I've Seen The Light

[LiviaOlivia]

http://thepoorman.net/gl/article.php?story=20050214161107130


I've Seen The Light
Monday, February 14 2005 @ 04:11 PM
Contributed by: The Editors

CORRECTION: Hacktacular White House reporter Jeff Gannon is not, in fact, a man-pimp, as we had previously reported. He is actually a self-pimping e-he-whore....The Editors apologize to Mr. Gannon for the error.

Everyone is still missing the point of the story. The story is not, as nitwits like Howie Kurtz maintain, that people are being mean to someone just because he's conservative. The story is not that Gannon is a hypocrite for promoting an anti-gay agenda. The story is not even that the White House gave such access to a reporter for a dummy news service operating under an assumed name, and may have used him to expose Valerie Plame. This is not the story.

The story is that God exists.

Think about it: what are the chances that a media whore like Gannon would turn out to be an actual whore? It's impossible. It boggles the mind how infinitely unlikely this is. It's like if you found someone pirating CDs, and it turns out he actually had a peg leg and a parrot on his shoulder and sailed around the Caribbean saying "arrrrrr!" and plundering booty. You wouldn't believe it. But there it is: impossible, but true. Impossible truths are miracles, and only God can work miracles. Ergo, God exists. Q.E.D.

The rest of the story is that God prefers his metaphors about as subtle as a David Byrne art concept or, equivalently, getting clocked on the head with a cinderblock. Yeah, "whore". It's a "big suit", David. We get it already. I think brainless plankton on Neptune get the symbolism here. Jesus.

[murray hill farm]

1. I believe...

that there are no miracles, just coincidences....but then i also believe that there are no coincidences...just points in time where one needs to pay very close attention. This, as you point out...is certainly one of those times.

[merh]

2. LOL - who ever wrote this has a very good point!

Is it poetic justice? Karma? You betcha!

[Clark2008]

6. Kickin'

:kick:

[Toucano]

3. That's great!

Thanks.

[Grey Ranks]

4. What an age we live in

even pimping is automated.

[Clark2008]

5. This has GOT to be one of the funniest things I've read all day!

The CD pirater with the peg leg and the parrot sent me over the top and now I'm twitching on the floor with carnal laughter! :)

Next, we'll have a well-planted troll on DU who turns out to be four-feet tall, with scraggly hair, a large proboscis, warts and green skin!

[merh]

7. You mean those nasty little naysayers that attack our candidates

for being flip floppers or worse don't really have green skin and warts? You could have fooled me. :shrug:

[immoderate]

8. Thanks Livia, that was FUNNY!

--IMM