Are you Rapture Ready !!??!!

[Stella_Artois]

These are the endtimes my friend, join millions of real Americans as they pray hard and study their Bibles in order to be Rapture Ready !

http://www.raptureready.com/rap2.html

This scientific (endorsed by the Creation Science studies department of a leading university) study on todays environment tells gives you an indication of when you will be spirited off to heaven !

Did you know that the EU is the Government of the Beast and its commisioner is the Antichrist ?

33 Beast Government:
There is a growing belief that the EU is going to have a difficult time ratifying its Constitution.

34 The Antichrist:
The EU is looking a new President

You do now !

[Stop_the_War]

1. Bah! Is this some kind of fundie anti-European propaganda?

[Stella_Artois]

3. I have no idea

I think it may be a parody, but only because i can't believe people are really like this.

[Stella_Artois]

11. lol its in the FAQ

Will the Antichrist come out of the European Union?

"And the ten horns which thou sawest are ten kings, which have received no kingdom as yet; but receive power as kings one hour with the beast" (Rev: 17:10).

"For God hath put in their hearts to fulfill his will, and to agree, and give their kingdom unto the beast, until the words of God shall be fulfilled" (Rev 17:17).

The Bible predicts that someday a world leader will emerge from a revived Roman Empire. The European Union is clearly the fulfillment of this prophetic event. At some point, ten leaders will come to rule the EU. The likely reason for the ten political bosses is the need to streamline the decision making process. When the EU grows to 25 nations, it will become quite clear that a central governing body will be necessary. The book of Revelation tells us that the ten kings and the Beast (Antichrist) will rule at the same time. It looks like the current timeline and the prophetic timeline are about to join up with each other.

At this time, the leadership of the European Union rotates among its member nations, shifting to a new EU president every six months. I see it as a kind of musical chairs game: Who will get that last, all important chair when the music stops playing?

http://www.raptureready.com/faq/faq179.html

[Hoping4Change]

29. Self erased until I get futher information.

[alexisfree]

2. ??

[Az_lefty]

4. Take Me! Take Me!

O8)
:bounce:

[Stella_Artois]

8. Have you ever used porn ?

If so, you are toast.

[Huckebein the Raven]

26. well that leaves me out

On the good side, there will a lot of nice luxury cars around

on edit: There's nothing but good side

:thumbsup:

[WLKjr]

39. What?!!?!

I was only admiring the beauty of his/her creation, If they didn't want me to look at breasts of all shapes and sizes, then they wouldn't have made them so nice! :D

[trotsky]

5. I sincerely hope the rapture DOES happen.

If we could get rid of religious fundamentalists, the world would be a lot more peaceful and happy.

[nickinSTL]

6. the Creation Science studies department of a leading university

Riiiiiight.

A leading university? What leading university has a 'Creation Science studies department'?

[Rush1184]

13. Bob Jones probably...

but no serious scholar will refer to it as a leading university, or refer to it period as a true university.

[Stella_Artois]

14. Sorry,

That was me doing my best fundie impression, you have to get into the spirit of the thing don't you ? :P

[Rush1184]

7. All the fundies allready told me I was going to hell...

so, what preparations do I need to make?

[liberal N proud]

9. Now I am afraid.

[TwilightZone]

10. Blondie?

That's the only rapture I'm capable of dealing with, thanks.

[woodsprite]

12. You know it's a fundie 'cause we think the AC is Bush! n/t

[kiraboo]

15. That's gotta be a joke. But if not,

I want a "God Fearing" mansion when I enter the Kingdom! lmao.

[calimary]

34. I've never cared for the label "God-fearing." Seems to me if you do

fear God, maybe it's because you did something really bad and you damned well BETTER fear God. I'd hope that maybe I wasn't in that category. I'd rather love and appreciate God.

As for the so-called "rapture," we call it the CRAP-ture around my house. Coupla 19th century nut-cases MADE IT UP, using a couple of disparate Bible passages and putting two and two together and getting 137-and-a-half. Sorry, but this Catholic doesn't buy it.

BTW - sorry about the sig line. Not sure yet how to delete it, but the 800 number mentioned doesn't exist anymore.

[AnnInLa]

16. Ever since I've been around

The end of the world has been imminent. When I was a girl, such talk used to scare me to death...now it just amuses me and makes me sad because it is scaring other children to death.

I'm not old, I've just been around a long time.

[indigobusiness]

23. Looks like that guy on the left has come to his senses

and is trying to hitch a ride otta there.

[Pig_Latin_Lover]

17. Are they sure it's the EU?

Doesn't it say in the Bible that people will be fooled by the Antichrist? What better way to fool people than to project your own evil onto others? What if the US is the Beast Government and the EU is the good one?

Oh, right. We've got GOD on our side!

[izzybeans]

18. If they really believed in this rapture nonsense Bush wins the part

of the Great Deciever and the U.S. is the return of the Roman Empire. No other geopolitical org. seeks expansive territorial control.

This should be an interesting drama. I really hope that they start bringing this rapture stuff into the public more often. Whose got the popcorn? ...cause I've got a handful of laughs waiting in the ready.

Perhaps one of us should start a Rapture cult, get them to turn over their worldly possessions while we lead them off to the end times (which will no doubt be a themepark of some sort). Then we could donate the funds generated from their "donation" to a whole host of progressive causes. With no social security left for them after the Rapture NEVER COMES they can live on the streets where the people they cherished making fun of used to be. Because as it turns out the formerly homeless will now be living in the homes of the rapture christians and working jobs that these now "homeless because lazy" rapturites used to hold. They were too busy in the hills waiting to be beemed up by that white dude (the caucasio-christian Jesus) they used to see in the life-sized cardboard cutout leering in the corner of the room during their bible school class. Our deception wouldn't be so "great", but "jesus" would have wanted it that way.

Isn't that the biblical version? yes I think that's what the bible says.:evilgrin:

[ThoughtCriminal]

19. I'm not even ISO 9000

So what chance can I possibly have?

[Sir Jeffrey]

20. No, but my mother-in-law prays extra hard for us n/t

[indigobusiness]

21. I was Raptured by John, Paul, George, and Ringo.

Beatlemania was The Rapture.

[Cleita]

22. I used to think those people were funny, now I fear them.n/t

[mzmolly]

24. Lord these people are looney!

:puke:

[ernstbass]

25. Hell no - I won't go!

[JHB]

27. Shake your head sadly and tell them "But we missed it! We're already Left

Behind!" Proceed to argue that the Rapture took place in 2000, and if you didn't beam up then, you're one of the Damned!

[Dyedinthewoolliberal]

28. Am I ready for Rapture?

Is that some kind of new dessert or something? :) :shrug:

[jdj]

33. actually it's an old Blondie song

God I miss Debbie Harry.

[Trixxie]

30. OMG

The first time I clicked that I got a porn pop-up, What the ? Porn for Jesus?

[progressoid]

31. Argh - He's right across the river from me!!

He lives in Omaha NE!

[Ezlivin]

32. 88 Reasons the Rapture Could Be In 1988 - Remember this book?

It was very popular.

And the next year the author issued an update: "The Final Shout--Rapture Report 1989"

To paraphrase the Queen: "Rapture Tomorrow, Rapture Yesterday, But Never Rapture Today"

[geniph]

35. Oh hell, the Rapture happened a long time ago

They already came and took the one righteous man they could find.

It's funny to watch the fundy fruitbats contort themselves trying to fit the New World into Revelation prophecy. It drives them into serious cognitive dissonance. We're just not in there anywhere. Not too surprising. ;-)

The Antichrist may arise at a time of "ten kings" but I rather suspect he's already here...and 51% of the American people voted for him. He's the one that subverts the message of Christ, and uses Scripture to justify his own methods. Now, who does that sound like to YOU?

[WLKjr]

37. been saying it all along

And my mom (who actually went to college for bible stuff) tells me something to the fact that the beast is also to have a large following of people that think he can do no wrong or something like that at which point I say, "like the right wing facists?"

[VioletLake]

36. I think my ass is about to "rapture."

That's what I get for eating chili for lunch. :hurts:

[VioletLake]

38. Rapturing ass, if you will... n/t

[Zhade]

40. "The Rapture" is a heretical teaching that does not exist in the bible.

It came along in the 1800s.