Gannon, SpongeBob, and the Homosexual Underworld

[BuyingThyme]

February 6, 2005 -- Talon News

In a hard-hitting exclusive interview with Washington Bureau Chief Jeff Gannon, SpongeBob SquarePants comes clean about his ties to the homosexual underworld.

GANNON: Mr. Pants, thank you for taking the time.

SQUAREPANTS: Hi Jeff!

GANNON: It has been alleged that you have been living a lie. Some say that you, in an effort to forward an anti-Christian social agenda, have been using your television show as a propaganda front. How do you respond to these charges?

SQUAREPANTS: Is this about the sea sponge thing?

GANNON: Sea sponge thing?

SQUAREPANTS: Are you mad at me because I’m a bath sponge, but choose to portray myself as a sea sponge?

GANNON: No. I want ask you about your views on homosexuality.

SQUAREPANTS: Oh, you mean Bill O’Reilly?

GANNON: What does Bill O’Reilly have to do with anything?

SQUAREPANTS: Isn’t he the loofa-sponge guy -- with the vibrator?

GANNON: Yes, but I really wanted to talk about you – about your lifestyle.

SQUAREPANTS: But I’m a bath sponge, living as a sea sponge. I’ve never even seen a loofa and I’ve never met Bill O’Reilly.

GANNON: Let me put this right to you – are you a homosexual?

SQUAREPANTS: No. I ‘m a cartoon character. I live in a pineapple under the sea and my best friend is a starfish.

GANNON: But are you parlaying your television successes in an effort to forward a covert political agenda?

SQUAREPANTS: No. I’m just doing the job I was hired to do.

GANNON: So you’re ready to admit that?

SQUAREPANTS: I think so.

GANNON: Thank you for coming clean.

SQUAREPANTS: Thanks Jeff!

[Kerrytravelers]

1. laughing...too...hard...to...catch...my...breath....

if only I had better health care, I could laugh hard like this all the time!

[immoderate]

2. I'm surprised he didn't ask

if he was moonlighting as a contraceptive.

--IMM

[uppityperson]

3. I had this thought when the SpongeBob issue came up.

Wondering if the problem was the "sponge" part of the name, being too graphic for the poor little kiddies "mommy, why's that little sponge in the wastebasket?", "it's ok sweety, just a preborn sponge"

[jeff30997]

4. I wonder...

Who at the White-House considered Gannon sponge-worthy ?

[nookiemonster]

5. The guy lives in a friggin pineapple under the sea.

How bad can he be? :eyes:

[BuyingThyme]

6. separated at birth?

[FreedomAngel82]

7. LOL

Too funny. :D