Does anyone realize how incredibly stupid Americans are?

[serryjw]

This is not a joke...Some of you know I work for a market research company that specializes in focus groups..When i screen someone we ask a finally question to ensure they can think & articulate their opinions once in the group. The question: Give me three famous people ,living or dead, from any discipline, that you would like to invite to dinner and give me one sentence of what you would like to ask them....there is no right or wrong answer...Just want to hear people talk! It takes people 6-8 minutes for people to answer to answer. One woman put me on hold because she was getting so nervous she couldn't answer.... How long would it take you to answer?

[NC_Nurse]

1. I take health histories every day.

Some days I wonder if everyone's been eating lead paint.

[serryjw]

11. Nahhhhhhh

It's the koolaid!

[alittlelark]

36. Perhaps Teflon as well.....

[hellbound-liberal]

86. A couple of quotes from George Carlin about intelligence..

"Think of how stupid the average person is, and then realize that half of them are stupider than that"!

"The life expectancy and intelligence of the average human being just passed each other..going in opposite directions"!

"If the human race is the best that Mother Nature could do, all I can say is she set her sights low and settled even lower"!

[Newsjock]

2. They're probably trying to remember ...

... if their "famous people" are dead or alive (or Canadian).

[DukeBlue]

3. In person or on the phone?

If you are on the phone the smart ones signed up for the DNC list...

Jesus Christ. Can you please explain the Christian religion in your words?
Horatio Nelson. can you walk me through the battle of Trafalgar?
Albert Einstien. Please explain the theory of relativity in your words?

Did I pass, Kidding...

[serryjw]

7. Tell me the truth!

How long did it take you?

[1monster]

30. Channeling Albert Einstein:

"When you sit with a pretty girl for two hours, it seems like two minutes. When you sit on a hot stove for two minutes, it seems like two hours. That's relativity."

[StephanieMarie]

4. Remember that the AVERAGE IQ in America is 100

which means that HALF of Americans have an IQ BELOW 100. (Those are the ones who voted for shrub, you know).

[whistle]

22. The average IQ of America based on the American standard

...is 100. Based on a standard of the industrialized world, perhaps it is actually less. Try taking an IQ test designed for the population of the UK and I think many would be surprised that their ranking could slip by as much as 10. In the undeveloped world and IQ test based on survival aptitudes of the hunter/gathers might be impossible for most Americans even to score on.

[Clark2008]

24. The average is 100

Seriously, I thought it was lower.

Oy!


My three:

Jesus Christ. Because I want to produce him to my fundie neighbors and co-workers so he can tell them they've fucked it all up. I'd ask him the questions in front of them.
Teddy Roosevelt. Because he can A.) Make sure my fundie neighbors and co-workers sit the hell down and LISTEN to what Jesus has to say and B.) So he can explain what Republicans used to be like. Same protocol as the first.
Pete Townshend. Just because I think he's cool as hell and I still want to hear him explain Lifehouse just one more time. :)

(Edited because I'm not stupid and caught a typo! LOL!)

[Warpy]

28. Not quite

There is no cutoff point above an IQ of 100 that renders it impossible for a person to vote, although there is one that considers it futile. There is a cutoff point below 100 where people simply can't read a ballot, figure out how to use a lever or touch screen, or even write their own names.

Oddly enough, voters with IQs above 100 will slightly outnumber those below.

The problem is that about 90% of us are between 95-105, dead normal. If nice, normal people are being lied to 24/7, they will accept most of it.

That's what we're up against. Lies.

[depakid]

56. Actually, the spread is 85-115

That's one standard deviation (15) above and below. Aproximately 68% of the population should fall within that range.

What cracks me up is the people who claim (and this is common) IQ's of say, 160 or even 140.

An IQ of 130 on Weschler (or 132 on Stanford/Binet) is two standard deviations from the mean. Anyone scoring 130 or above is "more intelligent" than over 97% of the population.

[progressivebydesign]

57. Without revealing numbers, here, I finally understand WHY..

.. I am SO impatient with so many people.. perhaps 99% of people I deal with. Hee, hee.

[Left Is Write]

66. It's like my father says when my mother and I are carping about

perceived inadequacies in the public at large: "Yeah, yeah. Just remember you two are smarter than 99% of the world!" This is usually followed by a good-natured eye roll.

[Lone Pawn]

65. Um...why does it crack you up?

I have an IQ of 152-157. So did my mother. You do realize that some people (say, about .1% of them) actually are in the intellectual top 1%.

Although most people who do claim that are lying, I suppose.

And I also recognize that I offer absolutely no proof or substantiation of any sort whatsoever. Of course, it's not like it really matters.

[depakid]

75. because of the sheer number of people making such claims

Unless you are some kind of a prodigy or the test you took wasn't properly administered (and proctored) there is NO WAY you have an IQ of between 152-157.

That's over 3 standard devations from the mean (145 for Weschler, 147 for Stanford/Binet, and if you read the normal distribution correctly, you will see that you are claiming to be even more intelligent that 99.91% of the population.

Sorry lone pawn, no offense, I'm sure you're quite capable and intelligent, but I'm not buying that you're that capable.

Of course I could be wrong... with a population of what, about 295 million in the US, that would mean that there's probably at least a good 1.75 million out there in an age range where on might conceivably meet them.

[depakid]

81. Missed a decimal...

That should be at least 175,000 or so in the age range. :dunce:

[Boosterman]

69. Dont ya know

Everyone on the internet is a perfect physical specimen. They run 10 miles a week and possess a black belt in at least one martial art. Of course they are also highly intelligent.

[Boosterman]

70. hmm don't suppose you happen

to have handy a chart showing the likelihood of mental disorders among those of higher IQ?

[depakid]

79. No, but Stanford Bipolar Clinic did a study on that 2 years ago

which seemed to confirm historical observations that there is indeed a substantially higher prevalence of certain mental disorders among highly intelligent and/or exceptionally creative individuals than in the general population.

http://www.stanford.edu/group/bipolar.clinic/news/

Interestingly enough, at least two of the perhaps 10 or so individual's I've known who would validly test in the 150+ range are demonstrably bipolar. One is an adjunct professor at PSU who was one of Admiral Rickover's top aides when in his 30's (he was brought on board to try to deal with McNamara's 'whizkids').

He was a nuclear physicist at the time- until he began to suffer from moral dilemmas (like brought on the the onset of bipolar symptoms- which tend to expand emotional range). The man speaks 3 languages (that I know of) is a serious computer programmer and can trade literary quotes and pick up on allusions like no one I've ever seen.

When you sit in one of his classes, you're pretty much in awe of the connections he makes- especially when his thoughts are racing.

[Boosterman]

83. TY for the link

I know some people like that. Makes you wonder doesnt it? How the brains all wired. Are there certain tradeoffs? Seems like many of the people that I know that are in the 120+ IQ range are prone to be a tad eccentric.

[StephanieMarie]

5. Abraham Lincoln, Jane Austin, John F. Kennedy

Lincoln: would you please denounce the Repug party and join us Democrats?
Austin: would you please write some more books?
Kennedy: Would you please kick Kerry in the butt and jumpstart our party again?

[Taxloss]

23. What on Earth are you talking about?

eom

[SweetLeftFoot]

42. Jane Austen

Most likely, being a lady of manners, would not reply to your invitation if you spelt her name wrong!

[whistle]

6. Attila the Hun, Machiavelli and Aristotle and at the start of the...

...meal I think I would like to get at why each of them believed they remained so popular and well known up through into modern times. I would also be curious as to whether their notoriety over the centuries had gone to their heads or they they had developed some humility and perspective. Then I would ask, "How has humanity benefited or been harmed by the writings and philosophies of each of you and if you each had the opportunity to live your lives over again would you change any of your beliefs and values and if yes, how would you change them?"

[achtung_circus]

8. Although I'm Canadian

I believe (based on a very large, but non-random sample) that about 35% of my compatriots have trouble getting food to their mouths or walking through their day without bumping into the walls.

[leftyandproud]

9. I think we ALL realized this after November 2nd.

some had doubts that 50 million could possibly vote for the shrub last time...

now when almost 61 million vote for him, beating an articulate opponent by 3 million++, all doubts about the intelligence of Americans should be erased.

[knight_of_the_star]

19. I forget who said it

But some famous person said, "No one has ever gone broke betting on the stupidity of the American people."

[flygal]

44. And look at all the ones who got extremely rich off them

Amway, tv evangelists, walmart, etc

[Flying Dream Blues]

34. Exactly! And thanks for the laugh. n/t

[gaia_gardener]

10. It would take me awhile because it's only 3

and I would be trying to figure out who I wanted to narrow it down to. When I hear those questions, I often just walk away because I don't want to have to think about something so hypothetical and stupid (to me). The deeper part of that is that I don't want to "offend" anyone by not choosing them.

[sffreeways]

12. It would take me a few minutes

Jesus Christ...Are you really the son of God ?
Nixon..Did you have anything to do with the Kennedy thing ?
Poppy Bush...What really goes on at Bohemian Grove ?

It may take people so long because they have a tendency to want to make it the most important three questions of their lives rather than just any three famous people and any three questions. I could think of a million of em.

Hmmm, maybe I'm so stupid I don't get your post...and I don't realize it..

[serryjw]

16. BTW

Many do answer Jesus!

[sffreeways]

35. It was either

Jesus or Elvis, they both came to mind at once.

[Downtown Hound]

80. Heh, heh, I can tell you what goes on at Bohemian Grove

I used to date a girl that worked there. Basically it's just a big drunken frat party. The men are allowed to piss wherever and whenever they want, strippers are brought in, (and probably prostitutes as well) and members are waited on hand and foot. She was told that she had to smile all the time while waiting on the guys even if they groped her, which they did quite often.

As to all the stories you've hear about conspiracies being planned there and so forth, total bullshit. Granted, my girlfriend never actually got to hear what went on behind closed doors, but I guarantee you those guys are way to drunk to be planning much of anything beyond simply how to make it to the toilet.

[PowerToThePeople]

13. 3 of em.

JFK- Who fired the shot?
Nichola Tesla- Could you explain one of your theories that has been lost with time?
Nichole Kidman- Wanna get jiggy with it?

[SweetLeftFoot]

43. Kidman

Nicole's batting for the other team.

[ChairOne]

14. Wow - I'm a complete idiot then.....

It would take me quite awhile to decide who I wanted at dinner... There's soooo many..... and then when you take into account guessing at how well they'd get along with each other.... Sheesh - I'm thinking that only an idiot could answer that question quickly....

Hmmm.... would Castro and Rousseau get along? Wow - just think of the possibilities... LOL

[serryjw]

20. Did I mention.....

This is not a real dinner party...and they all coming to dinner on different days....does that help!

[Minstrel Boy]

27. I'm getting nervous just reading this thread. Can I put you on hold?

Only three? Oh, dang....

[ChairOne]

33. Nope, don't think you mentioned that....

... In that case, I like my scenario better - where they're all together - much more interesting....

AND WHY ARE YOU YELLING AT ME??

[Orangepeel]

15. that's not an easy question

it would take me a while to answer, and I'm pretty smart.

Six minutes doesn't sound like a lot. That's only 3 minutes to decide on 3 people and 3 minutes to think of 3 questions.

[Unforgiven]

17. Yes but..

it hurts! Ouch! :(

[Catherine Vincent]

18. I did a cooking survey over the phone and the woman on the phone

asked me who I would like to invite to dinner and why. It didn't take me long....I told her Bill Clinton because I think he is a very intelligent person.

[CHIMO]

21. How Long

Is the dinner?

[serryjw]

29. Honestly..you don't need

to plan the dinner menu & set the table before you answer

[CHIMO]

32. A Stupid Question

Is not the basis to make assumptions.

My dinner is a family affair. Business is business. Family is family.
Guests in our house are decided as a family.
Ask a stupid question and you will get a stupid answer.
Worse, is when one doesn't realize that they are asking a stupid question.

[BiggJawn]

25. 2 minutes...

Philo T. Farnsworth-Did you ever dream that your invention would indeed become the "Vast Wasteland" Newton Minow predicted it would?

Nicola Tesla- Explain wireless electric power transmission. How would anyone get any sleep with all that lightning flying around?

Erich Topp-How'd you survive the U-Boats?

And yes, we are getting more stupid each passing season as a culture...

[serryjw]

38. You're the only one that answered the question!

you get the prize

[BiggJawn]

41. Cool! I'm a WINNER!

We no longer question anything. We allow our "News" sources to tell us they're "Fair and Balanced", And skeptics are either poo-poo'ed as "killjoys" because we laugh at John Edward and his "Dead-Talking" (You can't kill people's hope like that! You're so mean!) or skewered as "Christian Bashers"

I have to wonder, how many women demanded that their doctors give them Viagra because some TV comercial told them to "Ask your Doctor" Back when it first came out under the old rules that said they could tell us to get the new pills, but they couldn't tell us what they treated. Case in point: When Claritin first came out, I thought it was an anti-depressent, because the spots were all full of happy smiling people and the music track was "Blue skies"...

Duh....But it was the best guess I could make given the sketchy information I had at hand.

Most people don't dig that deap anymore, which is why we have "Professional driver on closed course. Do not attempt this during rush-hour" disclaimers on car ads.

[serryjw]

64. As I have said many times.......

Critical thinking is in very short supply in this country and getting worse. Americans accept everything at face value with not an ounce of curiosity.I fyou are one that questions everything you are labeled a 'conspiracy theorists'. It just becomes easier to not talk to people. You either become as dumb as them or a CT

[lenidog]

26. Depending on when you call me

and what I was doing before you called me about a minute.

[Lizzie Borden]

31. Yes. I think that some of us actually do,

and of those, most are Democrats.

[renegade000]

37. lol it's a rather profound question in my opinion...

i'd probably take awhile to answer because i'd take it too seriously...like i really had the chance to have three famous people over, so i shouldn't waste my dinner slots.

[Jackie97]

39. I don't know.

I might take time to answer too. Even though I know of some famous people, I can't think of who I'd actually care to invite. LOL.

[da_chimperor]

40. Yes, but there's lots of stupid people in other countries as well

For some reason it's more obvious in Americans.

[flygal]

45. I can think of the people quickly enough

Eleanor Roosevelt
Marilyn Monroe
Jon Stewart

But, the questions are stumping me.

ER - I'd ask about her courage in fighting so many social injustices
MM - I'd ask about her marriage to Arthur Miller, why she left him
JS - I'd ask how good it felt to call Tucker Carlson a dick on national tv!

[CarpeVeritas]

46. stop and think for a minute just how dumb the average american is-

and realize that at least half of them are even more stupid than that.

3 minutes or so...

leonardo da vinci- i'd ask him about the mona lisa's smile, for starters...

man ray- i'd ask him to take my picture.

cleopatra- i'd ask her for some nookie.

on edit- emboldened names

[BiggJawn]

50. Cleopatra! LOL!

I was gonna have Marilyn Monroe over and ask her the same thing :7

[CarpeVeritas]

53. in regard to ms. monroe...

i once read where she often suffered from sores on a certain part of her anatomy, due to her propensity to use hydrogen peroxide to make sure that the carpet matched the drapes.

[BiggJawn]

61. Ouch!

Wonder if Joltin' Joe....Naw, can't go there anymore...Skinner Sed...:evilgrin:

[bdot]

47. My answer

In college, a communications prof asked part of that question to the class as a way to get to know us the first day. He asked who are 3 people (living or dead) that we would want to have a meal with. I answered: "Me, myself, and I".
He got a chuckle out of it.

[newyawker99]

49. Hi bdot!!

Welcome to DU!! :toast:

[txaslftist]

48. two minutes...

Mark Twain: "What do you think of the progress America has made since the civil war.
Albert Einstein: "You said the more you knew about the fundamental laws of the universe, the more convinced you were that there was a creator. How'd that turn out for you?"
Abraham Lincoln: "How did you manage to convince all the yankees that the civil war was about freeing slaves when really all you ever said was that it was about preserving the union?"

[BurtWorm]

51. To be fair, there are a lot of famous people living or dead to choose from

so it's not surprising it takes a while to whittle them down to three. I would choose Shakespeare, Henry Miller and Jared Diamond, off the top of my head. But I could make a whole lot of lists, and it would depend on what I've been reading or seeing or listening to.

That said, yes, Americans are idiots, by and large. ;)

[progressivebydesign]

58. But.. SIX TO EIGHT MINUTES?? 30 seconds is alifetime itself. n/t

[Stuckinthebush]

52. George W. Bush, Noam Chomskey, and Howard Dean

Oh, where do I begin?

Just watching Noam and Howard tear into W would be priceless.

[Carolab]

82. Weird!! Those were my picks, too. n/t

[pdxmom]

54. That one is pretty easy

Thomas Jefferson - please explain in direct language what you meant by separation on church and state, so we can stop fighting about it now.

Elvis - what were you thinking????

John Kennedy - how would you go about getting us out of this mess we're in now?

Actually, instead of any one of those famous people, I'd like to substitute my maternal grandmother. I think there was a lot more I could have learned from her, had I taken the time while she was alive, that would have had more of a positive impact on my life than any famous person ever could.

And if you need proof of stupid, just watch reruns of "You Want to Become a Millionaire" gameshow. How can people not know what two primary colors combine to make purple?

[Stella_Artois]

55. Easy

Joseph Stalin, Adolf Hitler. I'd ask them what they thought of my third guest. George W Bush.

[HamdenRice]

59. Survey Says!!! ..... Get this answer from Family Feud

A long time ago, I was mindlessly watching the old game show, Family Feud. The "right answer" in that show was not what actually was correct -- it was what the majority of people in the audience answered. The host was the smarmy Englishman, Richard Dawson.

The question was, who were the greatest geniuses of the day. The answer was: Henry Kissinger, Dr. Joyce Brothers and Richard Dawson!

[alexisfree]

60. Try working for Verizon Call Center I think our cust are the

most stupid.

1, I want a $20.00 credit to take my phone to the store that is 5 miles away. Gas is going up and im not paying for gas to see whats wrong with my phone? (Supervisor gave her the gas credit)

2. Why cant verizon wirel fix my car? (WTF) They said the are the best in the country??

3. Why is my phone suspended? YOU HAVENT PAID IN 3 MONTHS?? You guys claim to have the best service I want my phone on. ARE YOU GOING TO PAY? no

I can go on and on......

[bobweaver]

62. Every time Jay Leno does "Jaywalking" I am aghast at the ignorance...

[Arkana]

63. HEY!

Murkins ar smrt! Yu anti-Murkin commie!

:evilgrin:

Seriously, I agree with you. The reason the Repube soundbite works so well is because Americans are stupid and will believe anything if it's given to them in the form of "news" (a la Faux or CNN).

Edit:

Bill Clinton: I would ask him about the process he went through to write his book, and what he thinks the Democratic Party could do to reclaim its base.

Friedrich Nietzsche: The self-proclaimed "bad boy" of philosophy. It would be so much fun debating morality (or lack thereof) and the current political climate.

John Kerry: Ever since he became the nominee in 2004, I've wanted to sit down with Kerry and ask him how he got through the shit that the MSM threw at him during the election and what he thinks he could have done differently.

[hickman1937]

67. I don't consider myself stupid,

but maybe I am. If you called me with that question, out of the clear blue sky, in the middle of my busy day, I might not know. While I ponder pros and cons of paying the mortgage, as opposed to the vastly overdue electric bill, it might take me some time to come up with an answer that doesn't make me seem too idiotic. :shrug:

[hansberrym]

68. Just a second - Ronald, Hamburgler, and Mayor McCheese are holding.

Dinner conversation under the golden arches.

What's with your hair?
Pass the fries.
Is cheess brainfood?

No, I don't know. How stupid are Americans?
Beats me, why'd you ask?
Pass the fries.

Say Mayor, suppose you could have dinner with...?
What a clown.

[greblc]

71. Jesus,Harry Truman, Adolf Hittler...

Harry, why did you drop it?
Adolf, do you mind if I bitch slap you?
Jesus ,forgive me and help me bitch slap these two.

[Raised_In_The_Wild]

72. only a few are stupid and it's not entirely their fault

it's all the lead and the mercury in our food and water. Makes you aggressive and stupid, hence, neocons. I love your question! Here's my answer:

Socrates: I would like to prepare a little light lunch for the infamous rabble rouser and gadfly Socrates, and he could bring his friend Plato. I would like to ask them both to logically defend their rather misogynistic ideas about women, for instance when Socrates sent his wife away from his deathbed stating "a man should not have to die listening to a woman wail!" I would like Socrates to tell me how he can logically arrive at the conclusion that the wailing of women in such circumstances is a bad thing, as opposed to perhaps being a constructive thing, since he said himself that "no real harm can come to a good man." I would also love to have a little talk with Homer, Marcus Aurelius and Epicurus, but you said I may only pick three, so I shall pass them over.

Clinton: I would love to have a cocktail with Mr and Mrs Bill Clinton, just to tell them that they were the greatest presidential couple since the Kennedy's charmed us, and to tell Bill how much I appreciated everything he did for America, the good economy and job market we enjoyed under his guidance, how brilliant he was to find the way to pay off Shrub Sr's record national debt, and at the same time leave us with a 300 billion dollar surplus. Yes, when Shrub Jr stole power, he inherited a 300 billion dollar surplus from Bill, but of course, he quickly squandered it, and returned us to debt. But I would like to thank Bill Clinton for a few solvent years. I would also like to thank him for not jumping the gun and running amok starting wars, the way Shrub does, but for using diplomacy and containment instead. It gave us at least a few short years of mostly peace. I would love to tell Bill how much I admire his intellect, his diplomacy, statesmanship, altruism and how much I don't care about his personal habits, whether toilet or sexual. I will start taking an interest in the sex life of Bill Clinton when I start sharing a sex life together. Until then, my apologies, Mr. President, for the unjustified intrusion into your privacy practiced by the great rightwingnut conspiracy in the hope of assassinating your character. How much I appreciate the good years we had under his leadership. Of Mr. Clinton I would ask continued service to America. We need him. I would ask him to use his influence to encourage the cowardly Senate to Impeach The Son of a Bush for election fraud, and if not that, pick any of his other treasons.


Mozart: An evening with Mozart would be a perfect delight. Of the Wolf I would ask only one thing..."please play for me".

[babylonsister]

77. Hey, I can do nothing but welcome you to

DU! I got trashed myself today, so beware. But there's so much going on here, so many different frames of mind and opinions, don't get discouraged. :toast: And I'm salivating, because President Clinton was superb, and no one can ever take that away from him!

[Raised_In_The_Wild]

87. ty babylon!

great handle, btw, babylon. actually, i am not new to DU, i have a couple of other handles on which i have a couple thousand posts, but john asscraft keeps getting into my computer and totally trashing it. i have recently replaced my computer with a brand spanking new one still under warenttee, but asscraft is busy trashing that one too! nothing can get me back into my all password stuff, i dunno, i don't really understand it. everytime i come to DU my "spybot sweeper" says i picked up a couple of back door viruses and a few spybots. nice, huh? yep, john asscraft is in my puter alright, but you know, i am really gonna miss him, gonzales is going to make asscraft look like a teddy bear.

[Shadowen]

73. It could be because the question is worded like crap.

Anyway.

I think among smart people it might take longer, because there are so many more people they'd know of.

As for me, I'd invite Albert Einstein, Cate Blanchett, and Machiavelli. And as for what I'd like to ask them, "Does seeing what the United States' education system has become kill a piece of your soul?", "Do you have a thing for writers?", and "Are you really that cynical?", respectively.

[bleedingheart]

74. This is so easy...

Mary (mother of jesus - I want to know what she thinks about what has happened to the world and how people have hi-jacked her son's teachings.

Catherine the Great of Russia - What is you philosphy on life.

Eleanor of Aquitaine - same as Catherine....

So many others....

[Spider Jerusalem]

76. Not stupid, ignorant. There IS a difference.

Stupid = incapable, ignorant = indifferent...

And as to my three: FDR - "So, WERE you trying to force a war with the Nipponese Empire?"

Richard III - "Did you REALLY kill the princes in the tower?"

William Shakespeare - "Can I commission you to write a sonnet?" (for purposes of comparison to the Shakespearean canon, to lay to rest the authorship question once and for all).

EDIT: Took me maybe 2 minutes to come up with the list and the questions...maybe a little less. Not much longer than the time it took to type.

[rman]

78. 3 famous people is easy, but i never wondered what i'd ask them,

and i'd want to come up with some real good questions. That would take some time.

[ComerPerro]

84. Thomas Jefferson, Franklin Roosevelt, Trey Anastasio

Can't help myself. Had to go with Trey for the third one. Just so many things about his style and technique I would want to ask.

Of course, if I could bring Jefferson back to life, I doubt I would be able to ask him anything. He would probably be too busy asking me questions. About the cars outside the window, about my electric lights and appliances. And I would have to show him the PC and the internet.

[bobthedrummer]

85. It's more like the ahistorical component of our consumer oriented society

dominates because they're needed to not critically question the "new and improved".
:grr: