I think I'm on the edge of divorce

[smurfygirl]

Well, thanks to Bush's economy my marriage has officially gone to shit.
I'm late on every fucking bill I have and can't find the money to get out of the hole. I've lost my dog, had to get a new roof before my other collapsed in and my husband and I are constantly fighting. I tried getting a better paying job but there aren't any that will pay me that much due to I haven't worked in two years. So, I'm on the verge of lossing everything I have along with my husband. I tried to get a home equity loan to consolidate my debt and they sent a libertarian to my house to appraise it. He gave us the lowest appraisal possible and then charged me 300.00 for it. I am devastated and just want to lay down under a tree and say fuck everything. Is anybody else out there going through this and knows how I feel right now? Thanks for letting me vent.
- Broke in Bush's America

[spooked911]

1. My sympathies-- that sounds horrible

I hope things get better soon for you.

[RalphReedsWreckedEm]

2. I'm so sorry - I can relate

I was seven months unemployed during this illegitimate administration. I managed to get back on my feet, but I nearly lost it all. I know many who have. I empathize greatly with you and pray that you will get back on your feet. Don't let the Republitards get the best of you. Rise above it, hard as it may be - and I know it is incredibly hard. They caused this. They have brought misery to our country and this world - and they have brought it to our lives. Fight it. Fight with everything you've got. Fight for a better day. I nearly lost it all, but I fought back and now I am here to fight to keep holding on. You can do it.

[CottonBear]

3. Hang in there. Have you called Consumer Credit Counseling?

They can assist you in negotiating lower rates with the creditors and they will help you arrange reasonable payments.
:hug:

[BlueEyedSon]

5. Hey if you go that route, what happens to you credit score

are the any other bad "side effects"?

[faithnotgreed]

8. its on your credit for up to 7 yrs but if you pay off what you owe before

the 7 yrs then its supposed to be taken off

but its not as bad as bankruptcy

[faithnotgreed]

7. good suggestion. i think greenpath or consumer credit counseling centers

of america is their other name

they are supposed to have a good reputation if youre late on bills and have creditors calling

best wishes. please hang in

[NeoTraitors]

9. Don't give up!

Freeze spending and do whatever you can to earn some dough. Wish I could help with more than just a couple of obvious suggestions. But whatever you do don't give up! Together we will get through this and have a prosperous tomorrow.

[BlueEyedSon]

4. Exactly, Gay marriage is not a threat to marriage, a fucked economy is!!

[NYPagan]

6. The goddess works in mysterious and wise ways.

She will provide, relax, hold on to the important stuff, the rest is just noise.

[SoCalDem]

10. Before the BK bill takes effect, you could "bail out"

and start fresh.. Once the burden is lifted, you might have enough money to live..but it would mean no more credit for a while (affordable credit).. But oif you are that close to losiing it all, you might try that..

My friend did it a few years ago, and said it was the best thing she ever did.. They could finally sleep at night..

[catmandu57]

16. Some people will say to never go the bk route

but sometimes that's the only way there is, It's better to go bankrupt than to go insane and pay with the very essence of your life, do ir if you can, get out from under the shit, don't buy anything by credit afterwards, throw away the offers.
Do it soon though.

[elehhhhna]

18. Do it. Credit counseling can be a scam--Catholic charities IIRC runs

one of the "legit" ones. But BK hits the reset button and you can clean up your creit much sooner.

Google "personal bankruptcy" and your state & learn!

[SoCalDem]

20. AND.. if your house has appreciated, just SELL it after the BK is final

Maybe the equity you have in it, would allow you to pay cash for a smaller home that would be yours..and not some bank's.:)

[King Coal]

11. Buck up Smurf.

I've been there and visited the snack bar. It gets better.

[notadmblnd]

12. There should be no reason for this to happen to people

my husband and I were on the same tack, he was sick and couldn't work, company jerking him around and delaying benefits, falling further behind each and every month. I'm sure it added to his stress and contributed to his death.

About a year before he died, I decided to file bankruptcy. I was told to keep my house payment up to date and my car if I wanted to keep it. And thats exactly what I did. My bankruptcy was discharged about 6 months before his death and our last few months we were together we were at peace with each other.

Time is running out though, the new law takes effect in October so if you decide to do something like this, you should take action soon.

I don't regret it for a minute.

[NYPagan]

17. I wouldn't regret it either...not when...

There are thousands of new millionaires running around, wasting money on jets and yachts. Money I could use to pay for my food and shelter. WHat right do they have to so much, when I have almost nothing?

[China_cat]

13. Yes, I know just how it feels

We went from a $50K/yr job to unemployment in 3 days. Unemployment (not the benefits) lasted 2 years. I finally broke the phone so it no longer rings and I don't have to listen to people yelling at me about the money we owe.

We managed to keep the house and the car. How we managed to keep each other is still a mystery. But now, at a time when my husband should be thinking about retiring (he's 57), we're looking at having to work until at least 80 just to pay off what we owe.

The longer it goes on, the less you feel like doing about it because it looks less and less like you CAN do anything about it. I'm sorry you're going through it.

I know that doesn't help.

[Blue Belle]

14. I am so sorry...

I can relate. I'm still paying off staggering medical bills and I can barely keep up. My job may or may not be here tomorrow, and for the first time in a long time, I'm terrified that I'll lose my job and won't be able to find one that will pay me decent. I even though about declaring bankruptcy... but now I probably won't even qualify. I can totally relate to how you feel. It makes it tough to keep going - but we have to. Vent away anytime you want. I hear you. ;-)

[DARE to HOPE]

15. Oh, smurfygirl, "don't make it bad...."

"Take a sad song, and make it better!" (Hey Jude)

There have been tragedies forever, but the love of your life is worth hanging onto! Life is more than money, even a house. We have seen homeless families rebound in our town. It takes great faith and persistence, but love at the center is what can keep you going.

No blame (for each other, I mean, LOTS of blame for Bush!) Life is just a real education. It is natural to feel as devastated you do. But I really do believe--there are angels all around us, and there for you. too. Cling to each other, two brains are better than one. :-) Then go find some ice cream together, or a DVD that will make you laugh ("tomorrow is another day!")

There are friends around who love you. They may not have a lot of money, but some good advice and support. God lead you, child. The world hasn't ended yet. You and your sweetheart--cling to each other, and laugh in the darkness!

[in_cog_ni_to]

19. Someone correct me if I'm wrong. Can't she file bankruptcy until October?

Before the new bankruptcy bill kicks in? FILE BANKRUPTCY and start over. I'm so sorry you have to go through this shit. It's not the way it's suppose to be. :hug:

[Rainscents]

24. Yes, she file bankrupcy by Oct. If she want clean slate, file

bankruptcy now!!! Before it's too late!

[Greybnk48]

21. Divorce exacerbates financial woes

They're not cheap. If the only problem is money, try to get a team mentality going rather than adversarial (and I know that's hard). I've been divorced--it sucks--but I had no say in it. My second marriage almost broke up over money problems early on (we're 24 years in now). Luckily, the first thing we tried worked. I took over the bills. My husband did not know how to tell me no when it came to spending and I didn't know how broke we were.

I'm not writing this to sound oh so clever. Just try different things to alleviate the stress. Simple things. I hope you stay together.

[Tsiyu]

22. Emergency! Emergency!

If you can do this :hug: try to go through all your junk and hold a big ol' yard sale. A little $$ in your pocket will make you feel better and you are better rid of excess junk right now.

I was fired by my Repuke boss not quite a year ago and haven't managed to find anything yet. There is something about being a 46-year-old woman and flipping hamburgers for 6.50 an hour that doesn't appeal.

Luckily, I own my land and mobile and cars. No mortgage or car payment means I can scrape by on what the kids give me for rent, but I have no health insurance, can't make any improvements to the property and we mostly do "free" entertainment. I make a little here and there on "odd jobs" but I miss the days of "real jobs." There just are very few decent jobs out there and there are so many over-qualified people competing now, it can really put you in a funk. But it ain't about you, smurfygirl.

Hang in there. Things always work out somehow. Hey! You're still here!
:hi:

[Johonny]

23. You got the makings

of a good country western song there. Now I was thinking blues but then the dog part was thrown in. Once you lose a dog your clearly into the grounds of country music.

[Fluffdaddy]

25. Your Husband needs to step up and be a Man. And not blame you

For financial problems. Is "He looking for a 2nd or 3rd job to take care of his family? And Hey it's OK to Vent.

Fluffdaddy

[GreenPartyVoter]

26. I am sorry *hugs* This is survivable.. have been there myself. But it can

get better, so the two of you should try to hang in there.

[elehhhhna]

27. If you get divorced you'll probably both file BK then, anyway...

(that's how it's done here in TX) so HELL! Skip the divorce, file BK, & proceed.