bible to fit modern reality.

[tblue37]

62. Like pre-stressing jeans?

[AG78]

23. Dragons

Just like everything else; some time ago, someone finds some giant bones, has no clue where they come from, so he makes up a story.

What? The ground shook? God's angry.

What? Fire came from the ground? God's angry.

And I'm not saying people back then were stupid, just ignorant. They had no way of knowing how anything worked. But if you believe that stuff today...you might have some issues.

[gumby]

25. I heard the "Teacher" on my TeeVee say

that Noah took the dinosaurs on the Ark because when dinosaurs are babies, they're itty-bitty.

Ain't that cute? Itty-bitty dinosaurs? Sounds like a cartoon... Dino?

[pinniped]

29. Sure, I used to play Dino Eggs all the time.

()

[seabeyond]

26. i asked a friend do you believe earth is 6 thousand years old

well time, one cant gauge, we dont know. what about dinasaurs. well scientists really cant prove. it is just theory it was so long ago.

i told her how surprised from an educated person. you are simply refusing facts to believe a story. i am not challenging bible, i am sure it all meshes some way, i dont know. but i know earth isnt 6 thousand years old, i know dinasaurs were way before

but flatly, she refused the information. she refused. she insisted on believing a story. wouldnt step away

so to answer, they ignore the facts. they just dismiss them. doesnt have to make sense

[Hardrada]

27. That's been a standard reply by Xians for millenia.

Credo quia absurdum est. Probably first said to some Roman who was trying to make sense out of the Xian faith.

[Slickriddles]

28. Tertullian - an early Church Father

"I believe because it is absurd"

[doc03]

30. If God created the universe 6000 years ago, how can

we see a star that is a million light-years away?

[seabeyond]

32. but science cant really prove it

just a theory. this woman, 48 has gone to college a lot. working on her second degree now. i was floored literally. i couldnt believe it. now i did convince her this summer to vote for kerry. she thanked me profusely after she did that she wouldnt have to have the burden on her shoulders of having voted for bush. but really, she just denies, says cant be proven. but it is factual i say, and she says, no it isnt

[hfojvt]

34. Easy, a friend of mine explained it

You imagine that there is a star here * and the light starts out at the time of creation ---------- and clearly does not reach earth in 6000 years. However, to get around this all you need is for God to create the star here and the earth here and create that beam of light
*-------------------*
at the same time. Simple.
My answer was to mock them with the Theory of Fred which I read in Marvel Comics (Giant Sized Defenders #4 where Namor and Daredevil are killed). It says that the universe was created in 1996 by a cosmic entity known only as Fred. Prove that it is not true, gowan, I dare you. Do you say you can remember things from the 1980s and early 1990s? Duh, Fred created you with those memories, just like Fred created me as a 34 year old male with certain memories, including Giant Sized Defender #4 which says it was printed in 1975.

[Senator Lamb]

36. actually

it wasnt a snake that tempted Eve, it was a Velociraptor.

[sakabatou]

40. I have yet to face a creationist

My rabbi beleives in evolution and everyone around me does too.

[Hardrada]

42. Some Sectarians come around

Door to door so you eventually actually meet one of the fundies. The Lutheran pastor who confirmed me said to my confirmation class that Genesis was literally true and we had better NOT believe otherwise. But I always believed not only in dinosaurs but also in trilobites!!

[sakabatou]

43. What would happen if you believed otherwise?

You go to hell?

Ask if he can comfirm if there is a hell, since you haven't seen it. Might get a kick out of that.

[Hardrada]

59. That Hell-bound Train

No, I never had the temerity to ask him since in those days we did not openly question Authority.(in the late 1950's). And it's too late to ask him now since he is no longer alive. He also opposed drinking. Everytime I went through the town where he was retired (in Minnesota) I'd stop and pick up a bottle of wine or two in his honor.
I think the theory was that you went to hell if you were an unbeliever BUT if you were a heathen and had not heard the Gospel news then you might not be damned. There were a few Sunday School type theories floating around about that. Disbelief in an inerrant Bible I think ranked rather high on the tickets to Hell list but I am not sure quite where. Inerrancy has since been quietly dropped from the official doctrines of the two more progressive Lutheran Church bodies in the US.

[Princess Turandot]

64. As does the Pope of the Catholic Church..

I assume your rabbi believes, as the Pope does, that when the ancestors of homo sapiens got to the right level of development, God imbued them with a soul.

The curious thing about the Book Of Genesis, is that if you leave out the 7 day business, the description of God's actions are consistent in several ways with evolution. I might be wrong, but I think Genesis says that first the oceans and the sky existed, then land, then life being created in the seas, and those creatures eventually making it to dry land. I don't think that's all that far off from what scientist's think: the timing and how the creatures changed is what is challenged by creationists.

[mitchum]

41. Jesus had a one as a pet...

it looked a lot like Dino Flintstone

[HeeBGBz]

45. According to some fundies

God put dinosaur bones in the earth to fool man.

[DrBB]

46. It's called a non-disprovable hypothesis

That's the difference between science and, well, whatever it is Creationism is. Non-disprovable. Dinosaurs, carbon dating, whatever, all easily dealt with. God dunnit. They think "non-disprovable' means "true."

[DemBones DemBones]

47. They hit 'em with those big Bibles.

:evilgrin:

[Swamp Rat]

48. They ARE dinosaurs! They were left here by alien lizards who have returned

to be their overlords.

[Elwood P Dowd]

49. Who cleaned up all that dung on the ark?

Thousands of animals for several weeks. Must have smelled like a Bushit press conference.

[Bake]

50. I believe God created the heavens and the earth

I just don't get all literal about the Book of Genesis or the genealogies. I happen to think that evolution is the method God used, and continues to use. I think that mathematics/physics is the language of God.

The whole Adam and Eve thing is simply mythological. In the theological sense, "myth" doesn't mean "false." It just means a story we use to get our arms around a concept that is too big to comprehend otherwise. "Adam," as many know, is the Hebrew word for "man." "Eve" is "mother."

I believe in God. I don't think that's irrational. And I see no inherent conflict between faith and reason, or faith and science. I don't use "God" to fill in the gaps in my scientific understanding of the universe. I don't need the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle to rationalize belief in God.


On edit: I have no problem with dinosaurs, carbon dating, or the scientific method. I don't need to deny proven facts, because they don't affect my faith.

Bake

[selmo7]

54. they don't give them credit

for the oil~~~~~~

[Kablooie]

56. Here ya go, straight from the creationist's mouth ...

http://www.creationism.org/topbar/dinosaurs.htm

Carbon-14 dating of carbon buried in the same layer with dragon bones helps to confirm that they are really only thousands of years old.

Dragons and sea monsters have become mostly extinct prior to our modern era. By the way, there is evidence that they grew much larger prior to the Great Flood. Just as humans lived much longer (Genesis records ages of some people to have reached over 900 years!) so a reptile ... living much longer then could have grown much larger before the Flood - which is indeed what we see in the fossil record of the pre-Flood world.

[SoCalDem]

57. Jesus had a pet dinosaur....his name was Kenny

I think it's in "Revisionists 7:12 ".. the book of Leroy..

[tblue37]

61. Here's the story:

The bible says that people lived much longer back then. Take Methuselah's 900 years, for example. Probably there was more oxygen in the atmosphere and lower atmospheric pressure, thus enabling them to live longer.

Now, we know reptiles continue to grow as long as they live, though slowly. If a lizard lived for thousands of years (because of all that oxygen enrichment and lower atmospheric pressure), then it could get that big, a little at a time.

No kidding. This was very earnestly explained to me by a fundie student who was trying to get me to read one of their creationist books.

There's yet another version:

God put those fossils on earth as a test, to fool unbeleivers, but also to test the faith of true believers.

No kidding--that version is quite common. To me it sounds as though they think God writes for The Onion.

[CWebster]

65. I don't know

How do they deal with the Neaderthal who was wondering around for millions of years?

[gander2112]

69. A site I hand out when I want to get a laugh

Unfortunately the site below is something that was put together to address children's curiosity. It really highlights th3e wackiness of the whole genre of creationists.

Hope you get a good chuckle out of this:

clarifying Christianity on the Dinos

Geoff

[ProfessorGAC]

70. Carl Everett Says There Were No Dinosaurs

See how easy that was? In a Sport Illustrated article, years back (maybe 4, but not sure), he said there were no dinosaurs. That the whole thing is made up and the skeletons are fake.

Just ask a nutcase baseball player for the answers to existence. That's sure to a good source of knowledge.
The Professor

[Petrushka]

71. Three "world ages" would explain it .

Did a google.com search and found the explanation here:

http://www.biblestudygames.com/biblestudies/threeworldages.htm

Makes sense t' me! :-)

[ChickMagic]

73. I saw a fundy painting

that had all sorts of animals on the ark, including triceratops. I digress, but here goes. I forgot who said this, but the quote was, "If God created all the animals, he was inordinately fond of beetles."

[Canuckistanian]

74. They believe "The Flintstones" was a documentary

Or reality TV, these days.

[greyfox]

75. Scuse me?

God cannot make dinosaurs?