The Rude Pundit: "Howard Dean Will Fuck Your Shit Up"

[Jersey Devil]

I love this guy!

The Rude Pundit's said it before and he'll say it again: Howard Dean will fuck your shit up. Stand that motherfucker up at the gates of hell. Let that son of a bitch loose in the dainty Democratic china shop and let's break some fuckin' dishes. Howard Dean knows the score, man; he knows that the faithful, those who actually believe that the fight is not the path to surrender, want a spokesperson who's willing to pick up the unpinned grenade that just landed near him and shove it up the ass of the enemy who tossed it. Goddamn, it would have been magnificent to have seen him debate the President. On stage, Bush would have been begging for the privilege to lick the sweat off Dean's balls.

-snip-

Challenged on the Today show yesterday by Matt "Behold My Stubbly Mane That Indicates I Am a Grown-Up" Lauer, Dean picked up Lauer, slammed him on the faux coffee table and whispered, calmly, in Lauer's ear that Democrats are tired of being the bottoms of the political fuck machine. He said, "They have the agenda of the conservative Christians...the Republicans don't include people. Look, they are outside the mainstream." And Dean wasn't afraid to invoke truly inclusive Democratic ideas: "They have used words like quota to try to separate black from white Americans. They did scapegoat gay Americans by putting an anti-gay amendment on it--in 11 states where gay marriage is already against the law. And they are attacking immigrants. Two--two Republican congressmen, Jim Sensenbrenner and Tom Tancredo, have incredible anti-immigrant legislation. This is not the way America needs to be." Calling out motherfuckers for fucking their mothers is as brutally truthful as politics gets.

While the right wing media has tried to portray the Democrats as turning against Dean. Andrea Mitchell, who hasn't seen Alan Greenspan's personal interest rate rise in years ("C'mon, Al, gimme more than a quarter percent"), reported Monday that Dean was "making Democrats nervous." And there's quotes out there where people like Joe Biden and Nancy Pelosi say Dean doesn't speak for all Democrats. But surely there's some confusion in the ranks, when such a prominent, public face of the party takes off the gloves. More than anything, it's like a bunch of Missouri high schoolers around the lockers in 1963, when the first guy walked in after summer break with long hair. Sure, sure, everyone teased him for being gay or girly. But then everyone saw the Beatles on Sullivan, and barbers went broke. Watch for John Edwards' response on his blog to become a standard reply. Or at least it ought to, because if everyone says the same thing, then the story of "nervous Democrats" becomes boring.

This manufactured uproar over Dean all started in earnest (this time) with his appearance on Meet the Press on May 22, where, in so many words, Dean said, "Republicans are vile cocksuckers who deserve nothing less than to be shit on by legions of diarrhea-ridden cows. They have fucked up the Congress, the Presidency, the judiciary, and the world. Now why should I play nice with those goddamn evil powermad assholes like Tom DeLay?" And then the fun started, with Bill O'Reilly, who really ought to be sodomized with a microphone, vomiting out that Howard Dean was "a bitter and increasingly incoherent man." Last night, O'Reilly attacked Dean again, saying he was "nonsensical." But, of course, O'Reilly also was begging Dean to come on his show. Because, you see, Bill O'Reilly is a five-buck-a-blow whore.

More - http://rudepundit.blogspot.com/

[trotsky]

1. Oh man

I haven't laughed that much in a while.

Bill O'Reilly is a five-buck-a-blow whore.

If that isn't the truest thing ever posted on a webpage, I don't know what is.

[lonestarnot]

65. Woohoo a poster with some good sense!

[Warpy]

2. I agree with him this time

Now I know that lips are pursing and noses are lengthening over the fact that it's "juvenile" or "impolite" to tell it like it is, but ye gods, appeasment and imitation have lost the party all 3 branches of government and much of its voting base.

Juvenile, my flabby pasty ass. OVERDUE is what it is! The "tut-tut" crowd can fly to hell and back for all I care. They had their shot, and they turned out to be WRONG.

[SharonAnn]

76. The Plaid Adder's right on the money about Dean. It's a good thing!!

Check out what the Plaid Adder said.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=104x3820252

[tavalon]

84. It's rare that I don't agree with the Rude Pundit

and I always get a laugh. He's raunchy but he's on the money.

[Mad_Dem_X]

3. LOVE IT! The title alone is priceless

:applause:

[Carla in Ca]

74. No kidding!

Now, Rude Pundit, tell us what you really think!:rofl:

[Zenlitened]

4. ROFL! Now THAT'S a bumper sticker, right there!

"Howard Dean will fuck your shit up!"

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[Avalux]

8. LOL!!!!

:rofl:

[aeolian]

11. Oh, I want one already!

:rofl:

[Carolab]

37. Oh, yeah, ME TOO!

Can you imagine the reactions?

[Chovexani]

34. I want it on a T-Shirt!

It's funny 'cause it's true!

I *heart* Howard Dean. So much.

[Joanne98]

64. If you find a T-shirt let me know!

[Bluebear]

83. I've been saying it all day! :)

[Neshanic]

5. Now that's the good stuff.

[Southsideirish]

6. 'Gotta love the pundit!

[Avalux]

7. OMG this is GREAT!

"why should I play nice with those goddamn evil powermad assholes like Tom DeLay?" EXACTLY!! :rofl: :applause:

[Fleshdancer]

9. The Rude Pundit is pretty damn poetic with his profanity

I agree with what he said, but what really impresses me is the imaginative way he makes his point. I would never come up with "...Republicans are vile cocksuckers who deserve nothing less than to be shit on by legions of diarrhea-ridden cows." lol :D

[comsymp]

17. Poetic, indeed

That's what turned me on to him last fall.

Did you read his stuff around the Convention and debates? His advice to Kerry and Edwards before the debates should be emblazoned on the hearts of everyone here.

Y'all owe it to yourselves to hit his archives, especially Jul-Oct.

[bunny planet]

26. Oh yes, I remember those RP debate blogs well.

They were priceless.

[geniph]

56. I wouldn't have said it quite like this:

"...Republicans are vile cocksuckers who deserve nothing less than to be shit on by legions of diarrhea-ridden cows."

...me, I'd have said PIGS, not COWS. Omnivore shit is much more disgusting. I grew up around both pigs and cows, and believe me, there's no comparison!

[comsymp]

67. Damn, Geni-

You're right again- pigshit is NAAAASty! :hi:

[geniph]

77. Hi, hon!

Missed you around here! Oh wait, it was me that wasn't around! Well, whatever, I missed you!

:hi:

[FreedomAngel82]

10. Love it

I bet if Dean went on O'Reilly's show he'd whoop his little pansy ass too. Dean can handle these people. I love watching him on the press with people like Russert and whatnot. :) He doesn't take any shit. I think this whole "democrats are fighting" thing was definitley set up because of other things going on in DC and to get people away from talking about the Downing Street Minutes.

[IChing]

12. Nominated

in so many words, Dean said, "Republicans are vile cocksuckers who deserve nothing less than to be shit on by legions of diarrhea-ridden cows. They have fucked up the Congress, the Presidency, the judiciary, and the world. Now why should I play nice with those goddamn evil powermad assholes like Tom DeLay?"

[Straight Shooter]

13. "Manufactured uproar." You got that right, Rude Pundit

Howard-Powered and ready to rumble!

[Pithy Cherub]

14. ROFLMAO! The Rude Pundit plainly gets it!

:rofl: Dean is seriously at the frightened Dems tony garden party wearing leather and bringing a riding crop! Go Dean!

[BamaLefty]

15. NOMINATED!!!!!!!!!!

Damn right! :grr:

Kick this SOB to the top of the board!!

[burythehatchet]

16. My new tag line

On stage, Bush would have been begging for the privilege to lick the sweat off Dean's balls.

[Beam Me Up]

75. Oh, I would have paid dearly to have seen THAT!

:evilgrin:

[MisterP]

18. RP is very good at making synopses of media whores

[killbotfactory]

19. Damn Straight

suck it, Lieberwussy

[Fluffdaddy]

Dr, Dean I'm telling you what I told JK's wife..........Please SHUT-UP

Your are hunting us more then you are helping

[jonnyblitz]

22. WRONG.

:)

[Fluffdaddy]

29. No I'm not Wrong. I told the Fab Ms.T to Please SHUT-UP

:p

[TeeYiYi]

31. And you're bragging about that? nt

TYY

[Fluffdaddy]

36. No not bragging. But in both cases it needed to be said. The Good

Doctor is hurting us. We need people in those Red states

[hootinholler]

47. Fuck No Dr Dean

LOUDER!

-Hoot

[Beaverhausen]

54. People in red states need to be shown the truth

that the repubs aren't doing anything to help them.

[geckosfeet]

57. Politicos running for office in the red states can speak for themselves.

They can disown, distance themselves from, and badmouth Dean anyway that their chicken sucking asses want to.

To play to the red states the red state politicos need to find out how to campaign there. Its pretty obvious that what they have been doing for the last 16 years has been totally on the wrong track.

Whats wrong with telling the truth for a fucking change.

[geniph]

58. No one respects a doormat

No one.

You're entitled to your opinion. And I'm entitled to mine, which is that that is precisely the attitude that's gotten us in the position of being perenially bent over the political table with no Vaseline in sight.

[Fluffdaddy]

69. You Get more flies aka votes with honey then with insults

other wise in 2008 we will be on the outside looking in again........The choice is ours

[geniph]

78. Who the hell wants to catch flies, anyway?

and, as I've always pointed out, if you're catching flies, you'll get more with shit than with honey. And even more with corpses. Very flawed analogy, in my view.

[Warren DeMontague]

91. Really. Turned on AM Radio lately?

Or I guess even though the right wing has popular pundits who essentially say that the best way to talk to a Democrat is with a baseball bat (Ann Coulter) we're supposed to "play nice"... because that's worked so well for us in the past. Why, just ask Tom Daschle!

Hmmm. What's your plan, then? Maybe figure out which of the few remaining core issues and constituencies we haven't totally sold down the river (Gays, Reproductive Rights) we can jettison overboard in elusive pursuit of those "heartland" voters? Or, maybe we just need to talk about Jesus more.

Last year,we didn't run Teresa, we ran John Kerry, whose biggest mistake was not immediately putting his boot up the ass of Jerome Corsi and the swift boat liars. That's one of the reasons we lost. Another was widespread voter disenfranchisement.

It wasn't because of TK, and it certainly wasn't because we were too "strident".

Thanks for the 'helpful advice', but I'll stick with the ass-kickin' doctor.

[Misunderestimator]

95. Really? I guess that explains why we won the election...

Oh yeah... we didn't.

Howard Dean...
............................:yourock:

[BronxBoy]

105. Um

Haven't the Dems moved a sea change to the right over the last 15 years?

What's it gotten them except more and more out of power?

[Bluebear]

106. Amen to that.

[Coexist]

82. as a red neighborhood, red county, red stater

A piece like this is what will get people to stop and think of Dems as other than latte-sippers.

Growing up in a northern steel town, Dems to me were rough, labor-union types. Guys who hung out at the VFW, shared pitchers of beer, and talked politics while all their kids played pinball and ran around being goofy.

The idea of Dems as prissy was a shock to me. The people here (where I live now) who are swingable are the same types I grew up surronded by. They are regular people who curse. We will never get the bible-thumping, prejudiced, holier-than-thous here. We will absolutely get the regular people that the right has scared and lied to for so long.

Dean is just what the Dr. ordered and columns like that may offend at first, but make you think while you chuckle. Maybe change the perception that Dems are weak. Empathy is not a weakness, it is a strength - and as I am tired of hearing from my rough-and-REDdy neighbors - if ya' wanna' make an omelet, ya' gotta' break some eggs.

[Fovea]

97. Which is why the good doctor is carrying the fight there

The voters there are *hurting* worse than the blue states, and the blue states are really hurting.

They do not need joementum, they need a smack upside the head to wake them up. Then they need to be shown the box of axe-handles.

[Turn CO Blue]

98. People in Red States won't vote for wussies.

They don't necessarily admire "statemanship" and diplomacy. They do admire plain-spoken bluntness from people who don't beat around the bush. They call that kind up upfrontness "honesty" down there. They'll vote for people who speak plainly.

[SammyWinstonJack]

104. I don't want him to shut up!

Speak for yourself.

[BiggJawn]

32. Mary Beth, is that you?

When you've been "helped" into the position of-how did that go again?-"The bottom in the political fuck machine"? I can't see how anything Howard Dean could say could "hurt" us.

Unless possibly it would "hurt" us by waking some people up and making "Evil Genius" Rove's job more difficult...

Yeah, spoil that image of Democrats as Good Little Lapdogs.

[RetroLounge]

52. Bullshit

Spineless DEMS are what's hurting us...

Go Dean!

RL

[converted_democrat]

66. I agree completely. I'm tired of Dems not having a spine. I love the

Democratic party, but we need spine.

[mondo joe]

63. Yes, because playing nice has gained us so much in the last 10 years.

I'm delighted to have Dr Dean getting this attention.

If I'm going down I want to at least go down fighting.

[tavalon]

85. And hopefully he will ignore you

Just like Teresa did.

edited to a add a "p" in an appropriate place.

[Stinky The Clown]

20. If Rude Pundit is a woman, this guy wants to have her baby.

If Rude Pundit is a man, this guy *still wants to have his baby.

Well stated in language I can understand!

[jonnyblitz]

21. "in the dainty Democratic china shop"

ain't that the truth.

[Duncan Grant]

61. I thought that was the best line in the whole piece.

:thumbsup:

[lectrobyte]

23. Rude Pundit, you rock.

[XemaSab]

24. If Dean went on O'Reilly

He'd mess O'Reilly up.

I think there might be a liability issue for the party. I don't want my party contribution going towards keeping THAT asshole on a feeding tube for the next 15 years.

[bunny planet]

25. Thanks for reminding me how much I love the Rude Pundit.

I was depressed after the election so I haven't been reading him lately but I really must start again.

He has such a way with words.

[meganmonkey]

27. Deeeeeeelicious!

:applause:

[bunny planet]

28. Maybe Dean is the Rude Pundit.

Has anyone ever seen both of them in the same room at the same time?
:evilgrin:

[lectrobyte]

30. Bill O'Reilly is a five-buck-a-blow whore

I read it on the internets, so it must be true.

[bunkerbuster1]

41. We should not spread the rumor that Bill O'reilly is a $5 whore

that would be wrong.

[lectrobyte]

45. if I had more free time, I'd start a google-bomb for that very

subject... :-)

[geniph]

59. You're right, that asshole would do it for a nickel

or some free publicity.

[katamaran]

88. Absolutely

Comparing Bill O'Reilly to a $5 whore is an insult to honest "working" women (and men) everywhere.

[AspenRose]

33. Wow, THERE's a mental image

"Republicans are vile cocksuckers who deserve nothing less than to be shit on by legions of diarrhea-ridden cows."

:wow:

[AuntiBush]

35. In other words... "Dr. Dean has SPINE!" The Media-Whores should

"duck," as lame as they are when the Doctor is in the house.

Dr. Dean has my full support and I luv the post!

:kick::patriot::kick:

[kentuck]

38. That's how far we have sunk?

That this is how we have to respond to the Republicans? Unfortunately, it is true. :)

[Jersey Devil]

39. We should be more genteel

That's how many of the Dem Senators are after all. A graceful and sweeping gesture with one's arm will change the tide, right?

No! That's how we got into this fucking mess! Too many fucking tutus!

[sendero]

101. Genteel?

Yes. In the Cavuto/Bush interview Rude Pundit wondered if Cavuto's assistant offered him a towel to wipe his buggered sticky ass.

I think he should have said "moist towelette" instead.

Yes, more genteel :)

[comsymp]

44. It's a Big Tent -

Room for every opinion and every way of expressing them. Ain't it great!?

[nolabels]

89. That tent must have one large set of outhouse walls on it somewhere

I haven't heard this many expletives since leaving work earlier today.

So poetic though I just loved it :loveya:

Talking shit is actually a delicate art, one must be very careful not to get any on oneself while working with it :hurts:

[geniph]

60. I don't consider it sinking, myself

I consider it RISING, as in rising to a challenge. Only a fool brings a knife to a gunfight.

[Abies]

40. Woooo Hoooo! Thanks. (n/t)

[Coexist]

42. I like it.

[LibertyorDeath]

43. Bravo to the rudepundit for laying it all out so succinctly

"This manufactured uproar over Dean all started in earnest (this time) with his appearance on Meet the Press on May 22, where, in so many words, Dean said, "Republicans are vile cocksuckers who deserve nothing less than to be shit on by legions of diarrhea-ridden cows. They have fucked up the Congress, the Presidency, the judiciary, and the world."

[Ms. Clio]

46. Absofuckinglutely priceless and 1000% correct n/t

[WillyT]

48. Loved It !!! - Thanks For Sharing !!!

:yourock:

[livinginphotographs]

49. "C'mon, Al, gimme more than a quarter percent"

:rofl:

And if anyone starts selling "Howard Dean will fuck your shit up" bumperstickers, I want one.

[ananda]

50. my country's shit has already been..

.. fucked up royally by Bush and co. and the one-party state, by Republicans with fascist autocratic values.

Sue

[fujiyama]

51. Howard Dean is a mushroom clowd laying motherfucker, motherfucker!

Hell ya!

[Al-CIAda]

53. DAMNED STRAIGHT! n/t

[geckosfeet]

55. Thats not nervousness,,,,, its giddieness !! Chew them up Deano !!

[SeattleRob]

62. Yeah!!!! Go Rude Pundit! Go Howard!

:kick:

[robertpaulsen]

68. Dean is The Freak. He will fuck you up for life!

And Rude Pundit is Crazy People!

:toast:

[HeeBGBz]

70. I like this part

"Challenged on the Today show yesterday by Matt "Behold My Stubbly Mane That Indicates I Am a Grown-Up" Lauer, Dean picked up Lauer, slammed him on the faux coffee table and whispered, calmly, in Lauer's ear that Democrats are tired of being the bottoms of the political fuck machine."

Hahahaha, truth hurts. This guy should run for office.

[LightningFlash]

71. Howard Dean doesn't pull any punches....

And all he needs to do is make sure his message is completely laser. He is the only chairman the DNC should have.

[Bake]

72. Rude Pundit RULES!!

And Dr. Dean ROCKS!! I have been critical of some of Dean's comments, but I am changing my mind. We'll never get the rabid right voters, so let's just beat the shit out of 'em by telling the TRUTH!!

Did Dean say anything that wasn't the TRUTH?? HEEEEEEEELLLLLLL NO!!

Nice to see a Dem with a PAIR!! And a SPINE!!

Bake

[linazelle]

73. Damnnnnn..."O'Reilly is a five-buck-a-blow whore." LUVIT!!! nt

[The Jacobin]

79. I've said it before

Hell, I may make it part of my sig:

Dean motivates the base of this party. If you don't like what he says, then take a good long look in the mirror at yourself -- because you ain't part of the base anymore.

:grr:

[RetroLounge]

80. Pure Poetry!

"Republicans are vile cocksuckers who deserve nothing less than to be shit on by legions of diarrhea-ridden cows. They have fucked up the Congress, the Presidency, the judiciary, and the world. Now why should I play nice with those goddamn evil powermad assholes like Tom DeLay?"

:rofl:

RL

[truth2power]

81. RP is absolutely right!!! Love his stuff. And did you read

the last paragraph?

"You've seen Dean's arms? Big, thick sons of bitches. He can bear it. And he can throw it back at them. As long as those behind him don't put him in handcuffs." A-MEN!

edit> Recommended.

[insane_cratic_gal]

86. ROFLMA

*crying* this one line

"Let that son of a bitch loose in the dainty Democratic china shop and let's break some fuckin' dishes."


Ooo that was funny, makes you appericate this "piss of" attitude even more.

Thank you!

[Al-CIAda]

87. .

[ngGale]

90. I love the way this guy thinks...

he's right about Dean.

[JNelson6563]

92. Funny stuff

Now that's what I call "takin' it to 'em"!

:toast: Julie

[Hubert Flottz]

93. I'm an instant fan!

He ain't even Bullshittin'!

[Misunderestimator]

94. Brilliant!

[comsymp]

96. Y'all know Rude is doing a live show in NYC, right?

In August, the Rude Pundit will perform a one-man show at the New York International Fringe Festival. The exact dates and venue are still TBA, but there will be at least five performances in New York City between August 12 and August 28. The show, The Rude Pundit in The Year of Living Rudely, will feature spankin' new, un-blogged material.

http://rudepunditshow.blogspot.com/2005/06/rude-pundit-live-in-august-rude-pundit.html

Lord, I'd love to be able to see that~

[Ms. Clio]

103. Damn, sounds kick ass, wish I could see that, too n/t

[DinahMoeHum]

99. Much as I respect moderates like Al Gore, Rude Pundit is spot on

about folks like him.

http://rudepundit.blogspot.com/

(snip)
"...Al Gore. . .keeps making amazing, passionate, intelligent speeches with all the impact of a fly fart at a System of a Down concert...."
(snip)

LMAO !!

I like Dean because he's an ass-kicker; and at this point I'll applaud ANYONE on the Dem side who kicks serious butt - even if the Freudian slip shows every now and then.


:kick:

[redqueen]

100. DEAN SPEAKS FOR ME!

I love what he's doing, and 'establishment dems' had better fucking take note that they may soon be replaced by Dems with BACKBONE.

[Al-CIAda]

102. .

[KittyWampus]

107. Wow, That Felt Good

:D

[Fovea]

108. If Howard Dean intends

to cut the balls off Karl Rove, I have a dull, rusty knife I would be happy to lend him when I am done pissing on it.

To paraphrase a favorite play, "I could peel Rove like a pear, and God himself would call it justice."