Talon News Announces Its Sabbatical (MST3K)

[Plaid Adder]

Hey, look! Talon News is down.

Because I know some of you may be confused by the strangely nonsensical gibberish they've put up there, here's their message, with my interlineal translation:

The recent public focus on Talon News, while much of it malicious, has indeed brought some constructive elements to the surface.

See, when we put this site up, we really didn't expect anyone was gonna look at it, so we didn't really spend that much time designing it. But some of our hate mail had great suggestions for how to spruce things up. Thanks, Revolutionary Army of Liberal Death Bloggers! You're gonna love our new look!

It has also brought many kind messages of support, and for that we are extremely grateful.

We'd especially like to give a shout out to our biggest fans: Jerry Gilbert, Jon Gomer, Jay Gunther, Jorge Gambon, Joe Green, Jupiter Gremlin, and Juckert Games. You guys are the best!

In order to better serve those readers across the country who enjoy Talon News content and look forward to receiving it each day, we feel compelled to reevaluate operations in order to provide the highest quality, most professional product possible.

We are currently consulting with our lawyers about how much of this stuff is liable to end up subpoenaed, and whether we could be arrested for 'accidentally' setting fire to our server.

Thus, Talon News will be offline while we redesign the web site,

Now that our cover is blown, there's not much point in producing new 'content.'

perform a top-to-bottom review of staff and volunteer contributors,

Tops, please get in touch with the bottoms as soon as possible to schedule your review. Collections, please remember not to take the negatives with you when you are soliciting your 'volunteer contributions.'

and address future operational procedures.

We are currently trying to decide whether to hightail it for Tijuana or Uttar Pradesh. Please vote in our online poll.

We look forward to bringing an even better product to our readers in the future.

We hope the next over-the-hill rent boy we hire to be our mole in the media is a little more on the ball.

C ya,

The Plaid Adder

[Cooley Hurd]

1. *snarf* - that's pretty much it, PA...

I seriously doubt they'll be back, though.;) Their brand name is tainted...

[theorist]

21. Oh, they'll be back after they move to Russia and start GOPUSSR. n/t

[Divine Discontent]

28. OVER-THE-HILL????

woh woh woh.... are you saying I'm too old to be a rent boy?

[bryant69]

2. Oy. You said it.

My guess is they won't reopen, and in less than a week, a new site will open up.

On the other hand, if the Right Wing decides to make Jeff Gannon a celebrity (of "the persecuted conservative" type), he might stick around.

Bryant
Check it out --> http://politicalcomment.blogspot.com

[Inland]

3. Somebody must have asked themselves---

What would a real news organization say when taking down their website?

[Pab Sungenis]

17. True. Very true.

Even when places like CNN or MSGOP did perform a complete overhaul of their sites, it was always done "in the background," with the old look and feel remaining until the new one had been perfected.

[SemiCharmedQuark]

4. lol

Jupiter Gremlin...excellent.

They're probably combing the middle schools for new talent.

[Why Syzygy]

5. *meanwhile*

refer to RNC taling points for *news* coverage.

They took the words right outa our mouths.

Ut oh ..

[joeybee12]

6. Yuk-yuk! Anyone with a brain realizes this is the end--they ain't coming

back!

Oh, wait, the people who actually thought it was a legit news service don't have brains! They'll be trying to link to them until the Second Coming, which, according to the Fundies' calendar is next June!

[ClintonTyree]

7. Awwwwwwwww, "Taliban News" has shut off it's server.....

MORE people out of work. :eyes: Well, not really, they were all volunteers anyway. Can you imagine the work involved in shutting down such a well read and large operation such as Taliban News? Someone had to press the power button, whooo! A fake news organization is now a defunct fake news organization. Now there are only a few thousand more to go. :toast: Let's get busy!

[ClintonTyree]

8. Nominated for "greatest" or "home" page.

n/t

[Ian David]

9. Is anyone gonna back-order the domain name? eom

[Plaid Adder]

10. Hmmm. That's one for Ask the Administrators!

Oh, the things you could do.

I have seriously thought about buying www.vipernews.com and setting up my own 'news service.' It'd be amusing, if I had the time.

C ya,

The Plaid Adder

[gratuitous]

11. Sweet, sweet schadenfreude

Hee, hee!

[Raster]

12. Hi, I'm Senator Rick Santorum. I'm not a buttfucker, but if I was....

...I'd want Jeff Gannon to do me and Talon News to report it.

[wryter2000]

13. Dang, PA

Are you going to come over here and clean the coffee off my screen?

:yourock:

[gatorboy]

14. Thanks for putting a smile on my face.

Great post! :D

[Number9Dream]

15. Needed that laugh!

Thanks Plaid Adder... needed that laugh.
The reference to (Mystery Science Theater 3000) went over my head, however. As a fan, would you please explain?

[Plaid Adder]

16. MST3K

It just means that I'm doin' to this PR what the bots would do to a movie.

C ya,

The Plaid Adder

[hippiechick]

18. OMG ! That is priceless !!

PlaidAdder, you are awesomely funny !!!


:yourock:

[Cleita]

19. Hehehe!

You've got a way with words. :-)

[theorist]

20. I love you, Plaidder!!!

You're so freakin' funny. I'm glad you come out of hiatus every now and then to toss a little jewel our way.

So are you writing a book, or something? (PM me, if you can't share here.)

:yourock:

[MarianJack]

22. What He Said, Adder,...

...IN SPADES!!!!! :toast: :bounce: :thumbsup: :hi: :loveya: :headbang: :yourock:

[theorist]

23. I've just got to kick this!

:kick:

[DuaneBidoux]

24. Man can that Adder translate!!

[chiburb]

25. I miss you. n/t

[KoKo]

26. Too Funny! Thanks for the big howl on this....needed that!

:D

[Mayberry Machiavelli]

27. The should've used the cute "under construction" .gif, a cute classic...

[BrklynLiberal]

29. LOL. Thanks for the great 'translation'.

[PATRICK]

30. Initial fun

Please add a real JG Jason Gastrich, another exposed hit man on religious fronts who also used the gay card in e-mail attacks. This guy is also real and unfortunately much younger than the current JG exposed.

[sendero]

31. You so funny...

... and ya know that in all humor their is a grain, or a boulder, of truth.

[Virginian]

32. Oh Plaid, You are such a good translator.

Thanks for the humor.