Is there some way I can STOP telemarketers??

[ailsagirl]

I opted out-- at least, I thought I did-- but they keep calling...

It's so intrusive!!

[JLucas4092]

1. Airhorn

Airhorn is the best method. You blast a few of 'em, they usually learn.

[Warpy]

14. My mother preferred a cap pistol

I try politeness first, but personally, if it's a persistent one, I'll mess with their heads.

"Let me get my husband so he can talk to you. He handles this sort of thing"

"George, telephone. George? GEORGE? OH MY GOD! HE'S DEAD!

There's never anybody there when I pick the phone back up.

I reserve this one for the assholes who won't take NO! for an answer and who call back after I hang up on them.

We will never get rid of these irritants. We passed laws agaisnt them here, so they just moved offshore where the "do not call" list doesn't apply.

[bobweaver]

2. "I have no money." It works like a charm, every single time.

[coloradodem2005]

6. No it doesn't.

I got called two hours later after telling one that by the same people.

[SharonAnn]

3. Opt out again, get the name of their company, tell them you're on

the Federal "Do Not Call" list.

This is from their website www.donotcall.gov

"The National Do Not Call Registry gives you a choice about whether to receive telemarketing calls at home. Most telemarketers should not call your number once it has been on the registry for 31 days. If they do, you can file a complaint at this Website. You can register your home or mobile phone for free. Your registration will be effective for five years."

Also, State "Do Not Call Lists" are at
http://www.the-dma.org/government/donotcalllists.shtml.

[havocmom]

8. Soon after Nov 2, Congress did a cute trick re that no call list

They decided it was OK for people on the no call list to be called by computers selling shit.

Ha Ha America! The telemarketers tried to stop the implementation of the No Call List by boo-hoo-ing about how their employees would lose jobs. Well, I'm guessing with the new computer calls, there are less people employed by telemarketing firms.

[Gman]

16. That explains why I'm only getting recordings now

on my voice mail. I was really pissed just today to find a partial recording of somebody's recorded pitch.

[blm]

4. Use the opportunity. "I will not make any financial decisions till Bush is

out of office."

"We thought we may have some extra spending money this year, but, Bush signed legislation that eliminated my husband's overtime pay, plus our healthcare costs doubled as of this month."

Seize the opportunity. You may start to enjoy it.

[The Doctor.]

9. I LOVE THAT!!!!!

I'm taking myself off the No-call list JUST so I can use that!

[blm]

15. I've been doing it for about 3 years now. Most of the callers agree

with me. I think it brightens their day. And if they're Bushlovers, then, fuck em...they deserve a dose of reality.

[The Doctor.]

18. Oh hell, I'd even add to it...

Especially if they're Bush-lovers.

After I explained my woes and got their sympathy rolling, I'd say, "well, did you notice it's been more difficult to find people that have extra money lately?"
(You NEVER lose a person's sympathy by suggesting they have a difficult job.)

By the time I got done with them, they would be thinking of a career change and "all because of Bush..." -Even the 'Bush** lovers'.

I have a few others too, but I can't wait to try this one.

(Ever tried, "How did you get this number? This is a government office. Get me your boss." (wait for 'the boss') "Who is this? Nevermind who I am - that's not important. We'll be sending two agents by to find out how you got this number, they'll be looking for {name of boss} to interview. Don't bother calling this number again - it's already been re-routed. We'll be in touch.")?

I LOVE that one! It gets great results.

[Clark2008]

21. That is a good one!!

I wish I'd hear that in some of my business calls! I would laugh and say, "I completely understand!"

Then, they'd probably do business with us. ;)

[whistle]

5. Yes, when you answer the phone and learn that it's a...

...telemarketer, be extremely polite, but ask then to hold on just for a few seconds while you switch phones, then put the phone down and just go about doing you work. After a few minutes of waiting with dead air, they'll hang up.

[The Doctor.]

7. Not on the no-call list?

If you're on that list you can sue their ass.

On the other hand...

:evilgrin:

When they call you can listen to their initial pitch, and then, in a deep southern Baptist drawl you say, "Well, now that sounds like a fine product, but y'gotta know that if you've not yet accepted Our Lord Jesus Christ as yer lord and savior."
Don't let him get a word in edgewise.
Go on with your own pitch to convert the telemarketer until he says 'hallelujah!'.

Or hangs up out of frustration.

[sarcasmo]

10. Caller ID is a good way to go.

The Telemarketers are 800#'s and blocked calls.

[Cronus Protagonist]

11. "Please take me off your call list. Thanks."

Works every time as long as that's all you say to them. Say nothing else. They have to do it and don't want to call someone who says that and only that.




http://brainbuttons.com/home.asp?stashid=13
Buttons for brainy people - educate your local freepers today!

[TheFarseer]

12. I keep getting some "unknown" bastard

calling my cell phone. When I answer it it's a hangup or someone not speaking english. I get "unknown" popping up calling me like 4 times a night!

[Sir Jeffrey]

13. Don't answer your phone...

Turn the ringer off. We let the machine pick up. We usually get to the phone in time. Even if we don't, if it's important they will call back.

I got sick of having people call me asking for my SS# while my daughter is trying to sleep. There are only so many times you can tell someone to go f*ck themselves, right?

BTW, if you haven't tried the no call list, I'd recommend that first. We did that but it didn't work either.

[LiberalFighter]

19. Invalid SSN's

These are used only for advertising purposes
002-28-1852
042-10-3580
062-36-0749
078-05-1120
095-07-3645
128-03-6045
135-01-6629
141-18-6941
165-16-7999
165-18-7999
165-20-7999
165-22-7999
165-24-7999
189-09-2294
212-09-7694
212-09-9999
306-30-2348
308-12-5070
468-28-8779
549-24-1889
987-65-4320

Or you can use any in the following format:
000-xx-xxxx
xxx-00-xxxx
xxx-xx-0000
where xxx must be 001 or greater
where xx must be 01 or greater
where xxxx must be 0001 or greater

xxx-00-xxxx would be the best to get by them such as 223-00-3546 unless they have a script that determines if a SSN is valid or not.

[ailsagirl]

17. Whoa!! I just posted this and I already have 10 replies!! Thanks

[Clark2008]

20. Heh!

I do actual telemarketing - not teleselling. I don't sell a damn thing over the phone. I mine for business prospects (I only call businesses, not residences and I don't ask for anyone's money) and I vet potential clients based on...well... let's just say I'm not a run-of-the-mill telemarketer, but I am familiar with the rules. Businesses are not protected on do-not-call lists, but I am familiar with them and how they work.

SO! In my infinite wisdom, here's what I'd do: ask them, politely, if they know you're on a do-not-call list. Tell them that you are, you have their company name and you expect them to stop within 30 days or you can and will file for monetary damages against the company. Immediately report it to your state's regulatory authority (Google yourstate + do not call list for info).

IF, however, it is a company you do business with - a credit card, cable company, etc., you are not exempt. They can call you up until 9 p.m.

Do you have a cell phone? I would suggest putting your phone off the hook until 9 p.m. and having family, friends and other important parties know to call your cell up until then. After that, if a TM calls you, blast 'em with the air horn. They're not doing their job properly.

Really - nothing can stop it totally. Sorry. :(

[kcass1954]

22. Tell them you're on the "No Call List"...

Then ask for their name, the name of the company they represent, and a phone number that you can use to return a call later. Ask for your phone number to be permanently removed from their contact list. Remind them that their phone call to you is illegal, and you intend to report them as soon as you hang up.

Remember that certain types of contacts are allowed - charitable organizations, pollsters, any company with which you have had any business dealing within the past 2 years.

When my son was 3, I used to put him on the phone and tell him to talk to them about Pokemon. They'd ask to speak to his mommy, he'd say, "Wait, I gotta tell you about this first..." It was hilarious!

My husband just hangs up on them.

[amazona]

23. they stopped calling me when I got on the no call list

Keep a log by your telephone. You are supposed to be able to file for $500 for each one who calls you contrary to law.

They never call me any more. :-(

The conservation movement is a breeding ground of communists
and other subversives. We intend to clean them out,
even if it means rounding up every birdwatcher in the country.
--John Mitchell, US Attorney General 1969-72

[Cleita]

24. I don't answer my phone and let the answering device

pick up. My friends know this so they tell me to pick up. Business associates usually leave a message. Telemarketers seldom do.

[Stinky The Clown]

25. Don't stop them ... have fun with them

Three stories .......

Got a call from some guy selling air conditioning ....

Mr. Cooler: But you should at least think about our new Dipee Doo Blow Kold Machine.
Me: I really don't need one.
Mr. Cooler: Why not? Surely you want to stay cool.
Me: I *do* stay cool. I have a fan
Mr. Cooler (chuckling): A fan?
Me: Its a reeeeeeaaaaaaallllly *big* fan.

Got a call from a money broker ....

Betty Gotbux: We are willing to give you a loan at no interest for 90 days.
Me (using my Donnie Doofus accent): You wanna just give me money? Kin ya hep me wit da applicationing?
Betty Gotbux: Sure we can.
Me: It won't matter that I got a record?
Betty Gotbux: I'm sure it won't.
Me: So you're willin ta hep me wit da paperwork, right?
Betty Gotbux: Yes, we are.
Me: Yanno, it got reduced down to manslaughter ......
Betty Gotbux: uh ......
Me: An, since I'm on parole, I need da money .....
**click**

Last is not a junk caller, but junk mail. We got two years of cocktail party chat from this one ....

One of our cats was named "Murray" (don't ask). He wasn't the brightest bulb on the string and tended to always want to be exactly where you were about to step. So we get this "survey" in the mail. We fill it out ..... in the cat's name, which we changed to Murray Underfoot. Listed his hobbies as hunting ..... bird watching ........ running ...... you get the idea.

Sure enough, lots of junk mail, all addressed to Murray Underfoot.

Dear Mr. Underfoot. Thank you for your service to our great nation. We would like to offer you Government Veteran's Insurance for a low introductory rate .......

Dear Mr. Underfoot. If you're like us, you enjoy a good cigar. Please try our Cigars by Mail plan .......

Dear Mr. Underfoot. You are preapproved for a low introductory rate credit card from Chase Manhattan .......

Dear Murray Underfoot. Do you know how you can save even more on your car insurance?

So just go with the calls. You have fun and the poor slob making the call (and who is, after all, just trying to put food on his family and will, in all likelihood, burn out in another two weeks) gets a break from the monotonous and very uncreative "no" replies he's been getting all night.