Has Political Correctness Gone Too Far

[iamjoy]

Are we too PC? I used to sort of think so. Several months ago, I read a book called "The Language Police" and the author was that difernt interest groups were censoring what our kids learned. And the kids get cognitive dissonance because what they read and learn in school doesn't match what they observe in the world around them.

Conservative groups go after anything they consider deviant (Falwell's crusade against characters who appear gay or too tolerant of homosexuality). Liberals are trying to be so P.C. you can't have a children's story with an Asian laundromat owner because that is a stereotype. And I sort of thought, yeah, we've gone too far.

But a few weeks ago, I was with a friend. She and her husband both work full time and have a son who is almost six. Now her husband does not give the appearance of being a chauvanistic jerk, but he doesn't help much around the house, or with the yard or with much of anything, really. I don't want to male bash, but it seems like a lot of guys still act as if housework is women's work, even if they don't say it. My husband acts like he should get a medal if he does a load of laundry. When he was growing up his mother did some stuff and they had a weekly maid for the rest. So anyway, my friend was telling me that she was asking her son to do some chores around the house and he said, "That's your job." Now, where do you think the kid learned this? From his Dad, I bet. But from school too.

It is a perpetual cycle of men not learning from their fathers that housework should be shared when the mother works outside the home, so they don't teach it to their kids. So why shouldn't schools try to show a different way to these kids to hopefully avoid another generation of well-meaning chauvanists? But is that dumping on our schools? And how else do we affect change in society? Not just with household chores, but with encouraging tolerance and eliminating the stereotypes that can lead to prejudice?

[Retired AF Dem]

1. If it makes you feel any better

My wife makes much more money than I do (not complaining), so I do the housework, yard work I let her do the grocery shopping. And since she pays much more in taxes than I do I let her spend the returns the way she wants.

[LynnTheDem]

12. You "let" her?

Hmmm.

[Warpy]

2. How did your friend deal with the chauvinist kid?

I'm dying to find out. Personally, I'd have decided that he needed the next level of potty training and if he wanted cooked meals, clean clothing, and an orderly room, that was HIS job.

Guys grow up expecting to get an unpaid domestic servant when they marry because their fellows tell them that's what to expect. We have very little control beyond the potty training I just mentioned.

Some men respond well to it, others bitch and moan and whine and nail themselves to the cross so much that we just do the extra workload to get them to shut up. Then we leave them.

My generation was the one that found out having it all meant DOING it all. We really did try to raise sons who knew how to run a washer and dryer, cook simple meals, wash dishes, and pick up after themselves.

They just forgot about it when they left home.

[Pobeka]

4. And here's a son with a new unforeseen problem.

My mom taught me how to do the laundry using "Mom's sorting method". My wife uses "Mrs Pobeka's sorting method". When I try to help out around here, Mrs Pobeka boots me out because I can't sort clothes correctly.

Of course, then I have to go cook dinner. :D

[BlueStateGirl]

3. I would guess he learned that at home. If his father doesn't help

around the house, he obviously sees that and assumes that it is his mother's job. I would guess, at school he'd be exposed females in different roles. A teachers, administrators, bus drivers, crossing guards, etc..

Since he is so young I would think most of whathe knows about the world has been learned at home.

[xchrom]

5. the short answer is no.

pc is simply trying to create avessel to train the culturally trained brain to begin to think differently.

[SmokingJacket]

6. My sons used to think all doctors were women...

and that women didn't cook!

My husband does all the cooking in our house, because he's better at it than I am and because he actually likes it. He wasn't taught it from his parents, who were very traditional. But part of the agreement when we got married was that we'd be equal partners -- we'd divide up responsibilities in ways that made sense, not according to someone else's idea of how we should act. (It took my mother in law a long time to stop praising *me* for the delicious meals we served!)

One way to stop stereotypes is to stop acting in stereotypical ways.

Women shouldn't tolerate unequal divisions of labor, and schools should not be allowed to reinforce stereotypes (I don't think they do, actually).

[CrispyQ]

7. My Avon rep who told me her story.

Many years ago, she told her husband she wanted to sell Avon & save the money for more spectacular vacations for the family -- she, her husband & 2 sons. She told hubby it would be helpful if they hired a maid to clean house so she could focus on her business. Her husband said no way. If the boys were going to benefit from her working then they were going to contribute too. So hubby & wife set about training the boys how to do housework & laundry. The boys were pre-teens.

Many years later when her first son got married, her DIL told her that her son could clean house better than she could & what a treat it was to have a husband who knew how to do laundry.

A few years later, her son told her that learning how to be self sufficient was the best thing mom & dad ever did for him.

on edit: Currently I am friends with a woman whose husband thinks that because he makes more money than she does he doesn't have to help around the house. I told her that since the both spent 40+ hours away from the home, the contribution of work should not be measured monetarily, but rather in time away from the family/home. Therefore, he should happily contribute his fare share of leisure time to household chores. He's a little bent out of shape with me since she brought up this argument & she still does the lions share of housework.

[Igel]

8. The last couple of years the NY State regents exam

has been beset with complaints about PCness.

They'd provide citations from decent literature for the students to read, answer questions about, and comment on.

Anything that could give offense to numerous groups was tacitly edited out of the "quotes", without even an ellipsis to show it was removed.

Discrimination against Jews? Gone. Racist language in a book dealing with racism? Gone.

Everything was nicely bowdlerized, late 20th-century style.

[tnlefty]

9. I must object: "that housework should be shared when the mother

works outside the home". It needs to be shared anyway. I signed up to be the full time parent. It was a mutual decision. I do the bulk of it, but I am not the maid. They outnumber me 4 to 1. I'm not the one who doesn't hit the toilet - they are and they can clean it up. They are much messier people than I am and they need to learn to pick up and clean up after themselves. I do the bulk of the yardwork, I don't ask for help for the things that I can do by myself, but my kids need to learn to care for things, too. They've learned a lot about plants and how to care for them. There's a lot to do and believe me, when the kids are in school, I'm not out shopping and having lunch with the girls.

[stevans_41902]

10. I think schools could do better

by encouraging women to excel in math & science at an early age. I took a Psych of Gender class and it was amazing how lots of grade school teachers have biases that boys are naturally better in mathmatics/science so they encourage them more. Also, teachers are much more likely to punish girls for speaking out of turn or interrupting than boys. Many of the teachers didn't even realize that they had these prejudices. More needs to be done to make teachers aware of this natural tendency to let guys get away with more b/c "they are the more agressive sex." I don't think making guys take more classes like home-ec will do anything b/c lots of guys in my high school took it just for the easy A, but I know most of them would still expect women to do all of the housework in a relationship. Luckily my boyfriend thinks that men and women should share the household responsibilities (i would not be dating someone who thought cooking, cleaning, etc was "womans work") Lets just see if he holds true to his beliefs when we move in together soon:) I know he doesn't know how to do laundry b/c his mom always did it for him.
What do you all think about single sex education to solve the problem of guys overpowering classroom discussions? On one hand, I think it is important for the genders to know how to work together, but after having gone to an all girls college for 2 years then going to a co-ed state uni., I do see the benefits of single sex education.

[CrispyQ]

11. You make a really good point.

Everyone should be self-sufficient & that means knowing how to clean a house/apartment/room, how to do laundry & how to cook at least a few simple meals.

I read an article some time ago about the increase in the number of households that hire someone to clean their house. They interviewed several of the house cleaners & the general consensus was that left on their own, many of today's youth (and some parents as well!) would live in total squalor. Where ever they drop their clothing is where it stays until someone else picks it up.