Some computer jokes to make you smile :-)

[steve2470]

http://www.rinkworks.com/stupid/cs_os.shtml

<snip>
We maintain a 24 hour, 800 number call desk for our maintenance contract customers, a very expensive undertaking. Non-contract customers can call as well, but our per-call maintenance charge is $250/hour, with a minimum of three hours. If you only call us occasionally, it's a lot cheaper than a contract, but it's clearly designed to discourage trivial calls.

In 1996 a per-call customer called. "What does MSDOS stand for?" she asked. We told her. Her firm paid the $750 bill without demur.

<snip>


From a Windows 95 user:


Customer: "I think my computer doesn't know what it is doing."
Tech Support: (pause) "Why? What is the problem with the system?"
Customer: "Well, it keeps asking me, 'What is this?'"
<snip>

My father likes to delete things from the Windows System directory because he's convinced that's where the swap file lurks. I have to reinstall Windows 95 almost every day.

<snip>

For my work-study job, I work tech support at a small college. One night I was working Help Desk and the phone rings. I pick it up to have a student telling me she can't get the computer to work.


Me: "What operating system are you running?"
Student: "Hunh?"
Me: "Do you have a Mac or a PC?"
Student: "Um, I don't know."
Me: "Ok. What does the screen look like?"
Student: "It's yellow."
Me: "Ok. What does it say on the computer CPU?"
Student: "What's that?"
Me: "The big grey box."
Student: "It doesn't say anything."
Me: "Never mind that...do you have a little 'Start' button at the bottom of the monitor?"
Student: "Monitor?"
Me: "The thing that looks like a TV sceen sitting on the grey box."
Student: "Oh! That! No. No start button."
Me: "Ok. Is there a little apple symbol anywhere on the screen?"
Student: (very puzzled) "Why would I have fruit on my computer?"
<snip>

[norml]

1. Server asks the desktop, "Do you smoke after interface?"

Desktop says to the server, "I don't know, I've never scanned." LOL!

[OffWithTheirHeads]

2. And we wonder why we have an idiot for a president?

nt

[ladjf]

3. Very poor handling of the situation by the smug help desk

operator.

[Squeech]

4. PEBCAK

An acronym allegedly common among these sorts of help desk personnel-- it stands for "Problem Exists Between Chair And Keyboard."

I.E. the human sitting in front of the computer is the problem.