Help? My son was called a "Dirty Jew" at PUBLIC school yesterday and

[in_cog_ni_to]

ended up punching the kid that called him that. They were playing basketball in PE and the kid started shoving my son. My son shoved back and that's when the kid called him a "dirty Jew." The substitute teacher was going to be sending a note to the principle and my son will probably be called to the office today.

This isn't the first time these names have been thrown at him. He's the ONLY Jewish kid in the entire school and has been called endless nasty names. We told him to not take it anymore. He took it and took it and took it. When he was younger we told him to tell the teacher when he was called names. That didn't stop it. We talked to the teachers and the principle in all of his schools. That hasn't stopped it. So, last year my husband told the principle of his school (a different school same district) that if he and his school couldn't/wouldn't protect our child we were giving him our permission to defend himself and his religion. If that entailed fighting for it, he had our blessings. Well, he defended himself yesterday and now I'm SURE we will get a phone call today. Fighting is not allowed, of course. What the hell are we suppose to do? This shit NEVER stops. He's constantly tormented by bullies about his religion.

Have any of you ever had to deal with religious bigotry at school? There is not a Jewish support system there because, as I said, he's the only Jewish kid in the school and probably in the district. My heart breaks for him. Should we tell THIS principle the same thing? If he can't/won't stop the names/bulling then our son has the right to defend himself?

Also, when he has to take Yom Kippur and Rosh Hashanah off from school, he's counted as "absent" and it's not a holiday like Christmas is. :( We had a conference with the Superintendent of our school district to explain to him that these were religious holidays and he shouldn't be marked absent for them. He decided that the thing to do was to leave the decision up to each principle of the different schools he would attend throughout his school years. He has ALWAYS been marked absent. :( So, it's not like these people are sympathetic to our cause. What would you do? They really don't care that this ONE Jewish kid is being picked on for being Jewish. They really don't.

We know fighting is not the answer, but he's in 6th grade and has dealt with this crap since he started school. They just keep it coming. Does anti-seminitism still exist in this country? You better believe it does. The name calling has come from many different kids. Not just one or two. Where do they learn that stuff? Answer...at home. It comes from their parents at the dinner table. :(

Any suggestions? Thanks.

edited to include that this is a public school.

[RBHam]

1. where do you live?

sounds like frankfurt circa 1937...

[lancdem]

4. It does

I was wondering that, too.

[The Zanti Regent]

292. I know AntiSemitism all too well.

I grew up in Ambridge, PA which was a hotbed for Anti Semites. It was encouraged by the assholes who ran the public schools.

[lancdem]

2. That is absolutely appalling

Could you go to a public meeting of the school board? I don't know what else to say. :(

[ultraist]

165. It is appalling

We have not experienced religious bigotry but my son has been called a "nigger" on many occasions. I did the same thing you did. I told him that the next time the neighbor kid calls him a racial slur or hits him, to go ahead and take him down.

This neighbor kid and his parents are very racist and he has pushed, kicked, and hit my kid on numerous occasions. I had previously told our son, not to react but walk away because we discourage fighting. But after this kid ran up to mine after he had fallen on his skates, and kicked him in the head with his skates, I was at my wits end. (They were playing hockey in the street).

Of course, it happened again and my son tackled him, hit him once and told him, next time, it will be worse. (He didn't really hurt the kid but scared him).

His fundie mom was pissed and attempted to blame us for her son being upset and crying but as I told her, I have now given my son permission to fight back and if her son EVER called my son a racial slur or hit him, my son would beat the shit out of hers.

I know that sounds terrible, but this kid's parents need to understand that we will not tolerate that type of harassment. This kid has no friends on the street anymore so it's no longer an issue.

Your situation sounds really difficult since it's happening at school by a number of kids.

[ashmanonar]

196. i don't blame you for allowing your kid to defend himself.

it's one thing to just ignore someone who's teasing or making fun of you, it's quite another to actually start using racist physical violence. tell your kid to go ahead and just make sure you don't kill him. :D

[Tom Yossarian Joad]

256. I think you did the right thing....

God, it pains me to see this happening today. It seems as if the country is going backwards in the area of social reform.

*sigh*

[liberalnurse]

3. Have you met with the School Board?

Do they have a newspaper in that town?

[MadHound]

5. A suggestion

Get a lawyer, hire one, or if you have a friend who is a lawyer. Have them write a letter to the principle and teachers involved explaining your position, and make some vague threats of "legal action" And send it in.

It has always amazed me how people pay attention when the legal letterhead crosses their desk.

[tishaLA]

244. Better than a lawyer: tell them you've been in contact with the ACLU

which is an organization that would be very interested in religious discrimination at schools and schools not protecting Jewish students. It wouldn't even require legal action; it might not even require a call to the ACLU. Just the threat of it should be enough to make the school district re-examine its policies.

[serryjw]

272. That's also what I would do......

Public schools have the obligation to protect ALL kids and TEACH about other religions and racies....Do you have any minority kids in the school?

[FreedomAngel82]

274. I wouldn't even tell them

I'd just go to ACLU and ask them for help. Spring it out of nowhere. That way they don't have time to pretend to be the victims. Since these people work that way.

[lonestarnot]

279. Best idea. n/t

[Califooyah Operative]

291. Now we're talkin. nt

[sidwill]

6. I hate to condone violence but...

Sometimes the only way to stop a bully is to whack him in the nose. Funny thing is the neanderthals will probably gain some respect your son ans start to refer to him as "Don't screw with that bad ass Jew" instead of the other epithet.

[Cocoa]

15. it sounds like the problem is with the school

and the community. Big time.

A whack in the nose will have zero effect on the situation, this needs to be handled by the federal government and the courts.

[elehhhhna]

47. Daddy's advice: Pop 'em when you see them winding up...

then scram!

Did it once. Worked like a charm.

[fat free goodness]

184. Almost twenty years ago - still funny (to a dad.)

Names changed to prevent my (Son) and (Daughter) from killing me when they see this posted.

(Son) and (Daughter)were in public school, son in kindergarten and (Daughter)in 2nd grade. Mommy picks them up after school and there is a large scratch on (Daughter)’s face, and a teacher waiting to explain: “We’re really sorry, it was an accident. We got our schedules crossed and let several grades out on the playground at the same time. The big kids are a bit too physical for the younger kids, without meaning to be. (Daughter) got scratched when she and an older boy got to the slide at the same time.”
Mom nodded and drove off.
(Son) says “It wasn’t an accident. The other boy did it on purpose. I SAW him do it. He laughed at her after he did it. And he was in the fourth grade!”
“Did the teacher see it?”
“No, she was looking in the other direction.”
“Did you go hold (Daughter)’s hand after she got hurt?”
“Yes. But, I had to punch the other boys lights out first.”
“(Son!) You shouldn’t have done that! You could get in trouble.”
“No, the teacher still wasn’t looking. I checked!”
“But the other boy was a lot bigger than you. He might have scratched you too.”
“No. I waited till he turned his back, THEN knocked him down.”
“But what about after he got up?”
“Oh, he didn’t get up for a long time. I used a rock.”

[elehhhhna]

248. Oh man. Your kids. Wow.

A favorite quote from our then-5 year old to our then-7 year old (both girls) : "APOLOGIZE, Nora, or I'll punch you AGAIN!"

Oy.

[alittlelark]

266. I showed that story to my kids (same age diff +gender, a bit older)

They are cracking up!!

[knight_of_the_star]

267. ROFLMAO!!!

That is priceless!!! Sounds like he knew what he was doing quite well lol!

[sakabatou]

312. LMAO

[ryan_cats]

48. I agree

I agree with what you said. The scary part is that kids usually mimic their parents so I shudder to think what kind of home environment this little reichsfuhrer is growing up in.

I see that incognito said basically the same thing to the principal. Someone else mentioned an attorney, I agree as well, it sounds like the school is well aware of the hatred and bigotry going on. Damnit all, there is no excuse for this kind of behavior.
:grr:

[raggedcompany]

83. I too advocate the use of violence in some circumstances.

You cannot reason with bullies, and when the authorities won't do anything about it, well...there comes a time when you've got to fight back, by any means necessary.

First, DO follow all the legal suggestions proposed elsewhere in this thread. You must be able to prove that you have performed all due diligence to address this problem.

Second, if your son was not physically struck FIRST, then he's going to have a hard time finding sympathy outside the home. You need to impress upon him that words are only that, no matter how foul they are.

If however he is attacked by one of these little bigots, I'd tell your son that--again, ASSUMING THE BULLY MADE PHYSICAL CONTACT FIRST--go for the kid's throat and don't let go until he passes out, or someone pulls him off. Or to kick for the nuts as hard as possible, several times. Seriously. Instruct him to retaliate in as vicous a way as he can muster. If he seems to flip out and goes postal after getting hit, I guarantee it will be the last time anyone in that school touches him.

I'd also tell him that if I ever, EVER found out that he instigated a physical altercation, I would whup his ass something fierce myself. If my kid threw the first punch, he's in big trouble with me.


Well, just my thoughts. I'm not a parent. Perhaps that's best.

[sakabatou]

313. I suggest the three point choke

cuts off the blood supply to the brain.

[knight_of_the_star]

268. Ditto

Tell your kid that if he starts anything he'll fry, but I was bullied a lot when I was a kid and my parents told me it was ok to hit back and put me in martial arts classes to help out with that.

Personally I would tell him to keep a steel bar in his pocket that he can fit in his fist, almost as good as brass knuckles but much more discrete ;). That and there are only two kinds of people in a fight after the first punch is thrown, the one who walks away and the one who needs help back up and that it really doesn't matter what you do to the other kid so long as they still are breathing and have a pulse.

[ohkay]

7. Is this a private school?

If it's a public school, he HAS to be allowed religious holidays off without punishment. It's part of the ERA.

As for the fighting, you should get some public light to shine on this. I don't know where you live ( I'm assuming it's a reddish area), but this is unacceptable. If you were black and he call your son a "dirty N." he would have been suspended!

[in_cog_ni_to]

19. Not a private school. It's a public school.

If it's the "law" that he has a religious holiday, then why would the damn superintendent not know that? Or does he know and is being a bigot himself? :(

We live in Illinois. Just south of Chicago. Our village is very conservative. How do I draw public attention to this?

[ohkay]

26. try this:

www.aclu.org

Get them to have an attny write a letter, in his letterhead, stating that your child WILL have his holidays, with out being marked absent, and cite, "chapter and verse" the code.

Then: set up a meeting with the teacher. Document as many of these incidents as you can remember, and ask them, "What would you have done if the student changed the word "jew" with the word " see how s/he responds. If this gets you nowhere, speak with the principal, superintendent etc. Go to the school board. Go to the media. DO NOT ACCEPT THIS!

- and good luck.

hell, call Obama. He's your senator, and I love him.

[elehhhhna]

50. move to like Flossmoor.

Seriously.

There are lots of Jews in Chicago--thank God you're not in Wyoming! Moving sounds drastic, and I'm NOT saying "go be with your own--problem solved!". You have a child who's being verbally abused at school, singled out, and not defended by the "system". He doesn't deserve it and, as a child, he's not prepared--nor has he made the choice, to take on the world and reeducate a bunch of idiots who rightly belong back in Indiana.

What's normal when you're a kid is what's normal. That's all. Pity he might grow up thinking this sort of persecution is normal...

Find a tolerant, more integrated neighborhood--your neighbors and school district stink anyway, so :TIME TO MOVE!

[in_cog_ni_to]

285. Flossmoor/Olympia Fields is where we go to services.

Our old synagogue up there closed because there weren't enough Jewish families in that area. Just like here, there's just not enough families in the area to support the temples. The congregation integrated with another congregation up there. They have even talked about THAT synagogue closing. :( People are leaving the area.

[elehhhhna]

293. "up there"? where are ya? Mokena?!!

We're from Thornton & Hoffman Estates, then Lincoln Park, then Oak Forest, now Sugar Land, TX. We laugh when we say we left Chicago (esp. the So. Suburbs) and came to Houston to get away from all the hillbillies. But we mean it. Y'all come on down! It's not segregated here, weathers warm, y'all can buy a gorg. house for 150K, and there are some very active Synagogues. (I'm not jewish and haven't been to svcs., but some friends are very involved and it sounds like a super congregation.)

[ashmanonar]

310. hey, i'm from mokena originally, so don't be hatin!

;)...

mokena doesn't actually have hillbillies...but anywhere south of it, past about frankfort, fuhgeddaboutit. manhattan is totally socially republican. mokena's only economically republican. bunch of rich assholes.

[Behind the Aegis]

178. I am shocked!

Well, not really. My brothers and I experienced the same thing growing up. We had perfect attendance...EXCEPT for missing High Holy days! In 5th grade, a classmate threatened to "blow my face off with his shotgun" because I was a kike (I had no idea what that was at the time). My parents were outraged (we were in Georgia at the time). They school did nothing, so my dad reminded them that (using their own stereotypical views on Jews), that we had lawyers in the family. :) My mom was more direct...she said that if ANYTHING happened to me or my little brother that she would OWN the school, the person in charge, the teacher, and the little SOB who did it! My mom has one rule..DON'T FUCK WITH HER CHILDREN! They were terrified of my mom...I never had another problem! :)

Try contacting the Simon Wiesenthal Center (I think they have an 800 number) and they may be able to give you some advice!

Good luck!

[DARE to HOPE]

295. Hmmmmm, just south of Chicago? Like in Burbank or so?

There are a lot of Muslims in this area, Palestinians, Iraqis, Syrians etc. I remember real Middle East confrontations when I went to U of I-Chicago--just like being on the West Bank. Would this be some of the animus behind the awful words?

[Igel]

23. That's gone back and forth over the years.

I think the "freedom of religion" act or whatever it was a few years ago would have protected the kid, but I don't think that works since it died.

Back in the '70s and '80s the courts kept flip-flopping.

ERA? (Surely not "equal rights amendment".)

[beyurslf]

8. Hire an attorney.

The school is legally responsible to protect your son.

[mirandaod]

9. This is outrageous.

I'm so sorry your son is going through this. And in my opinion, the middle school years are the hardest. I hate to be pessimistic, but it's liable to become more difficult for your son in the next few years.
I wonder if contacting an attorney would help. Maybe the school district needs to get a threatening letter or two.
Good luck to your son and your family as you tackle this problem. I wish you success.

[Jade Fox]

10. Can you get him in another school?

No kid should have to put up with that kind of crap.

That school needs to be outed for its anti-Semitism. There must
be resources in the Jewish Community who could help you call them on
the treatment of your son. The mere fact the school won't respect your
son's religious holidays is outrageous, let alone the bigotry-based bullying
he is subjected to.

[chickenscratching]

11. whoa, that's pretty heavy...

my apologies...sadly enough this reminds me of how kyle from southpark is treated (being the only jewish boy at school). i think the most important thing to do for you son is make sure that he's comfortable with himself, and knows that sometimes people are singled out when it comes to differences...its difficult to brush comments like that off, but on the other hand it would be even more difficult convincing sixth graders from a very non-jewish community that being jewish is ok. especially when they base all their ideals on their parents (and mommy and daddy are never wrong!!! :) )
geez, this is a tough one...i'd say look forward to highschool, usually it tapers off a little then...
its unfortunate that parents have to raise children with anti-seminitism in their hearts...because the other 6th graders probably have no inkling of what their doing, but as long as youre not the one being picked on...well, good for you right?

[Walt Starr]

12. File a lawsuit

Seriously, you can own that school district.

[Cocoa]

16. this school district is toast

there's no way that can be tolerated.

[liberalnurse]

17. Thats my thoughts too.

Also, if they go to the School Board and authorites without success or resolution....oh boy.....

[in_cog_ni_to]

27. We have gone to the Superintendent

about the religious holidays...to no avail. In every school, so far 3 of them, we have had to talk to the principles and teachers about the name calling. His 3rd grade teacher, bless her heart, started crying when she learned how he was being picked on for his religion and gave her class a speech about religious tolerance. :loveya: She was the ONLY teacher who gave a hoot about it.

We haven't gone before the school board yet. Should we do that before we send a letter from an attorney? My step son is a Chicago attorney.

[liberalnurse]

35. I'm just an everyday mom....

so I'd go to the School Board first and show good faith before calling in the troops. I would document everything! Include times, dates names, conversations and a few good wittinesses to the School Board meeting. I would also go very prepared to the School Board giving them a deadline to resolve the issue with measurable goals. I'd try for a written agreement and scheduled weekly meetings with assigned mediators and Board members. No empty promises spoken and forgotten once out the door. It's time they realized this is not a blow-off. Don't show your hand too early....just schedule a meeting....then hit them with closed parameters.

Hold them accountable....failure for them to comply to their duty is the hole they may step into. I'd take my child to a counselor/therapist too maybe. He has anxiety, low self-worth, physical and emotional trauma and has received double messages on how to deal with his crisis.....

Apparently you already have a positive history of pleading your situation as noted in your 3rd grade teacher experience.

[rtassi]

275. everyday dad...

You are very wise.

[lancdem]

37. I'd go to the school board first

so that wat you can say you've exhausted all recourses before seeking legal action. You could go to the media, too.

[alfredo]

114. There's been a lot of attention to bullying in schools. Many of the

mass murders in schools and the work place was because bullying was allowed.

type this "stop bullying in schools" in google and see what resources are available.
Contact your mayor about this problem. If he or she doesn't help, start chewing your way up the food chain. The Principal and board members should be mentioned in any correspondence.

The principal should have acted. As they used to say, "the principal is your pal." The parents would be very interested to know that he/she is not protecting their kids from bullying. This is a safety issue. A bullied kid may resort to ultra violence to settle the score.

[ultraist]

175. Yes! Ask him to send a letter on his letter head

I also think the suggestion to contact the ACLU is a good one. You may want to also contact some Jewish activist groups, they can likely give you some tips or direct you to other available resources.

I'd let the principal know that IF this is not stopped, you will take further legal action as well as call the media. Schools HATE negative press.

That school needs to be bitchslapped.

[knight_of_the_star]

271. How well do you get along with your stepson?

Just mentioning that "in passing" could do a lot to straighten the school out.

[dddem]

13. Has he tried smart-ass responses

Like... "I'm proud of my heritage. Tell me, how do you feel about your ignorance? Are you proud of that?" Or maybe, "Yea, I'm jewish, just like Jesus." Then punch the kid.
Seriously, when I hear stories like this, I go nuts. Why do we have to be so mean to each other? And worse, we do we have to teach our children. I'm so sorry you're son is going through this.

[Lydia Leftcoast]

119. "I'm Jewish, just like Jesus."

Heh-heh-heh. That will make the little bigots' heads explode.

[ashmanonar]

200. lol, i get this funny image in my head

it's not really that funny, but just that line got me "yea, i'm jewish, just like jesus." then punch the kid"

i can just see like adam sandler saying that, then sucker punching bob barker.

[LiberalEsto]

14. Call the Anti-Defamation League

I bet they'll have resources to help you, including legal advice.

[Name removed]

25. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[tom_paine]

45. Does the JDL still exist, I wonder

In the 60s, when it was doing semi-violent stuff, the Establishment tried to shut it down.

Did they succeed, I wonder?

I'm off to Google it, for we shall surely need it in the future.

Ok, it still exists

http://www.jdl.org/

My Favorite JDL Saying: "Every Jew a .22"

[Feathered Fish]

18. Hugs to you and your son

:hug:
I would do a couple of things, that have already been mentioned in this thread. Hire a lawyer and go to the papers. Perhaps you could also find some resources on how to deal with this within the Jewish community in your town/state.
The only other thing I can say, and it is something that you are obviously committed to, is to stick up for him no matter what. If he gets in trouble for fighting, go to the school and demand action. If he gets detention, don't send him. If the principal is obstinate, pull your kid out of school and take it to the papers. Contact the ACLU or the JADL (?) for advice and legal council.
Don't take shit from anybody.

[Igel]

20. I knew a lot of non-Jewish families who kept the high days,

and their kids were usually marked absent for Yom kippur, Rosh hashanah, and succoth (they kept it as a week-long retreat), and the spring high days.

They frequently got around the headache by talking not to the principle, but to the homeroom teachers (or other teachers once 'homeroom' was discontinued). The teachers were frequently more sympathetic, and as long as the kids actually did the work they didn't much mind. A few did. One of the arguments was that the school system wasn't religion-free: Xmas- and Easter-keepers had their days off by fiat, and when kids who missed school for Ash Wednesday, well, that was essentially ignored. Offer to send your kid to school on Xmas. Sometimes a note from the minister helped, sometimes it hurt.

As for anti-semitism, there were no actual Jews in the school I went to, but the quasi-Jewish Xians were still called "Jews", up there with 'dago' and 'pollock'. "Dirty Jew" wasn't necessary, "Jew" was used instead of the k-word. (Leading to the question, if you're called k**e and aren't Jewish, is it hate speech?)

A bit of it is racism, but some is just bullying. If "dirty Jew" is a good hurtful word, use it; if not, four-eyes, fatso, bucktooth, or whatever will have to do.

[barb162]

58. Your last sentence is quite true. I see this as straight bullying

and these same kids are probably picking on obese and other kids too. Kids can be little savages who have to be civilized. This kind of thing happens in every school I think. I am not saying it is okay because it isn't. If they aren't saying "dirty Jew" they'd be saying "dirty____" to another one of their marks.They'll find the one kid who is different in some way and start in on that kid.

A friend of mine has a son who was being bullied because he has a lisp. Luckily the school district here has a strong anti-bullying policy and they got the crap to stop.

[displacedtexan]

21. First of all, please provide more detailed info.

Public school?
Private school?
Did you send your son to school alone today?
Did you call the principal or a counselor or the teacher or the school nurse?

You should call your local ACLU immediately if you don't have a lawyer.

You should have marched into the principal's office first thing this morning, holding your son's hand.

You should phone each school board member and demand action.

If 24 hours pass with no resolution, call the editor of your local newspaper.

I taught for 25 years, and believe me...

No school, public or private, wants this type of situation publicized!

[HamdenRice]

22. Anti-semitism is at epidemic levels, but I'm not sure most Jews know it

I don't mean to sound presumptuous -- obviously you are feeling the pain of this anti-semitic incident right now. But what I find bizarre is just how "acceptable" it has become to be anti-semitic in America right now. I am African American, and my friends and acquaintances constitute a very multi-racial group. I am amazed, saddened and startled at the number of white people who will say outrageously anti-semitic things to me, even about mutual Jewish friends and acquaintances. In the past, I would blow up and say, if you are saying this about Jews now, what must you be saying about blacks when I'm not around. But I don't think that anymore because anti-semitism has become acceptable among people who I know deep down in my heart just are not racist toward black people. It has metastisized far beyond the bigot community. Sadly a lot of contemporary anti-semitism is mis-placed anger at Israeli policies that somehow morphs into a conspiracy theory. In my circle I have seen white progressive nominally Christian people have a conversation that included a Jewish couple in our circle and as soon as this couple leaves, the others say the most outrageous things about "the Jews." The Jewish couple is clueless about what is being said about them -- that's what I was referring to in my subject line.

I'm sorry about what happened to your son, but it reflects what the other childrens' parents are saying. It's an epidemic, and I'm not sure why it is happening at this moment in American history.

Was it Woody Allen who said, you're not paranoid if people really are out to get you!

<edited>

[ashmanonar]

33. i think the quote is something like "even paranoids

have enemies"

but anyways. this whole situation is bullshit. i don't think i've ever heard this said before, except jokingly where both people knew that it was a joke. (it wasn't "dirty jew," just calling him the "hall's resident jew" (even then, i thought it was rather inappropriate.)

this ranks up there with calling a black person a n*****. sick sick world we live in.

i like the picture, btw. poignant and funny.

[RBHam]

42. Wow! An epedemic of anti-Semitism?

A little far fetched.

Have any members of the Jewish community been arbitrarily detained without charge? Or sent off to friendly client states to be tortured and forced to sign false confessions to fabrciate evidence for the existence of the notorious Al-CIAduh?

I mean, really.

You seem to confuse and conflate the issues of Israeli Government policies and anti-Semitism.

Most of my Jewish friends are far more outspoken on those policies than any of my non-Jewish friends. They are always very reticent when it comes to criticizing Israel and tip toe around the "Zionist" issue as if it were a land mine.

And with the help of the post-9/11 mood, most of the non-political people I know equate Jews with Good and Muslims with Evil.

I think the Christian Fundamentalists who so blindly support Bush's march toward the apocalypse, who support the existence of Israel because it fits into their Armageddon/Rapture philosophy, who now scream "anti-Semite" at any secular humanist who dares to question the alliance of the US-Israeli Far Right, who firmly believe that only those Jews that accept Jesus as a God can be saved from the eternal fires of Hell...
I think that these people are who we should be afraid of.

[HamdenRice]

77. You are completely misinterpreting my post

First of all, there is nothing inconsistent with acknowledging that Arabs are being arbitrarily detained and tortured in the US, that the Israeli government is illegally oppressing Palestinians -- and that there is a rising tide of anti-semitism in the US, outside the fundie nutcase end time Christian zionist neocon death cult.

Nor am I equating criticism of Israel with anti-semitism.

What I am saying is that for reasons I don't understand, all sorts of people seem to feel empowered to say very nasty things about Jews, which they would not have felt empowered to say a few years ago. And the things I am talking about have nothing whatsoever to do with Israeli policy per se. These are people who rationally and correctly criticize Israeli policy, even in front of Jewish friends, but out of their presence go way beyond criticism of Israel to talk about stereotypes -- like that they cheap, or that Jews in general have some kind of conspiratorial control over America.

My only explanation is that since 9/11 (and I'm in NYC) there is an overall Israel/middle east fatigue that is causing people to go way beyond legitimate criticism of Israel's Likud Party and its neocon and Christian endtime rapture nutcase death cult supporters here.

[julialnyc]

115. I know what you are saying

I live in NYC too.....actually I'm in CT for a few months, but anyway........I've noticed a very big rise in people using anti-semitic comments in a very casual way. Like a friend might call another friend a bitch, but in a joking way (like, "your boyfriend is so hot....your such a bitch"). I grew up in a mixed background (Jewish father, catholic mother) so I don't have a real attachment to either religion in theory, but I get sort of thrown back when people say things around me (I would think my last name would signal to people that they are being bigoted).

What also bothers me is that some of my Jewish girlfriends perpetuate things by calling themselves names in gest......than my other friends think it is okay to repeat that way of talking.

Anyway, it all makes me very uncomfortable.

[barb162]

89. Sorry, I have been reading the same thing that anti-semitism is on the

rise. Why? I don't know, but it's happening.

[Name removed]

163. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[porphyrian]

203. "The Jews are chosen by God..."

This is the biggest misinterpretation of the Bible ever, and I'm so sick of seeing it. God DID NOT choose the Jews, the Jews chose to follow God's commandments when the others didn't, thus they CHOSE to be God's people. Stop spreading this retarded propaganda, it only helps the anti-Semites.

[ultraist]

I think it is on the rise, this whole culture of HATE is spreading

like a disease. I have seen more racism, religious bigotry, xenophobia and homophobia recently, than I can ever remember. I was a young kid in the early 70s and it was bad then, but it seems worse now than it did in the 80s and 90s.

[ashmanonar]

192. i think that taken together, the whole thing counts as xenophobia.

cuz if you put racism, religious bigotry, and homophobia together, you get xenophobia.

but you're right. i think anti-semitism may be on the rise bc of this rising xenophobia. (also, remember: antisemitism isn't just hatred of jews, but hatred of people of a semitic culture--that's basically people of the arab culture of the middle east (a distinction that ends at about egypt on one end and iran on the other.))

many "furriners" are on the receiving end of bigotry, bc of this xenophobia.

[ultraist]

194. It's the fundie Bush worldview that's spreading hate, IMO

We are regressing in so many ways.

[ashmanonar]

239. yep.

xenophobia is a bad thing in an individual, but apparently to bush it's a-ok in a foreign policy.

[fudge stripe cookays]

24. Alert the media.

In addition to hiring a lawyer. If the school won't help AND won't let him defend himself, you've got a real case.

And the media in this case could become your friend, and embarrass the living crap out of the school. If LOCAL media isn't an option, go farm out to Chicago. There are tons of Jewish associations etc there that could really get involved in this. Especially the folks at the Anti-Defamation League.

Good luck. Mazel Tov. Or whatever is appropriate in this case.
FSC, concerned goy

[ohkay]

29. mmm...cookies....

And I agree with him. Shine some light on this dirty little village!

[fudge stripe cookays]

54. That's cookaaaaaays!

Get it right! :D

(Proper pronunciation can be found here....
http://www.oddtodd.com/index2.html )

By the way, I'm a chick. =)
FSC

[salinen]

28. This is how I grew up!

One of the only jewish families around. The neighbor kids tortured me for years and called me a ju-ju bee and threatened me and left me out of everything they did.

The kids are not to blame! It's their parents. Kids will be cruel to anyone different. The parents are directing those kids to pick on the jew kid. Principal should interview the parents of those kids and warn them.

[Andy_Stephenson]

30. Give your son a can of mace...and when someone calls him

a "dirty jew" again make sure he knows how to use said mace.

Actually I would get an ACLU lawyer to handle this situation. Or...I would come on down with mace. I would enjoy that immensely.

Shit like this makes me see red!!!!!! Seriously I would get a civil right attorney on this ASAP! If they can't take care of the problem...no one can.

[Guaranteed]

71. I don't think you're allowed to have that in school.

He oughta just knuckle-up, or find something on the playground.

[Andy_Stephenson]

110. I know...

a baseball bat.

[Lorien]

31. Are there any liberal private schools in your area?

I attended a liberal private school as a child.It wasn't terribly expensive and there were only about 80 kids in the entire school, so there was lots of individual attention. Granted, it was the 1970s, but there's still a few out there (I've seen ads in the Utne reader). Bigotry and sexism were not tolerated at my school, that's why it immediately came to mind.

[Bridget Burke]

32. If they're the only Jewish family in the area....

I'll bet most of the private schools are Kiddie Kristian AKademies.

Besides, this should not be allowed in public schools. The kids there are being taught that anti-Semitism is OK.

[Lorien]

207. I agreed that it shouldn't be allowed in public schools

but public schools are underfunded, understaffed, and often run by those who were bullies themselves. This was true when I was a kid, and it's even more so now.

[in_cog_ni_to]

46. No. No Liberal schools here.

We have a lot of Catholic grade schools and a Catholic High school. Baptist Schools, but no Liberal, non-secular schools. :( If we did, he'd be there in a heartbeat no matter what it cost. I am so sick of this school district.

[Name removed]

147. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[Lorien]

211. You might contact this school:

http://www.olneyfriends.org/ it's a Quaker boarding school that a non-Quaker friend of mine attended, and he absolutely loved it! Olney would certainly have information on hand about other liberal leaning private schools that are within driving distances of where you live. please consider giving them a call.

:hi:

[knitter4democracy]

240. As a former Catholic high school teacher . . .

I can tell ya he would get treated much better in the schools I taught in. Of course, Cleveland has a large and very vocal Jewish population, but that kind of crap would not have been tolerated in the schools I taught in. In fact, one of the teachers at the girls school is Jewish, and her daughter was one of my students.

Okay, here's my advice: go back to that principal with a list of demands. Make sure he knows that the next step is to lawyer up and go to the school board. Demand that the bullies will get punished, that the entire class will get tolerance training, that the "absences" for Holy Days will be taken care of--even retroactively, and that this behavior will no longer be tolerated. If he does not comply, you will go the press, to the ACLU and ADL (which provides free materials to schools--I know, as they sent me stuff), and to a really good lawyer. He is not going to want a lawsuit on his head, and that should make him deal.

The way most schools are set up, the principal has a lot of power and the supt. really doesn't. Deal with the principal until he stops dealing with you before you move on. The next meeting you have, have a lawyer in there with you, and get every single teacher your son comes in contact with in there too so that you can frame the issue and not the principal.

Sheesh! If that had happened to one of my kids--ooh! I would've been all over that jerk's ass with detention with me (I always gave writing assignments in which they had to go through their behavior choices and explain how they should've chosen differently), and that would've ushered in a new unit in my lit class on bullying and tolerance. I can't believe his teachers look the other way on this--if those kids are doing it to your son, they're doing it to everyone.

[Padraig18]

34. Oh Jeez, I'm sorry.

Your poor son! :(

If he were my kid, I'd hire the meanest, nastiest, pit bull of a lawyer I could find and make that school district's life an unending cycle of legal hell, misery and torment, until they finally DO something constructive.

:hug:

[happynewyear]

36. well I've been called a "Shanty Irishman" more than once

Does that count too? When that happened my father kicked the guy's ass from here to hell and back as he was known to do in his lifetime.

Now my father is dead. Who kicks asses now for me? Answer: I do!

Hang in there. Racism of any sort sucks.

DTC

:kick:

[Padraig18]

38. Yeah, and 'dumb mick'

I've gotten into my share of fights.

x(

[happynewyear]

41. sick and stupid people do this

I couldn't believe it. I was at the grocery store the other day and this "local" young woman (she couldn't have been but 20 years old) was bragging to me about how she came from 5 generations of local bigots. I looked at her and said, "I know all about bigots." She seemed to glow, liking the idea of being identifiable as a bigot.

I said to her, "Bigotry may seem funny and cool to you. However, it will also follow you to your grave. Just think of how wonderful it is to know that after you are dead you'll be remembered as being a "fine bigot"." She did not like that very much I don't think. What a way to be remembered huh?

As if I could give a damn about how it made HER feel. Bigots live their lives as bigots; bigotry being the only driving force in their lives. I find few that ever recover from this innate problem and mental illness as I think of it as being.

It ALL sucks. ALL of it and it is never acceptable to me on any level whatsoever regardless of who you are and what your identity may be.

:kick:

[rockymountaindem]

39. Something similar happened to me about 6 years ago in HS

I was one of about 10 Jewish kids in my high school, and the only one I knew of in my graduating year. I was 12 years old at the time, and I was having some religious chit-chat with my friends at lunchtime. Some older student (might have been 16 or 17) overheard us and yelled from another table at me "are you Jewish?" My Christian friend (who is quite devout, and is my best friend and one of the best people I know) told him to mind his own business. At that point the other dude conferred with his friends for a moment, and then leaned back over and said quite loudly "Because if you're Jewish, you should die!"

I told my parents about it, who warned me not to have anything to do with that jackass. I don't think my friends heard him say that, so they didn't react (the atheists and Christians were really having it out at the time). I didn't tell anyone at the school. Fortunately, I had no idea who said that to me, and I never saw him again. Don't know what happened to him.

Another time, one of my teachers had never heard of Yom Kippur when I needed to miss a test. One of my classmates once described Yom Kippur as "fucking stupid" when I told him about the fasting. Real nice.

I should also mention all the fundies who thought I was the coolest thing in the world because I was one of the "chosen people".

[ashmanonar]

205. i woulda said "bring it on"

and then picked up the chair you were sitting on. i'll bet he wouldn't have said a word after that.

:evilgrin:

[rockymountaindem]

206. A few things wrong with that scenario...

1) I was 12 and he was 17.
2) I used to be fat and weak, not to mention the shortest kid in school.
3) It was a year after Columbine, which happened an hour from my school, and I know I would have been the one in trouble for turning a verbal dispute into a phusical one. That would have gone on my "permanent record".
4) We had benches at the lunch tables, not chairs.

If it were today though (now that I've grown and gotten in shape), the outcome would probably be different.

[ashmanonar]

238. ahh.

well, i guess you're here now, so it didn't do lasting damage to you.

that's just my opinion on the scenario. if someone calls you out like that, i would have gone to the principal anyways. that's a death threat.

[ohkay]

40. Also, try calling the parents.

Ask them point blank if they feel this is acceptable behavior, then go public with the names of the parents who don't tell their kids to back off. Even now, no one wants the local paper to out him as a blatent racist.

[in_cog_ni_to]

52. Remember the 3rd grade teacher story?

That was the year I called the parent of the kid who was calling him "Stinkin' Jew" or "Jew Boy" (there's so many names to remember :() and she just couldn't for the life of her figure out where he would have EVER learned anything like that! They NEVER talk like that at home! She was just appalled. :eyes: She hasn't spoken to me since. I called her because I knew her from being a room mother in the same class with her. She knew where he learned it, otherwise she wouldn't now avoid me when we see each other at school. ;)

[Midlodemocrat]

79. Call the ACLU

They will force the school system to abide by a no bullying program.

They are pitbulls when it comes to this stuff.

So sorry about that. No one should have to endure that.

:hug:

[radwriter0555]

43. Please contact the ACLU. The school is obligated to protect your

child, and the ACLU is a great tool to enable that.

[BanzaiBonnie]

44. It a hideous thing

Belittling someone for something as core as their religion. I'm wondering if taking out the purely religious aspect would be helpful? Or do you think that's really the core of this experience? My experience is that some will bully using anything that works. Name-calling is name-calling and meant to make insecure people who feel small inflate their status.

You are your son's best support system. And if the school refuses to do anything about the tormenting then I don't see a problem with you giving your son permission to handle it.

Of course the school will see it differently. You may need to demand more of the school and force the issue of intolerance through legal means. This may mean training for staff and even special courses for the children.

I will say this; a bully is a bully. My siblings and I were tormented mercilessly throughout grade-school. Mostly on the school-bus, but also by some of the same kids on the playground. We had a name they could pick on. And because my parents did not frequent the local bar with the parents of these other kids it made my family "different". There was also some jealousy in the neighborhood that was aimed at us.

Whenever we complained to my parents they told us to ignore the bad behavior. So we did. Of course the twisted insults never let up and one time the dirtiest boy on the bus spat on me. Another boy kicked my brother in the crotch --- with those pointed Beatle boots. He told me he was bruised for weeks.

That was when we were about 5th and 6th grade or so. By that time I was becoming very depressed and beginning to give up on school.

One day after school, when I was in seventh grade, one of my teachers called me by the name that those kids used for me. I thought I was going to die on the spot. The humiliation was excruciating. He apparently thought it was just a nickname. I didn't say a word to him , but I told my parents when I got home and they went and had a talk with him. He apologized.

The next year when I was in 8th grade there was another incident and I made up my mind that it was going to end there. I had reached my limit. There would be no more daily torment.

I didn't have a plan, but I knew I wasn't going to let the name-calling continue. The next day when I got on the bus one of the boys made some nasty remark. It turned out that this was the mildest mannered of the gang. As I walked down the aisle I stopped beside him, reached down and grabbed him by the collar lifting him up out of the seat a bit. I was angry. In fact I was in a serious rage.

Holding onto his shirt, dangling him in the air, I told him, "Don't you EVER talk to me like that again." Then I unceremoniously dropped back into his seat. None of them EVER called me or my siblings names again.

While this is a painful experience, it is one of those things that as long as it does not crush, will shape who your son becomes.

You are your sons best advocate until he can advocate for himself. Bullies do not go away. they just keep coming until something stops them.

[Minstrel Boy]

49. this makes me fucking furious

Kids wouldn't think to call another a "dirty Jew" all on their own.

But what really gets me is the institutional ignorance of the school. Counting your child as "absent"?! That's outrageous.

[ReaderSushi]

51. Tolerance is only part...

...of the answer, the rest is desensitization. Strange but it works. I expose many of my friends to racist jokes and slurs about their religion or culture on a semi-regular basis. I thought it best to hear them from me and get a laugh than from a stranger and get hurt. Now most racist comments just wash off them. Your mileage may vary.

[WillowTree]

53. The nonsense about not...

.....allowing excused absences for religious holidays, especially Yom Kippur, ought to be able to be resolved with some well-worded threats of legal action because that's just plain discriminatory.

I'm not quite so sure about the verbal abuse, even though it's at least as unacceptable. Are the kids who do this punished by the school administration? Are their parents notified about their unacceptable behavior? They do need to be doing at least those things, but I'm not entirely sure that there's much more than that that they can do. Not that I condone it. Far from it. It's just that they can't control every stupid thing that kids say (I presume this isn't happening during class, of course....That would be a different story), they can only make conditions such that it runs against the kids' self-interests to say such appalling things and then mete out appropriate consequences when they do on school time and/or property.

I'm so sorry that you and your son are having to put up with such intolerance. Sad that in a free society we still have to deal with dolts such as this. Good luck to you in getting some resolution.

[in_cog_ni_to]

61. The kids get detention (sometimes, not always)

and their parents probably get a note telling them why they are getting detention. However, some of the kids who have gotten detention, continue to name call. That tells me that the parents just never bothered to address the issue with them. If that was MY child, he'd be grounded for life! I just don't know how to stop it if the parents of these kids don't care to address it in a responsible way. The incident yesterday happened during PE class. Most of this does happen during class, lunch or PE. They have no recess anymore and he doesn't ride the bus. I take him to school and pick him up.

[WillowTree]

81. If it's happening during class...

....and the kids doing it aren't receiving progressive punnishment, up to and including expulsion, for harassment and using hate speech at school, then I'd definitely threaten legal action for the school's inaction. As I said, what kids say at lunch or when teachers and other school staff are out of earshot is difficult to control. But from what you describe, the teachers and school administration are well aware that this is happening in the school and aren't taking sufficient steps to stop it and that just can't be allowed to continue. No excuse for it at all.

[ultraist]

193. Go to the classroom

For lunch or to volunteer and tell the kids yourself. Tell them each quietly, they if they ever call your son names like that again, not only will you report them to the prinicipal, they will have to answer to you. (And give them a mean look). Most kids that age are pretty frightened by authority. And adults represent authority to them.

I did something similiar once for the girl I mentor. She's black and obsese and was being tormented on the bus. I showed up at the bus stop one day and had a little chat with those kids. I let them know, that they are not just dealing with her. It didn't totally stop it, but it seemed to help. I think more than anything, she felt safer knowing people were on her side. We laugh about it now and I tell her anytime she needs me to go to the bus stop, I'm there!

[leftynyc]

223. I suspect their parents would not ignore suspension

That would be part of their vile children's permanent record.

[barb162]

55. does the school district have an anti-harassment/ anti bullying

policy? Because if they do your first question to them is why aren't they enforcing it? ANd if they don't have one, then the question is, why not? Kids should not be bullied on school premises and the teachers and teacher assistants have to watch out for this and get the bullies disciplined.

It is obvious you have to take this matter up to the school district level because the principals are do-nothings. May I ask in what part of IL you reside? You'll notice I am in IL too

[barb162]

62. you might want to call some progressive school districts and ask

them if you can have a copy of their anti-bullying policy. Then when you talk to the school board you'll be armed. Also you might want to call the IL State Board of Education as they may have some boilerplate language there. You also might want to call some school districts in the Chicago area that have high concentrations of Jewish population, like Highland Park, Deerfield, Skokie, Norhtbrook, etc and ask them for their thoughts on how to handle this problem.

[in_cog_ni_to]

63. I'm in Bourbonnais. Just South of Chicago. Where are you?

The school does have an anti-bully policy. You would never know it though.

[barb162]

80. OHHHH!!!! My girlfriend lives there; I know it well!

(and her husband, who grew up there, calls it Bur-Bann'-is).
I am in Naperville and I picked this little thing below off my district's web site of one of the middle schools in this district. I am in a big district and never even heard of this middle school.:

"Our information shows that bullying typically increases approximately 5% during the course of a school year. Using data available through Manners Matrix, a bullying survey piloted at Still Middle School last spring, Still staff and students were able to identify and REDUCE bullying instances in 9 of 10 surveyed categories during a 2 month period.

Students and parents indicated positive perceptions when questioned about "There are clear rules to stop bullying" and "I am taught in school how to stop a bully".

The number of students reporting physical contact with other students dropped 16% from March-May. The frequency of these instances also dropped 10% during this short time, which typically sees an increase in inappropriate behaviors.


Over 90% of parents and students reported feeling safe at school.

Based on survey results available to staff, Still faculty identified target areas in April and implemeted building-wide discussions and subtle procedural changes to address student needs.

Still's students, teachers, parents and bus drivers will be surveyed twice this year, in the fall and at the conclusion of the school year. This info. will allow staff to identify specific needs relative to this school year and creative solutions to those issues that emerge. As an example, a 6th Grade "Bullying Basics" curriculum will be implemented prior to winter break based on the results of last year's survey, which indicated that it is important to teach expected behaviors early in a student's middle school career."

(Yeah, you're in what I umm, call,ummm, Olivet-Nazarene country, but I gotta watch out as I'm gonna get called a bully next!)

[in_cog_ni_to]

91. Yup...Olivet country. My next door neighbor

works for the University. The people across the street work there. I'm surronded by them. Yes indeed. I'm definitely in fundie-land.

on edit...one of my step sons lives in Naperville. :hi: I wonder if I know your friend? ;)

[barb162]

97. Know anyone who lives on Guildford Drive in your town?

Yeah, I don't know anything about that school (Olivet) other than it is very conservative religious, butI don't know what exactly it is they believe.

[in_cog_ni_to]

129. I use to work with a doctor who lived on Guilford.

Guilford is right around the corner from me. We're in the same neighborhood. Small world, eh?

[barb162]

161. oh my! My girlfriend had an MD across the street who went

bankrupt sometime in the last 3 or so years. He invested in some stuff that didn't work out and had to sell his house on Guildford this past year or so. Sound like the same guy?

[barb162]

177. let me correct that, you can see his ex- house on Guildford, but I

don't know if the address of the house was on Guildford...it may actually be on a connecting street to Guildford.

[in_cog_ni_to]

221. No. The doc I worked with was an Ophthalmologist.

He moved to a new house along the river somewhere and is still in practice. His house was on the corner of Guilford and Bristol Green, I do believe.

[barb162]

232. that intersection is about a block from my girlfriend's; amazing....

[barb162]

126. here's the law for Arkansas (which is rated A- by an anti bully group)

http://www.bullypolice.org/ar_law.html

I googled anti-bully school policy and it is amazing what you can get. I didn't try "ethnic discrimination" or "gangs" or "fighting" or a host of other possibilities

[coffeenap]

82. Your mayor's statement--on the Bourb. website

The people of Bourbonnais join me in welcoming you to the Village of Bourbonnais’ official website. Bourbonnais is a vibrant, friendly community known as “The Village of Friendship” to more than 16,000 residents of many cultures and faiths. You will discover the Village of Bourbonnais is a great place to work, play and raise a family. I hope that the Village’s website will provide you with valuable information about Bourbonnais and our surrounding area.

Located off Interstate 57, Bourbonnais ... Due to our convenient location, Bourbonnais is close to a variety of restaurants and shopping. Housing is available in all price ranges for residents as well as a retirement community for senior citizens. Bou.rbonnais’ schools are excellent and ably serve the Village’s children’s educational needs. Bourbonnais is “business friendly”. We see the addition of commercial and industrial developers as partners to the growth of our area. Residents and visitors to the area can enjoy many recreational opportunities at the nearby Kankakee River State Part as well as at many of the numerous community parks, youth sports programs, festivals, and much more. Bourbonnais is honored to serve as the “Summer Home” to the Chicago Bears training camp at Olivet Nazarene University.

For these reasons and many more, I am proud to call Bourbonnais home. We hope you plan to visit us often.

Sincerely,


Robert Latham, Mayor

[in_cog_ni_to]

122. Yeah...that's the Mayor.

:eyes: He lives just down the street from me. Friendly Village is funny. :) Friendly if you're a republican.

[Bethany Rockafella]

56. He should have kicked him in the nuts!

[leftynyc]

224. That was my first reaction as well

Kick the shit out of the little mother****ers (nothing gets my back up more than cruelty to children).

[Cleita]

57. Wow, the Nazis really are making a comeback!

It's been commonly known that White Suprmemist groups like the Aryan Nation openly target Jews. I believe that the leader of the Jewish Defense League was killed by Aryans in prison although the official story is that it was an accident.

I don't know where you live but you better make sure that the family of the child who said that isn't affiliated with one of these groups. Oh, they operate as churches too. If you point out that Jesus was a Jew, they go into major freak-out and denial.

Be careful, these are bad times we are living in this country. That freak-out Jerry Falwell and the rest of those southern fundies secretly hate Jews. Make sure when you file a complaint that the principal or whoever you talk to isn't one of them.

And to answer your question, when I was in the fifth grade, there was one Jewish kid, a girl, in my class and I was the only Catholic. I was also hispanic but since I didn't look it no one knew. However, we were the only two brown-haired, brown-eyed kids. There were no other ethnicities in my class, just a lot of blond blue-eyed protestant kids. The Jewish girl and I were openly shunned, so we ended up being friends to each other and playing together at recess. This was almost sixty years ago. I guess some things are coming back. What a shame.

[coffeenap]

65. It has never been gone--just not acceptable to voice it again until

recently. My now deceased dad was raised by his dad to physically defend himself against it; he raised my brother to defend himself against it, and begged me to raise my son to defend himself against it. His own father was raised to defend himself by a father who had to escape progroms in Russia/Germany alone at age 12. (Being old school, I guess he assumed the men would protect us women.)

I am sure African-American families have to go through this too. Not to mention American Muslims, Native Americans, etc. It is a difficult choice for all "minorities" to stay and fight or fly to temporary safety for the sake of the child.

[in_cog_ni_to]

87. We DO have a Nazarene religious element working here, I think.

I know from other parents that our school board is made up of Nazarenes or mostly Nazarenes. We have the Olivet Nazarene University here in the village. The school district hires graduating teachers from there all the time. I do believe the assistant principle at my son's school is Nazarene. I'm not sure about the principle and the superintendent though. I wouldn't doubt if they too were Nazarene. I think we have that local religious school district takeover going on. How do I find out if that's what's going on?

I work in the Media Center at the school one day a week for 3 hours. The librarian was telling me how wonderful it was when they put in the new carpet and the students from Olivet University came in and put the library back together for her. That was nice of them, but why them? They also use to have, after school hours, meetings for the Nazarene church at the school. I think the district is entwined with the University. I could be wrong. How do I find out who these people are outside of school? :shrug:

Please don't think I'm trying to be snarky about Nazarenes. They are free to practice whatever religion they wish.

[Kathy in Cambridge]

130. What's a Nazarene?

I'm from a heavily Catholic/Jewish state, and I'm not familiar with many of the fundamentalist sects. I honestly rarely run into a Protestant, or even someone who was raised Protestant.

[Cleita]

179. I believe they are a very fundamentalist sect of Methodists.

No dancing allowed, that kind of thing. But I'm not sure. Maybe some other DU'ers more familiar with them than I am.

[Cleita]

183. If your son has non-Jewish friends at school

maybe you could get to know their parents on a social basis and then open up a dialogue about this issue to find out what they may know. Good luck!

[Padraig18]

59. The more I think about this, the madder I get!

SUE THE BASTARDS!

:grr::argh::nuke::grr::argh::nuke::grr::argh::nuke::grr::argh::nuke::grr::argh::nuke::grr::argh::nuke::grr::argh::nuke::grr::argh::nuke::grr::argh::nuke::grr::argh::nuke::grr::argh::nuke::grr::argh::nuke::grr::argh::nuke::grr::argh::nuke::grr::argh::nuke::grr::argh::nuke::grr::argh::nuke::grr::argh::nuke::grr::argh::nuke::grr::argh::nuke::grr::argh::nuke:

[leftynyc]

225. I'm not sure if you meant sue the bullies or the school and/or

school district. Either one would get enough press for the community to do something about it.

[UdoKier]

60. That's really sad - the other kid MUST have learned that from a parent.

or an adult relative.

I never heard such language in school, and my school was at least 10% Jewish. Our school excused absences for religious holidays - there were always 2, 3 or 4 kids in every class gone on Yom Kippur, and it was never a problem.

Do you live in Massabama or something? Utah? Oh, I see now it's IL.

Keep slugging.

[fortyfeetunder]

117. Is Polarization the norm in Chi-town?

According to the 2000 census, the Chicago area is one of the top ten racially polarized cities in the nation. I would not be surprised if ethnic and religious polarization was apparent there.

[Cleita]

188. I think you may be right.

I had a friend in Catholic school whose parents were Slovanian immigrants. They had first settled in Chicago when they arrived. My friend was born there and lived there until she was ten. She told me that they had to go to a different neighborhood to attend a Slovanian Catholic church because the church closest to them was Polish catholic and they wouldn't be welcome there. How polarized is that? It does help you to understand the ethnic conflict in the balkans though.

[barb162]

235. this rings bells; when I was a little kid in Chicago I didn't go to the

nearest Catholic school because it was POLISH ("the dirty Polocks")and we weren't Polish; all the kids I played with, though, were Polish and I envied them that they only had to walk a block to their school. I had to walk 6 blocks one way to go to the Catholic school for my ethnic background and I would beg my mother every few weeks to attend the Polish school. And the Irish went to their schools, blah, blah, blah. Back then things were separated by religion AND ethnic background.

[semillama]

64. Calling Bill Goldberg!!

Just imagine your son showing up for school with the World's Toughest Jew at his side....

[coffeenap]

68. Now THAT would work!

[Name removed]

66. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[coffeenap]

69. The flames ignite...

[Name removed]

72. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[Misunderestimator]

90. What? I grew up in a school that had NO jewish kids...

and no black kids either... where do you get off pulling "Hitlers Public School District" to make fun of this poster not knowing anything about why she would know that hers is the only jewish kid in the school.

I tend to take people's threads requesting advice at face-value. Is it so difficult for you to imagine a school district that has no Jewish children?

[in_cog_ni_to]

96. We drive 45 minutes to go to a synagogue North of us. Trust me

when I say he's the ONLY Jewish kid in the school district...he's the ONLY Jewish kid in the district. The temple in our neighboring town closed because there were no Jewish families here anymore. I don't care if you believe it or not.

edit BAD spelling. ;)

[LostinVA]

123. Give me a break

My girlfriend grew up in a small town in NC, about 20 minutes from Winston-Salem. Not only did she not have any Jewish kids in her school, there were literally NONE in the whole county. (she knew this, because her family gloated over the fact) Of course, she was raised around people who detested Jews and called them "Jesus' murderers. She didn't meet someone Jewish until she went to college in Boone.

Many, many areas of the country have no or few Jewish residents. Read "Postville."

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

191. There are fewer Jews than most religions in the US..why would that

you?

[ultraist]

198. None of this is beleivable? WTF?

You have got to be joking. Have you not noticed an increase in xenophobia, thanks to Bush and KKKarl Rove? Get real.

I HIGHLY doubt this mother is making this up or being paranoid.

[ashmanonar]

214. dude, it's illinois.

i lived in illinois before i came to michigan for college. it's HEAVILY republican and HEAVILY white christian rich asshole, especially south of the city. doesn't surprise me any that they're the only jewish family in the area.

[DARE to HOPE]

296. Gosh, and to think that I thought that MICHIGAN was too Republican...

...to move there from the Chicago south suburbs! :-)

[ashmanonar]

309. :D

i don't live in just any part of michigan...i live in da UP, yah? it's a whole different world.

plus, i live on a college campus...so i'm surrounded with diversity and just different people. i suppose living in teh backwoods of michigan, it's pretty republican.

[barb162]

234. I know the area...I also believe there are no Jews there

[Guaranteed]

70. "Dirty Jew" is fighting words.

Somebody starts talking like that, they better be ready to get their teeth kicked in. And I see nothing wrong with her child doing just that. People need to fight against this kind of persecution.

[Name removed]

73. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[Guaranteed]

74. Bullying is already enough reason to at least be ready to

mess someone up physically. When they start using racial epithets, it's time to smack 'em.

And I doubt that he's going to get a criminal record for it. Also depends on how old he is, though. Kids fight.

On edit: Just re-read. He's in sixth grade. He'll be fine. I say swing.

[Name removed]

76. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[Guaranteed]

78. Soooo...what? The poster is lying?

Why would someone make up this story?

[Name removed]

85. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[Misunderestimator]

You just graduated from HS last year, and you think you have enough

wordly knowledge to claim that this poster is a liar based on YOUR personal experience that your school was not anti-semitic? Is that it? OMG... I hope that you are considering moving away from home to go to college.

[Name removed]

95. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[Guaranteed]

98. Man- shit flies everywhere. nt

[Spacejet]

100. Yup

and notice the OP did a nice hit and run. Guess you missed that too.

[Guaranteed]

102. She just responded to you. nt

[Misunderestimator]

104. Yup... and I guess you missed that the OP has been here since 2003...

and posted the OP hours ago... should she have hung around just to answer your preposterous criticisms and name-calling, calling her a liar?

[Misunderestimator]

99. Maybe in "MY TIME?" LMFAOROFLOL

Because it is not in the ONE school you attended in conservative Texas, you CANNOT make the assumption that anti-semitism such as the poster described does not exist anywhere.

If you think you can... you have a lot of hard learning to do.

And thanks for the bullshit answer too... excusing everything I know in my 42 years as if I am an old fart. See ya... :hi:

[Name removed]

106. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[Misunderestimator]

111. You haven't lived life outside your insular school...

do not continue to insult me, and do not continue to insult the original poster... You are new here, you don't know her.... she has been here for years... why are you jumping in here and calling a long-time member of this site a liar? That's the question begging to be answered.

[Name removed]

120. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[da_chimperor]

124. Listen, bucko

I've lived in four different countries on three different continents, and in two states, and I'm also away at college. I graduated high school three and a half years ago and I am telling you that your argument about 'all schools having security and cameras' holds as much water as a bucket without a bottom. Whatever changes you speak about weren't there when I graduated. So please, don't waste our time.

[Spacejet]

127. When did you graduate?

I've already posted links.

[da_chimperor]

136. 2001

and feel free to repost your links.

[Misunderestimator]

137. Oh, but don't you know that since 2001 every school in the country

has had so much funding from our government that they have installed video cameras and metal detectors and security officers in every one of them? :eyes:

[Spacejet]

141. Where did I claim

EVERY school has this?

The fact is every year for some time now more and more schools HAVE been adding to security.

[Misunderestimator]

145. HAHAHAHAHAHA

yeah... ok.... so.... then, following this new logic, what about the schools that DON'T have all that security equipment? Weird how all of a sudden you seem to understand that schools are different.

[Name removed]

153. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[da_chimperor]

154. Don't have too much fun picking his/her 'argument' to pieces

oh, wait, you've already done that. It's time for dinner! :hi:

[Misunderestimator]

162. You're right... was just about to respond again until I realized..

that it's about as useful as continuing to punch your floor on an elevator that's broken. Bon Appetit! :hi:

[ultraist]

210. My kids schools don't have cameras nor do they have metal detectors

[Misunderestimator]

131. What's to accept? The point is that you think that this situation could

not possibly exist. That's the point. Not whether I "believe" it or not.

You have a certain arrogance in your posts which does bely your age. I find myself completely insulted by you. I wonder if that's the reaction you're going for here.

[Spacejet]

133. You're the first that brought up age

Suggesting that my current experience in public schools is somehow inferior to your 1970's experience in regards to current situations in schools.

[Misunderestimator]

135. You are the one that brought up age... you are the one that said that

you graduated from high school last year. You know well that I did not say what you are twisting my words to be. How stubborn of you to ignore everything I and everyone else has said to you. I've had about enough of the sandbox now... I'm playing somewhere else.

[Spacejet]

138. I only brought up the fact I just graduated

because I have current experience, unlike you.

You of course twisted that around, and attempted to claim your 40+ year age somehow makes you MORE in tune with the current situation in schools. Great logic there.

[Misunderestimator]

142. No... I never said it made me more in tune with current schools...

I implied that it made me more in tune with life... having seen anti-semitism in many, many places. I also SAID that you have been repeatedly calling the OP a liar, because you seem not to believe that such a situation could exist in this country, because it does not (you think) exist at all in your school. ANYONE with any experience in life knows that one experience could not possibly make one understand all experiences. Therefore, one school could not possibly make you understand all of them.

Do you not read about places outside your world? Do you discount every story of bigotry because you have not experienced it yourself?

Your arrogance makes you no friends, pal.

[Name removed]

151. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[Misunderestimator]

159. But see... it IS LIKELY. I know that because I have heard these stories

from people I KNOW over and over and over again. I'm happy for you that you attended a school that is obviously progressive beyond most schools in this country. You're lucky.

Please get the point... now read carefully... it does NOT MATTER to me if this poster is telling the "truth" or not. What MATTERS to me is that this is the kind of situation that I KNOW FROM EXPERIENCE can happen, and therefore it is plausible. Add to that, that I have read a lot of what this poster has written, and have never had cause to doubt her. Why on earth would I approach it assuming it to be false?

Is that how you approach things that are told to you by people you don't know very well? You start by assuming that they are lying?

As for your example earlier, if the subject were about aliens, then of course, it would be taken differently. Since the subject is KNOWN to be something that DOES occur in our society, there is no reason to approach it with suspicion. Fortunately, I happen to know that it does occur because I have lived 42 years and have lived in many locations and countries. You don't have that advantage, so you assume that all you know is all there is.

[barb162]

245. bravo! well said. Discrimination, harassment, etc., go on everywhere

This school district needs to put in a strong policy and then ENFORCE it so this kind of horseshit doesn't go on

[in_cog_ni_to]

181. So, my son's experience in school isn't current?

I suggest you visit communities outside your little world. It would do you good. Your world seems to be a little narrow.

[ashmanonar]

216. i have current experience...

and i find the OP's story completely believable. our area is really really conservative, and pretty damn white. there is more diversity breaking in, but it stands to reason that there might be schools where there isn't. the only reason there weren't ethnic problems in our school is that they were complete control/security freaks. i would use the word nazis, but that doesn't seem appropriate per the context.

[ultraist]

208. LMAO!!!

You've got more experience in public schools? Not only did most of us attend public schools but we have children in school.

Right, kiddo, you have more life experience than we do. :eyes:

Good luck in the real world! When you get out of college, you are in for a real surprise. LMAO!!!

[Name removed]

116. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[LostinVA]

143. Segregation Days???

Hmmm... I think maybe you'd better go back to that Texas HS. hate to tell you, but a 42-year-old didn't GO to school in those "segregation days." Hehehehehhehehehe. And, most places never refused entry to Jews, even in the South.

[Misunderestimator]

149. LOL... And... we actually had TELEPHONES... oh, and even TELEVISIONS

And INDOOR PLUMBING! Even in Texas.

[Spacejet]

157. He'd be going to school

around the 60's-70's. Maybe you should check history. All schools were NOT integrated then, and some were still NOT happy about being integrated - thus still were being effected by segregation in one shape or form. His time was still a part of the segregation period.

[LostinVA]

166. Ummm... YES THEY WERE!

In a technical sense, many schools are not completely segregated NOW, because of inequality. YOU are part of the segregation period, because many districts in the South still aren't happy about this. It all depends on what part of the US you grew up in. I'm two years younger than that poster I was referring to, and grew up in NJ, where the schools have been completely integrated for decades.

And, do not tell ME to check history. I have an MA in American History and have taught it in post-secondary classes. I think I know a bit more than someone who had history taught to them from <snicker> an American HS text.

[countingbluecars]

202. Actually

Massive resistance to integration was going on well into the 1960s. In
Virginia very few schools were integrated in the early 60s.

[Misunderestimator]

169. You know... you could have just a little more curiosity...

and click on a profile. I mean, I can tell you're a guy, but I'm not... thank you very much.

And NO even in a tiny little cowpoke town in Texas, we were integrated... just had no one in the town who was black or Jewish. I highly doubt there's more than one or two now even... having visited not two months ago.

You're funny... you make me feel like I should be soaking my teeth at night or something.

[LostinVA]

172. Cobb County, GA? Taught THAT in school???

I think it was just TWO YEARS ago that a black family moved there... or rather, was ALLOWED to stay there. Gosh, that wasn't in the old days.

[MsTryska]

218. 2 years ago that a black family moved to Cobb County?

wrong.


despite common misperceptions, and i can't blame y'all, there's plenty of integration in Cobb County - whites, blacks, mexicans, indians, koreans, vietnamese, nigerians, everything, and has been for years.



The county borders right on Atlanta proper.


Forsyth County tho - just a couple counties north and to the east, is another story. They didn't have black folkd until oprah marched through there in the late 80s/early 90s. (before her beef with Big Beef)

[LostinVA]

242. Sorry! You're right! I misspoke

I meant Forsyth re: "Oprah." A friend in Atlanta told me it was just two years ago a black family moved into the county. Apologies if she was mistaken.

I remember watching that show, and having all these rednecks babble on about how horrible blacks were, "Except for YOU, Oprah!" (cause you're rich and famous and got me on TV)

[MsTryska]

246. it's okay - I don't know if it's just 2 years ago....

but I moved down here to Atlanta 10 years ago from NYC and hadn't realized i was anywhere near THAT Forsyth County til about 6 months in. *lol*



i'm sensisitve about Cobb tho - we've gotten a really bad rap since the evolution thing, which was a case, at least imo of misguided Political Correctness.

Even tho Cobb is in red state georgia, and we have evolution warnings on our textbooks, trust me - we are NOT a county full off toothless hayseeds. We're a pretty cosmopolitan suburb. Granted we spawned newt Gingrich, but really the people are not that horrible. i swear. Julia Roberts comes form here too and she's a good dem! :p

[ultraist]

212. Brown vs. Boad of Edu 1954, you check your history dude

[in_cog_ni_to]

158. Sweetheart, I'm not a liar, my son is not a liar

and I am at that school CONSTANTLY. I know what goes on. I'm 49 years old. A little too old to be wasting my friggin' time making up anti-Semitic stories for your consumption, OK? Just because YOU didn't experience anti-semitism at your school does not mean it doesn't exist. I'm living it. It's here. Alive and well. This started in Kindergarten when his principle REFUSED to make Yom Kippur and Rosh Hashanah holidays and marked him absent. It's the truth. Sad, isn't it?

[LostinVA]

170. I Just Made my girlfriend email here cousin

Who teaches in NC. Her school district also marks kids absence when they take Yom Kippur, etc., off.

When I was a kid in NJ, we had those days off as holidays.

[ultraist]

213. They do mark them absent

My daughters' Jewish friend gets very upset about this because even though they are not "supposed" to punish them in any way for being absent and must let them make up tests and homework, many of those teachers find ways to knock points off of their grade.

There are a LOT of fundie teachers in NC.

[DARE to HOPE]

298. Well, something has to be worked out...

...because I saw a Muslim Mom on local Chicago news just a week or two ago asking for the very same thing, for the Muslim kids to get their holidays off without absence, or at least without tests.

We had a Zoroastrian family in our school district a few years ago, complained about EVERYTHING, music, holidays, food. What is a public school system to do? When does the "one family in a school district" get to dictate the predominant culture. And where in the rest of the world does this happen?

[Colorado Blue]

304. Hey - my nieces have run into BLATANT antisemitism up

in the pristine mountains of Colorado. It's in the air. Comments that would have been unthinkable in polite society a generation ago are now common.

The kids are picking up their parents' toxicity. But additionally, the filth spread by the white supremacists is spreading via the 'net and music and through various religious organizations and of couse Bushco is exploiting ALL of our fears and making the diversity of America into great divides.

Alas, this is no bad dream. IMO it's only a matter of time before slurs turn into violence.

[ultraist]

204. What fucking denial

I have children in public school and if you think the schools are perfect and that xenophobic comments aren't slung around, you are really fucking naive.

Furthermore, if you have not noticed an increase in the culture of hate, you are not paying attention.

How presumptious for an 18 year old kid to tell a mother she is lying.

[LeftyMom]

277. "isn't possible"

That's horseshit.

I don't want to give away my exact age here, but let's just say I graduated high school sometime during the Clinton era. My younger sister graduated four years later from the same school and little changed in that time. I never heard "dirty jew" (probably because there were only handfully of Jewish families and most of them were Messianic and arguably not Jewish at all) but I heard quite a few racial taunts directed at recent immigrants by thier more assimilated brethren. I also heard more than a few religious cracks, some said by teachers about other teachers.

I don't recall anybody being punished or even questioned for that sort of behavior.

Oddly I've had people direct anti-semetic remarks at me outside the school setting. I'm not Jewish by religion or ancestry, but apparently that doesn't matter if you "look Jewish," whatever that means.

Just because you went to Happy Valley High it does't mean everybody's kids do.

[coffeenap]

103. I am sorry you have not had the life experience to perceive how

different communities can be. Move out, go to a new place where you don't know anyone--start adulthood with a blank slate. You will learn things you can't yet imagine--and I mean this in a POSITIVe way, with a mom's love.

[LostinVA]

139. I have several relatives who are teachers NOW

And this DOES still go on.

Forget the anti-semitism angle of it. Just call it bullying. It happens in every school. EVERY frigging school. Some school districts are great about immediately stopping it and having zero tolerance. Many are not. Here in VA an anti-bullying law was just passed... FINALLY.... to FORCE schools to address this.

[Spacejet]

140. I agree there is bullying

that's a different story. Just this TYPE of bullying, and the administrations supposed "we could give a damn" attituide, is the issue.

[LostinVA]

150. This type of bullying goes on all the time

Until they realize they'll get into trouble for doing it, then shut up and just think it... except for calling someone a "fag," that still seems to be Kay. There are always a few kids that don't acre if they get into trouble for their hate. It happens all the time, except apparently for conservative schools in Texas.

[RetroLounge]

190. What a bunch of bullshit...

B'Bye...

:eyes:

RL

[Guaranteed]

94. I don't see anything extraordinary or doubtful about any of

those things.

[Padraig18]

101. Nor do I.

And I'm not quite 22.

[LostinVA]

134. No, you wouldn't

Necessarily be contacted 10 minutes later. Again, depends on the school district. Also, I've lived in some pretty redneck parts of NC and VA, and the whole school administration WAS anti-Semitic, homophobic, and racist. In small towns, people know the non-public faces of people. And, the OP said that there was at least one teacher that was supportive. Certain religions teach anti-Semitism, even though they don't call it that. Some of my family members went to a Nazarene Church for a few years, and left when a new pastor gave a sermon on how Jews killed Jesus.

[Shakespeare]

148. HAHAHAHAHAHA! Well, there went YOUR credibility.

A 19-year-old lecturing on BS and logical fallacies and what is and is not possible in non-urban Illinois?

Oh, that's just rich.

[Name removed]

174. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[leftynyc]

226. Graduated high school last year???

Sonny/Missy, you got some growing up to do....welcome to the real world.

[da_chimperor]

105. That's bullshit.

I went to 3 different public high schools in 2 states. None had video surveillance and only one had two cops there for about 4 hours out of the whole school day. Do you actually think that every high school has all that security? I sure as hell don't.

[Spacejet]

108. Most do now

nt

[Padraig18]

112. I haven't been out of high school that long, and I call 'bullshit'

:eyes:

[da_chimperor]

113. Prove it. Or stop with the bullshit. n/t

[Spacejet]

125. We've got them at every school in my district

but then again I suppose my word doesn't mean much. Here's some quick yahoo search results

http://www.fcw.com/geb/articles/2004/1206/web-school-12-09-04.asp

http://www.cnn.com/2003/EDUCATION/08/12/classroom.cameras.ap/

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/6910590/

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/6963319/

[da_chimperor]

146. Yes, every school in YOUR district

do you think that you know everything about all the security arrangements for every school district in the united states of America? I hope not. Just because a a district in Mississippi has cameras in every room doesn't mean that all school districts do, even in the same state. Oh, and this bit of the CNN article shows why:
"The cameras were paid for with casino revenue received by the district, which has 6,500 students."
Do you think that every school district in the country gets casino revenue? Posting stores about two school districts and two individual schools with cameras is kinda pointless, don't you think? Anyway, it's been fun but I have more important things to do now, so have fun being ignored! :hi:

[Padraig18]

155. Key phrase: "my district"

Your district is just that--- yours. That doesn't mean that everyone's district is the same.

:eyes:

[Spacejet]

164. No kidding

Check the links of OTHER districts doing it?

I never said ALL schools in the nation do it - but a fair share of them do.

[Padraig18]

168. 'fair share of them' does not mean HER son's does.

Do you even know where Bourbonnais IL is, or what sort of community it is?

:eyes:

[Padraig18]

109. I went to high school in Chicago, and we didn't even have that stuff.

:wtf:

[LostinVA]

152. My niece and nephew go to high school in OK

And they don't have this stuff, either. And it's a HUGE school. And, they have kids calling each other all kinds of foul names all the time.

[LostinVA]

128. No, they don't

Many, many schools can't afford books, let alone "Resource Officers." I have relatives who teach in Oklahoma, NJ, NC, and PA... and none of their schools have cops. It depends on where you live, problems in schools, and school budgets.

[Spacejet]

132. Resource officers?

Never heard of that. I'm talking real cops - not rent a cops. It doesn't cost the school anything.

[LostinVA]

156. That IS a cop

Gosh, I thought you knew everything about schools nowadays? The school districts where I live call them "Resource Officers." They are real cops from the local police that are permanently assigned to schools so they can get to known the kids. The county schools have them but the city schools don't.

This is like shooting fish in a barrel. No sport to it. I'm gonna go run. Thought I'd let you know that, Spacejet, so you don't think I'm intimidated by your knowledge. Have fun.

[Spacejet]

167. I assumed you were talking about rent a cops

otherwise why would the school have to pay for them as was your original concern?

[LostinVA]

173. Umm... Cops don't work for free.

It's in the school's operating budget. I expect most school districts have to "reimburse" the Police.

[in_cog_ni_to]

144. Our school was just on the local Chicago News for having THE BEST SECURITY

SYSTEM. What the hell does that have to do with my son being verbally abused on a daily basis? They don't have cameras throughout the school. What kind of school did you attend? Our school does NOT have camears all over the place. I KNOW. I work there every week. Kids are not dumb. They take advantage of any time a teacher isn't looking or when a teacher leaves the room or when a teacher arrives late to class. Please. You're argument is just preposterous.

[Name removed]

160. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[Padraig18]

171. Do you know anything about her town?

I do, since I grew up not all that far from it. If anyone has no credibility on this subject, it's you.

[Padraig18]

185. *crickets*

The silence is deafening.

[Padraig18]

201. A virtual *cricket* symphony.

Just as I though, when called on specifics.

:eyes:

[Behind the Aegis]

199. Credibility issues

The only one I see with credibility issues is YOU! You have not lived in this town (the one the OP speaks of) yet YOU seem to know more than her. I think there is another issue in play here, and since you are so much smarter than the rest of us, I'll let you discern what that issue is!

Just because a place has cameras, does not mean that discrimination cannot take place. If you believe that then you have a false sense of security.

Anti-semitism is a real problem in this country and if you deny that, then there is some research you need to do!

Therefore, since you cannot back up your allegations that the OP is "making this up," it might be better to offer a suggestion to correct the situation rather than spinning your wheels on the fact that you think YOU are right, and she is wrong.

[Name removed]

180. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[11 Bravo]

215. I've been a public school teacher for 31 years.

We have neither cops, nor video cameras "all over the place". You either don't know what you're talking about, you're simply full of shit, or you approve of the abuse the OP's child has been subjected to. In any case, are sure you are logged on to the right site?

[Guaranteed]

67. You did the right thing. Let him defend himself.

Sounds like he's doing good, too. Even if the principal punishes him, he has his self-respect.

Keep up the good work. :)

[Karenina]

75. Speaking as one

who integrated my classes from grades 2-11, I would suggest you ask HIM if he wants to stay in the system there or not. Please PM me when you have time. Shabbat Shalom.

[question everything]

84. I suppose none of these "educators" are aware that Jesus was a Jew

not to mention Jesus' teaching for tolerance and the Golden Rule.

Most Jewish communities have a Relations Commission that deals with precisely these type of problems.

Find a Jewish Federation in the nearest city close to you - you may have to go all the way to Chicago or St. Louis. They should be able to advise you, may even send reps to talk to the school board.

[immoderate]

86. Document everything. Keep an anecdotal. Sue their ass.

I hope you own that school.

--IMM

[bloom]

88. I don't have the answer

but I think it is sad that people have to have gangs or groups of like-minded people to be able to live without harassment.

It's very sad to hear about this happening.

I hope the school board or legal remedies help.

[gulfcoastliberal]

92. As the only Jew in a Catholic boarding school, I can relate

Lets just say my parents decided I shoud be away from my friends during the 9th grade and gave me the choice of some desert military academy or a Catholic school on the gulf coast of Mississippi. I chose the Catholic school because it was only about 2 miles from my grandparents place.

Boy, talk about anti-semitism. I got into more fights than I can remember. The funny thing is, they never really punished me because I'd usually kick ass (6 years ju-jitsu). They'd punish the loser who started fucking with me since they'd usually run screaming to the Brothers after I destroyed them - they punished the squealers rather than the victors.

I feel for your son - I got called every name in the book at that place, plus they pressured me to convert to christianity. He did the right thing by kicking that nazi thug's ass. And that nazi school is violating your civil/religious rights, at least those enshrined in the old republic.

[ultraist]

217. Survival skills

They are very important. I'm very glad my son knows how to fight and how to deter fights. He's also verbally quick on his feet and has developed a lot of skills to deal with racism.

Every kid needs to learn basic survival skills but particularly children who are a minority in situations. We did role playing when the kids were little so they felt more prepared if they were faced with bullies.

I imagine, things may have been a lot worse for you, if you did not know how to fight. Bullies would have had a hey day. Not to minimize your experience, but the vulunerable are easy prey for the predators.

As a female, there have been times I wished I knew ju-jitsu! LOL!

[in_cog_ni_to]

222. You poor thing.

I feel for you. I truly do. That had to be the longest school year of your life. Did your parents know what was happening to you at that school? I would have been in Mississippi so fast your head would spin. We must protect our babies from that crap. They will see enough as adults...babies should be protected from it if at all possible. We must fight it.

My son will ALWAYS be "my baby." ;) I'm so sorry you had to go through that. My heart breaks for you too. :hug:

[readmoreoften]

93. When I was a young Jew in NJ in the 80s

The kids in public school used to throw pennies at me and make the 'worship the devil' comments. Sorry that it hasn't gotten any better. :(

[fortyfeetunder]

107. Buy the book "Hate Hurts" for your kid's school library

http://www.uua.org/re/reach/winter02/curriculum/hate_hurts.html

The Anti-Defamation League wrote this book and I think it's a winner and it has age-appropriate discussion. You might want to get the principal and school board a copy too.

I am sorry your child had to endure such bigoted ignorance from children and adults.

[Lydia Leftcoast]

118. "Creating a hostile atmosphere" is considered discrimination under

civil rights law.

It sounds like you have a case for religious discrimination, especially if you have complained to the school and they are doing nothing about it.

I'm also appalled that they are not giving your son excused absences for the HIgh Holidays. I grew up in a medium-sized city in Wisconsin during the 1950s, and the Jewish kids (there were one or two per class) always got excused absences for their holidays, just as the Greek Orthodox kids got excused absences for their holidays (which are Christian, but still follow the Julian calendar).

You need a civil rights lawyer.

[minerva50]

121. You might check out the local Catholic school

In our area, at least, they take children of all faiths. My nephew attends one and is much happier than he was at the public school. He is a shy, nerdy kid and was picked on a lot. The Catholic school doesn't put up with that kind of nonsense. It's smaller, they know all the kids and they can enforce more civil behavior. The boy is thriving, he has friends and is doing much better academically.

[mark414]

176. i would call the ADL or ACLU

or both

sue the school, ignorant bastards

and get your kid some boxing lessons...my jewish roommate has had similar experiences, until he started lifting weights...then people tended to leave him alone

[JNelson6563]

182. Sorry to hear that about your son

How awful. I remember being very young and being openly discriminated against and it was hurtful. Confusing too.

Julie

[IndianaGreen]

186. Anti-Semitism is on the rise in America

There was a story about a rash of anti-Semitic attacks in the Houston area that was posted in LBN, and reposted in I/P forum for us bottom feeders (http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=124&topic_id=87114#87146).

All of us have experiences anti-Semitism in some form or another throughout our lives, but after a long period of time in which the bigots had gone "underground," there appears to be a resurgence of it at home and abroad. Anti-Semitism is no longer confined to the usual suspects, but it has roots even among certain elements of the Left. At our last peace march a few weeks ago, one of the speakers told the crowd that the war in Iraq was for O-I-L, the "I" being for Israel, the implication being that all Jews were responsible for Bush's folly.

Things are getting ugly out there!

[Name removed]

189. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[Lars39]

197. Furthering the Great Commission so that the Rapture

will occur is the reason fundamentalist "christians" aim to convert Jews.
It is a despicably dishonest practice.
Israel is not blameless; Sharon and the folks
supporting his policies DO have blood on their hands.

You would think that seeking justice and peace for all wouldn't
just be a hallmark of the "Left",
but would be the goals of fundamentalist christians also.
Beating the war drums and bombing the shit out of people
is what the US fundamentalists christians will always be known for.
Blessed are the peacemakers.

[Behind the Aegis]

209. What is your point?!

Do you deny that there has been a rise in anti-Semitism? Yes, there are some good people out there, but to deny that there is also a real problem is short-sighted, at best. Anti-Semitism is on the rise from BOTH sides! To say any different is not accurate.

[ultraist]

219. Yes, he denys that FACT

And claims the mother of the OP is lying.

What a load of fundie crap.

[in_cog_ni_to]

228. You should have see our Synagogue right after 911.

They had to hire police to stand guard at the parking lot entrance, at the front door and inside in the hallway while the High Holy Days services were going on. Sad. Very, very sad.

[barb162]

237. were there threats? I am surprised and also wondering why.

I thought the threats were against mosques right after 9/11...I saw that on TV and read of it, especially in the Bedford Park area of Chicago where there is a high number of Arabs. I literally had no idea there were "threats" or whatever at any synagogues. Whoa, shows you what I don't know.

[in_cog_ni_to]

243. Remeber that story about the Jews celebrating in the street after 911?

I "think" they were suppose to have been in NY??? just blocks away from the Towers? When the planes hit the towers they supposedly cheered and were some how implicated in 911. Yes, the synagogue had received threats and had to call in the police for protection. It was a sad day. :(

[barb162]

249. No, I don't remember that...the only "cheering" in the streets I

remember were some of the shots of the Arab street in countries where the people were celebrating in the streets, shooting off their guns and where the women were making those high-pitched sounds. I was in total S-H-O-C-K seeing that after the towers fell.

(PS I can't believe how far off topic this has gone in some spots and with some posters from your original post.)

[ultraist]

257. That is very sad indeed.

Those fundies are nuts. I really wonder if they are a cover for the KKK, seriously.

[Colorado Blue]

306. Agreed. I think we Americans need to take a deep breath

and examine our motives and our souls. I especially speak to liberals and progressives because we are not supposed to be rascist. It is part of tradition for some other factions in America to be rascist. But that is NOT part of our value structure.

It doesn't ring true to hold a "peace rally" that slanders people and employs rascist symbols. I speak of people who slather swastikas on the Star of David.

It doesn't make sense to trumpet "human rights", then propogate hate speech.

It doesn't make sense to concoct conspiracy theories that ALL involve the traditional scapegoat - Jewish people - while ignoring the FACT of terrorism.

It doesn't make sense to support the rights of Palestinian people while ignoring the rights of Israelis.

It doesn't make sense to suggest that Jewish people in Tel Aviv blew themselves up to make the Arabs look bad, while whispering NOT A SOUND about the FACT of the insurgency in Iraq murdering thousands of innocent Iraqis.

We need to look in the mirror and recognize that the liberal community, of all the unlikely groups, is contributing to the growth of antisemitism in America.

We need to get back to our roots of FIGHTING rascism, not propogating it.

[Name removed]

187. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[JI7]

195. good for him for beating the other kid up

i normally wouldn't say this. but based on the history of his experience and nobody doing anything about it i would side with him on this and he shouldn't be punished. it's obvious there are bigots among the school officials which is why you are having a tough time getting them to do something.

i would look into naacp, jewish rights, and other civil rights organizations to see what they have done in the past and whether they can help you out.

[in_cog_ni_to]

227. If they give him a detention for this

they will wish they hadn't. If he does get a detention, he's not going to show up and the fight will begin.

I've tried calling the ACLU, Illinois, at 1:30 my time and they weren't in. I'll try again after I pick my son up at school That may be better anyway because I want to hear what happened with the principle today.

I filed an anti-semitic incident report with the ADL and emailed the JDL. I hope to hear from someone soon. I'll post it if I do.

I may contact our Rabbi tonight and see if she (yes, a she :)...Reform) can offer some advice. Thanks for your help. :hug:

[MsTryska]

220. Well as the only Indian girl growing up in Upstate New York

I feel your son's pain.


One thing my Mom did when someone picked on any of us that way was speak with the other kids parents.


Some of them would be ugly about it, but i don't remember even one kid who kept picking on any of us after that. even if there parents were rude to my mom.

[2bfree]

229. Bless his heart............

That is really terrible. I have no idea why kids (and grown-ups) have to be so cruel. I wish your son luck in finding a solution.

[Blue Diadem]

230. Call the ACLU and a lawyer

If the school isn't willing to do something about the situation, then the only recourse is getting someone else involved, hence my suggestion.

[flyarm]

231. ahhh its the hardest part of being a parent!! but this is what i did

i feel so for you as a mom and for your son!!

although i am catholic i am non practicing..my family moved to L.A. for my work when my son was in jr high from kansas..it was a huge awakening...we have a hispanic last name but my son grew up in many states and may as well have been smith than the last name we have..my husband is both american indian and spanish ( spain) when we first went to L.a. we were in mission viejo and my son was treated like a lowly "wetback" is what he was called..wow..that was a blow for all of us..but we didnt stay there long..it broke my heart..i had no answers for that kind of predjudice..and i had never experienced predjudice in my life time..i am anglo..so it was all new to me..but my husband knew it well...

whe we moved up to the valley we put our son into public school..in a very wealthy area...but unbeknownst to us..the school had gang members put into it in a hiding program for the kids who were being rehabilitated..3 weeks into my son starting in that school a kid was shot and killed at the light on the corner of the school property where my son was standing to cross the street to walk home a block away..my son saw the kid shot..and he was terrified..this gang kid was put in the school to hide him..he was from so. central l.a. in the hiding program..( of which i knew nothing about until then)
well after raising my son in kansas we were so insolated in kansas..this was a rude awakening for us..

i immediately began a search for a private school..and the best there was was a luteran jr high which was a feeder for the best rpivate school which was a catholic fransciscan school.

well we moved him into those school immediately.
but in the catholic high school religion was a must..so i made my son accept that...i was an activist for pro choice..so my son spent alot of time with me at protests..
well my son got a teacher who was dismayed that my son had not gotten the sacraments and the teacher treated my son like he was a "wet back" she was condensending to my son .,.i have always felt that as an adult he can decide what he is..and i would no impose bullshit on him...
well this teacher he had made fun of my son..not other kids ..the teacher..,.my son was a straight A student and all AP classes..and when this teacher tried to endocrinate my son with pro life stuff and abortion is murder crap..my son argued with her..and the teacher did not hide her predjudice to my son being hispanic..not at all!

and the arguing went on for a full semester..my son would come home crying..and i would tell him.,.in life you have to fight for what you believe in..not what others tell you..but whats in your heart..but to educate himself so he had the truth and information to back his beliefs..,.so he began reading about pro choice issues and he would go into class loaded with facts..i took him to the library and we looked for someone who had great life struggles so he could use that person as someone he could relate to and who made him feel good about himself..i told him margaret meade was my idol..and i told him why ..so we searched for someone for him..it worked well!!

the teacher called me in and i said i do not believe in filling my sons head with bullshit..and that i had full confidence he would make the right choices for himself with the power of educating himself with facts ..not idealism or propaganda..or ideological b.s.

well the first grading period my son got a "d" from this teacher..
my son was crushed as he said it was the only class he worked at! and it was religion! he had straight A's for the rest of his grades..

i sat him down and i told him that that "d" was the proudest grade i thought he ever got..because he did the research and he stood for what he believed in..and was not swayed to just be passive to get along..and apease anyone.
next grade period ... another "d"..so at that point, my husband and i were a bit fuming to say it nicely...so i went to kinkos and i had a banner made ..and i wrapped our home with the banner..so when my son got home from school he would know how proud we were that he was a free thinker...

the banner said.."mom and dad are so proud of our son who is an incredible young man with a mind of his own"

i kid you not i had it wrapped around the garages and the whole front of the house!
the third and last marking period..another "d"...so my son was on the baseball team and football team..there were many celebrities kids in my sons school and on his teams...well by the third marking period i had had it with this teacher..but i knew it was a lesson in my sons life i could not isolate him from..he had to learn to stand up for what he believed in and he had to fight for his beliefs and for who he was!!..but he also had to learn that there are consequences many times for ones beliefs...but i also knew we needed to support his fighting for his beliefs...
so when the 3rd report card came with the third "d"..my husband and i hired one of those planes that flys with the messages

and we hired it to fly over the foot ball field during a big football game..it was packed..

and the sign said .."we are proud of you ( my sons name) believe in yourself always!"

well of course that sign flying over the stadium opened up alot of dialog...and people were asking what it meant and we told everyone what was being done to our son...

and the entire school got behind my son ..teachers, and parents and kids...and the teacher was made to appologise to my son and the school administrator wanted to change the grades..we would not let him...

and even to today..i believe that made my son a free thinker , and to have a mind of his own..and the ability to fight for what he believes in..and yes even with me!! it made my son sensitve to others feeling and beliefs and to be open minded enough to listen to both sides of every story..and to respect others for who they were ..and to never ever have predjudice in his heart.

it sucks what is being done to your son...but somehow you need to turn it into a learning tool..and by teaching him to fight is a good thing..he will fight predjudice his entire life..and he will experience ingorance everywhere his entire life...
i can't tell you its easy..its not and it sucks to see our children be hurt by ignorance ..and predjudice..but somehow you can turn it around and make him see others have struggled to stand up for what they believe and believe in and who they are!!..take him to the library..and find books on inspirational people..as most of the most inspirational people have had real serious hard life lessons..and hard fought for lessons..
teach him to fight , but teach him to use his intelligence to educate the ignorant..and praise him over and over for standing up for himself and who he is and what he believes in.. tell him to never give up the pride in who he is for anything or any body..tell him there is a world of people who love to knock others down because they don't feel good about themselves...but he does not have to stoop to their level..he must always bring others up to his level,.,

but most of all..you can't do this enough..praise your son for who he is..make sure he knows every step of the way..how proud you are of him..
that helps the lessons of life work for him instead of against him!!

my son graduated college with a 4.0 and was on deans list his entire college yrs..and he was an athelete and he was the first athelete in his college to graduate in 4 yrs.,.and the first in 14 yrs to graduate with a 4.0...he was named to 3 of the top honor societies ..

i look back at the crap he took from this teacher...and i think it was a very valuable lesson for my son...

he learned to survive someone who wanted to knock him down!! he did it peacefully, and with integrity ..and he learned it is good to stand up for who he is and what he believes.

i pray your son can get through the ignorance and predjudice..and the stupidity that kids have to put up with ..as good as my son did .

being a parent is the hardest job you will ever have...and most painful!!
i send you my kindest thoughts, and love..i hate what you are going through!! but more important i hate what your son is experiencing!

sending you hugs ..and heartfelt support!!
fly :hug: :hug: :hug:

[barb162]

241. that sign flying over the stadium was brave!!!!

[elehhhhna]

247. a gang-in-hiding rehab program? cripes now I've heard it all.

Nice secret arrangement. Well, not for the non-gang kids...

Imagine the liability.

[in_cog_ni_to]

254. fly...you are awesome!

To put it mildly! Your son HAS to be an amazing young man because his mom is an amazing woman. :hug:

When I have to go to my son's school for this stuff, I get so emotional. My voice shakes and I almost cry. I hate it. I go in there so angry and end almost crying? I hate to show those people my sadness and vulnerability because I think they find joy in it. I just hate having to deal with this crap in 2005.

He is forever defending his friends who are African American and Latino. He KNOWS what it's like to be discriminated against and always stands up for his friends of color for that reason. He hears the "N" word ALL the time and constantly tells the kids to stop it and if they don't, he goes to the principle or teacher with the info. I'm sure THAT doesn't make the little bigots happy either. ;)

He already has empathy for others. He lives in this L-I-B-E-R-A-L house. He knows good and bad and right and wrong. He understands that the world is full of hatred and bigotry, not just toward him, but others of different ethnic backgrounds and will always stand up for the child/person being picked on. Always. That's a good start. :)

I went through a horrible "incident" with my younger brother. I wanted to have my parents move into a retirement community where dad would have medical care on-call at all times (he's very sick) and the retirement community is an old Days Inn hotel that has been turned into a very nice complex for retirees and their spouses. They had their meals cooked, laundry washed, doctors available around the clock, free bus service to anywhere they needed to go, ect... but it's in an African American community. Me? So what! It's an awesome place! My brother? "I'm not putting my parents in a retirement community in "N" town!" I kid you not! I haven't spoken to him since and my son said..."I cannot believe Uncle **** is a racist! That makes me sick!" :hug: That's my boy! He was truly shocked that his uncle, MY brother, had said that. That isn't how we live our lives.

I know he will only be a better person for what he's going through. It breaks my heart though. He's such a nice, kindhearted and just plain old sweet little boy who wouldn't hurt anyone's feelings on purpose...ever. We ALWAYS support him in his battles with this and he knows there are not any other people on this earth who could possibly be more proud of their son. ;) He's a very PROUD Jew and always will be.

Thank you so much for your post. You made me feel so much better. :hug: You are the best!

[flyarm]

278. ohhh honey..it sounds like

you are doing everything right..sometimes we must just trust ourselves.,it has always seemed to odd to me that we get instructions for the most mundane things..and yet we get no instructions in the most difficult thing we will ever do..and that is to raise our kids, to be productive , well balanced kind hearted people!!

but from the sounds of your son...don't change a thing...sounds to me like you are on the right tract and he sounds like a wonderful boy...
i think the words that got me through all the trials and tribulations were..."and this too shall pass"!!! and give a good look up to the sky and roll your eyes!!!

YOUR LITTLE BOY HAS A GOOD MOMMA...now trust yourself!! and enjoy him with all your love!!

before you know it..you will be like me..he will be gone and growing in his life..and you will miss him each and every day!! and you will wonder where the time went!!

huggies...fly

[Megahurtz]

233. Egads....

Der Furher and the fascist attitude is alive and well, thanks to the fascists in D.C.:(

[Danmel]

236. I'm sorry your son has to hear this crap

I live on Long Island in a pretty Jewish community and my daughter has heard remarks made to Jewish kids in the school. She also has heard remarks made to Indian kids- she came home one day and asked me if she'd get in trouble if she got detention- she wanted to hit some girl who was taunting an Indian friend of hers. A friend of hers was taunted after his bar mitzvah- he is a big boy too- so the kids a mean to him, even though he is a nice kid. The school is racially and ethnically diverse and it appears that there is alot of name calling and the like going on.

You have to have your head in the sand to not acknowledge that a lot of this goes on.

With respect to the marked absent for religious holidays, I'd go to the school board and if that fails, I'd contact the ADL- www.adl.org and your local Chicago media. Even here, the district sometimes screws up and schedules exams on religious holidays- last year I had a fight with them because they had a mandatory concert for orchestra on a religious holiday- one that was clearly marked on the district calendar. They told me she could just skip it and not lose points, but of course, she had been working very har d for the concert- why should she have to miss it? They ended up moving the concert when I threatened to sue the district.

I'd speak to the school board, then the ADL and a lawyer- And tell your son that there are people in the world who have nothing good to do or say about anyone. They are the ones with the problem, not him. He should hold his head high and of someone gives him grief, he should give it right back to them. Good luck- let us know what happens.

[Swamp Rat]

250. File lawsuits against the principle and parents of the children.

Go after the principle, personally. Make sure he is fired and never allowed to be near children again. Write the to the local newspapers and state congress. Make their lives a living HELL! They obviously hate you and all Jewish people and want you gone. They are your enemies forever. Gather evidence of their bigotry and then attack attack attack!!! :mad:

[dsc]

251. This is truely appaling

and I hope you can find some resolution. You have gotten some great tips from people and I don't have a whole lot to add.

I do have to say though, it interests me the completely different reactions to this thread and the one where a parent had a similar complaint about her son being called a cracker. I looked at close to every post in this thread and not one was negative. Which is as it should have been. Yet the 'cracker' thread was quite a different story.

[in_cog_ni_to]

258. Well, there were negative posts, but he's been banned....tombstoned.

What's a "cracker?" I've never heard that term before. It must not be nice. :(

Kids are so cruel. Damn.

[barb162]

259. a cracker is low-life white trash, at least the way I've heard it used

think the characters in the novel "Tobacco Road" but I missed the part about "crackers" in here as I haven't read every post

[in_cog_ni_to]

262. OMG. How sad. n/t

[flyarm]

280. kids are generally a

product of their enviornment..not always...there is never an always when it comes to kids..but generally they learn hate from those they are around or who they grow up with!!
its why i usually don't blame kids for ignorance, but i blame the parents!!

fly

[barb162]

252. You can file a Title VI complaint with the US Dept. of Education,

Office of Civil Rights
online because I think these damn bullies are violating your kid's civil rights and the damn school is doing shit about it. There is no reason your kid or you should have to put up with this crap in this day and age

http://www.ed.gov/about/offices/list/ocr/docs/howto.html

notice the part below on student treatment, 2nd paragraph


"The Office for Civil Rights (OCR) enforces several federal civil rights laws that prohibit discrimination in programs or activities that receive federal financial assistance from the Department of Education (ED). Discrimination on the bases of race, color, and national origin is prohibited by Title VI of the Civil Rights Act of 1964; sex discrimination is prohibited by Title IX of the Education Amendments of 1972; discrimination on the basis of disability is prohibited by Section 504 of the Rehabilitation Act of 1973 and Title II of the Americans with Disabilities Act of 1990 (Title II prohibits discrimination on the basis of disability by public entities, whether or not they receive federal financial assistance); and age discrimination is prohibited by the Age Discrimination Act of 1975.


"These civil rights laws enforced by OCR extend to all state education agencies, elementary and secondary school systems, colleges and universities, vocational schools, proprietary schools, state vocational rehabilitation agencies, libraries, and museums that receive federal financial assistance from ED. Programs or activities that receive ED funds must provide aids, benefits, or services in a nondiscriminatory manner. Such aids, benefits, or services may include, but are not limited to: admissions, recruitment, financial aid, academic programs, student treatment and services, counseling and guidance, discipline, classroom assignment, grading, vocational education, recreation, physical education, athletics, housing, and employment."



How to File A Discrimination Complaint With The Office For Civil Rights
Office for Civil Rights
U.S. Department of Education
400 Maryland Avenue, S.W.
Washington, D.C. 20202-1100
1-800-421-3481
FAX: [phone]; TDD: [phone]
E-mail: [e-mail]
Web: http://www.ed.gov/ocr/

WHAT TO DO

Anyone wishing to file a formal complaint with OCR should submit in writing the following information in a letter or on the Discrimination Complaint Form available from OCR enforcement offices (see listing):

Your name and address (a telephone number where you may be reached during business hours is helpful, but not required);
A general description of the person(s) or class of persons injured by the alleged discriminatory act(s) (names of the injured person(s) are not required);
The name and location of the institution that committed the alleged discriminatory act(s); and
A description of the alleged discriminatory act(s) in sufficient detail to enable OCR to understand what occurred, when it occurred, and the basis for the alleged discrimination (race, color, national origin, sex, disability, age, or the Boy Scouts of America Equal Access Act).
HOW TO FILE AN ONLINE COMPLAINT

OCR encourages students and parents, representatives of education institutions, and other OCR customers to use e-mail or fax to communicate with OCR, whenever possible. Also, complainants may file a complaint with OCR, online, at the following website: http://www.ed.gov/ocr/complaintprocess.html.

For those without current e-mail accounts, Internet access may be freely available from your local public library, and free e-mail accounts are available from several large providers.

A recipient may not retaliate against any person who has made a complaint, testified, assisted or participated in any manner in an investigation or proceeding under the laws listed above.

WHO CAN FILE

Anyone who believes that an educational institution that receives Federal financial assistance has discriminated against someone on the basis of race, color, national origin, sex, disability, or age, or who believes that a public elementary or secondary school, or State or local education agency has violated the Boy Scouts of America Equal Access Act, may file a complaint. The person or organization filing the complaint need not be a victim of the alleged discrimination, but may complain on behalf of another person or group.

TIMELINESS

A complaint must be filed within 180 calendar days of the date of the alleged discrimination, unless the time for filing is extended by OCR for good cause.

INSTITUTIONAL GRIEVANCE PROCEDURES

Prior to filing a complaint with OCR against an institution, a potential complainant may want to find out about the institution's grievance process and use that process to have the complaint resolved. A complainant is not required by law to use the institutional grievance procedure before filing a complaint with OCR. If a complainant uses an institutional grievance process and also chooses to file the complaint with OCR, the complaint must be filed with OCR within 60 days after the last act of the institutional grievance process.


WHERE TO WRITE (see Note)



MIDWESTERN DIVISION

Illinois, Indiana, Minnesota, Wisconsin,
Iowa, North Dakota
Office for Civil Rights, Chicago Office
U.S. Department of Education
111 North Canal Street, Suite 1053
Chicago, IL 60606-7204 [phone]
FAX# [phone]; TDD [phone]


Revised October 2004


here's another good site
http://www.kzoo.edu/psych/stop_bullying/for_parents/general_information.html

[in_cog_ni_to]

260. Thank you so much for this info, barb!

:hug:

[barb162]

263. hugs back! I get madder the more I think about this

Beside that when I was in high school in Chicago I had a Jewish girlfriend and she and her sister were the only ones in that very large school as far as I know. And we are still friends as I am older than you (as I noticed you put your age down here somewhere or other) and that means we have been friends for decades. And to think some brats are name-calling and worse in 2005 AD, well, it is too much. I never, ever, ever, remember anyone in that huge school (3000+ students) calling her anything regarding her heritage. Never! And that was a long time ago. She would wear a mazuzah (sp?) and be open about her heritage. No one, I repeat no one, ever bashed her or disciminated or harassed her for being Jewish. This is so incomprehensible to me. Primal scream.

[independentchristian]

253. I have a suggestion

Tell him to just ignore it and move on.

Who cares what other people think about you? I don't, and no one should.

I refuse to let other people's opinions of me dictate my life.

[barb162]

255. that's like telling a black parent to ignore a kid being called a nigger

Are you serious? This child's civil rights are being violated, for pete's sake!

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

264. I wish you had private messages enabled

There's some enlightening DU threads I'd like to send to you, but not in public.

[barb162]

265. can you sort of give me the gist

[countingbluecars]

261. Was the matter addressed today?

Did you receive a call from the principal? How are they going to deal with the incident? You should have been contacted by the school yesterday.

[in_cog_ni_to]

282. No. The school did not contact me today and

my son said he wasn't called to the office, but his PE teacher said today "If Mr. French (the assistant principle) doesn't deal with this, I will." I asked my son HOW his PE teacher would deal with it? and he said he would probably give him detention. I said, "If he gives you detention, you're not going." My son replied, "If I don't go that means I have to do an hour of detention on a Saturday." I said, "I don't care what he tries to do, you're not going to detention for this." He replied, "Mom, I really don't want to make an issue out of this." <sigh>

I asked him at dinner if he would like to change schools and he said, "Are you asking me if I would want to change school districts and leave all of my friends?" I replied, "Well, yes, I guess that's what I'm asking you." He replied, "No way! I'm NOT leaving my friends and changing schools! Mom, I REALLY don't want to make an issue out of this!" <sigh> I told him we could look up North for a school with more Jewish students and he refuses to change schools. "No way!" He likes the friends he has and I can surely understand him not wanting to change schools. I had to change schools when I was in 4th grade and was traumatized by it. I really missed my friends, so I can relate. He told me I would just make things WORSE if I went to the school again! :cry: That's the LAST thing I want to do.

I'm so torn. I just don't know how to fix this for him or should I even try to? I hate that. I'm his mom. I'm suppose to make things better. I hate to just let this go. That's not me, but I don't want my son to be unhappy at school. If he doesn't want me to intervene, should I? Should I really just let this go like it never happened? I don't know if I can do that. I don't think that's the right thing to do. This crap needs to be stopped in it's tracks. Doesn't it? If it's ignored, will it ever stop? How did Hitler's Germany take hold? I want his school record changed to show he wasn't absent during Yom Kippur and Rosh Hashanah. That's against the law, from what I read here on this thread. I want the name calling to STOP. How do I do that without intervening? Could they possibly deal with this without dealing with the kid who called him a "Dirty Jew?" I don't think so. Then that kid will tell his friends what happened and they will tell their friends and so on and so on and so on. Could handling it that way backfire on him and make it worse like he says it would?

I'm VERY surprised the school didn't contact me today and even MORE surprised that the boys weren't called to the office. That's a first and very curious. It could have just been a busy day in the office with other kids and they just didn't get to my son? I don't know. Monday could be interesting. We'll see. I hope I hear from the ADL or JDL before Monday. I'd really like their input/opinions on this. Maybe a letter from them could prod the district into addressing bullying and religious tolerance without my son's name actually being used? I think THAT may be a way to go. That could be done without my son knowing I initiated it. Maybe? :shrug: I just don't know.

If it was up to just me? I would sue their ass. As a parent, should I take this bull by the horn? I really don't want to hurt my son any more than he's already been hurt. I'm going nuts thinking about this. His opinion on it threw me for a loop. It wasn't what I expected. :( Yesterday he was very upset about it. Today, he doesn't want me to intervene. <sigh>

[countingbluecars]

287. Difficult situation

It sounds to me like the administration may be trying to avoid confrontation and sweep this problem under the rug. It could be because a substitute was in charge that day, or it could be because they know how sensitive the matter is and are just hoping it will go away. If you want the intolerance/ignorance addressed, you need to get in there and make them talk about the problem. I think that needs to be the fair, first step. Having worked in the public school system for many years, I can tell you that parents do make a difference. Talk to the school first. Tell them how serious this is-mince no words. If they refuse to address your concerns, talk to the superintendent. After that-you have received good advice on this thread on how to proceed.

Your son has the benefit of having you for a parent. Obviously you talk to him about being proud of who he is. My guess is a kid who would call your son such a name doesn't have a great home life.

[BoogDoc7]

288. His friends...

Maybe he could get his friends to help.

They probably know the situation just as well as he does, and if the racial slurs are concentrated on a few people...I dunno, but I think you can see where I'm going with this. His friends should help him out here against the bullies.

And the school should be NOT marking him absent for Jewish holidays. Find the law on paper, and show it to the principal. He may just be ignorant of the situation.

The problem would be that your son would get more holidays off than the rest of the children, because he would be off for Christmas, Easter, etc.

[MrSlayer]

269. Don't underestimate the power of a good solid punch to the face.

Fighting is a last resort but sometimes you just have to kick ass to get some respect. Show that you won't take any shit and the bullies back off. It's a just the way it is, especially among kids.

[ckramer]

270. Can you transfer him to a different school?

[tblue37]

273. You have grounds for legal action.

The teachers and administrators of the school are going to be in big trouble if you sue. I would definitely sue or at least force them into a settlement--and maybe get them fired in the bargain.

Kick some ass.

If you can't afford a lawyer, contact the ACLU.

Also look into Legal Aid, but ACLU is probably your best bet.

I would also alert sympathetic newsies. Olberman, for example. He is Jewish, I believe, and he has been on a number of cases recently for our side.

[Geek_Girl]

276. I was picked on quite a bit in school

I was called the "N" word and spic because of my Latin heritage. I never fought with people who called my racial slurs. But I regret it because it still hurts to this day.

The only time I was ever able to stop a bully from picking on me was to punch him in the face. It sounds severe but fighting back is the only way to stop them from picking on your son.

[Maru Kitteh]

281. Take it to your local media, call every T.V. station and newspaper

in a 200 mile radius and SHAME the "*&#ing school into doing something. Including the religious holiday issue. It's all part of the same issue, your family being discriminated against.

Best of luck to you, our family will put you in our prayers tonight.

[cally]

283. A couple of suggestions

Go to the largest temple in your state and ask for advice. I assume that's in Chicago. There will be lawyers there who will help. (I think you live in Illinois) Otherwise contact a temple in another close state and ask for help. They know how to help in situations like these.

Then just for support I'll offer my own experience. I went to a school that had no Jewish students. About 5th or 6th grade, a lone Jewish student transferred in. She was shunned for many reasons. I had my own circle of friends and did not even know (probably chose to not know) that she was bullied or shunned. I probably knew she was Jewish. By happenstance, I was playing tetherball and saw this fellow classmate crying. Another classmate was trying to comfort her. I walked over and asked why. At that time, I was the total 'popular kid' ass but I didn't bully. By some chance, another classmate told me that she was picked on because she was Jewish. It hit me. Somehow a guest minister had mentioned a few months prior that we shouldn't shun Jews since Jesus was a Jew. I won't pretend I changed her life but I did start saying that you shouldn't diss someone because of their religion. Several of us did the same. Not perfectly. Within a few years we were in the same circle of friends. I discussed those years with her in our Senior year. She told me when she started speaking up that she was Jewish and not ashamed that many supported her. Not all, but a few and it made a difference.

[Dem2theMax]

284. I think everyone has given you great advice.

The only thing I can think of to add would be to enroll your son in a defense class of some sort, Karate, Judo, something like that. Make sure he can properly and safely defend himself. It will help him with self-confidence and will let him know that he CAN take care of these situations when they arise. I'm suggesting this because from what you said in your latest post, your son now wants to keep this quiet. So give him some 'tools' he can use to defend himself.

In the meantime, if you decide to not pursue a legal action, at the very least, document everything you have done so far. You can contact the various organizations other posters have mentioned and find out what they would suggest. You don't have to act on it right away, but get yourself prepared. You need 'tools' as well as your son. And good luck. My heart just bleeds for both of you.

[PROGRESSIVE1]

286. Where did this happen?

Also, this sounds like 1930's Germany too me!

I am very concerned.

[Hav]

289. .

Didn't have the time to read all the posts.
I had problems with discrimination, too, though I guess your son has it harder.

What I think is good is that you allow him to defend himself. I was always told to just ignore it. Well, you just can't ignore it and ít's nice to see, that you realised that taking it again and again isn't the solution. It won't stop it. And by having that stance, you show your son that you are aware of his hard situation and he knows that he has your support. That is very important. He knows that you don't regard it as a minor and unimportant problem.

I don't see fights as a good solution but it would be a great mistake not doing anything at all.
It's difficult without the support of the school but what about talking about that problem during a meeting of the parents at school? Talk with them about how hard it is for your son and that their children shouldn't destroy his life. If they aren't some evil bastards, I'm sure that they will begin to understand and talk with their children.

[Maine-ah]

290. go through the chain of command.

If you get no response from these people, get a lawyer. When I was in school, we only had 2 Jewish kids in the whole district. They were brothers. I suspect now there are more, since there is a synagogue in our town. But there was never any discrimination against these boys. We also had one African American boy in our school as well, and there was no discrimination there either. As for what our public school system is now I have no idea, but I just wanted to mention this because there is a poster saying that it is imposible for your child to be the only Jewish kid in the district. Good luck, I hope this gets worked out. Your school district is breaking the law by counting him as absent during the Jewish holidays. :hug:

[NorthSideCubsFan]

294. Hate to say it but some DU'ers

have a bigger problem with a Jewish child being called names in Chicago than Jewish kids being blown to bits in Tel Aviv.

[Colorado Blue]

307. True. nt

[rockymountaindem]

308. Sad but true

[Misunderestimator]

311. Yes, but what has that to do with this thread about a woman's child

and the bigotry he faces? I doubt very much that anyone has MORE concern with a jewish child being called names than with the innocent children being killed in Tel Aviv.

I don't think that that is the advice the OP is looking for here. She's concerned about her child, and the posters are responding to that... the thread is not about children being killed in Tel Aviv.

There are ALWAYS bigger offences than the ones that affect us personally, but it doesn't mean that we shouldn't be able to discuss them.

[bearfan454]

297. Tell the schoolboard you will SUE them

for violating your son's Constitutional Rights. Freedom of religion.

[Renew Deal]

300. That won't work.

The Freedom of Religion is the right to practice religion without government persicution and also not have any religion sanctioned by the gov't. There might be something else such as negligence that they can sue for.

[DARE to HOPE]

302. Yes, you could sue them...

...but then what. What lesson would be learned? (Especially by your son.)

All this talk about religion, how it separates us. But the Parliament of World Religions was in Chicago, too, some 12 years ago or so, complete with the Dalai Lama. And he told us all in Grant Park that one day to go home, and "practice the center" of our respective religions, and we would find each other.

At the center of each, he contended, certainly at the center of Islam, Christianity, Judaism, is the set of things we all hold in common: the welcoming of the stranger, the working for peace....

If that is not why we practice/study our different religious traditions, of what use is it?

[Renew Deal]

299. I went to a heavily Jewish HS.

I don't think we closed down for the jewish holidays. They are marked on the calendar for 05-06, but I'm not sure if they're closed. http://www.bellmore-merrick.k12.ny.us/CALENDAR-2005-2006-final-1-13-05.pdf

I remember that the Jewish kids would have to be home by sunset those nights. They were allowed to leave practice early to make it.

Any religious comments such as "dirty jew" would be enough to get someone suspended. It would be a problem and strictly prohibited. It must be unacceptable to the school, if not, there are serious problems. You may want to contact the ADL for legal advice.

http://www.adl.org

[janx]

301. Public school or no, there are always going to be bigots, incog.

And yes, kids learn that at home.

I'm glad your son finally fought back! As a matter of fact, I wish I'd been there to see it! ;-)

[barb162]

303. on that US Dept. of Education web site they show 4 cases that were

investigated. Here's a small part of the "evergreen" case which I think is germane

"3. It is the position of the student's parent that from November 1998 to January 1999, two caucasian male students (Student B and C) called Student A racial epithets two to three times a week. It is the parent's position that Student A repeatedly notified his teacher of the incidents, but that she took no action. It is also the parent's position that in December 1998, Student C gave a picture of a helicopter to Student A and told him that the helicopter had a gun to shoot African-Americans. In addition, the student's parent stated to OCR that on February 26, 1999, Student C called Student A a racial epithet as they were boarding the afternoon school bus. The parent also stated that Student B called Student A a racial epithet on March 1, 1999.

4. The teacher's position is that she is aware of only one incident involving a racially offensive remark, which occurred on December 17, 1998. On that occasion, the teacher recalled that Student A called Student B a derogatory name, and then Student B called Student A a racial epithet. Student A notified the teacher of the incident, and both students were referred to the associate principal for discipline. In her testimony, the teacher stated that students sometimes call each other derogatory names, but the names are not racially offensive. She further stated that when this occurs, she discusses the consequences of inappropriate statements and name-calling with the class, and uses student exercises and literature to reinforce the discussion.

8. It is the position of the parent that during January 1999, a student at Covington Middle School student called Student A a racial epithet and wrote a derogatory name on Student A's name tag during a junior vocational program involving Student A's class. The student's parent did not notify the district of this incident, and the teacher's position is that she was unaware of this alleged incident. OCR's investigation did not identify any evidence to corroborate that district staff were aware of the incident.

Under Title VI, school officials have an obligation to address certain discriminatory conduct by students toward other students where a school district knows, or has reason to know, that such discriminatory conduct occurred on the basis of race, color or national origin. In analyzing the facts in this case, OCR reviewed whether the district had actual or constructive knowledge of the alleged race-based incidents and, if so, whether the district took appropriate actions in response to these incidents.

The evidence obtained in this investigation did not establish that the district had notice that other students subjected Student A to racial slurs or other racially derogatory remarks other than the incident occurring on December 17, 1998. OCR found that in response to the incident on December 17, the district took prompt action to notify the student's parent and to counsel the students regarding their behavior. Because the district took appropriate action to address the incident on December 17, 1998, and because the evidence did not otherwise establish that any other racial incidents were known by district officials, OCR is unable to conclude that the district violated Title VI with regard to Student A. "


http://www.ed.gov/about/offices/list/ocr/letters/evergreensd.html

(In your case, the administration hasn't done anything, correct? I think some amount of documentation, logging, etc., has to be done by the parent. They seem to do thorough investigations...if you decide to go this route; maybe it will throw the fear of God into the school administration in any case. Bet their hands will be shaking if they see a complaint filed)

There's also "reading room" and "prevention" and "parental partnerships" topics and other resources on this web site that I think are excellent.

[barb162]

305. And I forgot to say although the above case did not find for the parent

you just know that school district changed things after the federal people left. No institution I know ever admits anything when an investigation is going on, but there's almost always a quiet shakeup later.

You have gotten a lot of advice here. But none of us are walking in your shoes and I know you and your husband will continue to do what's best for your son in the short and long run.

Good luck incognito