Right! Welcome to Gitmo, Sir!

[Tom Yossarian Joad]

We've set up quite the full day for you, sir. May I read you your itinerary?

5:00 AM: Wake up call by baton on bars followed by playtime with the German shepherds.

6-7:00 AM: Waterboarding.

7:15-8:00 AM: Breakfast. Mimosas and Eggs Benedict or complimentary continental breakfast.

8:30-10:00 AM: Balls attached to hand cranked generator.

10:10-12:00 PM: Drug Therapy.

12:15-1:00 PM: Lunch: Lemon Chicken with a selection of soups and salads.

1:10-3:00 PM: Fake menstrual blood cosmetics lessons.

3:00-5:30 PM: Beating the soles of your feet.

5:45-6:30 PM: Dinner: Herbed talipia, wild rice and creme de menthe parfait.

6:45PM til 4:30 AM: Free time to the sounds of heavy metal music played softly enough that your ears will not quite bleed.

Enjoy your stay and our fine cuisine.

[catnhatnh]

1. And all of this....

...in a tropical wonderland....(heavy sigh)

[ElsewheresDaughter]

2. make your reservations at "All Aboard Travels"

[Vickers]

3. "8:30-10:00 AM: Balls attached to hand cranked generator."

Great, now I can't uncross my legs.

[Mayberry Machiavelli]

5. "Hey, I can't feel anything! Take me up to 90 Volts!"

[Tom Yossarian Joad]

6. Love your tag line!

[JohnnyRingo]

4. Actually keeping prisoners well nourished fits right in with torture

techniques.

Can't torture someone after they slip into a dietary coma.