Help design tonight's SOTU drinking game

[Can o Beans]

I'll start:

1. Everytime * utters the word "freedom" the person in room the closest to Iraq must lie down and do an upside-down kamikaze shot in honor of whatever lie that is being told about the invasion.

[FormerDittoHead]

1. Wouldn't make it past the first 3 minutes...

Within *5* minutes, we'd be so drunk the plan to corporatize Social Security would start to look GOOD!

[SammyWinstonJack]

3. Doubt I could ever get that drunk.

Anyway, I am not going to listen to the Evil War Monkey's BS tonight so I don't have to worry about that.

[Can o Beans]

4. Rule 2

Someone in the room gets appointed to be "Dick" and someone else gets appointed to be "Scott". Anytime the word "Cheney" is mentioned, "Scott" turns off all the lights in the room for 10 seconds, and "Dick" gets to steal and drink anyone else's beer he wants.

[Nicholas D Wolfwood]

2. Every time he mispronounces something, take a shot.

You'll be drunk before the third applause.

[rkc3]

5. Slam a beer for every wink to the crowd and one for his patented...

articulation whenever he's trying to make his point.

[GiovanniC]

11. Articulation

Or, what I like to call, "pro-nounce-ee-yation."

[Betsy Ross]

6. With the radio and tv off, I am just going to cry in my beer.

fixed typo on edit

[Can o Beans]

7. Rule 3

Anytime any combination of the words, Axis or Evil, are uttered, the person to the left of Dick must put his left pinky to his chin, say the word, "Eeeeeeeevil?" using his best imitation of Dr. Evil from Austin Powers. That person then becomes Dr Evil and gets to assign drinks to anyone to the Right of Dick he feels deserves it. Not that anyone is to the right of Dick, of course.

[paineinthearse]

8. A shot for each utterance of "freedom" or "liberty".

40+ in the 'nauguration, imagine how many * will stumble over in 45 mnutes. We'll be plastered.

[quispquake]

9. Actually someone did a pretty good job coming up with a game already...

http://www.drinkinggame.us/

[theblasmo]

10. Oh Boy...

For those who don't drink, the same effects could possibly be experienced by replacing beer with pretzels.

1. One drink for every shot of a person with a blue finger (in support for the Iraqi election). If they point these out before the speech, during the networks' intro bumpers , it doesn't count (Unless you want to actually be drunk FOR the speech itself instead of getting drunk during it).
2. One drink for each use of the term "personal accounts" instead of "private accounts".
3. One drink for each of these words or phrases: crisis, evil, freedom, liberty, God (variations count), specific names of people in the crowd, appeals to the youth via fear of the future (social security here), strength, terrorism, WMD, Iran, Tsunami.
4. One drink for every full standing ovation.
5. Two drinks for every half-the-crowd standing ovation (Repubs only).
6.Five drinks for any kind of heckling or banter in the crowd.
7. One drink for every close-up shot of a politician. If it's a scowling Democrat, take two (Want to guess how many times Hillary's shown?).
8. You may want to bet on what issue the Pres. speaks on that will never be mentioned again, such as Mars, or fuel-cells, or yellow-cake uranium. Just drink constantly during that part, so you'll forget it, too.
9. One drink for every time he leans his head forward to emphasize a point or when he articulates a certain word or phrase to make sure he's both getting it across and saying it correctly.
10. One drink for every "set up person" in the crowd as he walks in (such as having a child there to be hugged).
Have fun!! And don't drive afterwards.

Or, better yet, watch the Wonderfalls DVD and stay sober.