I can't WAIT to Fire Up my Diesel Powered "I Told You So" Machine

[mopaul]

and no, i haven't forgotten the humiliating failure of my patented 'people wake up, bush is a maniac' machine. but that machine was powered by solar panels, and my newest creation runs on god's own pure diesel fuel.

the new machine has many improvements over the old model, and it screams, in my own grating voice, several variations of 'i told you so', all set to blast through gigantic speakers mounted to trucks and set to 11 on the dial. so when the next terror attack occurs i can crank that puppy up and roll down the thoroughfare blasting out 'i told you so' at earbleeding volume.

when armageddon arrives as prophesied but the rapture doesn't, 'vroom--vroom--i fuckin' told you so dumbshit'

when jerry falwell is appointed guardian of the official faith and overseer of holy torture, 'vroom VROOOOM---i told you so you fucking morons, i fucking told you so' till their skulls implode.

[havocmom]

1. I hear ya

yes I do

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

2. Can you get an assembly line going so we can all have one?

About thirty years ago I had an old coal-fired one, which I put to good use after it was proved that, as I had been insisting for almost two years, that Nixon was, in fact, a crook. And that old machine did a mighty fine job, and it made me feel reeeeeal good. But when the excrement finally impacts the airfoils this time I want a state-of-the-art, goes-to-11, googoldecibel, scream-from-the-rooftops I TOLD YOU SO machine. And don't think I won't use it. I don't care if takes down the power grid and deafens everybody within a thousand miles.

[mopaul]

3. a caravan of i told you so machines!

i told you so machines from all over the nation, a convoy of screaming, gloating, all night long till they wanna puke.

the new model is based on the early 70's coal burning version, which were great old workhorses. they will soon go into mass production and i will CLEAN UP! if anyone else wants in on the ground floor, send them to me, and if they decline and miss out on the big bucks, at least you'll have the satisfaction of telling them, 'hey, i fucking told you so chump'.

[mopaul]

4. I told you so kick

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

5. A gas-turbine I TOLD YOU SO machine.

Used jet engines are pretty cheap these days. Get an old JT9-D off a retired 747, fire that sucker up, and let 'er fly.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

6. Like this:

I TOLD YOU SO!

[Bake]

7. How about when MJ gets caught on video blowing a 10-year old?

Vroom vroom?

Sorry, I had to. Seems to be the topic du jour, for some reason.

Bake