tuesday night president monkeyass will address the nation about iraq

[mopaul]

woo woo--must be getting desperate

[DistressedAmerican]

1. Sweat It Out Pig Fucker!!!

I'll be here to keep sticking the knives in!

[KlatooBNikto]

2. I did it! I did it! I did it! I finally showed Poppy what I am made of!

[lonestarnot]

4. And this is the reason we went to war!

[justinsb]

3. Clinton could pull this off

when Clinton dipped in the polls he'd go on television, have a heart-to-heart with the people and the polls would turn around. Clinton could sell bathing suits in antarctica, Bush could probably sell lemonade in the Sahara but the buyer would still feel like he was ripped off somehow.

[Javaman]

5. A few minutes before his speech...

Chimpy monkey pants sits at his desk in the oval office waiting for the cameras...

CMP: dang those lights are bright...can we turn them down a bit...

Puzzled techs exchange glances, shrug and turn down the lights. Karen, ass for brains, Hughes yells over her microphone to the headsets of the techs.

AFB: what the hell are you doing? Don't turn down those lights, turn them back up!

The lights come back up.

CMP: What's going on, turn those lights back down.

The techs exchange nervous glances...the lights go back down...

AFB: someone is going to fry over this, get those goddamn lights back up and do it now!

the lights go back up...

CMP: Is there some sort of power problem in here? Turn those fucking lights back down! I'm the president damn it!

the lights go back down. In the control room, AFB, slams down her headset and storms out into the studio, screaming.

AFB: Who is the fucking total idiot that can't understand a simple order to keep the fucking lights up????? Come on, who is it!!

CMP sits quietly, pretending to read, a small bead of sweat forms on his upper lip.

AFB storms up to a tech and gets into his face.

AFB: Was it you??? You little piece of shit, no nothing looser fucker?? You minimum wage earning pile of crap????

The tech secretly points to CMP without him seeing it.

AFB is livid.

AFB: ARE YOU INSINUATING THAT THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES TOLD YOU TO DO THIS AND IS NOT SPEAKING UP!!!! YOU'RE FIRED!!!!

a slimy smile crawls across CMP's face.

CMP: Great job there Karen...Just great, we got to weed out fella's like that and smoke them out of there...

AFB: Yeah yeah, whatever...