Another DU "Good Riddance" to JOHN ASHCROFT >>>

[Stephanie]

Here's your hat, what's your hurry.


________________________





Attorney General John Ashcroft (news - web sites) smiles as he makes a farewell speech to the conservative Heritage Foundation in Washington, Tuesday, Feb. 1, 2005.
________________________



Would anyone like to say a few words on this solemn occasion?

[ronnykmarshall]

1. So long

FUCK FACE!

[Bush_Eats_Beef]

2. My favorite moment: looking like he wanted to cry while Bush glared.

:toast:

[DemoTex]

3. As Randi Rhodes would say:

"Don't let the door hit you where the Good Lord split you."

[nostamj]

4. my tribute to JOHN!

JOHN! (from The Question W Revue)

(Sue and Joan)
HERE'S JOHN! HE ENTERS THE ROOM ON WINGS OF EAGLES!
JOHN! HE'S GRIM AS A TOMB AS HE PASSES OUT BIBLES
WHILE HE LIBELS THE LEFT!
THANK GOD, FOR JOHN'S ON THE SIDE OF RIGHT!
KEEPS THOSE NASTY BOSOMS OUTTA SIGHT, FENDING OFF MORAL BLIGHT!
HERE'S JOHN! NO CALICO CAT CAN SCARE OUR HERO.
HE STARTS THE DAY WITH A PRAY'R AND A DAB OF CRISCO.
HE'S THE NATION'S TOP COP!
HE'S WATCHING THE NET AND HE'S CHECKING THE BOOKS YOU CHECK OUT.
THAT'S OUR JOHN ON THE JOB!
HE'S BUSY LOOK ING OUT FOR YOU, THAT'S OUR JOHN!
WE FAWN.

(Miles and Rob)
FOR JOHN'S OUR HERO, 'CAUSE HE PUT AWAY TOMMY CHONG.
WHO SOLD BONGS ONLINE, SO WE THANK JOHN WE'RE SAFE FROM THAT NOW!
WITH JOHN WE HAVE A LEADER,
WITH JOHN WE CAN NEVER GO WRONG!
AND SO IF WE GIVE FREEDOMS UP THAT'S OKAY.
TRUE JOHN LOST TO A DEAD MAN.
BUT THAT WAS JUST PART OF GOD'S ULTIMATE PLAN.
IF JOHN SPEAKS LIKE A ZEALOT,
HE'S JUST OUR RIGHT WING TARZAN!
JOHN MUST ALWAYS BE TRUSTED.
YOU KNOW THAT HE NEVER HAS LUSTED.
NOT JOHN! NOT OUR JOHN!
AND WHO CARES THAT THE ANTHRAX GUY'S FREE?
NOT JOHN! PUTTING LIMITS ON FREEDOM SHOVING YOU IN A ZONE.
OUR JOHN! YOU HAVE WAY TOO MUCH FREEDOM.
YOU BELONG IN A ZONE!

(Various)
OH JOHN, THE PATRIOT ACT GAVE YOU THE POWER
JOHN! THE NUTS ON THE LEFT MUST BE MADE TO COWER.
IF THAT OLD BILL OF CIVIL RIGHTS
IS NOW OVERDUE FOR A FEW REWRITES,
WE'LL RELY ON OUR JOHN
AND WE'LL HAVE A LAUGH AT THE LEFT AND ALL THEIR WHINING.
JOHN..........
WOULDN'T RIDE ON THOSE PLANES, BUT THAT'S NOT A SCANDAL
JOHN! NO MEDICINAL POT FOR CANCER PATIENTS.

(All)
HE'S OUR MORAL AUTHORITY!
AND ALL PATRIOTS MUST AGREE.
WE FALL ON OUR KNEES
AND WE ASK FOR GOD'S CONTINUED BLESSING ON OUR SAVIOR, JOHN!
HE'S OUR JOHN!!

[rocktivity]

5. I guess this a farewell post, then

GET THEE BEHIND ME, ASHCROFT!
UNCLEAN! UNCLEAN!

He allegedly tries to avoid calico cats because they're especially Satanic. Actually, they tend to have an additional X chromosome so they're almost always female, while male calicos are almost always sterile.

Oh, and how about one last round of Let The Eagle Soar for old time's sake? (ADVISORY: The link contains material which may be unsuitable for music lovers.)

:headbang:
rocknation

[rocktivity]

21. Working link

Sorry, couldn't test the link while at work--can't stream.

Let The Eagle Soar

:headbang:
rocknation

[jmowreader]

26. Is there footage of him singing anything else?

Let the Eagle Soar is, without a doubt, the worst song ever written. I'd rather listen to a bleach commercial than that song.

He does, however, have a decent voice.

[JohnLocke]

23. Nope, that's an urban legend

http://www.snopes.com/critters/gnus/calico.htm

[TwilightZone]

6. "smiles"?

If that's a smile, I'd hate to see a frown.

His epitaph should read, "Lost to a dead guy".

[Dr.Phool]

7. Go do something usefull with that Crisco!

[Swamp Rat]

8. Ciao poopy pants!

[Blue-Jay]

9. No longer will we be afraid of the D-Cups of Justice!

Freedom!

[stevedeshazer]

10. Yes, I would like to say a few words

Stephanie, thanks for the opportunity.

Now, I'd like to thank YOU, John Ashcroft on behalf of the following:

-The medical marijuana users in Oregon and their doctors, whom you threatened via the DEA

-Brandon Mayfield, who was arrested and falsely accused of terrorism in the Madrid train bombing based on phony evidence

-The detainees at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, some of whom have been held for nearly three years without charges or legal respresentation

-Ken Lay and the cast of assorted corporate criminals at Enron, who appear to have walked away free after looting billions

-"Grandma Millie", who is still paying for this corporate looting spree today

-Comedians everywhere, who profited thanks to your singing talents

-Artists and sculptors everywhere, who reevaluated their works to see how they'd look behind blue curtains

-The United States Constitution, which you swore to uphold but instead swore at

-The good folks at Operation TIPS and all the neighbor narcs it helped create

-And all Americans who watched your press conference in May 2004 when you tried to scare the shit out of us because your beloved President's poll ratings were dropping

And EXTRA SPECIAL DOUBLE -PLUS thanks to your gallstones.

Did I miss anything? Thanks for the memories, and for losing an election to a dead guy.

Buh-bye.

[Stephanie]

12. Thank you, Steve

For you:



http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/050127/480/dcgh10201271819

[ernstbass]

11. Has the eagle soared in it's final flight?

[Chelsea Patriot]

13. Stephanie, Could you post your classic 'Ashcroft Flying High'?

Thanks!

[Stephanie]

14. Thanks for asking! Excellent suggestion -

NOTE THE DATE:

Ashcroft Flying High

WASHINGTON, July 26, 2001
CBS News Correspondent Jim Stewart reports on Aschcroft's travel arrangements.


Attorney General Ashcroft, with President Bush (Photo: AP)

(CBS) Fishing rod in hand, Attorney General John Ashcroft left on a weekend trip to Missouri Thursday afternoon aboard a chartered government jet, reports CBS News Correspondent Jim Stewart.

In response to inquiries from CBS News over why Ashcroft was traveling exclusively by leased jet aircraft instead of commercial airlines, the Justice Department cited what it called a "threat assessment" by the FBI, and said Ashcroft has been advised to travel only by private jet for the remainder of his term.

"There was a threat assessment and there are guidelines. He is acting under the guidelines," an FBI spokesman said. Neither the FBI nor the Justice Department, however, would identify what the threat was, when it was detected or who made it.

* * * * *

Asked if he knew anything about the threat or who might have made it, the attorney general replied, "Frankly, I don't. That's the answer."

* * * * *

All other Bush Cabinet appointees, with the exception of Interior and Energy with remote sites to oversee, fly commercial airliners. Janet Reno, Ashcroft's predecessor as attorney general, also routinely flew commercial. The secretaries of State and Defense traditionally travel with extra security on military planes.

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2001/07/26/national/main303601.shtml

[Bluebear]

15. A favorite news story of mine. n/t

[MsAnthropy]

16. WOULD HE JUST LEAVE ALREADY?!

[MisterP]

17. "You see, Mulder, there are two sorts of people in this world..."

[Stephanie]

18. I wish I had noticed this photo before my editing time expired >>>

http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/050127/480/dcgh10201271819

[Swamp Rat]

19. Pure evil this "man"

[Squall]

20. With his departure, we can let the eagle soar once more, perhaps... (n/t)

[Rex]

22. Fuck off and die Lord Crisco!

Next

[ck4829]

24. Bye John

John Ashcroft, you have just received 2 offers for a job.

You can:

1. Take your racism and join the KKK

OR

2. Take your religious fanaticism and join the Taliban

[bearfan454]

25. Get to fuck out Nazi !