Reality...Have you ever had unprotected sex, had a condom break,

[cally]

missed a pill? Have you ever had sex during an illness without using additional BC. Have you ever played around without protection? Have you ever had a pregnancy or STD scare?

I would bet that every person on this board who is/was sexually active have faced these worries. Tell me you are anti-choice and then think back when you might have been faced with this decision. Where would you be today with that child or illness? I'm honest enough with myself to know that I was just plain lucky. Choice is not about promoting abortion but allowing choice. If this culture makes it illegal then all that means is that more women will die undergoing illegal and unsafe abortions. I'm done arguing the morality of abortion. Let's talk how it changes your life.

[patricia92243]

1. Condom broke - my son is now 32 years old.

[Yupster]

11. Same thing here

Our son is seven. We said we'd discuss whether to have kids on our next anniversary. He was born right about when the discussion was scheduled.

[flamin lib]

2. Had a condom break back in the 60's.

'Course that's cause it suffered from dry rot in my wallet.

Truth of the matter is, if you (the editorial you) haven't been lost in the throws of passion to the point that good sense and reason no longer exist, I feel sorry for you.

Abstinence only is foolhardy.

[maveric]

3. Condom broke - my son is now 23 years old.

Best break I ever got.

[Speck Tater]

4. Ummm. I have three kids. So ... (nt)

[DrWeird]

5. I think most pro-lifers are like John McCain.

They'd be fine with abortion if one of their own family members wanted one.

[Lars39]

6. Add to that taking antibiotics and not knowing

that they interfere with bc pills.

[ClintonTyree]

7. What's up with all of the Abortion madness tonight?

Christ, you'd think this was the first time the subject had ever been broached.

[intheflow]

8. My son is 22.

A great kid! Who should be severely screwed up, but is actually level-headed, smart and funny.

So when I found myself pregnant at 17, I obviously chose to have the child and raise him. Abortion wasn't the right option for me for many reasons, but neither could I envision carrying a child to term, having that life grow within my body, and giving it away for adopton to God-only-knows who.

But God knows it was the hardest thing I have ever done. I married his father and it was an abusive, violent, alcoholic relationship. I would never presume to impose that life on any woman, man, or child.

Nor would insist that adoption is a viable choice for anyone. Getting pregnant is not always the woman's choice, but what to do with that pregnancy must be. Women are rational cratures. To assume that they will regret the decisions they make, or to assume that "one size fits all" is responsible reproductive freedom is ludicrous.

BTW, I was smack in the middle of the Mall in the picture you've included in your post. Traveled all the was from Denver to make sure there was one more bodysupporting safe reproductive rights in America. :thumbsup:

[cally]

9. You are a woman that I admire

You made a difficult choice and made it work for you. Then you continue to fight so that other women have a choice also. My life and my choices are because of women like you. Thank you.

[Pithlet]

10. I think that for many "pro-lifers"

Abortion is some abstract subject to get passionate about. It's easy to rail against something that has never affected you directly. It's easy to think "that will never happen to me", or "that only happens to deserving people, they should face the consequences". Being pro-choice is often about thinking beyond your own life and experiences. That is a hard thing for some people.

[Mandate My Ass]

12. NO NO NO! Sex is like taking drugs, but only for women

Men have nothing to do with unintended pregnancies, there probably wasn't even one present at the time. Pregnancy is an appropriate punishment for bimbos and we must save them from having regrets of their stupid decisions. Dumb, irresponsible sluts. :eyes:

In all seriousness, my son is the product of a broken condom but I have no regrets there. After he was born and I was a teenage mom living with an alcoholic abuser who refused to let me take the pill, life was interesting. I did have two scares, one during that godawful marriage and one later when I was a struggling single mom, with a guy who was not father material, if you know what I mean.

Being forced to have a child either of those times would have harmed my son far more than anyone else and would have either trapped me in that hellish marriage forever or maybe he would have killed me by now. If it was with the second guy I'd probably be living in some slum and working at a Walmart while he sat home and drank beer all day. I got my degree only because I earned just enough to keep a roof over our heads and enough to go to school. No man participated in that endeavor so any male who tells me he knows what's best for me can kiss my round, white ass.

on edit: An interesting side note to this. I was prone to frequent sinus infections during my twenties and thirties. During that time when I was regularly prescribed antibiotics, not one doctor ever asked me if I was on the pill. I only learned about the antibiotics making the pill ineffective in a Dear Abby column more than a decade after becoming sexually active.

[kcass1954]

13. Missed 1 pill back in 77.

I opted to have an abortion at 23. I have had times since then that I have maybe regretted it, but I wasn't financially or emotionally ready to be a parent. I waited until I really wanted children, and they benefit greatly from that wait. (I'm 50 - they are 18 and 8.)

I wish abortions weren't necessary. I've said for years that I'd never have another one. As a Catholic, I know full well the Church's position. And yet, I really don't feel that it's my place to force my personal beliefs on everyone else.

As an aside to this, someone I went to HS with died from a back-alley abortion in 1970. Which explains how I came to be so pro-choice.

[MrSlayer]

14. I wore a condom for about 15 seconds once.

Tried it once when I was a kid and didn't like it at all. Never used one again. I was fortunate to get away without ever having an STD despite the number of groupies, strippers and "party" girls I was with. No unwanted pregnancies either, as far as I know. Just lucky.

[rabbit2484]

16. It was great reading your post

and watching the words come out of Clarks mouth. I love Wes and that gave me a good laugh.

:smoke:

[MrSlayer]

19. Haha! I can make him say it if you want.

That talking Budwieser site is funny as hell for this type of thing.

[livinginphotographs]

15. I've had all three.

And my ex has had an abortion. I remember going to the clinic, and seeing this one guy that really stuck with me: his girl, after having the procedure, dropped her purse, and he just sat there oblivious while she stooped down to pick it up.

Then there were the protestors, who heckled this one girl who was coming in alone. It was disgusting.

I'm a man, so I can't imagine what it's like to go through that procedure. Therefore, I'll support a woman's right to have one, and a woman's right not to have one. Since I can never become pregnant, I'll never be presumptious enough to make that decision for someone. I can't imagine how painful it can be, which is why I paid for it and paid the extra money for the anesthetic.

Like I said, I'm a man, so I can't really give a concrete opinion on the subject. My attitude is that I can't tell women how to take care of their bodies. I think abortion should be a medical issue, not a political one.

/end self-righteous rant

[Heddi]

17. I was 18 and it was the 2nd time I'd ever had sex, and the condom broke

it was prom night...I was 18, 2 months from graduation.

I had only had sex w/my boyfriend once before. We used a condom then as well.

This time, we had sex, used a condom, and afterwards, took the condom off and flushed it down the toilet.

The next day, I was using the bathroom and felt something odd in/around my vaginal area. Felt down there and felt RUBBER! I was horrified. Pulled it out and sure enough, it was 1/2 of the condom. We never even knew it broke.

I was freaked out. LITERALLY freaked out. I saw my entire future just swirl down a neverending drain of despair and poverty.

My mom and I are close. I had been taking the pill when I was 16---she wanted me to be 'ready' in case sex happened on the spur of the moment. She had of course educated me that the pill only prevented pregnancy, not STDs.

I had stopped the pill about 2 months before this out of stupidity and ended up having sex the first time right afterwards.

As close as we were, I was so terrified to go to her. Not because I thought she would beat me, or disown me, but because I didn't want her to be disappointed in me. I was the result of an unplanned pregnancy. I was conceived on graduation night. She was 19 and ill prepared to have a child.

I went to school the next day and told my boyfriend about what I had found. He was equally freaked and just kept asking "How did this happen? What are YOU going to do now? What now?" I screamed "HOW THE FUCK DO I KNOW "WHAT NOW?""

We bought a pregnancy test that day, it was negative, but I expected it would be regardless of my status since "it" happened only a few days earlier.

In South Carolina at the time (1994), there were no Planned Parenthoods. Some abortion providers, but many more "Birthright" centers and "Abortion Alternatives".

I called a few abortion clinics. Found that the procedure would cost about $300. HOW would *I* ever get that much money? Would I be able to get an abortion and not have my mom know? She'd be able to tell, I was sure. She could always tell when something was wrong, or when I was hiding something from her.

I approached my boyfriend and told him how much the abortion would cost (if I was indeed pregnant). He said "What about adoption? Have ya thought of that? I can't afford $150" I said "I don't have insurance. How can I work and be pregnant? How can I go to school?" I was mad because even if I carried the pregnancy to term, he'd be able to start college in the Fall. I probably wouldn't (side note--I ended up not going to college anyways until I was 23, but that's another story). I was mad that he was more concerned about coming up with his 'half' of the money than he was about my future, his future, our 'baby'....I don't know how I expected him to react, or what I wanted him to say, but he precisely reacted and said everything that I didn't want to hear, or didn't need to hear.

As the week progressed, "How did this happen" turned into "Why did YOU (me) buy cheap condoms?" "I never told you to stop taking the pill". It was all my fault. I felt horrible, and i couldn't turn to anyone. If I told even my best friend at school, I was afraid it would spread like wildfire---not a good thing. I was still terrified of telling my mother. I knew she'd cry. I was torn and alone and scared and just completely at the end of my rope. I felt like I was slowly (quickly) going insane.

Then, at the end of the week, a wonderful, beautiful thing happened.

I started my period.

I knew the 'waiting game' wasn't over yet. I took another EPT test a few weeks later, which came out negative again. I took a home pregnancy test every month for at least 4 months---just to make sure, you know.

My boyfriend and I broke up shortly after that. I couldn't accept his negative attitude and attitude of blame towards me, as if he were free of any responsibility (not to say that the condom breaking was anyone's fault, but it certainly wasn't my fault any more than it was his).

Since then, I've learned several things:

1) I've never had sex with anyone without knowing their stance on Abortion beforehand. I will not sleep with someone who is pro-life or anti-abortion

2) I have stayed on hormonal birth control for the last 11 years, without fail. Even before I was married, the pill (now, it's DEPO) was always taken, and a condom was always used

Now I'm married to a wonderfully pro-choice man. I've been on DepoProvera about 8 years now, and about a year ago, we had a pregnancy scare (I just felt...weird...and the only thing I could think of was being Ob). WE talked about what WE would do. He told me that whatever choice I made, he was fine with. I knew he's not ready for kids and I knwo *I* am not ready for kids. we're in a point in our life now where children just aren't an option. That's why I take my BC without lapses. WE knew that if I were pregnant, there was a 99% chance an abortion would occur. Again, luckily, I dodged the bullet and I wasn't pregnant.

Very very scary. I don't know how my boyfriend felt at the time, but all he expressed to me were feelings of resentment that he had to pay $150 for an abortion. I don't know if he was as scared as I was, if he understood the instant ramifications that pregnancy brings. To his defense, he was an 18 year old boy---hardly had the capacity (or desire) to understand what *I* was feeling. His concern was financial. Mine was much more than that. I don't think that ANYONE --- male OR female --- can ever appreciate the fear, anxiety, and just general feeling of UNKNOWN that goes along with a missed pill, broken condom, or late period. It's very scary, and I would wish it upon NO ONE

[bigwillq]

21. WOW! Are you a writer? If not, you should be.

Great details and a great build up. I didn't know what was going to happen! I was glued to my screen, slowly scrolling down to make sure I got every detail.

What a story.:hi:

[Heddi]

23. Thanks :)

I wish it was a tale I never lived, tho

[KG]

18. let's just all become republicans on the abortion issue, dems will

start to win elections like never before and all will be right with world! hooray! :eyes:

[mhr]

20. What's Sex?- Never Heard Of It - For That Matter What's A Condom?

Never heard of that either.

[SemiCharmedQuark]

22. Yes.

That is why I refeuse to cast judgement on anyone for the decisions they make. I grew up very anti-choice. But believe me, one scare is all it takes to make you realize just how tough a choice it is.

The condom didn't fit right, and I had also had some wrong ideas about when you could get pregnant. I took about 7 pregnancy tests waiting for the results beginning the day or so after the sex. I would sneak out of the window to go buy one in the middle of the night because I was worried out of my mind. The cruel thing about our bodies is that for some women extreme stress prevents their period. I apprently am one of these women. My period was already about a week late. I had chores to do in the meantime so I went to get the car tuned up. When I saw the bill, it was almost 500 dollars and I thought my mom was going to kill me. I guess not thinking about my absent period was just the break I needed because I got it finally. It was one of the happiest days of my life. Even today, I am still absolutely paranoid about sex and pregnancy. If I could, I'd have a hysterectomy, have my husband have a vasectomy, use film AND a condom and a pill.