Childhood sexual abuse and homosexuality

[steve2470]

I was out to dinner the other night with an intelligent, well-educated professional lady, and somehow we got on the subject of homosexuality (we're both straight). This is not flamebait and I don't believe this, so please don't flame me. At any rate, she said out of all her "homosexual friends" (all male I believe), she said 100% of them had been sexually molested as boys. She said a causal link exists there between their abuse and their sexuality. Again, I DON'T BELIEVE THIS, but I want to hear the research if anyone cares to spend a moment. If no one replies, I'm still not going to believe this, being of the neurological link school.

[Stop_the_War]

1. I'm gay and nothing ever happened to me....

That lady is lying.

[jmm]

2. Does she have enough homosexual friends

to compose a proper research study? How close is she really to these men? Her holding this view and being her friend with them would be like me counting these two among my friends.

[steve2470]

3. that website is too crazy lol you make a good point nt

[WilmywoodNCparalegal]

4. All my friends

who are homosexuals come from well-adjusted loving two-parent families, without anything hinting of abuse.

Maybe there's a causal relationship there? (*sarcasm*)

[kiraboo]

5. I spent a few years as a hairdresser (don't ask!)

and most of my friends during that time were young gay men. We often talked about homosexuality and the "nature vs. nurture" argument. None of the guys supported the "nurture" stance. They all reported being attracted to other males from their earliest memory - that it was difficult and confusing, and that sometimes they wished they did have a choice because being gay isn't easy in our society. I do find it interesting but not necessarily relevant to anything that of the three or four lesbians I have known well, two of them claim to have been straight at one time. One woman was raped and never went near a man again. Does this mean anything? I have no idea.

[Misunderestimator]

6. If anything, childhood sex abuse might cause one to despise homosexuality

in oneself, or even turn a gay boy into a straight-living adult because of it. If the sexual abuse was not abuse, but two boys of the relatively same age experimenting, then it would be just that... two boys experimenting with sex, and chances are they might turn out to be gay.

Since the majority of sex abusers, rapists and pedophiles are men, with their victims being women, men, boys and girls, it doesn't make sense to point to only one of those victim groups for any causal relationship between that childhood abuse and their adult sexuality.

Abuse in childhood is manifested in endless ways as an adult... but I have not seen a pattern among homosexuals having more abuse than heterosexuals, and I don't see the correlation.

[Dirty Hippie]

9. My ex (from many years ago)

was sexually abused by several men as a child.

He is a raging homophobe.

[Gyre]

7. My observations

I've prosecuted hundreds of sexual assaults on children, some of whom are now adults. While I don't believe there's any strong evidence of a causal connection between being SA as a child and homosexuality, there is a LOT of anecdotal evidence that being sexually-molested as a young child will tend to warp a persons self-image particularly as it comes to their and others sexuality. That "warping" presents in lots of different ways, but the one thing I can say with certainty is that such an experience results is a consistent tendency on those past-victim's part to victimize children in the same way, that they were, when they're adults. My belief is that there are lots of variables in the equation: age of victim when molested, the relationship w/ the molester (ie, was there a "position of trust"), and level of awareness of the parents of what was going on at the time (ie, "failure to protect").

Gyre

[KittyWampus]

8. When Sex Is About Power-Men See Homosexuality As Hyper Masculine

It has nothing to do with sexual identity.

It's about power or control of others.

So there are men who practise homosexual sex not because they identify themselves as homosexual but because they wish to exert power over other males.

This is a small subset of those who engage in homosexual behavior.

You'd find variants of these dynamics in the wealthy elite, prison inmates and Muslim countries.

Child molesting and sex as a power trip just isn't about being gay.

[Walt Starr]

10. Although I won't go into details, I guarantee you there is not a causal

relationship.

[charlie]

11. Ask her

if there's a hidden epidemic of women molesting girls, and why haven't we heard about it. I presume that's how she thinks lesbians are made.

[seabeyond]

12. two gay brother in laws

nothing happened to them. another friend, abandoned by mother at 5 at day care, but no sexual abuse.

only three gays i know history.

so i would say your friend isnt right

[mommajo65]

13. Not true

I am gay and it's not true.

[Straight Shooter]

17. Welcome to DU, mommajo65

:hi:

[newyawker99]

29. Hi mommajo65!!

Welcome to DU!! :toast:

[Straight Shooter]

14. Your friend needs a bit more education. She is so off the mark.

I don't know how many homosexual friends she has. Three? Five? Ten? I also don't know why they would all confide that sort of information to her.

I've only been on a close friendship level with three homosexuals, and every one of them had a fairly normal family, and no sexual abuse.

People choose to be homosexual the way they choose the color of their eyes. It isn't something "done" to them; it's what they're born with.

[K-W]

15. She is the one who needs to provide research

for her outrageous claim. Is it possible that some gay people are gay because of abuse, yes. Does that account for all gay people. Hell No.

[Warpy]

16. What a truly bizarre belief!

That old chestnut has been around almost as long as the "mothers turn their sons into homosexuals by showing them too much affection" garbage, but not quite.

There are subtle neurological differences between gay men and straight men, but that might be one of those chicken/egg things. The latest thinking is that the hormonal environment in utero may determine it. Other people are desperately trying to find a "gay gene," but without success, although they announce having found one frequently.

I don't think the process of assigning blame or absolving it does anyone much good. I don't presume to understand anything about being gay. I just know that it exists, and my job as a human being is to accept it.

[utahgirl]

18. No

I have a gay son and a gay brother. They were not molested by anyone. It's genetic or maternal stress during pregnancy. She may have gay friends who were molested, but that did not determine their sexuality.

utahgirl

[seabeyond]

21. i havent heard maternal stress in preg., i have heard runs on

maternal side, and the more boys female has the more likelihood of gay.

so it is in mother in laws genes, (the woman carries genes) she had four boys. the two oldest are not gay, the two youngest are.

read it somewhere and works in their family dynamics

[Misunderestimator]

22. WHAT?!? Genetic or maternal stress causes gayness?

I truly think I've heard everything now.

[Occulus]

23. There was a recent study done in Europe which suggests

homosexuality may be related to increased levels of 'fertility' hormones present in the mother's body or the womb (I'm unsure which) during pregnancy.

If there's a genetic component that encourages homosexuality, it's likely not one gene but a combination of genes acting together.

[utahgirl]

24. asdf

I believe my awkwardly worded sentence left a wrong impression. Gayness is a result of genetic factors or maternal stress. The stress findings were from studies done after WWII in Holland and Germany. I don't know if there is any current research on this. Genetic factors have been discussed frequently. I also learned this in college anthropology.

utahgirl

[steve2470]

19. I think an important bit of information is that she tends to

associate with Christians who lean toward fundamentalism. I have noticed that some fundamentalist Christians like to "recruit" gay people who have "converted" to heterosexuality and then talk about their "brokenness", whatever that means. So, this may explain the extraordinarily high percentage of sexual abuse amongst "her sample". Her friends may be trying to "convert".

[ultraist]

33. "Homosexualilty is due to being damaged as a child"

Therefore, these damaged individuals need to be "healed" (ie converted to heterosexuals).

That is what the friend is saying. You are right, that's fundie fucked up thinking.

[pansypoo53219]

20. ok, i don't know anything really

but could their homosexuality when they were kids made them better/easier victims?
their 'difference' making them stand apart?

this just popped in the head. i don't have any gay friends. but i have come in contact with many.

[justiceischeap]

25. What no one seems to mentioning

Is that the amount of children that are molested is astounding. With that said, I'd guess that many homosexuals, male and female, have been sexually abused but so have many straight people. I don't think being sexually abused is an indicator of sexuality, it, unfortunately, is a fact of life.

[QC]

26. No one ever diddled me hen I was a child

and I'm pretty damn gay.

I would say your friend needs to get out more.

[Rowdyboy]

27. Neither my partner nor I exeperienced and sexual abuse as children

I can only think of two gay men I've ever known who told me they had been molested...two out of dozens.

[sffreeways]

28. And what about Lesbians

I've been out for 23 years and nobody ever laid a hand on me. She's full of shit and listening to the typical idiocy. There is no more a link between homosexuality and child molestation than there is a link between masturbation and blindness.

If you don't believe it why post this tripe ? Simply research it yourself rather than offending and upsetting people. This stuff pushes buttons for crying out loud. Tell me would you ask a similar racial question and expect not to be flamed ?

Most child molestation is committed by straight white males on female children. Maybe she's got a problem she needs to get some therapy for.

[ultraist]

32. exactly, 2/3 of SA victims are females and MOST molesters are hetero males

The OP friend's opinion/misconception, is a by product of the myth that most male pedophiles are Gay.

The facts are the facts, these myths are created to perpetuate hatred and violence toward homosexuals. The right wing stink tanks and religious groups distort research to support their culture of hate.

[steve2470]

34. sorry if the post offended, I was only trying to get evidence...

Of course, people can always ignore my posts :-) Trust me, when she told me that, I was thinking, what millenium are we in here ? I have NEVER believed that crap. One day I'll tell her that in polite terms. The reason for the post, besides idle curiosity, is that I am a mental health professional who comes into contact with many gay and "fundamentalist" patients, so I like to have my facts straight when I confront people who believe this s***t. Thanks for taking your time to further my education and help others, honest.

[NashVegas]

30. I Believe For Some There's a Link, But NOT CAUSUAL

First, you have to think about what a pedophile is looking for: an easy mark who won't tell.

A kid who feels isolated or "different" and isn't getting his or her emotional needs met, nor information about sex from their family is about as easy a mark as they come.

Because most sexual abusers of children were, themselves, sexually abused as children, they know exactly what characteristics to look for - they empathize with their mark. It's that empathy that helps gain a child's trust.

FYI, I and my best friend (both of us female) were going around conducting similar polls back in the '80s. She lived in San Francisco at the time and also found a 100% rate among those she asked. Doesn't mean it's that way across the board. It could just have been a matter of natural empathy, like attracting like.

[ultraist]

31. Scholarly research contradicts your friend's anecdotal examples

http://www.leadershipcouncil.org/Research/Rind/male/male.html

Myths About Male Sexual Victimization

Adapted from a presentation at the 5th International Conference on Incest and Related Problems, Biel, Switzerland, August 14, 1991.

Myth #1 - Boys and men can't be victims.

Myth #2 - Most sexual abuse of boys is perpetrated by homosexual males.

Pedophiles who molest boys are not expressing a homosexual orientation any more than pedophiles who molest girls are practicing heterosexual behaviors. While many child molesters have gender and/or age preferences, of those who seek out boys, the vast majority are not homosexual. They are pedophiles.

Myth #5 - Boys abused by males are or will become homosexual.

While there are different theories about how the sexual orientation develops, experts in the human sexuality field do not believe that premature sexual experiences play a significant role in late adolescent or adult sexual orientation. It is unlikely that someone can make another person a homosexual or heterosexual. Sexual orientation is a complex issue and there is no single answer or theory that explains why someone identifies himself as homosexual, heterosexual or bi-sexual. Whether perpetrated by older males or females, boys' or girls' premature sexual experiences are damaging in many ways, including confusion about one's sexual identity and orientation.

Believing these myths is dangerous and damaging.

So long as society believes these myths, and teaches them to children from their earliest years, sexually abused males will be unlikely to get the recognition and help they need. So long as society believes these myths, sexually abused males will be more likely join the minority of survivors who perpetuate this suffering by abusing others.