In 2001, I was a student in Milwaukee, on the evening of September 11th, for the first time in my life, I wept for my country, alone, on a bench near a flag that was flapping calmly at half mast. I had always taken that calm flag for granted. I realized that night, that it and those who protect it, had failed many of my fellow Americans.
Last year I had a unique opportunity. Being a student at American University in D.C., I went downtown, not to partake in any of the annoying misguided protests or triumphant warhawking patriotic rallies, but to grieve.
A lot of people told me I was nuts to even consider stepping foot near the National Mall given the Orange alert, national guard troops with automatic weapons, snipers on every roof etc. I toured the U.S. Capital, a tour which has become a waste of time. The people's house is now the government's hiding place. You get a short introduction to the rotunda, the old Senate meeting room with statues from each state, and just about nothing else.
I also went to the Corcoran Art Gallery, a block from the White House to visit an exhibit of photographs related to September 11th, 2001. The photos were mostly of people suffering. Others visiting were weeping, unable to stand, looking for something in the photographs that they would not find - comfort. The images from that day discover within each of us a fear we can't really deal with.
I found that patriotism is becoming synonomous with fear. 'Freedom from fear' was not only attacked, it was basically destroyed. The government explanations for this are hopeless. What's worse, there's no basis on paper for the actions of any Islamic radicals other than the Charter of Hamas. They make statements with the loudest possible voice, through violence. We have nothing with which we can study and understand the tragedy other than painful images and government lies.
What may become "Patriots' Day" could very easily be called "Fear Day." Sept. 11th is a reminder that we are fragile. Thomas Hobbes claimed every one entity is vulnerable, because it must sleep. Our administration and those who we trust to protect us were sleeping, we all paid and still pay the price for this. Though I can't boldy make that argument without condemming myself for thinking I too was invulnerable, for which I wept that evening. Any reminder of our mortality is difficult to deal with. This is how September 11th should be viewed by history.
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