Here it is... just what you've been waiting for...HANNIDATE!

[Windy]

as discussed on Center for American Progress! Have a look at all these wonderful, funloving conservatives just waiting for the narrowminded, kool-aid drinkin' love of their life!!

http://www.hannity.com/gallery/Hannidate2005?page=1

[Goldmund]

1. I don't get it -- what's the big deal?

[Career Prole]

2. Ohhh....oh nooooo....

BWAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

"So, where do like minded conservative people meet each other? On Hannity.com, naturally. I am a 35 year old male from the Seattle area. I have a great life full of family, friends, two of the greatest girls in the world whose custody I share equally with my ex, and a great job that I enjoy immensely..."

But his life lacks something. He probably hasn't gotten laid since Bill Clinton was president. Help him, Hannity! :7

[LiberalinNC]

3. What a bunch of losers!

Hannidate - should be more like pukeidate! :puke:

[Justitia]

4. You. Must. Be. Joking.

Dear God, did you read some of those write-ups?
I thought, "I hope this is from The Onion".
I don't usually say this about people, but what a collection of losers!
Egads. Has my species always mutated like this?

[0rganism]

8. "Has my species always mutated like this?" Yes, but...

...now the mutants are mostly immune to the forces of natural selection. The results after a few generations of unrestrained inbreeding will be terrifying indeed.

[Hatalles]

5. 12 pages and not a single non-white personal.

I'm so shocked. :eyes:

[Justitia]

6. guess they just aren't that desperate and pathetic, huh?

HANNIDATE is a collection extraordinare of societal flotsam.

[ryan_cats]

31. LOL

I guess he won't be having an alternative lifestyle section soon. That would be interesting to see someone post something along those lines.

[WoodrowFan]

41. did you notice

how many seem to point out that they're white, like it's not blindingly OBVIOUS>

[ryan_cats]

51. Town of Stepford

Or it could be Maybarry BFD.

...I'm a white supremist, oops, did I say that? Looking for Aryan, I mean another of my 'type', I mean my race, oh hell, you know what I mean, only whitie need apply...

I didn't have the courage to go through the whole site.

[Windy]

7. Frankly, it might be fun to submit a really nutty one

(not that the ones there aren't nutty) and see what kind of responses you'd get back. :freak:

Just thought the site would bring a bit of levity to DU..

[Hatalles]

12. That's a good idea.

Anyone willing to try and post one past the filter?

[tishaLA]

24. That's the first thing I thought, too

It'd be great to see whatg you can get away with over there with the Hannitized. I'd love to say dirty dirty things to them.

[Spike from MN]

52. I thought of the same thing

but it might be hard to top the ones that are already there. But you never know until you try. ;)

You definitely succeeded in bring some levity to not only DU but most of my workplace. I've been emailing the link around and everyone is having a field day with it. One guy thought the pic of Gary was so funny that he decided to use it as the background on his Windows box. ROTFLMAO! Yes, you really brightened up the day for everyone here by posting the link. Thanks for the great laughs!

[dutchdemocrat]

9. Frightening

Name: Gary
Email: goffill@???????
Location: OH
Age: 32




I live close to Dayton, Ohio. I am a 32 single white male. I am a smoker. I weigh in at 170 and stand at 5'-11" Dayton has a lot of liberal women which I am tired of dating. Help me find a republican woman. Below is what kind of describes myself in a nutshell I am a mature, responsible, stable, independent adult.

I live on my own. I have a job. I enjoy going to movies, walks in the park, camping, NASCAR, cuddling and intellectual conversations. I am a funny person and enjoy making people laugh. I am a smoker. I can be sweet and thoughtful. I am weight proportionate to height. Some find me hot, some not. You decide.

I have good morals and values and I am of a conservative nature. I like the outdoors and nice weather. I would like to see the USA in my truck and camper and would like someone who would enjoy doing that too. I make good decisions or try to. In my spare time I enjoy working on the restoration of my truck. I have all my teeth and brush them.

I have been told that I am a nice guy; you will have to decide for yourself. I am not looking for “just friends”. If I was, I would go to my buddy’s house and hang out there and drink beer. What I am looking for: I am looking for these types of qualities in a woman. A mature, responsible, stable, independent adult. This person must have a strong heart, mind and soul. This person must have a level head on their shoulders and can make good decisions.

Must be a good communicator. I enjoy conversation. A person with good morals and values. Someone who has goals and dreams in life. Someone with a good job, .no fast food workers, pizza deliver drivers, cashiers.. I am not into high maintenance women.Someone who is simple, but has class. Someone who is of a conservative nature, especially fiscally conservative.Someone with good credit and low debt.

I am not paying off someone’s charge card debt where they bought some fly lookin rims and stereo for pimpin out her ex-boyfriends ride. Someone who isn’t a control freak. Good personal hygiene and has all their teeth and no rotten black teeth. I see this way too much and I find it a turn off.Must live on their own and must keep their place clean. I don’t care for drama queens or people with hidden agendas.

If you do, I will find them.

I do not wish to meet people who have mental or depression problems. Must have decent transportation. I am not a mechanic nor am I buying this person a car. I am not funding someone’s education either. I would prefer this person to have a college degree. I would prefer someone who is a smoker, since I am on too. That way I don’t have to be asked to quit or I taste like an ashtray.

Then too who really knows what an ashtray tastes like. I don’t know too many people who lick ashtrays…lol. Must be weight proportionate to height. Someone who is not a nagging person, but who is a happy upbeat person and likes to laugh. Someone who is sweet with a warm heart.

Someone who is energetic and not lazy. Someone who likes to go out and do things. I’m not into women who get into sports. I don’t care for sports except NASCAR.

Thank You.

http://www.hannity.com/gallery/Hannidate2005/bodyshop_004

[Johonny]

10. Is it possible

to find a simple women to have intellectual conversations about NASCAR? What is a simple women? Are ther complex ones that come with the Kung Fu grip? Just pull the lever in the back.

[Emboldened Chimp]

14. Yes, you can, but they usually have rotten black teeth...

[lolly]

13. What's the obsession with teeth?

If you have to tell us you brush your teeth--or even inform us that you HAVE teeth, do you not realize what a crowd of losers you're hanging with?

[PA Democrat]

50. Someone should email this guy as a prospective "date" along with these

"self photos".

[alarimer]

19. What a catch

He brushes his teeth!

[Spike from MN]

21. Sounds like a real winner.

I don't know about you but I'm always impressed with a guy that is 32 and has to list that he "lives on his own" at the top of his posting. Apparently it's a relatively new thing for him. Oh, and he also felt he had to list that he brushes his teeth. That must be something new also. I'd swear the site is a satire but unfortunately I'm afraid it's the sad truth. Oh man. Where DO they find these people?

Here's a few nuggets from some of the other posts:

Jay: "I enjoy getting off at a random subway stop..."

OK, not fair. I took that one out of context. It just struck me as funny, especially with the recent Ganon/Guckert scandal. Sounds like something JG would have on his website.

Lynda: "I enjoy volunteering for Republican Candidates and various charities."

Aren't they one and the same?

Lori: "A very important factor to me is HONESTY."

A Bush supporter that values honesty. Uh, is it just me or does anyone else see a contradiction here?

Mark: "I have no children, but I love children (not as much as Micheal Jackson though!)."

Translation: "I'm a closet pedophile." Mark also states that he loves his president. I think he means that literally.

Ray: "In short I'm trying to find someone to enjoy, enjoying life with. I know that may sound a bit generic, but in all reality, I'm not trying to set standards so high that there's no one able to fill them."

Translation: "I'm desperate. Anything that walks upright will do."


OK, I'll stop now. This is just WAY too easy.

[FreedomAngel82]

34. If he's looking for

intellectual conversation with a republican I guess he likes his "yes" women eh? Just like his dear old W. :eyes: And no he is not good looking. Sorry. Not my type.

[Spike from MN]

11. That's hilarious!

I only looked at the first page but this is my favorite:

"I'm A conservative republican White male 52 years of age . Gainfully employed Despite the fact that I live in the Liberal strong hold in the Pacific North West in the State of Oregon. I voted for my President GWB. I was born and raised south west of Buffalo N Y In Hamburg. I drive an SUV. I'm A Christian and believe in the creator I am in sound mind and body and would love to find a woman that has a like mind and same out look of life. I believe that Sean Hannity is a great American and Allen Colmbs needs a brain transplant."

This guy can't even write! Luckily he's looking for a woman that has "a like mind" so at least they won't be ruining two families. Looks like it's time to grab some pics off the web and submit a few ads. Damn, what was that pro-Shrub site that was the freeper's response to www.sorryeverybody.com? I didn't bookmark it but as I recall they had some real classic pics on that one.

[Hatalles]

16. Missing?

I thought it was www.werenotsorry.com, but that seems to be offline now. I did find this site though. :)

http://www.weisnotsorry.com/

[Spike from MN]

18. Thanks for the link.

So maybe the people at www.werenotsorry.com took down the site after discovering they were sorry after all. Looks like www.weisnotsorry.com is a parody. It's pretty funny.

[monobrau]

15. HOTT

Teh Mark:
http://www.hannity.com/gallery/Hannidate2005/scan

[Cats Against Frist]

17. Why do I have a feeling that a really low-burning mental

spark and religious self-help and drug-addiction programs are behind many of these posts?

I'm still trying to figure out the "converts," -- the ones who used to be "hippies" (drug addicts), who have abandoned the liberal lifestyle for conservatism (dogmatic, 12-step program propaganda), and embraced the lord (psychological framing for lack of belief in oneself, i.e., an excuse for relapse).

[Gabi Hayes]

20. three Hannity hotties for the price of one

[Edgewater_Joe]

22. "I'm 45, Still Live With Mom, And Wonder What A Girl Feels Like."

"HANNITY RULES!"

As a friend of mine once said: "There's somebody for everybody in this world - and isn't that a frightening thought?"

[paineinthearse]

23. Too funny....

Is this where that new hot couple (Mann Coulter & Ron Silver) met?

These people are pathetic!

I love this country and I support our President. I saw him three times this past year, twice on the campaign trail and once at the inauguration. I cried when Reagan died...one of my favorite books is "I love you, Ronnie" - Ronald Reagan's love letters to Nancy Reagan. I want the kind of love that Nancy and Ronald Reagan had. I am a hopeless Romantic looking for a kind hearted fun loving, Christian guy who is willing to stand up for what he believes in and doesn't mind a strong, well educated, conservative, Christian women by his side.

Don't you mean "under his thumb"?

&

I'm 41 and have never been married. I work in Customer Service in Lansing, Michigan. I also have a background working in computer information services. I am a conservative Christian who enjoys reading, movies, going out to eat, staying in, and singing in the church choir.

Gee, I wonder why?

How do I join (not)?

[tishaLA]

25. I want a Hannidate!

And I ain't kiddin', neither!

[Not_Giving_Up]

26. This cracked me up...

snip

My name is Michele, and I am a semi-retired RN, currently working in Queens, living in West Hempstead> (Right next to Franklin Square where Sean lived.). I am a loyal Hannity fan and conservative voter, ever since 9/11. I am divorced . I am trying to meet up with a single, available and interested ,conservative male in the metropolitan area. He should be between 56 and 67, and a non-smoker, and light user of alcohol.My goal is to find a lasting harmonious relationship. Having a common value base together ,such as political ideals , goes a long way to stabilizing a relationship. Activities that I enjoy are movies, dancing love and romancing. I enjoy working out at the gym, jogging, cross country and the ocean beaches in the summer. I enjoy all travel It is wonderful of Sean to provide this opportunity to us single conservative folk in this otherwise BLUE area.

end snip

She's been a Hannity fan and conservative voter ever since 9/11...so she was scared shitless, and Hannity was her answer (along with GWB of course!).

What the hell is "dancing love and romancing"? doesn't sound very conservative to me! Looks as though she needs some grammar assistance!


So, Hannity is providing a place for the paranoid to come together and mate. Nice....Gearing up for the draft?

[FreedomAngel82]

35. I noticed something a lot of them

have in common. They're mostly all divorcee's!!!! So I wonder how long these relationships will last eh? Especially one over the internets and long-distance. I know sometimes they can work out but I know it's tough.

[powergirl]

27. THIS PROVES THAT DEMOCRATS ARE WAY BETTER LOOKING THAT REPUBS

What bunch of doofuses. Yikes! Some of the pics remind me of the registered sex offender mugshots that are printed in the newspaper. Are these people screened for criminal background checks? Or do you get to be on Hannidate a la James Gannon - show up and give the fascist salute. :evilgrin:

[bleedingheart]

28. Lookeee....a Rebounder....

http://www.hannity.com/gallery/Hannidate2005/leo

you can listen to him go on and on about how he wants his ex back...

oh you single gals...don't you want to just help him forget that he wants his ex-wife back....???

[Spike from MN]

30. Yeah, and notice that he's 40

but he's looking for a chick that's 25 to 35 (though I'm sure he would settle for someone 18 or younger) to help him forget about his ex. I'm willing to bet Gannon in a wig would suffice.

I swear this is absolutely the most hilarious site I have seen in a long time. And I regularly search out the humor sites so that's saying something. I'm still having a bit of a hard time believing the site is genuine.

[PaDem]

29. I love the one that says..........

I am divorced and have traditional family values. Priceless.

[FreedomAngel82]

36. LOL Too funny

I didn't know a divorce was a family value. According to the Bible the only way someone can have a divorce in the Church is if it's Biblical like adultry or abuse etc. Not just because you "don't love them anymore" and things like that. :eyes:

[GregW]

32. Somehow, I know if I go there to look, I'm going to find ...

GOATSE!

[cap]

33. ya know... they all hail from swing or liberal states...

not too many posts from OK, IN etc.

[genieroze]

37. Wow, a dating service for the anal retentive. eom

[Toucano]

38. Ellaine is about to pull a Janet Jackson.

Name: Ellaine
Email: [e-mail]
Location: IN
Age: 41

I am best summed up as an Old School (Conservative) Lady with a Passionate Side! Have been divorced for a while now and am ready to venture on and find that special man to share laughs with - hold hands with, go on night walks, cuddle with and grow into a romance with. I am as loyal as a puppy, but don’t yank my chain…LOL I am pretty fun loving, silly at times, kind, warm friendly person. I enjoy talk radio shows. I am a patriotic soul. I appreciate the splendor in simple things, a child's laugh, the beauty of falling snow, taking a walk on a hot summer's day in the rain. I am willing to relocate for that special one.
----------------------------------------------------

So that's what an "Old School (Conservative) Lady" looks like! Who knew?

I can't tell if she brushes her teeth or not. It's a gamble on that one. LOL!

[Binka]

40. Ellaine Put Yer Fucking Shirt On Fer Fuck Sake

"a child's laugh, the beauty of falling snow, taking a walk on a hot summer's day in the rain. I am willing to relocate for that special one."

What a rip off artist that is straight off a Hallmark card. Barf. If she is this big on top (check out her right arm my fucking thigh is thinner than that) can you imagine how big her ass is? YIKES!

[applegrove]

39. Did you say: "HAND DATE"?

[WoodrowFan]

42. Hannity Sex (from Pandagon)

Hannity Sex (from Pandagon) What is a "Hannity-style romance", exactly? Wouldn't it just be really angry masturbation with someone else watching on and weakly challenging your technique as you scream at them?

[rooboy]

43. Finally, a place for David Berkowitz to post his profile n/t

[Beer Snob-50]

44. gee no, single male looking for same!

also noticed noone of jewish descent.

[blueblitzkrieg]

45. Wow, that is too much!

Incredibly lame but incredibly funny!!!

[WoodrowFan]

46. a lot of them are just sad.

A few are laughable, but most are just kind of sad notes from lonely people.


There are a few gems in there though. I caught this line froma woman in Kentucky...
"I strongly believe that we shouldn't buy vehicles made in a country we've fought in a war. (You won't be seeing anything but Chevys in my driveway, thank you.)"

[Spike from MN]

47. Why isn't our children learning?

I think I found part of the problem. From one of the ads:

Laurie: "I'm you're basic middle school teacher."

Unreal.

[KayLaw]

49. Dear God!

Let's hope she works at a private school!

[MadHound]

48. Geez, what a sad pathetic bunch of lifes' losers

Very high percentage of divorcees, and amongst the singletons, average age seems to be around forty. This is just a sad commentary on the romantic live of the rabid conservative.

[sldavis]

53. Wow... that was sad

but so painfully funny!

[otohara]

54. LOL

perfect :evilgrin: