To all Lurking Freepers!!!

[Homer12]

Mandatory abortions (male and female) for you all, cause by will alone we can do it!

We are going to make you share in a social manner and force you to watch the WEST WING, and Queer Eye for the Straight Guy.

Not only will you have to marry a female, but we will put it into law that you also must marry a man (HA, Ha, Ha).

We will tax you at %80 even if your not rich, and all that money will go to poor welfare mothers with 25 kids, and they'll have more children and you'll have to give them more money. And you'll have to buy more guns to protect yourselves!!!!

We will put it into law that you'll have to adopt a tree into your family, name it, and invite to church.

We will force and pass into law a new reliigion that will merge christianity, Islam, Judasim, and Buddism, and Hinduism. Christman will remain the same though, we all like getting stuff.

Radical femmenists will make females color their hair and get peircings and listen to Ani Difranco; and make them go to vibrator camp.

We will work with the UN again.

Rush was right your ALL victims!

And WE are the cultural predators ready to force you into submission. WE are the evil presence peaking into your doors and taking away your monetary civil liberties. And fill our military weapons with environmental wacko flowers.

Hannity was right, we want to destroy America to destroy YOU!!

HA, HA, HA Clinton's penis is an Alien and a Communist, we know were you live, we know what you are doing. The master plan is set.

Liberals are marching towards your door, are massive media machine makes it so.

We are going to take away your guns!!!!!!!

And I'll make you have horrible spelling like me, becuase we'll make education so bad that you'll have to all home school!!!!!

HA, HA, HA, HA, Tax and Spend. We are coming for you!!!!!


**(Thank You, this is my 300th post. Thank you all DUers, I love this place)**

**(Note: This post is satire of what many Freepers, Neo-Cons, and Republicans "believe" we are and what we stand for; Just listen to Rush.)**

[quinnox]

1. I have noticed a few lately

They are obvious to me, but I understand why the admin has to take the time to be sure.

[Brian Sweat]

32. Hey, aren't we going to grab all of their guns

and force them to attend harmonic convergence festivals?

[htuttle]

2. Did you find an old vial of amyl nitrate in the couch?

...or are you just happy to be here?

[RetroLounge]

3. "and make them go to vibrator camp."

LMAO

[veganwitch]

5. where can i sign up?!?!?!

please put it next to camp trans at not-MWMF.

*cant wait for arts and crafts day*

[sham]

25. I wanna go to vibrator camp... :(

:dem:

[gully]

4. Let's make their kids burn flags in school...

:evilgrin:

[Robroy]

6. And for Mr. Asscroft

He will be forced to smoke pot (shotgunned if necessary) in the middle of bunch of naked women while watching Cheech & Chong's "Up In Smoke."

[Brewman_Jax]

9. He'll have to feed calico cats

n/t

[Sophree]

23. calico cats are the devil

:D ;-)

[liberalpress]

22. Excuse me...

..Mr Asscroft CANNOT come to my house this weekend. He bogarts.

[5thGenDemocrat]

7. No greasy group hugs, though

I think we should make dogs wear underwear in public. Who's with me??
John
Everybody should get free government cheese, too.

[noonwitch]

18. Have you ever tasted government cheese? ick

At least circa 1984, when I had a roommate who got some and shared it. It did not taste like cheese, it was yucky.

[htuttle]

19. It must have depended on where you lived

Up here in Wisconsin, we got REAL cheese from the government.

Real butter, too -- huge 1 pound blocks of butter (well, at least until the Great Butter Fire of 1991...Oh, the humanity!...).

[Homer12]

20. How about Government Ketchup?

[5thGenDemocrat]

27. Throw open the warehouses!!!

CAPITALIST PIGS!! GIVE US SOME WHEATIES!!
John
When's the government going to start stockpiling Dinty Moore? That's what I want to know.

[ignatius]

31. Screw Dinty moore, me want Twinkies!!!

[rucky]

8. Flags May Only Be Displayed Inside Working Fireplaces

Schoolchildren will be forced to say a pledge to never pray to or mention God. Ever.

U.S. History class will entirely consist of a textbook entitled "Kill Whitey"

New National Anthem: Rainy Day Woman... And everybody MUST get stoned.

All teenage boys will be forced to wear condoms at all times, subject to full-body search.

Instead of checkpoints, we will replace our borders with a line of welcome mats, and merge with Mexico, Canada, and anybody else who wants to join in.

We will switch the defense budget with the welfare budget, and vice-versa.


Great Post, Homer!

[disgruntella]

34. yours too!

LOL for real!

[Oracle]

10. Democrat's are not "tax and spend."

But they do want to save social programs...republicans keep the tax money for themselves and gut social programs when there's no money left.

Democrat's want the rich to pay their fair share of taxes and stop them from hiding their money off-shore as well as taking jobs overseas for cheap labor and to avoid any taxes what so ever.

Liberals don't want to take away anyones guns..except to ban assualt weapons and better registration for hand guns.

No progresive liberal likes abortion. But believe it's the woman's right to choose, not government.

Rush is a liar, as is Hannity, neither are right, (except fo being right-wing.) Such distortion you throw out gives them fuel and it's much better to educate with the facts than to throw "satire" when they surely want to believe otherwise.

Liberals only want fair and well funded education for all. Not only for a select few, via vouchers.

The UN was correct, the invasion of Iraq was bullshit it was indded just for the OIl and the UN inspectors were right, there were no WMD.

No liberal cares one way or the other if a gay person wants to marry...just respect their rights to do so.

Our environment is indeed being assulted by the lowering of air & water quality and allowing the oil, coal and lumber industries, to avoid any regulations and to avoid paying for any clean up for the damage they cause.

Your speaking complete back handed bullshit...what your saying sounds like what you believe, what you think progresive liberal democrats are all about.

I truly know where your post lies...it's meant to sound like it's tongue and cheek...but I know better...which one, the pot or the kettle?

[Homer12]

13. Oracle

I'm poking fun at what conservatives and many, many, republicans really think.

I agree with you about what Democrats want.

I didn't mean to offend you, my post is a satire of the right and what they "Believe" what we stand for.

I'm not a conservative nor a repug by any means, but my orginal post is satire, and not a back-handed attempt to dis-credit what the left, liberals, and Democrats, and myself beleive.

[LoZoccolo]

11. Just wait until we have universal health insurance...

...we'll use it to implant you all with microchips!

[rucky]

12. Dude, they're really saying that...

aren't they?

And they call us tinfoil hatters. I call them tinfoil HATERS.

[LoZoccolo]

15. Yes, if tyranny comes...

...it won't be through the surveillance permitted in the USA PATRIOT Act, nor through manipulation of the media at press conferences, nor through a huge network of paid propagandists, nor through lies fed to the public about fake threats to national security...it's gonna come through HEALTHCARE!

<seriousness> I remember back when militias and what-not were being covered by the media after the Oklahoma City bombing, there was a woman on a CNN story talking about how she wouldn't bring her baby to the hospital for something that the baby needed, because she was afraid of them implanting a microchip. Real sad. I guess they were saying eventually go ahead with it, but they wanted to make sure no implant takes place. </seriousness>

This is our group hug:

:grouphug:

The blue smiley in the center...is Saddam.

[sham]

28. and birth control!

and electrodes that zap you every time you try to vote for a republican, or name a road/library/reservoir after a Bush, or step on a bug.

[mmm]

14. That is GREAT STUFF!

great sense of humor

[Meph]

16. yes and...

We are going to make all televangelists get real jobs!

We also are going to force Ann Coulter too choose one gender and stop trying to be both at once.

Then we are going to take all those religious nuts out there and have them committed, no more of this silly hiding behind the first ammendment Mr. Ashcroft!

[Tom Yossarian Joad]

17. Happy 300th! And now for something completely different...

Here's a postcard for the freepers.

[FredScuttle]

21. Sounds like Dean's platform

according to Tweety, El Pigbo, et. al.....you know, the "liberal" media

[ignatius]

24. Very funny, can I wear boots and bring my whip

when we're forcing them into submission?

On second thought, that thought just grossed me out.

Congrats on your 300th!!!

[Mixxster]

26. LOL

:thumbsup:

[sham]

29. And we will have government mandated public nudity!

Naked liberals as far as the eye can see. (Tattoos optional.)

[Philostopher]

30. And, fair is fair

All the many public edifices, roads, puddles and grease spots that currently have been renamed after Ronald Reagan will heretofore be renamed the 'William Jefferson Clinton' whatever.

[FlemingsGhost]

33. All GOP women will be forced to "shave."

'Cause when we say "No more Bush," dammit, we ain't foolin' around.