Hilarious spoof of Tom "French Fried" Friedman

[scottxyz]

From the September 23 issue of
http://www.mediawhoresonline.com


Dear {Thomas Friedman},

I appeal to you to protect and reinforce your reputation for moral clarity by tilting your mighty pen against a rising threat to our great nation.

Recent polls indicate that Americans tend NOT to think that the war on Iraq was worth the cost by a margin of 47% to 43%. It seems clear from these numbers that America is no longer just our jealous rival and annoying ally; America is becoming our enemy.

Simply stated, there is no doubt that America now has weapons of mass destruction. Furthermore, it has recently come to my attention that America has over the past ten years harbored members of Al Qaeda and even trained them to pilot commercial airliners into tall buildings.

I know you will agree that this is no time for namby-pamby diplomacy. It won't do to sit idly by while Americans spew their venomous hatred for us.

I BELIEVE THE TIME HAS COME FOR A PREEMPTIVE STRIKE ON THE UNITED STATES.

Your wife may see things differently, but don't forget that she simply has NOT spent the amount of time that you have traveling around America, getting to know its little people and their dreams for a better day.

Some might argue, "If you break it, you own it." True enough and it will take planning, but done right, America could become a shining beacon of democracy and a force for change in an otherwise corrupt and autocratic western world where people have suffered for months upon months from a woeful lack of transparency in government.

Others will scoff at the concept that a nation so overwhelmingly populated by Christian fundamentalists would willingly embrace democracy with its attendant risks that people might begin thinking for themselves, even flirting with secularism. In my opinion this view is unfounded and merely reflects the lingering effects of anti-white racism.

Consider the case of post-WWII Germany. As in America today, Germans hated us, were ruled by a fascist dictatorship, and had seen their economy ravaged by war making and corporate cronyism. Nevertheless, the post war occupation went smoothly and Germany, a nation overwhelmingly populated (especially after WWII) with white Christians, became a vibrant democracy and a strong lasting voice for peace.

So, no time to lose, STRIKE AMERICA NOW.

As the bombs begin to fall on Topeka I remain always your fellow patriot,

John Mallinckrodt

(This is a letter from a reader - hope it's ok to post in full.)
(MWO doesn't seem to have permalinks for previous days.)