"How I Frightened a DUmmy Into Submission" (Walter Mitty alert)

[Modem Butterfly]

Absolutely priceless! This guy is a legend in his own mind!

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1418934/posts

I immediately engaged the punk in conversation and asked "where did you get such an offensive t-shirt?"

"I got it from Democratic Underground.com if it is any of your business," he snapped, "and if it offends you then too f*cking bad! F*ck your president and his godammed war too!"

Normally, I would have let the response go but for some reason his response just made my blood boil; metro rage, I suppose you could call it. So, despite the pleas of my two daughters, I got up and sat right down beside him.

"You know, back in 1969 when I was returning in uniform with a group of my shipmates from Christmas leave a bunch of anti-war hippies attempted to us in the old New York Port Authority Bus Terminal. They were isolated on the top deck of the bus station and, as servicemen walked beneath them, each was greeted with hoots and shouts of "baby killer" and some were even spat upon," I told him. "Unfortunately, for some of them, they happened to end up later on the identical train north from Union Station and were recognized when we sailors returned to our New London, Conn. submarine base. The end result for most of them were blackened running lights and busted snot lockers," I told him in the saltiest and sarcastic sea voice I could muster.

Edited to add:

Snot locker? Who the heck talks like that outside of a Beetle Bailey cartoon anyway?


Edited AGAIN to add:

Notice that this guy describes the t-shirt bearer as being an adolescent, describes himself as having 30 years on the guy, and says he was coming back from Vietnam in 1969. Uh, yeah. There were many 14 year olds who went to Vietnam. They served with great honor and distinction

[gratuitous]

1. Ha, ha!

Delusions of adequacy!

[democrat_patriot]

2. Too funny!

"I told him in the saltiest and sarcastic sea voice I could muster."

Did you sound like a Pirate??

"I got it from Democratic Underground.com if it is any of your business," he snapped, "and if it offends you then too f*cking bad! F*ck your president and his godammed war too!"

Really. So are we pacifist-hippies or punks with attitude? Now we snap?

This man is a liar, he did no such thing.

[Marnieworld]

6. arrrrrgh! Why do you hate America? Arrrgh! eom.

:-D

[GiovanniC]

30. Avast, Matey!

Why don't ye be havin' a seat whilst I regale ye wif me stories about swabbies I be beatin' fer disagreein' wi' me.

[Redstone]

63. You get the prize for funniest reply.

Hilarious.

Redstone

[maxrandb]

66. How Long Have You Been in the Navy Matey

"All me blooming life sir! I was born in the belly of the deep, and rocked in the cradle of a wave. Barnicles is me clothes, and seaweed is me hair. Every tooth in me head is a marlin spike, every bone in me body is a pure spar. When I spits, I spits tar! I am tough, I is, I are" arghhhh!

Only Navy CPO's will relate to the above

[Career Prole]

79. LOL! And freeper MeatDog (or whatever he calls himself) answered

"All day, sir...and I love it!"

[noiretextatique]

7. and he's a dumb liar at that

what a crock of :hurts:

[Marnieworld]

11. I don't think that he's even been to Port Authority

I've been all over the place and I can't imagine where this could have been. Big BS red alert when he said they were spat upon.

[JHB]

111. In fairness, he's taling about the "old" PA, not the current one....

...assuming the one in 1969 was different (I don't know).

...and now in fairness to you, maybe he can explain where "Union Station" is in NYC?
:evilgrin:


And suuuure, uniformed personnel are going to assault someone at the Pentagon Metro station for all the world to see... unless all they do is slap him on the back and say "Me too, buddy".

[DemBeans]

88. hmmmm

I'm surprised he didn't just sic the parrot on his shoulder after the kid.

[nadinbrzezinski]

108. Careful there we do have tthree squabies here

they are parrots...

:-)

[sniffa]

3. snicker

now, i'm frightened.

[The Witch]

4. So let me get this straight,

this guy thinks he has moral superiority because he told a dude with a T-shirt that he beat up someone else?

[TyeDye75]

5. So the moral is

its OK to threaten young people with violence if you dont like their T shirt

Woah BIG MAN

[lonestarnot]

94. What a puke!

[Career Prole]

8. "I made the long trek from my Southwest Virginia home

to Richmond to be with my two beautiful daughters..."

And thus starts yet another Freeper Penthouse Forum letter! :evilgrin:

[Modem Butterfly]

9. How much you want to bet one of his daughters is called...

"Fun Bubbles"?

[Career Prole]

72. LOL! Just a pet name he dreamed up one night while giving her a bath

when she was 19.

[Ignis]

76. Oh, the gene pool!

The Freeper forgot to mention the t-shirt his daughter was wearing:
"My daddy says I'm the best kisser in the county."

[mitchum]

87. How much you want to bet those daughters aren't his?

[Catrina]

19. I noticed one of them

suggested corporal punishment to stop young people from wearing tee shirts they don't agree with.

Wonder would it work to improve their spelling?

To: HamiltonJay
Liberalism is nothing more than perpetual adolescense.

Great line!


32 posted on 06/08/2005 10:27:20 AM PDT by frogjerk

[Modem Butterfly]

22. Heh. Some people like that sort of thing.

:spank: :spank: :spank: :spank:

Who's a bad little liberal t-shirt wearer?

:spank: :spank: :spank: :spank:

[Career Prole]

70. One of 'em suggested he use that as his "tagline"

None of 'em suggested correcting the spelling. :dunce:

[Sparkle]

77. What a bragger. Who asked if his daughters are beautiful?

[neuvocat]

83. "Dear Penthouse, I never thought this would happen..."

You know you would think that the guy would at least include the part where his hand was now a hook.

[Cats Against Frist]

84. LOL!!!

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[Tandalayo_Scheisskopf]

10. Someone attempting an impersonation...

of a Master Chief from a Dick Marcinko novel. With one hand down the front of his pants.

[BurtWorm]

12. I remember those days, hanging around bus stations, waiting

for guys in uniform to come along just so we could spit on them and call them baby killers. We used to go from one bus station to the next, and when we were bored with bus stations, we'd hang at the airport. It's a miracle we have saliva left.

Ah, the 1960s...

[VOX]

20. My tongue is as dry as an old wool sock!

Those crowded airport terminals overtaxed my salivary glands. :crazy:

[BurtWorm]

21. I knew we couldn't be the only ones.

Judging from all the stories you hear.

:insert smiley hocking a loogie:

[youspeakmylanguage]

13. An even better moral is...

...that expressing opposition to President Bush is akin to spitting on soldiers and calling them baby killers.

Oh, and wearing an anti-Bush shirt will instantly cause military personnel, people who have been risking their lives in the name of freedom, to start beating the wearer mercilessly because he or she was, um, expressing an opinion freely.

IMHO, it's the Freeper who posted this who is disrespecting the military and our troops through his insinuations and threats, veteran or not.

[Modem Butterfly]

18. I love how the kid just starts spewing obscenities

And then gets so scared he turns his t-shirt inside out.

[Guaranteed]

27. Exactly. Cuz that's what we all do, right? nt

[VOX]

14. Of course,his tale includes the stereotypical "anti-war hippies" who spit.

and shout "baby killer." :grr:

Really, now, couldn't the writer have allowed his imagination to soar above this shopworn, hoary, *undocumented* chestnut? :crazy:

[blm]

15. Odd that account was never documented. In fact, there were no stories of

Vietnam- era soldiers being spit on by "hippies" until Bush Sr. operatives decided to use that scenario before his 92 campaign and to further attack those veterans who came back to protest, since they expected that Kerry would plan to run at some point, and they would be able to smear anti Vietnam war Dems like Clinton, too.

Be mindful of the way they operate. They started campaign operations for 92 within weeks of taking office in 89. Atwater, Bush2 and Rove tried to plant stories, scandals and dirt wherever they could and they did so as a PRE-EMPTIVE strategy.

[Crankie Avalon]

16. Sounds like someone was watching "Rambo" again...

...pretty flowery and elaborate speech for something supposedly said in a heated confrontation. :eyes:

[wakeme2008]

17. He and Bush went to the same school of mathematics.... :) nt

[WLKjr]

23. Did EVERY SINGLE VIETNAM VET GET SPIT ON???

I seriously think it had to have been a few isolated incidents.


but I wasn't born or even alive then (but I was an embryo in my mommy's young tummy!)


Did any DU vietnam vets get spit on?

[Modem Butterfly]

24. Just the fourteen year-old sailors...

[WLKjr]

40. I just hear that all the time from these people who "served"

I had an aunt that was a nurse in the army at the time, and all she ever told me that happend was they never had a red carpet when they came home like the soldiers in GW1 had. That's the only thing she was upset with and the fact that it took them forever to honor those who died for a lie then.

[lonestarnot]

95. No, spit on one, spit on all mentality... the one our unions

should practice more of!

[Lerkfish]

37. I was alive then, and neither witnessed nor heard of any such thing

AT THE TIME, though I've often heard it brought up, oddly with no proof or corroboration frequently years later.

I'd be surprised for someone to prove me wrong, that protestors actually spit on returning vets. In my recollection, no.

I think a lot of people confused rhetoric with actual acts: like "protestors opposing the war is like a spit in the face of what we were honored to do" or some such.

every returning vet I knew was either treated apathetically or heroically on their return. there might have been incidents, sure. But like I said, I NEVER heard of them at the time, not in news reports or people's experiences related to me.

The exception might have been protestors of certain operations, like the Ma lai (sp?) massacre. But they were protesting the policy and the actions of those particular soldiers.

Remember, folks, the draft was real. Protestors knew THEY were on the chopping block like everyone else (unless they were rich). There'd be NO reason to spit on people that would be doing precisely what they would have to do if they couldn't end the war through protest or escape to canada.

what I DID see a great deal more frequently is older americans disparaging protestors and draft dodgers, calling them unamerican and telling them to leave the country (sound familiar)

[mahina]

49. My Dad did, right in front of me, by a woman. But that isn't what broke

his heart. That, his country did by sending him to a war that was a lie.
We knew he was broken hearted but not why, until after he died and we read his papers. I miss him every day.
He was a good man, with a heart of gold, and his life was wasted. And I am furious.
Sound familiar?

[WLKjr]

60. Just curious now, what did he have to say

sorry for bringing it up if you don't want to say anything about it.

[mahina]

78. It's 14 pages long. I got it out to respond to your question

but have to go to work now so can't really type it all in here.
He was a captain in the special forces, volunteered to go to Vietnam to help. He grew up hearing about Hawaii's 442nd and felt it was his duty to serve. If you don't know about Hawaii's 442nd I suggest you read up on them. Here is some of the report:

"I learned that many millions of US dollars of resources had been ostensibly designated for GVN support of Montagnards but never materialized. The resources existed but never materialized where intended. In every case we found the "nation building" program resources paid for by the US and memorialized by the GVN were diverted (stolen.)

......

Initially I could not find a single program, characteristic of feature presented to me in my earlier briefings that was recognizable. There were guards manning more than 10 ouposts, with very old rifles and shotguns, but without ammunition or means to call an alarm. The hamlets were silent. Few of the Jarais made eye contact with team members. I found 12 concrete "wells" that had been built by a Vietnamese contractor for the then MACV Province Advisor. These had been heavily featured in my orientation. None of the wells were ever in use other than for holding garbage. (Montagnards only use flowing water.) It was as if there were two different Edap Enangs, one fictional that existed in governmental records, and the other in our immediate reality.

There were 2 concrete buildings. The first was some 10' x 10' square and was to have been used as part of a proposed hydra electric plant. The second was a 3 room schoolhouse. Both structures had been made from cement with grossly excessive sand and were falling apart. Neither could ever be put into use as intended. Later I learned that these structures were monuments to fraud and GVN corruption....

By making every effort to make contact with and express interest in the GVN programs, the Provincial beaurocracy tended to overstate its' sucesses. Effectively they opened their books to me, a trained bank examiner in civilian life. I was able to document, in this situation, that GVN not only was continuously providing medical supplies including antibiotics but 4 trained Vietnamese medical technicians, one of whom was a qualified physicial. Of course these paid GVN employees were but ghosts, always paid but never materializing on the job. This was the same pattern I found with the "schools" and "hydra electric programs."

I will not include the details of losing his friends in firefights but the above is instructive today.

[WLKjr]

85. what's GVN?

[mahina]

89. South Vietnam govt

[Toots]

74. Just the Swift Boat LIARS and it was Kerry who spit on them

He and Jane Fonda together spit on them so they had to bring out the truth after all these years of how the Navy rigged it all. Kerry really wasn't even there. He and Jane were off smokin' dope and spittin' on war heroes.

[geniph]

75. My husband is a USMC Vietnam combat veteran...

...and he cries bullshit on that story, for several reasons. One: almost none of the servicemen returning home were readily identifiable as servicemen - most didn't wear their uniforms because they flew home on civilian aircraft. Two: there would be a hell of a lot more stories of hippies with busted jaws - he says no combat veteran would have been spit upon with impunity.

He thinks the stories arose from a handful of National Guardsmen (who never left the states, for the most part) who were probably spat upon by dumbass college kids after Kent State. The reason he believes that is because they'd be the ones who'd be in uniform here.

I like how that guy doesn't seem to be able to add up the numbers and come up with the proper ages to have served in Vietnam. My husband is among the youngest to see actual combat, and he's in his 50s.

[Career Prole]

98. It appears the freeper in question took a step back from that story.

Never threatened him with violence...I only told him a story about an incident that happened in December 1969. As I remember it, I was walking through the Port Authority Bus Terminal in NYC and there was a crowd of college-aid students on the second floor yelling at servicemen as well as some on around the huge waiting area handing out anti-war material. Some of the servicemen (most of us were returning from Christmas leave) were yelling back at the students (there were also a lot of obscene gestures being passed back and forth). One Marine that was going through the terminal blew his nose in the anti-war material and handed it back to one of the students which really set off the ones above into a frenzy. And, although I did not personally see any spit on, I did hear one of my shipmate buddies going back to New London talk about a spitting incident involving a soldier.

The infamous "Well, I heard someone once say..." evidence. :eyes:

[yurbud]

113. I think that was an intentionally planted urban legend

just as GOP today says anyone who criticizes war doesn't support the troops.

Hillbilly Hitler art:



Blog:

[King Coal]

25. Could one of you point Ol' King to where he can buy one of those shirts?

And then one of you point Ol' King to where he can find Meandog. We'll get to the bottom of this. LOL!

[JHB]

112. You used to be able to get one at Nosamj's site...

...may Jeff rest in peace, but now it looks like it's been disabled.

Someone else must have that sort of thing also, though.

[Jara sang]

26. Good one Modem

Beetle Bailey... :rofl:

[ellenfl]

28. i wasn't aware that submarines were the weapon of

choice in vietnam?

he never did say christmas leave from where. apparently they were stationed in-country?

i can't recall what vets called those soldiers who worked the 'back' (as opposed to the front) lines, but they were often the ones who strutted most. this guy sounds like one of them.

if anyone is registered over there, why don't you shoot some holes in his tale (tail?)?

ellen fl

[catnhatnh]

35. REMF...

...rear echelon MFs....

[ellenfl]

64. thanks. that's it. eom

[Beetwasher]

29. This Idiot's Never Even Been To NY, Or Doesn't Know WTF He's Talking About

Why the fuck would you go from PA (west side, forties) to Union (Square?) Station (E. side, teens) only to head back north on a "train" (subway???). Only subways run out of Union Sq.. North bound CT trains run out of Grand Central.

Lying sack of shit.

[Marnieworld]

42. Not to mention that it's hard to find a good spitting spot in PA

A simple mapquest would have lended to his credibility. How do you recognize someone who spat on you from several floors up anyway? I guess NY hippies sounded more evil to him.

[Modem Butterfly]

43. NY Hippies were a lot MEANER than the CA variety

Mellow out? You talking to ME? YOU mellow out pally! I got your mellow right here!

[Beetwasher]

48. Actually, That You Can Do!

There are levels that would give ample opportunity to spit on people below you, if you should choose to do so.

[Marnieworld]

54. Without being stopped though?

"Those crazy hippies are spitting on soldiers again. Eh? Whaddya gonna do?" And it's not like the soldiers would just sulk off instead of climbing the stairs to kick some stinking hippie ass. You are correct but still seems implausible.

[Beetwasher]

56. Oh, Yeah, The Guy's Full Of Shit, Obviously

I don't know what PA was like back in '69, but you certainly couldn't get away w/ spitting on ayone from a balcony today w/ out having a cop there in 5-10 seconds, even before 9/11. There's cops all over PA, always have been as far as I can remember.

[denverbill]

31. I think you are dead-on about the Walter Mitty thing.

This sounds a LOT more like what happened.

Freepers see someone in a anti-Bush t-shirt. Freeper mumbles to self about anti-American traitors. Person in t-shirt gives him a dirty look. Freeper shuts up, and imagines what he might have done, and posts THAT story.

[lonestarnot]

96. Nah, I've been approached by some pretty ignorant off the board

people myself lately. I always choose to fight back. Never over my t-shirt yet!

[Atman]

32. Maybe he was on to something?

Hey, I've been trying to tell DUers about the T-Shirtcountdown web site for a couple days now. It is the largest such site on the Web. When you click on it, you'll get these t-shirts as the TOP FOUR...'



This site is FREE ADVERTISING for the democratic cause. I am NOT shilling for my own site, although I am the #5 slot. EVERY OTHER AD is a liberal ad. So, I can see why this freeper thinks he can trounce us. 70,000 DUers here, and when I pointed out how this was bad "pr" for us, how easy it was to fix, how 10,000 some-odd people a day are seeing those four freeper ads above the fold when they visit this site, I was flamed by fellow DUers. Christ, guys! This is FREE ADVERTISING for US, not me. Don't vote for me if you don't want, to (although I am the closest, by far, to knocking these clowns out). Or, vote for ALL the liberal ads. But can't we get these shitheels off this page? Here is my alternative,



which sadly lies below the four above. If you visit, PLEASE rate down the freeper shirts by clicking on the blue t-shirt scale. You can't take away votes, but this scale also sends a message.

Here is the vote link. If you happen to want to buy something, even better...my bank account is dry as dust! PM me if you do. I'll try to make it worth your while...maybe a free signed print?

[fleabert]

105. done. and I voted for a few others too...

i like the 'cute ass' one a lot!

[SteppingRazor]

33. What Really Happened!

He yelled at the kid wearing the shirt, the kid yelled back at him, and he backed down.

Then he posted a fictional story to make himself feel better.

[Crankie Avalon]

34. As for the "spitting" business...

Stories of spat-upon Vietnam veterans are bogus. Born out of accusations made by the Nixon administration, they were enlivened in popular culture (recall Rambo saying he was spat on by those maggots at the airport) and enhanced in the imaginations of Vietnam-generation men — some veterans, some not. The stories besmirch the reputation of the anti-war movement and help construct an alibi for why we lost the war: had it not been for the betrayal by liberals in Washington and radicals in the street, we could have defeated the Vietnamese. The stories also erase from public memory the image, discomforting to some Americans, of Vietnam veterans who helped end the carnage they had been part of...

snip

...The truth is that nobody spat on Vietnam veterans and nobody is spitting on the soldiers today. Attempts to silence opponents of the war with those figments of hostility are dishonest and should, themselves, be banished from our discourse.

http://www.vvaw.org/veteran/article/?id=350

That being said, I understand there is a Vietnam veteran on DU named Tahiti Nut who swears he was once spat on.

[Modem Butterfly]

36. I don't doubt that there were some isolated incidents

But if spitting were a truly wide-scale event, as has been claimed since the 1980's, there would be some sort of hard evidence.

But we're losing focus here. Let's all point at the silly monkey and laugh!

:)

[Crankie Avalon]

50. Didn't notice this in your OP before...

Notice that this guy describes the t-shirt bearer as being an adolescent, describes himself as having 30 years on the guy, and says he was coming back from Vietnam in 1969. Uh, yeah. There were many 14 year olds who went to Vietnam. They served with great honor and distinction.

They called him a "baby killer," but he was really a "killer baby!"

[Modem Butterfly]

51. ROFL!

Oh that's fucking funny!

[BlueStateGirl]

38. I'd like to hear from the kid. If he bought the shirt from DU maybe he is

around here somewhere.

[Modem Butterfly]

41. I'm pretty sure the kid doesn't exist

And I wouldn't be surprised if the daughters didn't exist either. In fact, the only hard facts you can count on in that post are the existance of Richmond, The Pentagon, and a war called Vietnam.

[BlueStateGirl]

45. You are probably right, Just another delusional moran :)

[BiggJawn]

39. He went after the kid because he ain't got the balls...

...to take on an old-timer like me, because he KNOWS I'd rip out his "running lights" and shove 'em up his "snot locker"...

Such a Brave Sailor in 1969, living in his mom's basement and working at Buger King making Flame-Broiled Whoppers (he wears Paper Hats) now...

[lectrobyte]

44. I really hate it when everyone twists any criticism of * into a criticism

of the military. There seems to be a great big difference between wearring a t-shirt that says:

My Parents Voted Republican and All I Got Was This Stupid President

and spitting on someone and calling them a baby killer.

[MisterP]

46. a bunch of anti-war hippies attempted to us

attempted to WHAT?

[Walt Starr]

47. Okay, some DUer must FESS UP here!

There is no way in hell this guy is for real. This is a bad imitation of a Freeper by a liberal and I'll be a DUer. I'm amazed the Freepers bought his phony act.

[Modem Butterfly]

52. Did you notice the screen name of this particular freaker?

Now THERE'S a breed of dog I can support banning!

[Walt Starr]

58. I'm glad we agree on something.

;)

[youspeakmylanguage]

82. Is this some sort of sarcasm?

I'm amazed the Freepers bought his phony act.

Some great obeservations from a Keith Olbermann "Bloggermann" post comes to mind:

"Honestly, sometimes you wonder how they’ve lived so long without accidentally walking into an airplane propeller, or sticking their tongues against a metal pole in midwinter and not figuring out any way to get loose before they freeze to death.

You know the type. Every minute of every day is a wonderful surprise to them. What’s the big orange thing in the sky? Why is my chest moving? What’s my name again?"

He was talking about a conservative talk radio host, but that could apply to the whole of the lunatic conservative fringe, of which FR represents an even more pathetic fringe. The fringe of the fringe.

[Kipling]

53. FREEDOM OF SPEECH IS FOR PEOPLE I AGREE WITH!

There's a word for people who use violence to supress members of opposition parties. Fascist.

[AlCzervik]

55. Walter Mitty alert----lol!

[chaska]

57. Ooh, God, that's the worst writing since O'Reilly.

"Put down that pipe, baby, and get my pipe up."

[ComerPerro]

59. Even if his account is true, the part about military service might be BS

Wouldn't suprise me.

[LeftyMom]

61. That's a new shirt design

I don't think it's more than a week or two old. (Can somebody confirm the date that design became availible?) I don't think one could even have ordered one from CafePress, got it printed up and delivered yet.

[northzax]

62. and just for the sake of geography

he got on in Alexandria, not Arlington, the single most liberal district in Virginia (as well as one of the richest) you wouldn't get on a train in Arlington and go through Pentagon to the City.

one more thing, it is this guy showing disrespect for the military, that a soldier or sailor wouldbe so undisciplined to fight someone over a t-shirt.

[BornLeft]

65. Not to mention there were 2 empty seats!

That is truly amazing at those stops.

[northzax]

67. well, on a saturday morning...

I'm suprised he didn't complain about all the sweaty people from the Race for the Cure.

I am almost, but not quite, loath to point out that the 'capitol' is a building that would be closed on saturdays, DC is the nation's capital. But who's counting errors anyway?

[Career Prole]

68. "To: meandog"

Liberals are cowards, its the nature of their mental disorder... they are loud and boistrous when then know they are safe, but when it comes time for them to have to stand up to an equal or larger foe, they scurry under the rocks like the rodents they are.

5 posted on 06/08/2005 10:18:21 AM PDT by HamiltonJay

'Scuse me, HamiltonJay, but did you not know that the Army has fallen drastically short of its recruiting goals for four months running now?

Instead of cheering on psycho angle-heads who harrass kids and laughably and falsely charging liberals with cowardice, how's about you and your freepy friends hustle on down to the neighborhood recruiting station and help out your president, hmmm?

[fob]

69. "...a bunch of anti-war hippies attempted to us in the old NYPABT"

hippies attempted to us

Attempted to WHAT us? Typical idiot freeper.

[johnnie]

71. His story should be called

"How I intimidate people who have a difference of opinion than I do."

Of course that story could be told over and over by these shit-for-brains.

This guy is a bullshitter, and it's pretty obvious. There might be a little truth to something, but I think he has watched too many Clint Eastwood movies.


"And then I said to the kid, I piss napalm and shit little tiny submarines... I could flatten you out boy, if I was 40 years younger, 160 pounds lighter, not drunk off my ass, and my daughters weren't checking your ass out. So learn this lesson..punk... Next time I see you sitting in this station expressing your freedom of speech, I'll rip off your snot locker and shove it so deep up your ass that you'll smell this bullshit I have been laying on you for the last few minutes...got it..well, do ya..punk?"

[Redstone]

100. Oh, good God, that last paragraph was a perfect

parody. And funnier than hell.

Redstone

[Redstone]

73. It HAS to be either a DUer goofing on the freepers,

or if a freeper actually wrote it, he copied it from somewhere.

Nobody talks, or even writes like that in real life.

And note the part that says: "a bunch of anti-war hippies attempted to us in the old New York"...Wait a minute. The hippies "attempted to us"?

The missing word tells me he dropped something in the copy phase of the copy & paste process.

This is all so FUCKING funny! Thanks, MB, for picking it up and putting it here so we could get a good laugh.

Redstone

[RandomKoolzip]

80. I'd just LOOOOVE to hear the the dickbreathers over at CU grapple with

the problem this thread produces.

One of their favorite activities over at conservativeunderground.com is to "debunk" or just point and snicker at any and all stories concerning "freeper encounters" that DUers have. Now that there's an obvious Freeper telling tall tales out of school I'd just looove to hear them address this story.

Give it a shot, CUmdumpsters! I'm sure you hink it's real, dontcha.....

Assholes. I hope they choke to death on Karl Rove's poisoned jizz.

[northzax]

81. everyone should carry a SF-180 form

I have one in my bag, it's even better than enlistment papers, I've only used it once, but it was great to hand someone telling bad war stories the form. basically "prove it or shut up"

he didn't sign it, either.

[mitchum]

86. In case that freeper is lurking:

FUCK YOU, YOU BOOTLICKING, LYING PIECE OF SHIT!
Oh...and those daughters? They're not yours.

[RetroLounge]

90. What an Asshat Freeper fucktoid

:eyes:

RL

[H2O Man]

91. A legend in his own lunchtime.

Tough guys never need to brag about it.

[LisaM]

92. I've heard that EXACT story before

seriously, it rings a bell. The exact same story.

[youspeakmylanguage]

109. It has the classic characteristics of a lunatic right urban legend email...

...the same archaic language, the same narrative style, the same smug public grandstanding. It's like Jack Chick has one of this "writers" covertly emailing these things out to the flock every month or so. Or maybe they just have a Microshaft Word template. Fill in the blanks, like a Mad Lib.

I won't be surprised if this shows up on Snopes before the week is out.

Examples: here and here.

[OrlandoGator]

93. Fakest "I'm a tough guy" story I've ever read.

And the tales of returning vets from Vietnam being spat upon are largely myth.

[yankeedem]

97. He didn't finish the story

"He had a strange, pained, but pleasurable look on his face. I came forward to look, and my beloved daughter was under the seat Lewinskying the liberul. I turned back in horror- the Clenis had struck again. So I took my "The Spin Stops Here" jacket and threw it over the head of my virginal young angel. Surely I didn't teach her that to use it on some hate-America first LIEBERAL.

We missed the stop for the Capital, and I went to the National Cathedral stop to pray to Jaysus for guidance. Jaysus told me to smite the mighty Clenis".

Can anyone add to this?

[Gannon Man Date]

99. On your second edit...

He actually says:

"I noticed a pimply-faced youth (approximately early 20s)".

That would put the freeper in the right-around-twenty age group in 1969.

But yes, this has all the earmarks of a "cop jumped out of the bushes" story.

[Redstone]

101. Oh, Christ, I followed the link in the OP, and found out that

the retarded wankers at FR actually believe that this really happened!

"Hoo-wah" yourselves, you gullible FR dipwhacks! You're just too damn dumb to realize when you're being lied to...of course, that could go a long way toward explaining your voting record, couldn't it?

One Brave FR Patriot said, "You should have gotten his DU screen name so we could teach him a lesson," or words to that effect.

Tell you what, bozos: His screen name is Redstone. Come and get me. All at once, or one at a time, doesn't make any difference to me.

Redstone

[Groggy]

102. what a dumb ass....

And yeah I'm sure his daughters are real proud to have an ignorant fool for a father. Not that I really believe it happened anyway!! The guy sounds like a real knob.

[expatriate]

103. Popeye's True Confessions?

"I told him in the saltiest and sarcastic sea voice I could muster"?

I'm strong to the finish 'cause I eats my spinach!

Nothing in the world worse than a wannabe Captain Ahab. How pathetic. Avast, me hearties! Thar he blows - the great white bullshitter!

Hey, Cap'n - your harpoon seems to be having a problem staying stiff!

[GRLMGC]

104. That's so obviously fake

I love how they fantasize. It's so cute

[More Than A Feeling]

106. This one is classic!

"You are braver than I am. ;-) Those lefties are capable of such violence.

So was there any reaction from others on the Metro?

34 posted on 06/08/2005 1:28:45 PM EDT by TNCMAXQ"

*as TNCMAXQ* Those horrid lefties give me the vapors! I think I may faint. You're such a big strong man to have stood up to them!

Give me a bleepin' break.

[nadinbrzezinski]

107. Cute Submariners I know

don't speak this way... something about the good of the service and honor duty and commitment... let the fact that 14 year olds are not allowed to be in a navy base, unless they are dependents or Sea Cadets....

Ammusing

I have met some of these boys... always ammusing when you start pressig them for ahem details... and most of them don't even know the sub service was volunteer even at the height of Nam... or that they are known as the silent service for a reason...

Hey I married a submariner, I think I know what I talk about.

[bitchkitty]

110. VSD syndrome.

Very Small Dick. I wonder if he worked through the night on this yarn. Poor old sod. Oh well, I'm sure it beat his usual pasttime, whacking off all night.

[Redstone]

114. I think he actually did work all night on it;

I Googled some of the "key" phrases and nothing came up.

I believe that our fantasist really was writing his own fantasy, not copying someone else's.

But how on Earth do you suppose he ginned up the dreadful writing style?

Oh, wait, I remember...it sounds exactly like the "Men's Magazines" (such as True and Argosy) that my old man used to read in the 1950s and early 1960s.

That's where he got it.

Redstone