What world do YOU live in?

[nashville_brook]

I hear this phrase thrown around more and more each day. It's used to lament our loss of freedom, as in "it's Bush's world, we just live in it." It's used to discredit those fool enough to say out loud that they miss peace and prosperity. And most annoyingly, it is used to clobber us people over the head who refuse to live in constant fear.

Well, guess what. When I go to the store, I sometimes walk away from my cart with my purse in it. I do. When I walk downtown at night, I don't clutch my bag as if every person I see is going to snatch it. I talk to strangers. When my husband isn't looking, I don't turn on the house alarm. And best of all -- I refuse to lock my car door every single time I leave the vehicle.

This last one is why I'm rat-a-tat-tatting away on my keyboard this afternoon. I just got back from Belle Meade. If you're not familiar with Nashville, Belle Meade is where the old money dies. Al Gore bought a house out that way not too long ago. I try to avoid it, and it's pretty easy to do, except there's a decent appliance store located in them dandy old 'burbs, so once in a blue moon I take a drive thru Plantationville to drool over gas ranges. We all have our addictions. Mine happens to be appliances.

So, I stop at a gas station in this little community of four-million dollar addresses to fill up my rickety old Ford truck with the requisite Kerry sticker, and I notice the guy next to me in his freakin Cadillac SUV locked his doors while he pumped his gas. Made a point of it. Got out. Pointed his fob at the gigantor of a luxury truck (shouldn't that be an oxymoron?) and chirped it before he pumped his gas. I watched the whole thing in amazement. He did the card-slidy thing. Pumped his gas. And went straight back to the drivers seat -- chirped -- and got in and drove away.

I look behind me. I look to the sides. I see no threat to this healthy-seeming middle aged man. It's Belle Meade for crying out loud! The underclass out there still pull down six figures. You supposedly pay so much to live there so you don't have to live in fear of the poor, the non-white, those who went to public school.

Then I get it. It's me. I'm the threat.

So, I just want to know. What world does HE live in? Because on my side of town (where there are...shhhhh...black people), we don't feel we need for that kind of security. On my side of town, kids might blow up your mailbox from time to time with firecrackers, but hey, I did that too when I was a kid. On my side of town I can walk one block (at night, gasp!) and have a *selection* of some of the best soul food, BBQ and pizza (made by Russian immigrants, no less!) you'll ever get in Tennessee.

In my world, I try to keep the real and imagined fears separate. So I don't lock my doors, but I pray every night someone puts a stop to the madness in the Middle East. In my world it's better to talk to strangers than to live in silence. In my world, I love my neighbor, and I save my fear for my government.

[NewInNewJ.]

1. I'd much

rather live in your world, then in Bellmead, been there. Hang in there.

[bloom]

2. Your world sounds like a good place to be.

:hi:

[nashville_brook]

26. i try to keep the trash picked up

:)

[seabeyond]

3. i leave keys in car AND gave plumber a blank check yesterday

to fill in how much i owe him. i am that much, NOT afraid, lol

i hear ya

[Stop_the_War]

4. Your world sounds nice!

:yourock:

[murray hill farm]

5. It is true...every word u say...glad to hear someone say it.

I have never personally lived in a gated community, but most of my life...i have lived primarily in "that world"...and now, of course..everyone i know..including my children..do live in gated communities...cause it is "safer"...yeah,yeah,yeah...ha! When i moved to Mexico...i was pelted with how i would be killed by banditos, etc..hahahahahahaha! No...they dont have guns here...it is so safe. Anyway...every time i would return to the usa, i would have that reverse culture shock. Last year, my husband and i bought a little house in Brunswick, Ga...a tiny little house in as you say, a gasp..black neighborhood..hahahahaha! Surely i would be killed now...hahahahaha! Wonderful little neighborhood...everyone looks out for each other...and none of the paranoia..none...just pleasant and friendly...like i think things were...way back...when people didnt lock themselves in gated rich ghettos to feel safe...and you know...in my little Brunswick neighborhood..we have gardens..we actually grow food in them...and then share with each other..wow..such activities would never be allowed in those restricted gated communities. Fear and the paranoia you witnessed, is one of the many downsides to wealth....and the never ending need to hold onto it in order to feel "safe".

[nashville_brook]

7. oh, that sounds so coooool! mexico and GA!

the thing about these old neighborhoods -- they are inclusive of the outside world. we have FRONT porches. we watch the street. we know the kids. the sidewalks encourage walking -- WALKING! you can actually go out to eat and leave the car at home!

it reminds me of that passage in Bowling for Columbine -- where everyone is armed to the teeth inside of their gated communities. i think this comes after the great cartoon of the origin of the NRA. the only people to fear in those neighborhoods are your neighbors.

[txaslftist]

9. You've never been to Ciudad Juarez...

You untie your shoes and they'll be gone off your feet in about a minute.

[murray hill farm]

13. Ciudad Juares is no more representative of Mexico..

than its counterpart,El Paso...just across the border, in the USA is a representation of the whole USA. But, i agree...those large border towns..on both sides...are just hellish.

[elsiesummers]

6. I don't agree with your purse advice.

I was in Costco and noticed a woman eyeing another woman's purse in the cart. I think that if I wasn't looking a theft would have occured.

Also - a friend had cash stolen from her purse at the laundromat because she thought I was watching it (I wasn't - never occured to me).

Anyway - sort of reminds me of Christians and the rapture and that sort of "Jesus will take care of me" attitude - seems like it would be wise to take care of yourself rather than relying on good will of others or higher powers, IMO.

Maybe this is not a happy go lucky attitude - but I think we create our own luck - and being unaware of surroundings or leaving purse in a tempting location or not locking doors is inviting trouble.

[nashville_brook]

10. happy go lucky, NOT

i see someone going for my purse and they are probably going to get a whole lot more than they expected b/c i've got a lot of pent up angst from this ridiculous world.

on the other hand, what are they going to get? plastic. i'll have it telephoned in before they can swipe it at the gas station. driver's lisence? bad hair day. need a new one anyway. the bag itself? coach -- had it for years. i'll get another.

if they steal my car? what the hell am i paying insurance for.

i've made my decisions. life is too short.

[nashville_brook]

12. can you imagine how unworldly it would be to have someone mess

with your stuff in COSTCO? all you'd have to do is raise your voice and point and you'd have 10 soccer dads on top of the rapscallion in no time.

[elsiesummers]

14. Purse in cart in Costco...

This was the Costco in Queens.

Ok this was just two days ago. It was in the cold storage veggie section and this woman left her purse in the child seat while trying to reach for something up high. She was oblivious to her purse and a rather degenerate looking woman with no cart (no cart in costco is strange, don't you think?) walked over near the purse, then walked away when she saw I was looking. She didn't carry any veggies out with her.

Maybe I'm too much of a city person, but I really don't want to lose my purse, even if it has nothing but credit cards - it would cost something to replace even though it's just a cheapie from target with drug store make up in it.

I have to admit that having the purse on my shoulder while digging in the freezer case is a nusiance, but there you have it.

I also think this attitude has nothing to do with terror alerts (which are all nonsense, IMO) or general attitudes of good will of man (on that same trip I told a woman she had dropped her scarf and think someone else would do the same for me) and I've never lived in gated sorts of places and have probably lived in more racially diverse neighborhoods than most.

I just think being careful is smart. Also not good to place temptation in anyones way.

I leave my crappy car parked on the street in NY unlocked because the door doesn't work right, but keep the car empty and the glove empty. I have gotten in the car and found the glove box open but I know nothing was stolen because there was nothing there.

No point to invite trouble.

I think W's terrorism fear scam is a crock but that doesn't mean I shouldn't protect from petty theft. I don't think these things are necessarily related.

[murray hill farm]

17. I really agree with that point

If you dont, at least, keep your purse, etc. close and protected, then in a way you are responsible...and maybe even have encouraged someone to steal it...kids, for example...who might be tempted...but who whouldnt even think about it if it wasnt just left there unintended.

[nashville_brook]

20. well, it's not like i leave it in the meat section while i'm over in

cosmetics. but i don't keep it on my arm either. NOR do i (i love this) take my puse with me to the chinese buffet. jeez. that's such bad practice for life. think what does to your meal -- to spend half of it protecting your valuables, as if you are in danger. how do you even taste your food like that?

[murray hill farm]

21. Yeah..i do the same..ha

plus i dont think i like the idea of everyones purse bumping along the buffet..ha..ugh! I did mean that in a general sense...and years ago...when i lived alone in florida, i kept a gun in my drawer next to my bed...my kids gave it to me..for protection..ha! But i did not lock my doors ever...and one time i was gone and someone broke in and took cameras, jewelry and of course, the gun. After that, i felt such guilt and responsiblity for the fact that because of me..and not locking the door, that out there somewhere..someone had a gun...so that experience colors my view on the subject.

[lapislzi]

29. Nothing can replace common sense

I am cautious, especially in a strange city. I'm just not paranoid about it. You caught the gist of it with your comment about being aware of one's surroundings.

I will also assume my neighbor is trustworthy until he does something to show otherwise. Then all bets are off. On the other hand, I'm not giving him a map to where the family silver is, either.

[12345]

8. I love your story.

I used to live in Nashville, and would take great pleasure in driving up Belle Meade Boulevard to Percy Warner Park in my 1984 Land Cruiser with the dogs hanging out the windows.

I too lived in a different neighborhood where some of the neighors were black. When we made the mistake of befriending some of the local black kids, our wealthy white neighbors who were hell bent on seeing gentrification clean up the neighborhood invited themselves over to our house to complain. They actually called the police to complain! These were 9, 10 and 11-year olds! You might be a threat, but you're nothing compared to those kids.

And you know what. When our lawnmower was stolen, guess who saw the culprit and retrieved it for us. One of those "dangerous" kids.

[nashville_brook]

11. yep, the only place we ever had property crime was in west nashville

in a totally white neighborhood. we had a car stolen and set on fire (on thanksgiving!), a stereo taken from another car and a boat motor stolen.

my attitude is a decision -- actually a long line of decisions. starting with moving to the east side (to a *neighborhood*) and ending with acting like a neighbor and not a tourist.

[SmokingJacket]

15. You have the right attitude.

I know I might be taking a risk by not locking my car or my house -- but I prefer to live with a trusting attitude than a paranoid one. Also, I don't have anything I couldn't stand being stolen. Having expensive stuff just makes you nervous it's going to be ripped off -- that's no way to live.

A few years ago I lived in an apartment complex where we were warned not to leave our cars unlocked because homeless people might sleep in them when it got too cold to sleep outdoors!

As if it's better to go out in the morning and find some homeless guy frozen to death on your doorstep, but your car neat and clean?

[lapislzi]

16. I keep a spare key in the shed

Every repair person I have ever used knows where it is and how to get into my house if necessary.

In the spring, we leave the storm cellar doors wide open for days at a time to get the smell out. Is someone going to rip me off one day? Maybe. They are welcome to the crap in the basement; their need must be very great. They can come upstairs too if they want. The door's not locked.

At least half a dozen people all over town have keys to my house. I never lock my car. I also feel fortunate that I know the names of local business people, the librarian, the postmistress. I am not afraid of my neighbors.

Blind fear of the Other is born of ignorance. It can blind us to the threats that we really ought to be afraid of.

[nashville_brook]

25. that's the juicy center! keep people afraid of their neighbors!

and they will never cause you any trouble. they will never question their taxes or ask for any services, because they have no voice.

the postmistriss! i LOVE the post office! people are so friendly. when i lost one of my dogs they let me go around and talk to all the carriers before they went on their runs for the morning. so sweet of them! probably broke a rule or two.

we have the added benefit of our Mayor being an eastside denizen. he's a big new-urbanism fellow -- so we are not wanting for representation.

[ieoeja]

18. I live in Chicago

Which, it appears, is in your world. I walk up to the corner store leaving my front door wide open. The back door stays unlocked a lot of the time. This past Halloween I was amazed at how many people just left buckets of goodies on their front porch for trick-or-treaters to collect on the honor system while they were out with their own kids or just out partying.

And yet I know a LOT of people in the burbs who are afraid to visit me because my neighborhood is so bad. I noticed long ago that fact breaks along strict party lines. Without a single exception those who fear visiting my neighborhood are rightwingers. Also without exception those who do not are liberals.

And that is no hyperbole. I do not know a single gods damned exception to that rule among my suburban friends. I even like to argue with my rightwing friends about this. They don't deny it, they just say we are being naive and that they hope we survive learning our mistake.

I counter by smiling and calling them a bunch of pussies. I may not be winning anyone over to the cause, but I am having fun.

[nashville_brook]

19. i know exactly what you mean! people have a raised-eyebrow way of

saying you live in *east* nashville. as if it were beruit. or somehow valiant. what a courageous urban spelunker you are. but aren't you afraid of the crime?

it's an urban-suburban thing. urban neighborhoods are just socially healthier. you are outward looking to the street and not sequestered in your backyard (altho we do have a great backyard. saw a big Barred Owl a couple of nights ago while we were in the spa -- yeah, we're roughing it out here!).

i have often said that i know everything i need to know about someone by the way they say, "East Nashville." it's in the tone of their voice. you can't hide condescension.

in the interest of full disclosure, i did a bit of city managment in graduate school and studied neighborhoods. i know what works and what doesn't. i didn't just move here because the architecture rocks. i moved here because it's healthy. there's kids and sidewalks and public spaces. we have neighborhood schools where kids walk in front of my house every day; a golf course, a wonderful park, a greenway and the river. we are 5 minutes from town and we never have to leave the neighborhood to get a beer and a great meal. i'm talking, we don't ever drive on a non-neighborhood road. if you have one beer too many, or plan to, you walk.

[Dragonfly]

22. Your vividly descriptive prose about...

how you move about in your immediate environment rang a clear bell for me. I'm in southwest city St. Louis and feel basically the same. In the past year, vandalism-type stuff has ocurred for the first time in 8 years. However, most on-the-block neighbors agree that the perps were probably just wild people acting immaturely blazing thru our street out of control, never to come this way again; then, we returned to our status quo rhythms.

We are creating "pockets of sanity" in every urban setting. Interweaving this attitude with sub/ex/urban enlightened citizens and the rural-dwellers.... Presto!......we have stages built for even more progressive network harmony, hence collective action.

Thanks for conveying a good picture of your healthily communicative environments

[nashville_brook]

24. the "stages" for community networking naturally emerge in these settings

it could be a coffee house or a fave restaurant/bar. in our neighborhood we have a little five points and a great coffee roaster and organic market -- you can find info on just about anything you want to know about goins-on by checking the bulliten boards and talking to people down there.

there is no such thing in the 'burbs. try to post a bill about community action in a starbucks! ha!

[progressivebydesign]

23. I like your world...

I don't live in fear where I am. But.. still, I never leave my purse unattended.. that's for the security of my whole family.

[kittenpants]

27. great post! I've always been inclined to trust in the good of individuals

too. I think that is a difference between a light of us versus Republicans who are driven by fear... fear of "minorities," their neighbors, other nations... You name it, they distrust it.

[nashville_brook]

31. yeah, i was thinking about this today -- imagine how it makes people

feel to realize you fear them -- like locking your car door when you are at a red light and a homeless man is on the corner next to you. i've had people do that IN MY CAR. i've neverr been so embarrassed.

[adigal]

28. Really beautiful essay with powerful truths

You should edit it a bit and send it to some papers as an Op-Ed - also send it to NPR as a commentary piece.

You really made me think. Thanks.

[nashville_brook]

30. gosh, thanks!

i'm just starting to learn the ropes of sending material out for publication. i will keep NPR in mind.

[eek MD]

32. Alot of people live their lives with too much fear of others

Although, i have to admit, i HAVE locked my doors at gas stations before.........
However, when i do it, it's not because i'm scared of others, i do it just out of habit, and it's fairly rare...... (i don't really care if anyone steals my work van, i might get a couple days off if i didn't have any tools to do my job with).... =)

[nashville_brook]

34. when i'm traveling -- it's a diff story. times i DO lock my doors:

i drive down 75 to florida often to visit friends and see the "homeland." i always lock my doors when i'm traveling. but especially down that south GA corridor from atlanta to valdosta -- there's a reason they don't believe in evolution down there. :) i start to feel at ease again when i hit Brevard county.

if i have stuff in my car i lock my doors. i run around with the laptop and camera equipment quite a bit. i can't afford to loose that stuff. that falls under temptation. i don't tempt people. my practice of locking doors isn't absolute.



i have a story of my approach "gone wrong" and i'll post that soon. it's a pretty funny story. one of those times when "mother's advice" came in handy. have to go to the doctor in a few or else i'd post it now. the punchline is, if ever you have someone in your car and you feel threatened -- drive straight to the police station and honk the horn until the offender runs away.

[DU GrovelBot]

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