So what's wrong with covenant marriage?

[quaoar]

I was watching Bill Maher's interview with Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee. Huckabee and his wife just renewed their vows in a covenant marriage -- which means before you can get divorced you have to agree to try counseling to resolve your differences.

What's wrong with that?

As long as it is
A. voluntary, and
B. Does not force someone to stay married to an abusive asshole.

How about this -- if you're in a covenant marriage and you beat your wife or abandon your children, the police can take you behind the courthouse and kick your ass.

[PinkTiger]

1. I don't have a problem with it. It's just that the way they are doing it,

it is so hypocritical. And so, so FORCED. It's like, "Hey, everybody, look at us! We are COMMITTED TO EACH OTHER!!!!"
And the rest of us are just a bunch of ho's and jo's, I guess.

It's that "out there," effusive, over-reaching saccharine Christianity.

It's plain disgusting.

And when Huckabee was fat, before his diet, he was unabashedly fat, as was his wife. Now he is so "Christian-ly thin."
It's fake, it's forced, and it's ughhhhh.

[rwheeler31]

2. When can we separate civil and religious marriage?

nt

[UdoKier]

3. Nothing wrong with it. - Fundie wingnuts NEED it...

since their divorce rate is so much higher than that of normal people...


It does seem a bit phony, though...

[applegrove]

4. Didn't see the show - never have. But I think if you are adults you

can just agree to go to marriage counselling (unless there is serious abuse going on). I don't think you need to have people running around feeling anxious and getting married again. Seems like a waste of resources to me. Seems like a waste of emotion. Their marriage always was whatever they made it. And I find the fact that they feel so vulnerable to be very sad for them because I see them as victims (and they will realize this in the future). Driven to distraction to marry again when that would never have happened except for the political climate where the outdated reading of the bible by fundamentalists was used as a wedge by the sociopaths who wanted power.

But that period up there ^, that is exactly where my sympathy ends for them.

[seabeyond]

5. they see their own hypocrisy,

and along the way in an amusing way creating more hypocrisy.

they stopped gay marriage saying it lessens marriage, yet then lessens marriage with a super duper marriage. well my husband and i are not in a convenant marriage, does that make our marriage less. in a way, yes it does, though it doesnt of course

secondly, they are yelling about gays being sinful yet divorce is spoke about in the bible much more about being a sin. yet the highest numbers of divorce are in these family value states adn amongst their very own religious people. so they are trying to fix this as fast as they can. of course they cant, because the issue with divorce is so much more complicated

and finally it is once again repugs standing to say to the nation they are family value party ergo they create this convenent to help marriages be stronger while the democrats are heathens animals out of control and they create a stronger base on their ability to be the family value aprty. a manipulation and ploy to gain support from the blind and the sheep as they snicker all the way

[FreedomAngel82]

13. I agree with you

It's big-time rubbing it into people's faces and this "holier then thou" attitude. On the Mr. and Mrs. Huckabee thing they didn't even kiss! :shrug: They just looked at each other. Like okay we did it. :shrug:
But I do think it's a thing like "look at us! We're saving marriage from the gays!" Ugh!

[RickyMonet]

6. I'm having enough problems with my civil marriage!

Now if I asked for a covenant marriage would i be crossing the line? I have a covenant with my God and my Husband and I give my Husband those vows now and would do it legally.

BTW i'm gay and they are trashing my marriage who's next?

[stanwyck]

7. If you need even more government intervention

to keep your marriage together, then you're really struggling. Marriage is religious. Why is the government even involved? I believe covenant marriages and proposed legislation here in Georgia which aims to make divorce more difficult to obtain will ultimately lead to fewer marriages. Marriage is declining as an institution in Europe. Younger people are increasingly viewing marriage as an anachronism. Instituting barriers and punitive measures to divorce will lead even more young people to view marriage dubiously. And since the greatest threat to women's health is not cancer but abusive husbands or boyfriends, how is making divorce more difficult to obtain going to help women who want to sever ties with controlling partners? And, my guess is, a husband who thinks he needs a covenant marriage is a controlling partner. To me, this type of "marriage" doesn't bode well for women. Too Taliban for me. Hey, if you have a good marriage, you don't need this. (and I've been married for 26 years).

[Toucano]

8. It's an attack on traditional marriage.

It's an attempt to redefine traditional marriage.

It threatens to weaken traditional marriage by defining traditional marriage as something inferior and transitory.

Plus it's redundant. Marriage is a covenant be definition. There's no such thing as a non-covenant marriage.

The word "covenant" is employed to allude to God's covenant with Moses, Noah, and Abraham and Christ's covenant with the church. It's the interjection of more religion in government.

Power on theocrats!

[chefgirl]

9. Exactly right

I have no problem with those who want to call their marriage a covenant marriage.

What I do have a problem with is those who would then use that definition to diminish every other traditional marriage.

Soon enough you will hear them starting to say that people who aren't in a covenant marriage just aren't 'married enough'.

Its no different from the way they wrap themselves in the flag just to prove that they are super duper patriotic, and anyone who doesn't just isn't patriotic enough.

It's just more ridiculous posturing by the religious right. You know, the ones who can't be satisfied with just knowing their God, they feel it necessary to advertise.

In my opinion, if they REALLY walked the Christian walk, the last thing they would feel the need to do is bring attention to themselves for the purpose of stroking their own pride.

-chef-

[Toucano]

12. Precisely.

The "meaning" of marriage is - in the final analysis - is ALWAYS defined by the participants. We have a definiton that gives everyone a general idea, but the actual terms are dictated by the individuals involved.

The state doesn't dictate the vows. It has no compelling interest in doing so.

Like you've said, it's very divisive. It creates classes of people. That's not something we need.

[Behind the Aegis]

10. Pissing contest in the making

Soon, it will be..."MY marriage is MORE hole than YOUR marriage!" Just one more thing for the fundies to use to bash one another, as well as another way to swipe at marriage.

[Peter Frank]

11. ...

Q "I was watching Bill Maher's interview with Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee. Huckabee and his wife just renewed their vows in a covenant marriage -- which means before you can get divorced you have to agree to try counseling to resolve your differences.

What's wrong with that?..."

A Nothing whatsoever (as long as Heni Youngman isn't the councilor).

[loyalsister]

14. They've got it backwards

A friend who is a pastor and I agree that if they're going to make anything more difficult having to do with marriage it should be getting married not divorced.

[NightOwwl]

15. It's redundant.

Marriage is a serious business and everyone (with the exception of Brittany Spears and Newt Gingrich) already knows that. The assumption that people they aren't "strong" enough to stay married without an extra layer of protection is just plain ridiculous, not to mention patronizing.