I've found Jesus!

[Tom Yossarian Joad]

And he's offered to drywall my house at a fraction of what the local contractor would charge.

Should I call Lou Dobbs?



(sorry)

[Sanity Claws]

I didn't know he was lost

[Fire Walk With Me]

3. He's keeping low-key

Doesn't want to get thrown in Guantanamo Bay for his radical ideas.

[Yo_Mama_Been_Loggin]

10. Besides he' s tired of that asswipe Bush saying he's his hero

Along with all the other assholes pulling shit in his name.

[Tom Yossarian Joad]

40. Reminds me of a movie trailer... He's back and He's pissed!

[donheld]

37. I sometimes wonder if Jesus knows

everybody thinks he's lost. I'm sure he knows right where he is.

[paineinthearse]

1. Praise the Lord and pass the joint compound

sorry

[Psephos]

2. I didn't know you'd misplaced him

[merh]

4. Is he weeping?

:cry:

You know cause of these Fristians screwing up his message and hard work. :shrug:

[Karenina]

7. No, he's being pro-active

[acmejack]

14. Very good, Karenina

Harhar!

[Tom Yossarian Joad]

16. He was okay in Vegas (graphic)

[NAO]

5. Found Jesus? Don't tell me he got lost AGAIN! (bumper stickers)

A few of my favorites from Evolve Fish.

Evolve Fish
http://www.evolvefish.com




*****



*****

[beam me up scottie]

9. ROFLMFAO!!!!

Hell, putting those on my car would get ME stuffed in a trunk where I live.

[Tom Yossarian Joad]

17. I found him in the Walmart Bathroom....

[chalky]

20. One of my favorites: "Jesus is Coming: Everybody look Busy!" n/t

[kliljedahl]

34. This one?

Keith’s Barbeque Central

[chalky]

39. That's the one!

:rofl:

[achtung_circus]

6. I thought He was under my couch

with the dust bunnies.

[davidinalameda]

8. piss on Lou Dobbs

after watching him last night, I have no respect for him--just another Hannity wannabe

[kliljedahl]

11. Let me guess

Under your couch cushions, right?



Keith’s Barbeque Central

[Island Blue]

15. Were you in prison lately? (nt)

[kliljedahl]

19. No, why do you ask?

BTW welcome to DU :toast:


Keith’s Barbeque Central

[Tom Yossarian Joad]

21. I guess some people think that making light of certain things should

result in a jail sentence?

[kliljedahl]

23. Making light?

That was a serious question. Can't tell you how many times I've found my car keys there.

On edit: Great graphic & I thought I'd seen 'em all


Keith’s Barbeque Central

[Tom Yossarian Joad]

24. LOL!

[kliljedahl]

28. By Billy Pilgrim?

Are those yours? I am so in awe.


Keith’s Barbeque Central

[Tom Yossarian Joad]

31. Thx! Used to be Billy, but BPilgrim had the name first, so I changed

when they gave the name change amnesty.

[kliljedahl]

33. Damn!! A bunch of my favorite books & movies referenced

in about 1/2 hour & haven't even mentioned your user name. Name change amnesty? I'm a relative newbie, what'd I miss?


Keith’s Barbeque Central

[Tom Yossarian Joad]

36. Oh, about 6 mos. ago, the admins decided to let anyone change their

name for those of us who occasionally made asses out of ourselves.

[Tom Yossarian Joad]

18. Naw, at an award show.... (graphic)

[paineinthearse]

12. Any Boston Bruins fans remember this one?

JESUS SAVES!

ESPOSITO SCORES ON THE REBOUND!!!!!

[YankeyMCC]

27. Yup

lol

[juajen]

13. Where was he?

N/T

[OldLeftieLawyer]

22. Is he bonded?

I wouldn't hire him without a considerable completion bond.

The guy has a reputation for disappearing for days at a time and then reappearing, claiming he was "dead."

[Stinky The Clown]

25. Call Lou?

Doesn't Jesus have a green card?

[many a good man]

26. My encounter with Jesus Christ

True story.

25 yrs ago I was working in college when a coworker, this hippie peacechick brought one of her friends into the office. He was a tall thin long-haired bearded gentle soul who looked like a five-cent portrait of Jesus Christ in ratty old clothes. I introduced myself to him and he told me his name: Jesus Christ.

I looked skeptical, so he showed me his drivers license. Sure enough, his name was Jesus Christ.

I only had time to speak with him for a short while. Everything he said-- sounded like Jesus Christ. He soon left and none of us every saw him again.

This one redneck guy in the office scoffed and snorted at Jesus and all the peaceful beautiful things he had to say. His opinion? "Just another loser with a gimmick!"

I've thought often about Jesus over the years. I wonder what he's doing now. I also wonder what would happen if the real Jesus were to reappear today in right wing America. Could he even get a job hanging dry wall?

[beam me up scottie]

29. Reminds me of the Dire Straits tune "Industrial Disease"

"Two men say their Jesus
One of them must be wrong"

[Tux]

30. Nope

After reading the Jefferson Bible, I'd say he'd smack ass and yell, "I'm Jesus, bitch!" I like how he ran the merchants from the temple and over turned tables. What was with him yelling that God forsaken him?

[johnfunk]

32. First, ask Jesus if he'll match the Subgenius Church offer...

of salvation or TRIPLE your money back!

[donheld]

35. Jesus sure gets around

He was our waiter the other night. He's not a bad waiter, but he just refused to turn our water into wine.

[China_cat]

38. Get that boy a GPS

He's always getting lost.