I'M FOR SALE or, "The Ballad of Jeff Gannon" | sorry Cole Porter!

[nostamj]

I'M FOR SALE or, "The Ballad of Jeff Gannon"
(to the tune of "Love For Sale" with profound apologies to Cole Porter)

FOR A WHITE HOUSE PASS ON MY BULLDOG NECK
I'LL IGNORE THE FACTS, LET THEM GO UNCHECKED
IT'S A BIZ I'VE BEEN IN BEFORE...
I'VE SOLD MY ASS

TRUE MY MAN DATE WORK WAS TOUGH ON THE KNEES
SO I ASKED: CAN I BE A JOURNALIST PLEASE?
AND MY JOHN GAVE ME HIS SMIRK...
I WENT TO WORK

SPIN FOR SALE
RHAPSODIZING BUSH SPIN FOR SALE
SPIN THAT SELLS YOUR LATEST LIES
SPIN STRAIGHT FROM MY MANLY THIGHS
I'M FOR SALE

BUY MY PRIDE
IF YOU SEEK DISTRACTION, I'M YOUR GUIDE
ON THE FLOOR AND START TO BARK
JUST IMPRESSIONS, NOT A MARK
I'M FOR SALE

LET THE LIBRULS FLING THEIR POOP
IN THEIR LOSER WAYS
IT WON'T GET THEM IN THE LOOP
LIKE MY BOYTOY DAYS

IF YOU PAY YOUR WHORE ENOUGH
THEY'LL DELIVER FLUFF OR ROUGH
ONLINE, ON CUE
EVERY WORD IS UNTRUE

I'M FOR SALE
MILITARY ROUGH STUFF FOR SALE
AND WHEN SCOTTY CALLED MY NAME
WE'D JUST WINK AND PLAY THE GAME
I'M FOR SALE
I'M FOR SALE
I'M FOR SALE.....

[nostamj]

1. geez... tough room!

[bleedingheart]

2. very good...

so many talented people here on DU

[nostamj]

3. thanks! maybe it will make my next book!

[Tansy_Gold]

4. You gotta get someone to record this. . . . .

. . . .It's too good for just text.

[nostamj]

6. thanks T_G!!

but I'm WAY too busy working on my new business!

www.jeffreymatson.com

but... if it's still in the news, it will make my next political cabaret revue... THE MARCH OF FREEDOM!

:hi:

[KittyWampus]

5. What An Imagination! I'd Love To See It Sung In Costume Though

[nostamj]

7. well... use YOUR imagination!

;-)

and thanks!

LOTS more here:

[nostamj]

8. kick!

for snarky humor

[Andy_Stephenson]

9. Oh...you're bad...however when you are

it is soooooo good.

A

[nostamj]

10. hee hee...

haven't done one in a while. this just HAD to be written.

and, since the original song is about a HOOKER... it was a natural!

[Andy_Stephenson]

12. Yes...

yes indeed.

Do I see a new show in this? I can see it now Republiporn.

[nostamj]

13. Brooks and I are writing a new show

tentative title: THE MARCH OF FREEDOM

got four new tunes in progress.

here's another parody:

THE SUNNI SIDE OF THE STREET


GRAB YOUR GUNS AND IEDs
THERE'S A CONVOY MOVING NORTH NOW
WE'RE NOT THROWING SWEETS
ON THE SUNNI SIDE OF THE STREET

CAN YOU HEAR THE LUSCIOUS RUSH
OF THE MISSILES AIMED AT YOU NOW?
DEATH IS NOT DEFEAT
ON THE SUNNI SIDE OF THE STREET

WE USED TO RULE UNAFRAID
WITH SADDAM, A PARADE
SO, PASS A GRENADE

TO THIS URGENT
INSURGENT

BUSH HAS GIVEN US A CAUSE
AND THE MEANS TO MAKE IT HAPPEN
NO NEED TO RETREAT
FROM THE SUNNI SIDE OF THE STREET

WE USED TO RULE UNAFRAID
WITH SADDAM, A PARADE
SO, PASS A GRENADE

TO THIS URGENT
INSURGENT

OCCUPATION WILL NOT HOLD
'CAUSE WE'RE FIGHTING FOR OUR OWN LAND
EXPOSING YOUR DECEIT
FROM THE SUNNI SIDE OF THE STREET!

[nostamj]

11. one more....

[0007]

14. Here's one sung to the tune of "Beautiful Dreamer"

Robert Lewis Stevenson famous song.

Born in a whore house
raised like a slave

fucking and fighting
are all that I crave

Knocking out windows
knocking down doors

Calling George Bush
A Chicken Shit Whore!

[Tansy_Gold]

16. Uh, no, that's Stephen Collins Foster

Robert Lewis Stevenson wrote "Treasure Island."

[0007]

20. Thank you for the correction!

[Cleita]

15. Thanks for the memories.

And thanks for the laugh. :-)

[nostamj]

17. you're QUITE welcome!

very glad you enjoyed it...

[nostamj]

18. one more recommendation?

please...

i'll give you TOONs tomorrow.... :shrug: ;-)

[nostamj]

19. i hate you all

[nostamj]

21. one in daylight...