The Iraq War: What's in it for ME?

[Enraged_Ape]

Hey, Republican lurkers, as a fellow archneoconservative, I really need your help with this.

I've been thinking about this Iraq war and trying to decide what's in it for ME. You know, Number One. Numero Uno. Wahashi. Me. Myself. I. And I gotta tell ya, I'm coming up with NOTHING.

The way I see it, we're killing our own people (something like 1,400) and spending hundreds of billions of dollars to do...what? There weren't any weapons of mass destruction there, and I was NEVER afraid that Saddam Hussein was going to kill me in my bed while I slept, so I've gotten no relief or peace of mind out of it. And please don't tell me we're "spreading freedom and democracy"; like I could really give a fuck about that. It seems to me like we're spending more money on schools and the like in Iraq than we are in our own country, so what do I get out of that?

I won't mention the untold hundreds of billions in welfare to corporations like Halliburton, who offshore a great percentage of that money and in whom I have no ownership. Nor will I mention the billions that have been LOST or MISPLACED, like the $9 billion discussed briefly in the media this weekend.

So my question, kimosabes, is what do I get out of this, besides JACK SHIT? I think I'm getting majorly screwed, do you?

[Ilsa]

1. Hey don't worry about it!

We're going to pass that national debt on to your kids at a whopping interest rate. When you retire, you'll be getting high interest accruals on your uninsured deposits (once we attack the banking system, which is item number 18 on our list of 20th century democratic things to undo).

[Inland]

3. No sacrifice by somebody else too great for freedomliberty

No sacrifice by defrauded troops, later generations kids too great for freedomliberty.

I am willing to saddle our kids with as much debt, and let as many of some Americans I don't know, be killed for whatever it is that Bush will tell us is the goal in Iraq next week.

Party on!

[Inland]

2. We are doing it all for the love of Iraq. Or rather, the soldiers are.

We sent 1500 Americans to die out of charity. Six billion a week out of charity. Thousands of Iraqi civilians killed out of charity. Hated all over the world out of charity.

You get nothing out of it. Yes, Bush TOLD you that the war would make you safer, but he was wrong, and has dropped that rationale for charity work.

On the other hand, you aren't dead, or on deployment for years. Moreover, Bush is borrowing the entire cost of the war and putting the burden on our kids in enormous debt. So it doesn't hurt or help you personally, so get republican and get happy! Support the troops by letting them die, not for their country, but for someone else's, even though those someone else's never wanted them in the first place.

[mistertrickster]

4. YOU get nothing--but Bush, Cheney, and their big backers get

BILLIONS. And since all Republicans think they're going to be rich very soon, even if their 'corporate position' consists of bussing tables at Denny's, eventually the invasion will pay off.

What's the matter with you? You some kind of REALITY thinker or something? <heavy sarcasm>

[Ilsa]

5. Hey, why you can't you be happy for those rich Rethuglicans?

Where is your Christian charity? Besides, don't you know it will trickle down? If you're patient, maybe you'll get a few pennies.

[Enraged_Ape]

6. The cognitive dissonance Republicans feel must be killing them

I mean, if selfishness is the conservative reason for waking up every morning (and it is), then they must be wracking their brains trying to come up with a justification for why this war is PERSONALLY good for them. But this war falls short of even that.

But, then, cognitive dissonance and brain-wracking requires the presence of "cognition" and "a brain", so what the hell am I thinking?

[natrat]

7. Freedom is on the march brother

that's all you need to know

[SmartBomb]

8. Love the question

Bush has tried, and will continue to try, to couple our security with the spread of "democracy" in the world. I forget where he said it, but he recently stated that our safety is directly connected to this process of forced democratization. The idea is to keep freepish America focused on the ideal, and not on the real. Merkins are an emotional bunch, they will gladly auto-sodomize themselves for a righteous patriotic cause.