Jesus Would Send All These Right-Wing Pseudo-Christians Straight to Hell

[Blue_Chill]

lol. Behold ye DUers, a non RW fundie link I found today. I thought I would share it because at the very least it is a good reply to give annoying RW Christians that spend their days damning us all to hell day in day out.

It also reads that liberals are going to hell with them if we don't get on the ball and do more. (Don't flame yet read that section first.)

My favorite quote: Jesus didn't say "I was hungry and you gave me a quarter." Jesus said the needy one was satisfied.

http://www.right-wing-pseudo-christians.com

I apologize to those of you offended by the issue concept of 'hell' or those of you that simply can't stand the sight of religion.

Thoughts? Read it before you flame me.

Disclaimer: I did not write this nor do I agree 100% with what it says. I am only sharing this and in no way do I claim that this represent my views entirely on anything.

Oh and whoever wrote this doesn't like Hannity all that much.

[ixion]

1. yep, without question....

n/t

[Name removed]

2. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[Blue_Chill]

3. Always smiles and sunshine aren't you sujan

you are just sooo cute! :D

[chiburb]

4. The site you link to is actually

Quite good and thoughtful. Too bad the voters of Alabama didn't see it before yesterday...
(And I write this a non-believer.)

[Blue_Chill]

8. Thanks

I'm glad someone liked it.

[LuminousX]

5. Nope. Jesus would forgive.

That is why Jesus is a liberal.

[Blue_Chill]

6. I agree

but to be forgiven one must repent. If you notice in the "what you do to the least of thee" quote the goats respond by asking what they had done. You can not repent if you are too full of yourself to see what you did wrong.

Then again I haven't enough knowledge to be certain of what I just wrote so let's call that the opinion of a fallen Catholic.

[RobertSeattle]

7. Right Wingers believe in Supply Side Jesus

Found this article on the guy who drew it (Was looking for the actual graphic)

http://www.pittsburghfirst.com/columnists/20030826tony0826p2.asp

[damnraddem]

21. Did you see Franken on 'The Daily Show'?

Fantastic. Stuff straight from the book, yes -- but the stuff in the book is fantastic. And Franken's Dubya aircraft-carrier walk is much better on TV.

[JVS]

9. Jesus saves.

It is our sinful nature that gets us sent to hell, not Christ.

[RobertSeattle]

10. Ummm, who set up "These Rules"

[Blue_Chill]

12. In theory Jesus did.

but can I prove that? No.

[JVS]

13. It's the christianity game

Think of it kind of like a type of Geometry. You begin with a certain set of Axiom's and Statements. (stuff found in the book, statements by Christ). People use these statements to derive more statements (Aka dogma) Sure, the whole thing might not be true in real life, but as an academic exercise it stands. Similar to Plato's theory of forms.

[Blue_Chill]

11. agreed

that's the point.

[StopTheMorans]

16. who gave us this sinful nature?

n/t

and btw, I've been enjoying the religion-free non-flame wars that have been happening lately, I was getting so sick of those damn religious (one way or another) flame wars about a month ago.

[Blue_Chill]

19. Who gave us this sinful nature?

My guess is Cindy Crawford. What? yeah like you never....forget it.

[StopTheMorans]

22. I did,

and you'll notice, I haven't started any flamewar threads lately either, have I? And did I ever start one? no, I just weighed in on them when I felt like people were being unreasonable:) Personal vendettas aside, haven't things been better lately without all that crap from EITHER side?:) I think so

[Blue_Chill]

24. You worry about a war

when there is no war. I shall not be flaming in this thread. Let all know that in this thread B.Chill shall use his evil sense of humor!

[damnraddem]

28. Oh remember: Adam and Eve ate that apple.

So now we all have sinful natures. But wait: if it's because A & E ate a taboo apple, then didn't they already have sinful natures?

Hey, all you have to do is posit that humans can make choices. Once there's choice, then all of good and evil will follow.

Old A & E ate from the 'Tree of Knowledge of Good & Evil' and then got kicked out of the Garden. Hey, it just says that they realized that they could make choices. 'OK, kids, you've grown up -- time to leave home and make it on your own.'

See, other conclusions can be wrought from the thoughts of an ancient civilization. That they were thought long ago doesn't mean that the thinking was stupid or lacked insight into the human condition.

[chiburb]

35. If they hadn't eaten that apple,

We wouldn't have designer clothes!

[JVS]

46. The apple was metaphorical

The point of the metaphor is that people started doing things that they knew weren't right.

But if you just want to exchange a bible joke, here's one. If Adam and Eve had two sons, Cain and Abel, how the hell did humanity perpetuate itself?

[Blue_Chill]

51. That's easy

There were people outside the garden. Adam and Eve is not a history of life, it is a story meant to exlain the first Christians. At least it is IMHO.

[JVS]

52. But the story pre-dated christianity by thousands of years

[Blue_Chill]

55. Ah good point

So perhaps it was the first <insert religion> people. Better?

[chiburb]

60. There is another possibility re propogation of the species...

But I don't want to REALLY offend you so I'll leave it to a sinner's imagination! (Two sons, one woman...)
Btw, I didn't tell a bible joke, it was a chiburb joke. I've got a million bible jokes, but in deference to BChill this is a flame-free thread.

[JVS]

67. Yep, that's the punch line you have there

but remember Cain killed his brother. The punchline is: what do you expect, Cain was a ---------!

[chiburb]

68. I'm sorry, I misread your post...

I didn't realize you were INVITING me to supply the punch line. I read your post as being 'sensitive' to my previous joke.
There are downsides to text messages...
:-)

[Blue_Chill]

49. Damn them

Damn them and that damn apple.

[JVS]

26. sinning is fun, we like fun.

On edit: Well, not always fun, but often easier than not sinning.

[Blue_Chill]

36. Often the fun

comes at the expense of society. Then again it's all about what you consider a sin. Some consider this thread a sin.

Oh well.

[damnraddem]

14. "I apologize to those of you offended by the issue concept of 'hell' ..."

Oh, what the hell!

But these fundies are as rigid as are others. They condemn UN objectives for not envisioning doing 100% good. The thing is that the UN objectives, and other sets of practical objectives (like Healthy People 2010) set up practical guidelines with timelines for achievement. The sentiment behind such plans of course includes the idea that it would be good to wipe out problems 100% -- but the practicality behind the plans acknowledges that problems can only be attacked a step at a time, and that it is better to have a measurable objective that can be reached than only a nebulous goal that cannot be.

[Blue_Chill]

17. So you don't like them

because they demand more people be helped immediately? Also what does your subject line have to do with the rest of your post?

[damnraddem]

30. I didn't say I disliked them.

I said that they were overly-rigid.

Some of my best friends are overly-rigid. Well, actually, some of my distant acquaintances. ;-)

And it's good that they uncover the hypocrisy of others, right or left. What I do object to is criticizing a plan to eliminate a problem in practical steps.

[Blue_Chill]

40. Then we agree

and so does the link I gave you. It says that if you object then you'd better be able to get more or an equal amount done...or you are going to burn like white man in Mexico.

[enki23]

15. my liberal jesus trumps your conservative jesus

"there is but one liberal god, and his name is allah!"

"my liberal vishnu can kick your conservative vishnu's ass!"

"oh yeah? well my conservative thor would smash you liberal pansies with his hammer of infinite justice!"

"my liberal clangeddin has blessed me with a holy avenger axe +8, double damage to republicans!"

"my god is a jealous god, visiting the iniquities of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of liberals who hate him, but showing mercy to the thousands of conservative christians who live him and keep his commandments!"

"i have a big penis!"

"the body and blood of christ carry both a blessing (for republicans) and a curse (for everyone else), and therefore we practice closed communion. except for godless liberals, who we encourage to dig right in."

"ten billion liberal angels dancing on the head of this kucinich button!"

"my conservative jesus will not be mocked!"

"father forgive the republicans, for they know not what they do. but send them to hell anyway unless they figure out what they do an heartily repent of their republican ways just before they die."

"oh my god, it's full of liberal stars..."

"thou shalt not suffer a liberal to live"

"pray not like the conservatives"

fnord.

[Blue_Chill]

23. Do you feel better now?

because all you are doing is ignoring the fact that my Super Atomic Nova Hurricane Jesus beats yours anyday. :P

[chiburb]

25. Or try this one on for size:

"God is on the road, along with Mr. Toad
they're looking for another planet
Christ is on a cross, he suffered heavy loss
and we're worshipping a piece of granite
Buddha's sittin' still, high upon a hill
he couldn't care one way or the other
Allah's in the bath, he doesn't want to laugh
'cause he's sick of tellin' us we're brothers "

"Ninety Two Years" by Shawn Phillips

(You can hear the song here: http://www.etsmtl.ca/pers/jboisono/shawnphillips/discog/index.htm

[Bandit]

18. Jesus would forgive

At least he said that was his style. Forgive those who tresspass.

[Blue_Chill]

20. Negative!

He was rather harsh with the greedy. But then again we don't know if Jesus was actually a guy or the personification of ideas.

[Name removed]

27. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[chiburb]

29. Good thing Hell..

Doesn't exist (except when Repukes steal elections)!

[damnraddem]

34. I swear there ain't no heaven, and I hope there ain't no hell ...

but I'll never know by livin', only my dyin' will tell.

[chiburb]

39. And I PRAY there ain't no hell...

But I got the joke anyway...

:-)

[Ladyhawk]

38. I'll get flamed for this, but I don't care.

Christianity is a lie based on pagan ideas that pre-dated the time of Christ. In fact, it's rather likely Jesus Christ never existed. The "hell" rule is to keep us all in line. That's why the right wing and Christianity go so well together. It's all power and keeping the people in line.

Research it yourself and just say no to religion. No more myth and superstition.

[chiburb]

42. You can't say Myth!!!! (Unless you lisp...)

Some people consider it rude, whether you're right or wrong. Where were you yesterday Lady?

[Blue_Chill]

47. I consider it rude

but I don't think it was intended as insult. So it's cool dude.

[Blue_Chill]

44. Question

Without rigid rules of conduct because an everything is ok society is self destructing. So who draws the line?

This is a serious question and I am not in anyway stating that your beliefs are wrong. I just wnat your opinion.

No flames in this thread please.

[Blue_Chill]

32. For the last time I'm not getting rid of

the cross. And what I said is what I believe if you don't like it go join Falwell in damning me to hell. Whatever makes you happy dude.

[Terwilliger]

43. but its blasphemy

dont you believe the bible is the word of God? Think the bible would lie about its central character?

[Blue_Chill]

48. To you it is To me it's not

Thou shalt not lie. And I didn't. I am not sure if Jesus was a walksing talking man or a collection of ideas that are personified in a story. The bible in my eyes is less a literal documented history and more a collection of stroies that are meant to teach us things.

So think what you like my dear Ter it is your right. :P

[Terwilliger]

54. thanks

thanks for admitting that the Bible is a collection of stories and that there is no "Christ" and no "God"

[Blue_Chill]

56. I didn't say that

You silly bastid. :D

[Terwilliger]

58. thats exactly what you're saying

the only legitmiacy the Bible brings to the masses is that6 it's unequivocally what happened and what's true

You say it's a book of stories, I say Christ and God are part of those stories

What's wrong with that?

[Blue_Chill]

59. I disagree

I have never felt the bible was literal, in fact that strengthens it in my opinion. It had to be able to explain complex notions to large groups of people. Stories are a great way to do that.

So I reject your agrument. We must agree to disagree here.

[chiburb]

61. A non-flame question please?

"It had to be able to explain complex notions to large groups of people. Stories are a great way to do that. "

Isn't that the point Walt was making all day yesterday?

[Blue_Chill]

63. Are you talking about the myth thing?

Myth implies that something is false. God is not a made up fictional character to me. Walt didn't accept the fact that myth had more then one definition.

[chiburb]

64. Walt was defining myth as story...

That the collective could relate to; as a way to "understand" the indescribable (but knowable). His point was that ALL gods are myth by that very definition.
Your post re the bible being stories that you can relate to seemed (to me) another way of saying just that.
If I'm wrong, no offense...

(Btw, check out the 4th stanza of post 62. I think you'll like it.)

[Blue_Chill]

65. I see what you are saying

but the problem is myth carries a sense of 'bullshit' with it.

The bible is a myth = The bible is bullshit.

That's the problem. I understood what Walt was saying but he was ignoring the implied meaning of the word.

[chiburb]

66. Now go see post 62, 4th stanza. You'll like it! n/t

.

[Blue_Chill]

69. lol!

:D

[damnraddem]

31. Sure, Jesus would forgive tresspassers ...

but Jesus' guard dogs and razor wire were still tough on them.

[Blue_Chill]

33. lol

that was good!

[Terwilliger]

37. your mocking Christ and think of yourself as Christian?

[Blue_Chill]

53. I like Ice cream

do you?

[Name removed]

71. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[ProfessorGAC]

41. "If Jesus Saves. . ."

". . .than he better save himself.
From the gory glory seekers,
Who use his name in death!"
Jethro Tull, Hymn 43

How perfect is that lyric?
The Professor

[chiburb]

45. I STILL think this is perfect for the whole subject:

"God is on the road, along with Mr. Toad
they're looking for another planet
Christ is on a cross, he suffered heavy loss
and we're worshipping a piece of granite
Buddha's sittin' still, high upon a hill
he couldn't care one way or the other
Allah's in the bath, he doesn't want to laugh
'cause he's sick of tellin' us we're brothers "

"Ninety Two Years" by Shawn Phillips

(You can hear the song here: http://www.etsmtl.ca/pers/jboisono/shawnphillips/discog/index.htm

[Blue_Chill]

57. Very good.

I like it!

[Terwilliger]

50. Get up, Stand up

Get up, stand up: stand up for your rights!
Get up, stand up: stand up for your rights!
Get up, stand up: stand up for your rights!
Get up, stand up: don't give up the fight!

Preacherman, don't tell me,
Heaven is under the earth.
I know you don't know
What life is really worth.
It's not all that glitters is gold;
'Alf the story has never been told:
So now you see the light, eh!
Stand up for your rights. Come on!

Get up, stand up: stand up for your rights!
Get up, stand up: don't give up the fight!
Get up, stand up: stand up for your rights!
Get up, stand up: don't give up the fight!

Most people think,
Great God will come from the skies,
Take away everything
And make everybody feel high.
But if you know what life is worth,
You will look for yours on earth:
And now you see the light,
You stand up for your rights. Jah!

Get up, stand up! (Jah, Jah!)
Stand up for your rights! (Oh - hoo!)
Get up, stand up! (Get up, stand up!)
Don't give up the fight! (Life is your right!)
Get up, stand up! (So we can't give up the fight!)
Stand up for your rights! (Lord, Lord!)
Get up, stand up! (Keep on struggling on!)
Don't give up the fight! (Yeah!)

We sick an' tired of - a your ism - skism game -
Dyin' 'n' goin' to heaven in - a Jesus' name, Lord.
We know when we understand:
Almighty God is a living man.
You can fool some people sometimes,
But you can't fool all the people all the time.
So now we see the light (What you gonna do?),
We gonna stand up for our rights! (Yeah, yeah, yeah!)

[chiburb]

62. Wow Ter! Check this "ism" song:

For 8500 years it's churning
the wheels of gore have not stopped turning
are we gonna have another century of war?


The force on both sides doesn't balance
the fear of each keeps away alliance
to terrible sounds of suffering at the door


Flagrant conflicts of conceptions
the art is gone of kind exception
have we gone insane
do we really want to cry for more?


If a man wants to live in country splendor
in God's creation green and tender
who are you to tell him you think that that's a bore?


Any man can do whatever he wishes
life is sacrosanct is the only ism
we're telling you to stop before you get to war

"8500 Years" by Shawn Phillips
Can hear it here: http://www.etsmtl.ca/pers/jboisono/shawnphillips/discog/index.htm

[Boudicea]

70. Go Ter -- one of my all-time favs.