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lala_rawraw Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-14-05 10:58 PM
Original message
Okay, that is it!!!!
Quick question: do you think people on your own side, working for your cause should be smeared non-stop by their own? I have been pretty quiet about what has gone on, but I am near going bonkers. I have always respected my side enough not to discuss this publicly and I continue to do so, but I do not know how much longer I can stand these jerks smearing me, insulting me, etc. I am really quite upset! Sorry, had to vent.
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cheezus Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-14-05 10:59 PM
Response to Original message
1. are you calling someone out?
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AuntiBush Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-14-05 11:01 PM
Response to Original message
2. I'm lost!
Nothing new on my end, but could you explain just exactly what it is that you're upset about? We could probably be of more help to you if we knew "exactly" what it is. Just a thought:)
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merh Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-14-05 11:03 PM
Response to Original message
3. You lost me too!
Could you explain the rant, please!
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lala_rawraw Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-14-05 11:05 PM
Response to Reply #3
5. I can't
Call out this group of people because they are on our side and I don't want to attack anyone. That said, the people may post here as well (and I am sure they do) and it would cause friction if not all out insults and smearing.

I will tell you via email, in private.
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merh Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-14-05 11:12 PM
Response to Reply #5
9. okay.
thanks!
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UdoKier Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-14-05 11:03 PM
Response to Original message
4. If it makes you feel any better...
I've never heard of you, so if someone's running a smear campaign on you, it's not getting that much attention...
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lala_rawraw Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-14-05 11:06 PM
Response to Reply #4
6. thanks
Edited on Mon Feb-14-05 11:09 PM by lala_rawraw
I think:)

Actually, I don't think most people have because otherwise it would not make sense, given that I am fighting on our side of the fight. Either that or they are just trolls. Let me just say that it had, a few weeks ago, gotten to the point where I was going to quit because I lost faith in the people I am supposed to be helping. We cannot continue to eat our own kind. It has to stop! That is why I will not publicly discuss the situation. I did need to vent because frankly I am really fed up.

anyway, thanks :D
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crispini Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-14-05 11:19 PM
Response to Reply #6
11. Peace, and
Never speak ill of a Democrat -- in public.

That doesn't mean you can't take it offline and Rip It Up. If it weren't for my local activist friends and that little Thai restaurant we frequent after meetings and the cheap wine they serve there and the incredibly catty bitch and vent sessions -- I couldn't keep up this activist stuff.

As it is, it keeps me sane. Plus, it's a bonding activity. ;)
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linazelle Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-14-05 11:50 PM
Response to Reply #4
17. LOL...very funny nt
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0rganism Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-14-05 11:07 PM
Response to Original message
7. The Circular Firing Squad is the new Democratic symbol, doncha know?
Edited on Mon Feb-14-05 11:07 PM by 0rganism
The donkey logo was getting a little worn out around the edges, so the DNC is going with Circular Firing Squad.
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Pepperbelly Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-14-05 11:07 PM
Response to Original message
8. what in the world are you talking about? nt
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paineinthearse Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-14-05 11:16 PM
Response to Original message
10. ?
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bvar22 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-14-05 11:21 PM
Response to Reply #10
12. Can we nominate posts...
...for "MOST IRRELEVANT"?
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lala_rawraw Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-15-05 01:51 AM
Response to Reply #12
26. Sure...
Does this one count at the high end of the spectrum?
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ohkay Donating Member (286 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-14-05 11:24 PM
Response to Original message
13. Well, I don't know
what you're talking about, but I don't agree with everyone on everything on this board. We all have out own interests, pet causes etc etc.

So, if you want to start discussion, I'd be more than happy to play. One of the bigest problems with this board is the lack of disent.

With disent come better understanding of all sides of an argument.
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bear425 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-14-05 11:25 PM
Response to Original message
14. Hi lala, take it easy and check your PM.
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WilliamPitt Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-14-05 11:25 PM
Response to Original message
15. You're from RawStory, right?
Getting tagged for pursuing the gay prostitution angle instead of the Valerie Plame angle?
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housewolf Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-14-05 11:28 PM
Response to Reply #15
16. That'd be my guess...
That, plus that there's important legislation being worked on that we're ignoring?

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lala_rawraw Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-15-05 02:30 AM
Response to Reply #16
27. Yes, HR 418....
I spent at least a good 48 hours writing thread after thread and calling everyone and their mother. I wrote an article on it and sent it to everyone I know. That Gannon article is one article, but god, it overshadowed everything else we reported in the last 48 hours. And I did not even write it. That is why I never touch sex stories. Blah, :(:(

Actually, this is funny. I was supposed to go on Ed Shultz to talk about 418, but then he wanted to talk about 9/11 or Gannon. The former I would not touch; too personal. The latter I would not touch either. He would NOT talk about 418. So I wrote little snips of explenations, in hopes that he would get it out to the public. Nope... if it is not a huge sex scandal, no one wants to know about it. In the meantime, the real story (plame)is killed. I still think this whole thing is a honey pot.

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Maddy McCall Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-14-05 11:57 PM
Response to Reply #15
19. Raw Story...
Ugggg.
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lala_rawraw Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-15-05 01:04 AM
Response to Reply #19
21. what does that mean?
Raw Story UGGGG?
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lala_rawraw Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-15-05 01:01 AM
Response to Reply #15
20. Okay....here goes....
Yes... there are only two reporters at Raw. The rest are columnists. John and I are the only reporters. I am an associate editor and writer for the publication (will run away after I finish the below)...

I never touched the Gannon story. I still feel it was too obvious (and I see what is becoming of it now) and I generally don't like sex scandals. That was John's story and Mike Rogers as well, both of whom are excellent journalists and both of whom are openly gay.
That said, this goes far back.

A while back there was a rumor about a Dem leader making its round, as such things do. The people at this particular forum are eager to destroy any Dem who does not fit a particular mold. Now I am all for open discourse, but character assassination of people on our side of the isle is not productive, especially when it is based on rumor. I posted that this particular thing was not true. I knew it was not true because I spoke with the Communications Director for that person, whom I have found to be pretty honest with me in regard to such matters. At that time I was working on the Clermont sticker story (not sure if you know it, but Google it). It was a really stressful piece because of the number of sources and the amount anxiety they had regarding their safety and/or livelihood. This particular article may have shed some light as to why Kerry resigned, at least I thought it might. In any case, I felt that the obvious non-stop attacks on Kerry were not necessary, given that no one really knew what happened. Not that I knew either, fully, but the article gave me a sense of what the whole story might have been. At the time, I could not explain why I felt as such, given that I was still working on the story. So I simply wrote a positive, wispy sort of thing just asking people to stop the firing squad circle and focus on issues. Apparently on that same day another story broke about a person who (I don't know what happened because the violent response overshadowed any explanation) somehow verbally attacked this particular group. I don't know if the anger spilled over to me, but the reaction was unreal.

I was treated like I had landed from Falwell's bloody camp with a swastika on or something equal to such warrant such a reaction. The personal attacks went beyond even your typical bashing. Then a few members of the group (some of whom have actually apologized since and stopped posting at that particular forum) drew pixel suicide pictures of me and really just humiliated me on a level I thought I could never experience from people I don't even know. Now, what most of them knew or maybe not, is that I have MCTD (I pretty vocal about it and about raising awareness and such). It is a rare form of Lupus which has elements of RA and Scleroderma. On that day, the suicide drawings were not merely the boiling point. It was what followed after, which I cannot get into because it went beyond me and included my editor. We never spoke of it publicly. Then odd things started to happen... my articles were no longer posted and if they were, they were automatically slammed. Insults still floated around. Hate mail arrived from the supposed progressive members of this forum.

I was invited to a meeting about Social Security; a sort of War room meeting. Everything was fine until I was suddenly, oops, forgotten about. One particular person felt it was okay to report our work without crediting us. It went on and on. We said nothing about it. We kept it private.

Now also around this time I had started working on OSPA because the AP had taken my story as their own (not the first). When I phoned the AP national desk, I was told that they did not credit non-AP members. I pay for my own research and I make little money, if any in order to work in a manner I feel to be ethical. The AP has not only access to resources but the reporters also make a solid living. Taking my story was akin to taking food out of my mouth, in my opinion anyway. The point is, I was so angry, that I decided that the AP had to be bypassed if we were to reclaim integrity as a pillar of journalism.

This was months ago, the AP thing that is as well as my project. I had finally managed to work out the plan and such, which is why we issued the press release the other day regarding OSPA. So these people, from this particular forum, decide that I have stolen their idea, lol. I even get an email demanding that they be on "the ground floor." Okay, I am still silent. Still not publicly discussing it.

Today a friend of mine sent me two links of threads in that forum. The insults were not as horrid as before, but they were still insults. Now, I have spoken with my editor because I am really and quite frankly sick of this bashing. We again agreed that we will not dignify it with a response. Then I got a third link. That was the end of my calm. As you can see, I am still trying not to attack anyone, but I cannot continue being bashed by the right on a daily basis as well as the left. I cannot do all of this alone you guys. I cannot report, structure OSPA, be sick, fend off the wingnuts, and also have to fight off my own supposed "side."

I am certain John will not be happy that I posted even this much. At this point, if I don't get some of this anger out of my system, I will simply quit altogether. So that is why I am venting, cryptically, but venting. I know even this is vague, but I honestly do not like publicly taking one another down. I will say this: people ask why the MSM is not reporting, they will complain and bitch about it relentlessly. Yet the people who are reporting are par for the smear course. So what option do we, in indie press have, if the MSM ignores us or worse steals and distorts our work; the right smears us; and the left smears us?

This is why one by one we are silenced. I can take on the wignuts... I don't care. I can circumvent MSM and do my work, even paying for it. I don't care. What I do care about is that the people I am doing this for show at least some level of respect for me, just even as a human being, if not of value in any other way. That is all I ask. Apparently that is asking too much.

Anyway, hope this addresses my rant better. Sorry I cannot say more. I just cannot.


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crispini Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-15-05 01:21 AM
Response to Reply #20
22. Hugs for you....
:hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug:

And let me buy you a drinky: :beer:

And a general comment to offer-- at the moment, for me, IRL, there's an unusual amount of infighting going on in my neck of the woods. I find that the only way I can deal with this sort of thing is to be sort of cold and philosophical and pretend that it's all a Spanish soap opera.... sort of emotionally distance myself from it and see the whole thing as melodrama, even though I'm in the cast.

I can't do a damn thing to change what other people think about me and what I do, but I *can* not care, and I *can* not let it affect my own work and my own self-image.

another :hug:

~ peace,
C
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lala_rawraw Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-15-05 01:36 AM
Response to Reply #22
23. The problem is...
I care about the people on my side of the isle, well actually I care about humanity as a whole, but that is neither here nor there. If I did not care, I would not be doing this. I would be finishing my my poetry to meet my deadline and/or actually work to make some money so I can pay my bills.

If I block off the caring element, then I lose the drive. I am compelled because I care. That is why the right does not penetrate me. The left, however, is where my passion is. In fact, the left is frankly the only ethical island left. I hate to use directions when speaking of such matters (left, right, top, bottom). So if I stop caring, then I really stop caring.

Okay, and this is going to sound corny and a bit selfish, but I am who I am. I noticed that because I was so focused on getting the truth out, the physical pain of my illness was less noticeable somehow. Usually, I would write for a few hours and then sleep all day because the pain (joint pain is truly hellish) was so bad. I was blessed with allergies to all pain killers of any worth. So sleep was my only option and writing. My writing before was decided on how I felt and I would work around that.

This passion to move the truth through has kept me working 16-18 hour days with little pain. I cannot feel it. Focusing so much on everyone else has become my pain killer. I know that sounds odd, but I don't feel like I inhabit my rickety body anymore. Crazy, I know. It makes sense only to me. The point is they have become intertwined: I care so I am compelled and when I am compelled my pain is less. Anyway, that is the selfish part:( By the way, please do not on any level see this as a pity party. I laugh at my illness endlessly and I expect people to laugh with me.:)

Anyway, I feel a bit silly now having waxed emotional and fragile all over the place. Going to run away and nap. :freak: <---- me
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crispini Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-15-05 01:42 AM
Response to Reply #23
24. Yeah, but who are these people
who are upsetting you and is their opinion worth caring about? I'm not saying stop caring totally -- not at all -- just be careful whose opinion you let in to your heart. Some people's opinions aren't worth giving a rat's ass about.

Anyway, :yourock: Sleep tight! :hug:
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lala_rawraw Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-15-05 01:45 AM
Response to Reply #24
25. I know...
I get cranky sometimes and feel all fragile. I just get it soooooooooo much from the right, good god and their freeper threats. It is just nice to know that "my side" has my back... if that makes sense?

Eh, I feel stupid really for getting upset.
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housewolf Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-15-05 03:06 AM
Response to Reply #25
28. Some of here have your back....
and care for you as much as you care for others.
:grouphug:


If there are more ways we can help, please let us know... feel free to PM ...


Some days you just want to :argh:



Thank you for telling us as much of your story as you were able to. I see why you are with "Raw Story" - what with the "raw deal" you are in the midst of!

I'm sorry you're having such a tough time of it right now, hope you feel a little better.
:yourock:



Oh, and welcome to DU - I see that you haven't been here very long but have racked up a bunch of posts in a short time - Thank you for all you have contributed here and elsewhere. We're glad you are here!

:hi:
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Andromeda Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-15-05 03:59 AM
Response to Reply #20
29. Please take care of yourself,
and if that means changing your line of work, then do it. It's not worth your sanity and your health.

Try to ignore "other people" because as likely as not they are full of it and are probably just malcontents who aren't pleased by anything or anybody. Don't internalize their crap because that's just what it is. THEIR crap.

Try to get more rest, think peaceful thoughts and take care of yourself. There are more people out there like us, than like "them." :) People who don't show you respect don't respect themselves and probably wouldn't know what it means to actually get a compliment or give a compliment to anybody else.

They're not worth it, sweetie. Do what you think is right and don't worry what anybody else thinks. We have a lot of people on "our side" who are just as bad as any wingnut I've talked to. We're not monolithic and we're not all cut from the same cloth.

What I said before --- take care of yourself. It's important because stress can make any auto-immune disease worse. They're just not worth it, lala.

Peace,
Andromeda
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goodhue Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-14-05 11:55 PM
Response to Original message
18. keep up the good work
inquiring minds want to know
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EFerrari Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-15-05 04:15 AM
Response to Original message
30. lala, been there, done that.
So, you let off some steam in a safe place. Good for you.

Btw, it is possible to modulate a wee bit. You can care AND take an inner step back sometimes. (Sometimes, lol.)

People do really stupid things and then, they don't. They're really beautiful and then, they're not. In groups, even more so.

I'm glad you're here. I've read your work and appreciated it. Want to read more, so make sure that nap is a good one. Mostly, don't panic

:hi:

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