I am so scared ya'll.

[Andy_Stephenson]

I hate being a big chicken. But I am afraid! I woke this morning in a panic (Sorry Dr F.). I am frightened by what I am facing...it is a scary monster. I am asking myself WTF? Why me? I want to kick something! If only I had the energy to do so. I was called and asked to do an interview last night and I had to turn it down because it is after the surgical date. I should not have to do that! I have always had plenty of energy to do what I needed to do. Now I am reduced to putzing around the house in my PJ's and even that takes energy, I don't really have to spare.

I am girded for the battle and I know I will win or at least I hope I will win...but damnit it is not fair! I have literally hundreds of emails to send out but I again...just don't have the energy. You all have made such a difference. The kind words, and prayers you have all sent have made the last couple of days bearable. I have never been a rich man...but right now I feel like the richest man on earth. Thank you all so very very much. I am not the best at expressing my feelings in written form but know that each of you have made a sick man feel ever so much more well.

My only regret right now is that I was not able to finish the job I started. I want to still be on the case...fighting for a voter verified paper ballot...but it takes so much damned energy. SO you guys are going to have to take up that banner for the time being. But please please do not fall into the paper record/reciept/trail trap. I cannot stress enough how important that is. We as Americans, abled and Disabled should be demanding paper as the record of our votes. Look at me even sick I am beating the drum. I have to close now. I need food, bananas are sounding real good to me right now. I will check back in later.

Hugs to all...Oh and Will Pitt...you need to quit smoking!!! If you won't do it for yourself...do it for me please.

Andy

[in_cog_ni_to]

1. Andy, sweetie, you're going to be fine!

I know you are! Keep positive thoughts and just remember we are all here praying for you and sending positive energy your way. :hug:

[LIBERALSANDIEGO]

102. you really are

I just need to post so I could start a thread. Sorry for the interuption

[happynewyear]

2. hang in there Andy!

I know you can do it!

Try to remain CALM if you can! That is the BEST advice I can give you right now. C A L M ... C A L M ...

:loveya:

DTC

[LIBERALSANDIEGO]

103. It's going to be a great day

Sorry. Just needed to say that to someone today.

[liberalnurse]

3. Hey Andy......

I still smoke too! :scared:

Luv ya......:loveya:

I agree with that feedback as it would apply to me. Hey Will....have you tried the nicotine patch? I think I'm leaning in that direction.

[alfredo]

115. LN. I will post something to help you quit.

I live in tobacco company and know a little bit about tobacco.

I hope my post will give you and others another reason to quit.

[Beetwasher]

4. You're A Brave Man Andy

For a lot of reasons. Hang tough!

[Coventina]

5. Fear is normal, don't beat yourself up for feeling it.

We love you.

:grouphug:
:hug:

Prayers for healing and blessings headed your way.

[trumad]

7. Andy

You MUST remain positive. I know it's hard but it's vital... You're body can sense fear and therefore will make your senses work harder hence making you sicker in the process.

You must fight your fear, for the sake of your mind and body.

[Ladyhawk]

92. I'm no psychologist, but he might need to feel some fear to get it...

...out of his system. It's normal and must be processed, not suppressed. It's a catharsis that he can use to channel his energy into positivity.

At least, that makes sense to me. Your mileage may vary.

:+

[H2O Man]

107. Fear is the natural reaction.

It's what the body does. It is a function of your brain. It is supposed to happen, and so perhaps the best thing to do is not to "fight" fear, but to experience it for exactly what it is, and then move on. This is something that people can do, and it is not dependent upon the degree of seriousness of the illness.

Your brain is a powerful organ, and can help in the healing of other parts of the body. But even more powerful is the energy that runs the brain, and no matter what word we use to describe or identify that energy, it is there and available to each of us.

The most important first step in dealing with fear is to admit it is there, and that it is uncomfortable, and scarey. That's a big step that has been taken. Now, as my good friend Ladyhawk says, it can be channeled into a more powerful force.

[Ladyhawk]

91. Listen to Coventina. :) n/t

[graywarrior]

6. Breathe......then breathe again

Focus on your breath. Things always turn out the way they're supposed to. You'll be OK. So will your mission. Pass on your power. You're an inspiration.

You just changed the direction of my otherwise shitty day at work.

[Andy_Stephenson]

11. I hope I didn't make it worse...

"You just changed the direction of my otherwise shitty day at work."

Here I am wallowing in self pity. I should be ashamed of myself. :)

[tavalon]

112. Don't should on yourself,Andy

Feelings are feelings. And I can't imagine more appropriate feelings on your part right now than fear.

[Beam Me Up]

8. Damn, Andy. You're right. Life isn't fair.

Everyone struggles with the hand fate or chance or what have you gives them. Anger, fear, frustration--these are legitimate feelings for someone facing hard times and an uncertain future. What can any one say? The sun still comes up in the morning--sometimes in a blaze of glory; other times the sky is grey and cold. How do we face life? How can we accept it, even imbrace it, surrendering without giving up?

This would be a contradiction if everything only operated on one level--but it doesn't. There is life--the everyday life we live--and then there is the movement of deeper forces of which our ordinary lives are only a part. You have fought a good fight and there is still fight left in you. This 'fight' I'm speaking of is a large part of who you are. You are dedicated to something, believe in something--and that 'something' is bigger than you or I or any of us. It was alive before we were born and it will continue to live after all of us reading this are gone. How so? It lives in not only OUR hearts, but in the hearts of many yet to come. It is a wish, a striving, a faith not based in belief, that the human heart, in its heart of hearts, is a noble thing, a sacred thing. We sometimes touch it and are touched by it in others and we know it has real power. Somehow we have to learn to trust that more.

BMU

[blm]

9. WILL PITT SMOKES????? You d...y'know how much money you're giving the RNC?

If that isn't incentive enough to quit, I don't know what is.

Don't worry, Andy, we'll keep beating that BBV drum. And we'll hound Pitt to stop giving money to the Republican party as a bonus drum.

[Andy_Stephenson]

12. Thanks blm...I only mentioned Wills

habit because I care about him not to chastize him. He is a good man and we all need that skilled pen of his.

[FULL_METAL_HAT]

72. Smoking is Baddd MMMMMkay --> Follow The Money(tm)

I was living in Boston and driving downtown one day I had just turned onto the onramp and while lighting a smoke as the car accelerated, I noticed this tree in the corner of my eye. Nothing out of the ordinary, but I realized in a moment that whenever I got on the highway I'd light a cigarette at the exact point when the tree went by, but not only that, I'd got it down so perfectly, I was like a robot!

It occurred to me to wonder WHO was controlling the robot I realized I was.

In a flash I saw that when you follow the money you spend on cigarettes it ends up stuffing the pocket of some rich white guys who KNOW their product controls people like they're robots.

I was so sickened by what I was doing, both acting like a robot, AND feeding those profiteers off-shore accounts, I actually quit smoking right then and there. I was lucky to have the extra kick of idealism to help me over the withdrawal but maybe its enough to help kick the addiction. It's evil.

Hope this helps anyone!

All the best,

{B^)
FULL_METAL_HAT

[jus_the_facts]

108. Hummm..."driving downtown" DRIVING IS BAAAAD...MMMMM K?

....doin' A LOT more damage TO THE ENTIRE WORLD drivin' your CAR....FOLLOW THAT $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

:eyes:

just :think: of who and what you're supporting when you DRIVE...of course I'm just as guilty of smokin' and drivin' too...but alas WE'RE ALL GUILTY OF SUPPORTING THE GODDAMN ADDITIONS OF THE CORPORATE MACHINE...if it's cigarettes or gasoline...at least one smoking cigarettes isn't killing the ENTIRE planet....and yes this hits on my last nerve when the double standard is applied to smokers and our overall addiction to EVERYTHING the corporate machine TELLS us is necessary to exist in today's world....blah blah blah.... :nopity:

[FULL_METAL_HAT]

117. :^) I actually have since gotten rid of the car addiction too :^)

And you're right it is waaaay worse in many regards considering the insurance industry's scams.

Ug!

[jus_the_facts]

118. "the insurance industry's scams."

......UG...I was referring to the GASOLINE SCAM..not insurance. :eyes:

[FULL_METAL_HAT]

121. All the scams are trumped by a secret one ... Credit

talk about indentured slavery

Frontline has an amazing amazing amazing (yes three amazings!) expose called "The Secret History of the Credit Card" ... a great entry point is coming at it from seeing how its different around the world:

http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/shows/credit/more/world.html

If you are struck by what you see keep spreading the word. Slavery is so unseemly for such a noble country ;)

[K8-EEE]

74. I Thank GOD I Quit In My 20's!! DU Smokers Please Listen.

It's the BEST thing you can do, there's never an "easy time" so just say no guys, and remember: GWB'S TOBACCO CRONIES WANT YOU TO SMOKE! JENNA AND BARBARA AND LAURA SMOKE!! Think of those two things when you want a cig, it should help guys...

[Ladyhawk]

93. Think of Laura Bush lighting up. That should help make it distasteful. :D

Good one, K8-EEE!

[Tansy_Gold]

16. that made me laugh 'til I cried, blm!

And I'm going to use it to get some friends to quit, too!

And Andy, you just hang in there, put all your efforts into fighting this, and know that you have lots of friends you don't know about. You know, kinda like Rummy's unknown knowns? (Or sumthin' like that.)

Don't apologize for being scared -- it's normal. Just remember, you have plenty of hands to hold on to.


When my daughter turned five, my husband gave permission for me to get her ears pierced. We went up to the local J.C. Penney store on a Saturday when they had free ear piercing. We were second in line, behind a teen-aged girl who was obviously quite nervous. As the woman who was to do the piercing started to set up, the girl in front of us expressed her fear of the pain and getting sick or something. My solemn little five-year-old looked at her and said, "It'll be okay, and if you get really scared, I'll let you hold my mommy's hand. She's real good at it."

She still is.

[wellstone dem]

106. that was the sweetest story nt

[havocmom]

10. You are a smart chap, Andy. Put your brain to the task.

You are not dropping anything by getting priorities in order. First task: get better. All else is delegated for awhile.

Please put your considerable mental powers to the task of getting Andy better. The rest will get done. Just, please, get better.

We are the enriched ones, for having you in our corner.

Strength & healing

[Andy_Stephenson]

20. Ok on task...

1. Get unscared.
2. Get well.
3. Get lazy ass back to work.

:thumbsup:

[nostamj]

21. "lazy ass"?? weren't you working on your ironing

last night? :eyes:

[Andy_Stephenson]

26. Well the ironing is

all done and put away...

[havocmom]

42. LOL Lazy? Hah! You are gonna be working hard at this getting well job!

And you will feel the love and respect we have for you along the way.

[tavalon]

113. Lazy ass!

That's funny! I'm sure there are a million things you are, Andy, but lazy isn't one of them.

[Longhorn]

13. None of us really knows how we'd react to the hand you've been dealt.

But you've proven yourself to be a fighter in the good cause and there's no better cause than what you're facing now. Feel free to let us know how you're doing and how we can help. You continue to be an inspiration to others! :hug:

[alittlelark]

14. You are facing a tough road - try to breathe,

Try not to obsess. Rent a few silly movies (Monty Python,The Princes Bride...) and watch them back to back. Laughter helps soo much!
I'm sending calm thoughts your way.
You will be OK.:hug:

[Ladyhawk]

94. That's a great idea! A silly Monty Python movie always helps. :) n/t

[tavalon]

114. Yes, laughter is very, very important

when fighting illness but especially cancer. Also, feeling whatever feelings and I mean feeling them all the way through to their resolve is very important.

[coffeenap]

15. No smoking--great idea for everyone, right Andy??? :)

We are with you. D is at a Dalai Lama workshop this weekend--full of people of all faiths and all world views. He sends his love and will ask their support for you too. (He will tell everyone it is NOT a paper trail-it is a verified paper ballot!!!) ;-)

[Andy_Stephenson]

19. Oh I don't worry about D...

he is such a smart kid. I am so honored to know him. Sounds like he is gonna have a fun weekend. I am glad he is getting out!

[Padraig18]

17. Hang in there, Andy!

You can beat this thing!

:hug:

[goodboy]

18. You're gonna be fine Andy...simple as that. (nt)

[katinmn]

22. voter verified paper ballots -- we got it!

BTW, whenever you feel panicky -- you just post away. Focusing on issues when you can might help take your mind off your worries.

:hug:

[radwriter0555]

23. Andy, you're going to be FINE. It will be a battle but you will be OKAY.

And THANKS for telling Will to quit smoking.

The death of a dear, far too young, artistic, gorgeous, kind, smart, studly, foxy, silly, sweet, sentimental, romantic boyfriend of mine due to smoking related cancer was firstly, the worst thing I ever witnessed, and secondly, the single critical impetus to cause me to quit smoking.

You will survive this, and it won't be pretty, but I hope, amidst your struggles you will find the time to preach to those you know and love the perils of smoking.

You'll be FINE!

[tnlefty]

24. If I could take your anxiety I would gladly do it.

I was confronted with a major illness (told that I had 6 months to get my affairs in order) a few years ago. The testing, waiting for results were difficult. 2 years of unpleasant treatment followed, but after I was finally correctly diagnosed I knew that I had a rough time ahead, but I could focus on that, as weird as that might seem.

I'm hoping that your surgery will go well. If you can figure out some way to send your anxiety to me through the cosmos feel free. I'll walk it off for you and you can conserve your energy.

Take care of yourself.

[Misunderestimator]

25. You'll be back, Andy. Don't beat yourself up... take care of yourself now

so you can take care of us again when you're better ;) :hug:

[Ladyhawk]

95. Ditto on not beating yourself up.

Andy, you're very self-effacing, which means you're not full of yourself. That's a good thing up to a point, but don't sell yourself short. Being scared is normal. You can allow yourself to feel the fear, then focus it. :) If anyone can do it, you can.

[Andy_Stephenson]

27. Ok I am gonna drink a pot of coffee.

I have not been drinking any laterly and damnit...I want some. So perhaps later I will be zinging off the walls.

[coffeenap]

38. I heartily agree--obviously...

[Nothing Without Hope]

61. Half-life of caffeine in the circulation after drinking coffee

is about 6 hours. So keep that in mind when you drink it and time it accordingly so you can get the sleep that you need when you need it. Six hours after you drink the coffee, half the caffeine will still be there. How about decaf coffee or a reduced caf mix of grinds?

Your sleep is essential, not only to your energy level but to your ability to cope. It's wise to give it a very high priority instead of viewing it as an interruption of your busy schedule. For example, you can not only time coffee drinking, but you can start moving away from tasks and thoughts that promote anxiety as you approach sleep time; consider meditation and/or calming music, softer lights as you approach bedtime. Keep the lights off during the night -- it interferes with melatonin production and sleep rhythms. Try to make your sleeping area a place of calm and quiet, not reading anxiety-inducing articles there or desperately trying to finish something on your computer just before turning off the lights. I know from my own experience: the quality of your sleep really can make a huge difference to your energy level, your sense of calm, your clarity of thought, and even -- so studies suggest -- your ability to heal. You need all those things now, so you need to pay more attention to your sleep.

And one more thing: you have been carrying enormous responsibility and care for the future of this country. Set this burden aside when it is time to rest. You are not alone in carrying on this fight, and you need to care for yourself.

(This post is getting too long, so I'll mention two other suggestions in another.)

[whatelseisnew]

119. half is not enough

(just a toast and a smile)

[DARE to HOPE]

28. Bananas are good, add some coconut milk/oil, too!

Andy, dear kid, you are going to be fine! Look at how well the Pope did overnight!

And to heal yourself after the surgery, one wonderful treat is coconut milk heated (I always thin it a little with good water) mixed with a little honey and vanilla. Mmmmmmm.

Coconut oil in place of all other cooking oil (a little butter and cold use of virgin olive oil are okay) really WILL specifically heal your colon and digestive area. 3+ tablespoons/day is therapeutic--spread it on whole grain bread or rye cracker with almond butter or sugarless jam for warming, healing bite. Or just add a big tablespoon to chicken soup, another great healer. If you are doing canned rather than homemade, add some garlic, onion, carrot, brown rice and another can of broth. All these are very healing. As are your bananas. Funny how the body craves what it really needs. :-)

But that warm coconut milk will make you feel all the loving arms around you that we are sending you through the virtual firmament. :-)

Much, much love, and all our prayers, child.

THANK YOU for the inspiration you have been to all of US. And you are right to tell Will to quit smokiing. We all need to care for ourselves for the long fight.

[ryan_cats]

29. You will prevale

Andy, I'm new here but I've watched your work on the various votergates and I'm glad you're on the case. That being said, I can't imaqine this or anything else is going to stop your quest.

When I was in a similar situation, all I could do is pray for the best but prepare for the worst. I'm sure you'll pull through, with so many pulling for you, how can you not? Please keep up the good fight and remember, there are a lot of people pulling and praying for you.

:toast:

[Just Me]

30. I believe you are "rich",...

"Rich" with passion, strength, feeling, intelligence, graciousness, friends.

Yep,...that would be "rich" in my book.

I hope you'll take the time necessary for your body to heal.

:hug:

[CornField]

31. When you feel like kicking something -- go for it.

When I was at one of the worst points in my life, I finally let loose and toss some plates against the wall. That moment was a turning point for me... that's when I began to let go of the fear and anger and began to accept what had been placed with me.

I have a candle lit for you Andy. Don't sell yourself short... I think you are a lot stronger than you give yourself credit for being.

:hug:

[bear425]

32. Andy, you are going to have to remember to

take care of YOU now. I admire how giving you are and how much of a fighter you are for us. But, now is the time for you to concentrate on your own well being.

You must take care of yourself first, before you can take care of anyone else!

You are going to be fine! And when you are, you will grab the baton again and lead us to the finish line with a win for our team!

:) P

[ClayZ]

40. Candle lit here too, Andy! Sounds like a circle of light to me!

My then 5 year old swallowed a nickle and had to have it surgically removed. She is 32 now. The Dr. sent that nickle to her in the mail. She still has the nickle.


My point, is that fear was the part of the whole episode that I had to beat. I then started battling fear with a mantra. Any ole mantra works. Rather than allowing the thoughts to progress to panic, I recited my mantra in my head over and over.

Works for me still..

Use your favorite poem.

[cmd]

33. Andy, you are acting in a perfectly normal way

Right now I want you to feel a warm glow surround you, because there is one there. It is created by all us DUers who care for one another. Feel it creeping in? It's kind of relaxing, isn't it? That is because it is so big and powerful that nothing can take it away from you. Take a deep breath and just melt down in the big warm DU comforter. We're here today and we'll be here whenever you feel down. Give a shout when you need us.

[AmBlue]

34. Just sent you some books, Andy....

Encouraging, healing books. So don't be surprised when you have a box from Amazon in your p.o. box. Just take one day at a time. We'll be here for you anytime.

Sending big hugs and prayers, too...

[yvr girl]

35. Andy, you do have courage

You've been fighting 'the system' and that takes courage. You just need to redirect it. Remember all the people who are standing behind you and that will help.

Don't worry about sending out the emails. Everyone would rather you spend your energy getting better.

Best.

[greatauntoftriplets]

36. Andy, you are facing some difficult times....

...and your reaction to this hellish situation in which you have found yourself is entirely normal. No, it's not fair. But that's life. And you're a fighter. We are all here for you.

And I am relieved about the smoking...was afraid you might have gone back to it because of the stress. Not smoking helps get you through surgery.

:hug:

:loveya:

[Fovea]

37. You are scared, and that is understandable.

But you are young and strong at heart.
I believe you will prevail.

Cleave to life,
chew every bit of flavor out of it.
Not because you are leaving it, but because
it is the best tasting medicine.

Peace and strength to you. My your heart by light and your hand sure.

And Will, consider Andy's wisdom.

Love to you both,
RealP

[WilliamPitt]

39. This poem was stolen by Timothy McVeigh. I'm stealing it back.

Invictus

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud,
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find me, unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

- William Ernest Henley

[CitySky]

41. as they say, don't "should" all over yourself...

Hi Andy -

I saw your thread a couple of days ago & have been praying for you.

:hi:

Coupla thoughts: "tired" and "lazy" are not synonymous. Get the rest you need. Use whatever energy you need to get well. If you end up needing chemo and all that jazz there will be okay days, days when you'll get some stuff done, and there will be days when ALL you can do is sleep and maybe drag yourself to the bathroom a couple of times. Seriously. It is hell. You are at war with an enemy in your own body -- the only thing that matters is that you WIN.

-Sky in Houston

[Ladyhawk]

96. "'tired' and 'lazy' are not synonymous."

Great wisdom, CitySky. Andy needs to know that he still has value even when he is sick. I imagine he's feeling worthless because he can't do the things he once used to do. That is self-defeating. :)

This chronic-pain sufferer needed to hear that, too. Thanks.

Tired and lazy are not synonymous. :) Thanks.

[Desertrose]

43. Andy....what a bummer.....sorry man

Its frustrating I know...but you gotta think about the present and about just taking real good care of that body so it can beat this & heal. If you do what you need for you NOW, then you'll have time to get back to the rest soon enough.

The energy you started on things here at DU & elswhere will carry itself and all your friends here on DU will also carry it ...and if you need us we'll carry you, too. That is what community & friends are all about.

Don't be hard on yourself...love yourself extra right now...think of the word "nurture" everytime you are frustrated at not having energy or being tired.

Sending you lots of love & healing prayers.....you gotta do that for yourself too, though,OK?

:hug::grouphug:
DR

PS. its OK to be scared sometimes, but as soon as you can get those thoughts out of your mind, the better....replace them with the image of you being all healthy and strong and having success on this whole paper trail issue (or whatever else is close to your heart)

[NeoTraitors]

44. Andy you will be in my prayers.

We need you my friend!

[trudyco]

45. Are you looking into alternative eating for your condition?

It may not work, but at least it is something you can take on yourself. Unlike radiation/drug therapy/surgery where you are at the mercy of the docs.

It certainly wouldn't hurt you. As I understand it the idea is to cut off all the sugars in your diet. Cancer likes sugar. All white bread/rice. One local guy had prostate cancer and instead of conventional treatment opted to do the diet instead. So far he has been in remission.

Personally I'd do both.

[lapislzi]

46. Although I am a total stranger

and we have rarely, if ever interacted, I've read your posts, and I wish you well. May you have a speedy recovery and all the support you need. Your comrades will not leave the job unfinished, I think.

[dave29]

48. echo the sentiment.

Be well, Andy

[Catamount]

47. Get well soon Andy!

For what it's worth I'm on day 29 without cigarettes!
Love is on your side!

[guajira]

83. Andy, Keep the Faith.

Anything is possible, miracles happen all the time. We're praying for you.

Catamount, I quit smoking almost 10 years ago and don't ever want to smoke again!!!

What helped me most was taking deep breaths whenever I wanted a cig. The oxygen rush took the urge away! Good luck.

[Ladyhawk]

98. That's very interesting, guajira.

Oxygen rush.

People are different and find different ways to quit. Those of us who never developed the habit have no clue how hard it is to quit. So I will not sit in judgment. I will, however, urge smokers to try to quit. Try again if you have to. Sometimes we need practice at such things. :)

[SharonRB]

49. Andy, I know you're going through a very rough time,

but you have all of us here at DU thinking about you and praying for your speedy recovery. A lot of people out here care about you. If you have anyone nearby who could come and stay with you for a while maybe just having someone there to talk to would help.

For once, just worry about yourself -- the election issues will still be here when you are better and you'll be able to start anew with renewed strength to fight for the cause. In the meantime, the rest of us will carry on and keep things moving.

Take care of yourself!

[plcdude]

50. It will be all right now

trust and you will see.

[Lydia Leftcoast]

51. I know it's scary, Andy

I've had two biopsies, and the not knowing is the hardest part.

But you're a fighter, Andy, and I think your fighting spirit will bring you through this.

:hug:

[bunny planet]

52. We love you Andy.

You are going to beat this, and be well.
I just know it. All my prayers go out to you.
Bananas are a great idea. So is carrot juice.

:loveya: :loveya: :loveya: :loveya:

[SharonRB]

53. Awwwww, Bunny

Floaty hearts for Andy! Now we really know he's special.

[bunny planet]

62. Yes he is.

He deserves all the floaties he can get for all he has done for us.
Here's some more Andy.
:loveya: :loveya: :loveya: :loveya: :loveya: :loveya:
Get well soon. You are a brave, kind, decent man.

[SharonRB]

69. I totally agree!

Here's some more, Andy.

:loveya: :loveya: :loveya:

[kalibex]

54. Be extra good to yourself...

Know that you're worth it! B-)

[SeekerofTruth]

55. Wishing you the best

I hope everything works out for the better. If you give up the fight you're guaranteed to lose, so keep looking into yourself and keep fighting.

[antigop]

56. Hang in there, Andy

No, life is not fair.

But as Molly Ivins says "but we try to make it fairer". That's why we're Dems, right?

Hugs...

[EC]

57. Try and stay positive

if you really need something or someone to blame...Blame Bush...for eliminating all the environmental laws and food safety regulations...that's what causes cancer...Put the burden on him, don't you carry it...Stay positive, release the anger...


Get one of these and use it:http://www.stickittobush.com/

forgot link

[Pepperbelly]

58. not to appear as ignorant as I no doubt am ...

what happened to you and what is all this about?

:shrug:

[nostamj]

59. read this from Will Pitt for details...

http://forum.truthout.org/blog/story/2005/2/24/84720/3496

[LilBitRad]

60. Hang tough Andy

Been through enough bad times myself, heart attacks and a stroke.

Though your situation is different, I do know you have to fight, and I don't mean just saying it, I mean doing it with every fiber of your being.

You've already pointed out you want to finish the job you started,; that is probably enough incentive to steel your mind. Use it.

It's OK to be afraid, just don't let the fear win. It's a lot easier to say it than to do it, but you can beat that particular demon. You'll have to trust me on that.

You'll also wonder about the "why me" often. Please don't let that consume you. There is no answer to that question, just recognize that it is happening to you and that you will take the necessary steps to fight it and win.

[Mikimouse]

63. Hugs and good thoughts Andy, just remember that much has been

done in the past 20 years, in terms of treatment. I wish you the very best, and expect to see you here and posting again years from now.

[G_j]

64. Hey Andy, we're in your corner, (& I sent you a PM)

please keep posting if you feel like it, we are all sending you our love, and care about how you are doing. :hug: :loveya:

[porphyrian]

65. Bravery isn't the absense of fear...

...it is overcoming that fear. Hang in there, man.

[flyarm]

66. oh Andy it is we who are rich...

knowing you, and yes keep that fighting spirit it is going to be your best friend in the days ahead..keep it and fight , fight like hell..and being scared is the most normal thing you should be feeling , but pair it with that internal fight.
have faith that we are all here praying for you and sending you nothing but positive energy!
have faith in your doctors,but question everything!
do not accept pain..its un-nessary with todays technology. be the keeper of your own well being..eat even if it tastes lousey, and it will after the surgery but eat anyway..its the only way to heal.
now is a time of worry for you, its perfectly normal, but after that surgery you have to force positive thoughts for healing..
be assured there will be many positive thoughts coming your way from all of us...and love!
huggies and love, fly

[rainy]

67. Andy, I do not know you so I will say what I have to say and

do not care if you or the rest think it is too preachy. This info is vital to your life and I'd like you to educate yourself on all possibilities. You have nothing to lose by considering the path of a raw food diet. The idea is that cancer cannot grow in an alkaline body. It will stop growing shrivel up and die. It has nothing to feed on. In an acid body cancer feeds on acid waste. Meat causes acid waste as does other foods that we shouldn't eat. I recommend the following books. Many enlightened doctors are aware that the cure for cancer is in the diet.

"Alkalize or Die" by Dr. Theodore A. Baroody
"Nature's First Law" great group, they have a website worth visiting
"Dying to Get Well" by Keck

I'd really like to see you get well and heal yourself. Your body has the power, innate in all of our bodies, to heal. You just need to give it the right ingredients to do the job nature intended it to do.

[librechik]

68. tears and hugs, Andy

never surrender!

:loveya:

[bettyellen]

70. oh andy.....

you're going to get better so you can visit and i'll take you to Coney Island and the tiki bar and we'll drink pina coladas by the sea, okay? i hope you know how to drive a stick.
i'll quit smoking soon...... i'm trying, sorta.

[Andy_Stephenson]

88. Quit Now

please!

[bettyellen]

111. okay. i'm working on it- next week.

[RetroLounge]

71. Andy, hang in there and stay positive

You'll be fine...

RL

p.s. 3 weeks today without a smoke...

[GreenPoet64]

73. Sending positive vives . . .

Can ya feel them? O8)

[Sapphire Blue]

75. Courage & positivity

Having been diagnosed with cancer a few years ago, I understand and honor your feelings. The fear, the rage, the frustration can be overwhelming. After my surgery, I made an appointment with the pathologist to view the biopsy slides... seeing my lymphocytes aggressively attacking the tumor was, and still is, extremely empowering. I also brought home a slice of the preserved tumor & had a wonderful ceremony burning the damn thing.

Andy, you will get through this and overcome it with your wonderful courage and positivity.

[Ladyhawk]

100. I'm something of a skeptic, but somehow your story inspires me.

Knowing your enemy may indeed help your body to fight it. Why the hell not?

[MissWaverly]

76. Andy, how to survive

Andy, listen, I had a terrible accident 2-1/2 years ago and I smashed in half my skull, including my nose (which had to be reconstructed by surgery), I was messed up for 5 months, with gross things that I don't need to go into here, how did I survive, I watched a lot of really bad, hokey, terrible movies, had great support from my family, friends, my faith, and I learned to live in the moment, not in the future where the worries live, if things are really bad concentrate on just getting thru the next 15 minutes, not the afternoon, night, the operation, etc.

My list of the worst possible movies:
Abbott and Costello meet Frankenstein
The House on Haunted Hill with Vincent Price
The original Godzilla
Father Ted
Wild Wheels, the documentary where people decorate their own cars
old dragnet episodes, I just enjoy seeing how LA was back then
old radio show cassettes of the Shadow, Green Lantern, etc. I also
listened to a lot of New Age Music which my sister calls tuning fork
music, celtic music instrumental with harp

[blondeatlast]

77. I know something of what you're going through.

It's okay to be angry and afraid, you wouldn't be human without it. I've been hospitalized many, many times and have had several angioplasties--and I'm only 45.

Evrything will be fine and you have so much love and support from DU I have to believe it''s tangible. Take care, my friend, and we'll see you on the flip side!

Courage and strength vibes headed your way.

:hug:

[roguevalley]

78. recovery takes time, honey. energy only goes so far. take care,

rest and keep the faith. you are not alone.

[Ladyhawk]

101. Listen to your body's need for rest.

If you're exhausted, there's a reason. :)

[BrklynLiberal]

79. Andy. We are all out here..surrounding you with love and support.

Never feel alone. Reach out at any time and we will be here to surround you with white light and positive energy.
Someone suggested lots and lots of funny, silly movies. That is an excellent idea. Keep yourself laughing as much as possible. The brain reacts to that in interesting ways.
Keep yourself surrounded with all the things that keep you happy.
A couple of kittens were mentioned. That would be a great idea.
Focusing energy on researching the web for alternative foods and life-styles to help you deal with this is also a positive step and might also give you a sense of having some control over what is going on.
Take extra good care of yourself. We need your intelligence and spirit here at DU.
Feel yourself surrounded by the bright light that we are sending out to you,

[thinkingwoman]

80. it's ok to be scared

Andy,

I don't know you personally, but I hope that what I have to offer here helps in some way. I apologize in advance for the length.

I have never been through a medical ordeal like what you are facing, but five years ago I faced and survived a terrifying experience--we had a stalker move in next door and force our family out of the town, county, and life that we loved.

We don't have a run of the mill ordinary stalker, we have a real winner who served a decade behind bars for attacking people higher up on his hit list. After he got out he found us--a member of my immediate family was next in line on the list and we literally feared for our lives.

To make matters worse, our children were young, and so extra vulnerable, at that time.

We all went into hiding. Our children left without saying goodbye to their friends. We left a home, a life, and careers behind overnight.

It was the worst time of my life. I remember not sleeping for days and then sleeping only with nightmares. Every sound inspired an instant fight or flight response. Silence was even worse. Because it snowed a lot that winter, and on the day we faced our stalker in court for the first protective order, I felt fear every time it snowed for 3 YEARS.

Our post traumatic stress disorder symptoms are finally easing now, 5 years later. We're taking our lives back. Although we remain vigilent, and ever mindful of the people around us and possible exit/escape routes at all times, I can honestly say that my family no longer lives in constant fear.

What has this got to do with your struggle? Maybe nothing, but I think what I have learned can apply to you.

I learned that none of us know how much time we have. I learned that "every day is precious" is not a cliche, it is reality. I also learned that coping with such an ordeal isn't always pretty, and that it pays to be kind to yourself when you don't exhibit the bravery and class you expect each and every day, and that sometimes you have to live one moment at a time, because one day at a time seems like an eternity.

I learned that there is no right or wrong way to face fear, as long as you face it. You, Andy, are facing yours!

I learned not to beat myself up, or bring myself down by focusing on what I wish I had accomplished, but to go ahead and dream of what I still hope to accomplish.

I think daring to dream of a future again is the first sign that the fear can be matched.

I learned that once hope equals fear, fear fades, and once hope outweighs fear, fear retreats.

This will no doubt be a long struggle for you Andy. Some days you will cope better than others. Be kind to yourself, and let those who love you pick up the slack when your energy is down.

Good luck, and good life.

As I posted in another thread to you--I will keep you in my thoughts. Be strong.

P.S. I almost forgot to tell you my secret anti-fear/anti-depression weapon! I try to watch at least one episode of the Jerry Springer Show every couple of weeks to remind myself what people with truly pathetic and wretched lives look like.

[greatauntoftriplets]

99. What a great post, thinkingwoman....

You live up to your username. You and your family have been through hell and understand full well what it is like.

I am happy that you and your family are taking your lives back. You deserve it.

[thinkingwoman]

109. thanks greataunt

I hope it helps Andy somehow.

[hamerfan]

81. Thanks Andy!!!

Not for all you do for the "trail" (which is MUCH)

But for the "quit smoking" advice. On my honor, I will quit for you (and me) as a symbolic gesture of us both getting better!

All the very best, my friend!

:hug:

[NC_Nurse]

82. Of course you're scared,

who wouldn't be? You know we are all sending our prayers and good vibes to you. Keep breathing and let healing energy flow into you. You don't have to carry the burdens of the world right now. It's time for you to focus on you right now. We are all pulling for you. :hug:

[FreedomAngel82]

84. Hi Andy

Like others have said fear is fine and normal for a mortal. It's okay because you don't know the unknown. Stay strong. :hug:

[mzmolly]

85. Thinking of and praying for you Andy.

:hug:

We'll expect good news on Monday!

[Iggytop]

86. Hope you feel better soon.

:-)

[HeeBGBz]

87. Sending you healing energy, Andy

I'm hoping everything goes well for you.

[Tinoire]

89. Jeez Andy

:hug:

Hang in there. You've got love & prayers from so many people coming your way. Just hang in there big fella, we're here for you.

:hug:

[Ladyhawk]

90. Andy, you're a hero.

You've fought hard for all of us.

It's going to be hard to face the fact that you don't feel well enough to conduct your life the same way. And of course you're scared. Anyone in your position would be scared. You don't have to apologize. :) You need to cut yourself some slack and feel free to feel the way you feel! Feelings don't follow a script. They just are. We deal with them as we can.

When my neck and back started to disintegrate, I was trying very hard to put my life back together after a bout with another serious illness. It never seems fair, does it? All we can do is play the hand we're dealt to the best of our ability. God, that sounds like a cliche, but it has helped me to get up and face the world when faced by trying times.

Why are we here?
Because we're here.

Roll the bones...
Roll the bones...

Why does it happen?
Because it happens.

Roll the bones...
Roll the bones...

-Rush "Roll the Bones"

Every day is an opportunity to get up and roll the bones. At least, that's what I tell myself. ;) But you also have a right to feel whatever you are feeling. :)

BIG HUGS

:hug:

[Catherine Vincent]

97. Hang in there Andy.

You're not alone. I'm a chicken too.:-(

[hlthe2b]

104. Andy, so many of us are here to take your fear away and hold it....

to take your worries away and hold it; to send you prayers and comfort in their place to hold YOU.

Try to visualize your fear and worries collecting in your hand and being tossed out to the winds for us to catch-- and in its place, the comfort that we send, enveloping you. Let us take the worry away so that you can concentrate only on the positive--only on the healing. We are all with you through this: be well, Andy, be well!

[oasis]

105. Keep beating that drum Andy. We stand with you.

[Aristus]

110. Love and hugs, Andy!

Hang in there, buddy. :hug:

[parsifal_e]

116. Andy , do something you love .......

and live like there's no tomorrow , find etrnity in the moment for death is absurd and life is more so . so "always look on the bright side of life! "

remember what dylan said :

And death shall have no dominion.
Dead men naked they shall be one
With the man in the wind and the west moon;
When their bones are picked clean and the clean bones gone,
They shall have stars at elbow and foot;
Though they go mad they shall be sane,
Though they sink through the sea they shall rise again;
Though lovers be lost love shall not;
And death shall have no dominion.

And death shall have no dominion.
Under the windings of the sea
They lying long shall not die windily;
Twisting on racks when sinews give way,
Strapped to a wheel, yet they shall not break;
Faith in their hands shall snap in two,
And the unicorn evils run them through;
Split all ends up they shan't crack;
And death shall have no dominion.

And death shall have no dominion.
No more may gulls cry at their ears
Or waves break loud on the seashores;
Where blew a flower may a flower no more
Lift its head to the blows of the rain;
Though they be mad and dead as nails,
Heads of the characters hammer through daisies;
Break in the sun till the sun breaks down,
And death shall have no dominion.

[ScreamingMeemie]

120. Andy, I am putting all my energy into willing you well.

Please fight as long as you can, on your own issues...we'll take up the mantle. :hug: