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WilliamPitt Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-28-05 11:18 AM
Original message
The Bush Speech Drinking Game
Edited on Tue Jun-28-05 11:19 AM by WilliamPitt
“But we know that nothing of value is ever earned without sacrifice.”

- Condoleezza Rice, addressing U.S. soldiers, 19 March 2005

“We,” eh? “We”? That’s interesting. I’m not seeing a lot of “we” in the 1,743 dead American soldiers from Iraq, the ones who bore the sacrifice Rice used as a talking point back in March. I’m not seeing a lot of “we” in the story of Pfc. Diane Cardile, the 23 year old troop who is sitting in a German hospital with extensive burns.

Cardile got those burns last Thursday, when a suicide bomber outside Falluja drove up next to the truck carrying her and several other Marines, smiled, and blew himself up. 13 Marines were injured in the blast, 11 of them women. Five Marines died in the explosion, two of them women. None of them were named Condi, so her “we” is, shall we say, misplaced.

The Bush administration will be using soldiers as props for political theater once again tonight. George himself will stand up tonight, surrounded by a mob of troops, to tell us that everything is great in Iraq, that there is a “clear path to victory” in that conflict. Probably someone should have gotten this memo to Don Rumsfeld before he went on television this weekend to say that the “clear path” might take twelve years to complete.

I doubt Rumsfeld would have read it, however. After all, he is the fellow who told us in February of 2003 that the war “could last six days, six weeks, I doubt six months.” That February also saw Rumsfeld telling us Americans would be welcomed in Iraq by people “playing music, cheering, flying kites.”

Oh, by the way, Bush’s message will also state that nobody miscalculated in this invasion and occupation, and for sure nobody lied. Those aren’t vultures in the skies above Baghdad and Falluja, waiting to feast on the unburied dead. Those are kites. What you hear isn’t screaming, but cheering, and nobody in the Bush administration made mistakes regarding Iraq. George said it himself in April 2004, when asked during a press conference if he had made any errors during his first term. “Gosh, I don't know,” he said in response. “I'm sure something will pop into my head here.”

What has been popping into Bush’s head lately is numbers, bad numbers, low numbers, scary numbers. Gallup, whose numbers have been unswervingly slanted towards Bush since the 2000 election campaign, reports that only 32% of independent voters support the Iraq invasion, and a clear majority of all Americans think the whole thing is a disaster. Bush’s overall approval ratings are sliding towards the freezing point with each passing day. What we will see in tonight’s speech is nothing more or less than an attempt to stop the bleeding. Truth and facts won’t play a part in the show.

You have to wonder, though, how many people are going to buy what George will be peddling. After all, this is the guy who told us in May of 2003 that, “We found the weapons of mass destruction. We found biological laboratories. You remember when Colin Powell stood up in front of the world, and he said, Iraq has got laboratories, mobile labs to build biological weapons. They're illegal. They're against the United Nations resolutions, and we've so far discovered two. And we'll find more weapons as time goes on. But for those who say we haven't found the banned manufacturing devices or banned weapons, they're wrong, we found them.”

We did, eh? Here we go with “we” again. I guess “we” doesn’t include Hans Blix, who found nothing of the sort in Iraq. “We” doesn’t include Bush’s own hand-picked inspector, David Kay, who likewise found nothing of the sort. For sure and certain, “we” doesn’t include the authors of the Duelfer Report, which describes the meticulous, extensive two-year search for these weapons, a search that did not find anything.

So, to recap: Everything is fine in Iraq. No one made any mistakes. No one lied, or even exaggerated (“We have also discovered through intelligence that Iraq has a growing fleet of manned and unmanned aerial vehicles that could be used to disperse chemical or biological weapons across broad areas. We are concerned that Iraq is exploring ways of using these UAVs for missions targeting the United States.”- Bush in October 2002) about the threat posed by Iraq or the reasons to go to war there.

Tonight should be interesting. If I were still in college, I’d propose creating a drinking game based on this speech. Drink a beer after every lie. Drink two beers after every wildly unrealistic assessment that has no basis in fact. Drink a beer and a shot every time Bush says “Nukular.” Two beers, a shot and a kick to the head every time he thanks the troops around him for the sacrifices “we” know must be made. Anyone still standing after ten minutes wins a Kewpie doll.

It’s probably a good thing I graduated.

===

Thanks to EarlG for digging up those quotes:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=132&topic_id=1888437&mesg_id=1888437

...and to mopaul for the Condi quote.
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Double T Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-28-05 11:29 AM
Response to Original message
1. O My God! If we all follow the rules of the drinking game..
we will all be dead and there will be no one to post on DU.
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kedrys Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-28-05 11:47 AM
Response to Reply #1
11. Maybe we should all quaff down a gallon of tequila each
and get it over with, as long as we're having a mass suicide... :P
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Double T Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-28-05 11:54 AM
Response to Reply #11
12. I'm cutting the lemon wedges and breaking out the sea salt for...
our demise.
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kedrys Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-28-05 12:01 PM
Response to Reply #12
14. Got a bottle of Cuervo 1800 Anejo somewhere around here...
I'll spot you. Everyone else, bring what you drink! :)
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VelmaD Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-28-05 11:30 AM
Response to Original message
2. Wow
No nits today. :) Just wow.

Re; the drinking game - Can't we all just drink til we pass out every time he shows up on tv? I know that's easier than actually trying to listen to him.
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cynatnite Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-28-05 11:32 AM
Response to Original message
3. I'm a lightweight
I wouldn't make it five minutes.
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SammyWinstonJack Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-28-05 04:28 PM
Response to Reply #3
20. Even if one isn't a lightweight, it would be quite a task to make it past
the first five minutes. The lies and cliches will come fast and furious. :beer:
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dbonds Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-28-05 11:33 AM
Response to Original message
4. You forgot
A shot for everytime he says 'freedom' and two shots for everytime he mentions 9/11
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WilliamPitt Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-28-05 11:34 AM
Response to Reply #4
5. Good thought
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VelmaD Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-28-05 11:35 AM
Response to Reply #5
6. If we took a shot for every time...
he says "umm", stutters, or stops in the middle of a word because he can't read more than 5 syllables at a time...we'd all end up in the ER.
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NewJeffCT Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-28-05 11:38 AM
Response to Reply #4
8. ouch, i'd be dead drunk, or just dead, very quickly...
I'm not much of a drinker.
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shraby Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-28-05 11:38 AM
Response to Original message
7. Add "I'm optimistic" to the game
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VelmaD Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-28-05 11:39 AM
Response to Reply #7
9. oh yeah...and don't forget...
"it's hard work" *snort*
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Just Me Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-28-05 11:43 AM
Response to Original message
10. Personally, I would prefer drinking BEFORE the Bushit bullshit.
Otherwise, I simply can NOT bring myself to watch/listen. The man brings on a severe visceral reaction with which I was completely unfamiliar until he and his cabal intruded in my life.
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SeattleRob Donating Member (893 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-28-05 11:55 AM
Response to Original message
13. Another version
Maybe you can modify the game by drinking a shot of whiskey everytime the Chimp mentions 9/11?
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WilliamPitt Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-28-05 12:33 PM
Response to Original message
15. Link to final
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ArnoldLayne Donating Member (871 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-28-05 03:54 PM
Response to Original message
16. Also drink a shot everytime he says
"It's hard :evilgrin: it's hard work"
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goclark Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-28-05 04:36 PM
Original message
Take me to Betty Ford Center tomorrow! nt
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donheld Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-28-05 03:57 PM
Response to Original message
17. The only sacrificing Condi knows is the truth
She gladly sacrifices the truth everyday, but that's about it.
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ArnoldLayne Donating Member (871 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-28-05 04:04 PM
Response to Reply #17
18. Maybe Condi is the reason he says "It's Hard"
all the time. :rofl:
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Blue_In_AK Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-28-05 04:32 PM
Response to Reply #18
21. Ew, gross...........
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Just Me Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-28-05 04:40 PM
Response to Reply #18
24. ROTFLMAO!!!!
:rofl: EWWWWW :rofl:
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WilliamPitt Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-28-05 04:24 PM
Response to Original message
19. .
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SlavesandBulldozers Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-28-05 04:34 PM
Response to Original message
22. isn't it funny that when you're going about your day and you
realize that you have to watch Bush in the evening.. . your exact next thought is what kind of intoxicant, and how much, you will have to take to make watching bearable.
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jmm Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-28-05 04:36 PM
Response to Original message
23. I went to UMass and I still can't drink that much.
I think we'd all be lucky if we weren't hospitalized before he brings up 9/11.
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earthboundmisfit Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-28-05 05:04 PM
Response to Original message
25. I think this would amount to BINGE DRINKING -
wouldn't it? I can honestly say I WON'T be the winner of the Kewpie - hell, might as well get a start on it - Cheers, folks! :toast:
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WilliamPitt Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-28-05 07:03 PM
Response to Original message
26. Christ, I'm already drunk
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TexasLady Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-28-05 07:05 PM
Response to Reply #26
27. *hic i hear ya
im dribblin even
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yvr girl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-28-05 07:10 PM
Response to Reply #26
28. I'll never last to the end of the speech
*hic*
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BeTheChange Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-28-05 07:12 PM
Response to Reply #28
29. Me either..
and Im just drinking Malibu and pineapple.

I knew I couldnt handle the hard stuff.

Our keywords: any form of "terra"
9/11
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jmowreader Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-28-05 07:21 PM
Response to Original message
30. Will, I didn't know you were a closet Repuke ;)
Come ON, man! You'd die from alcohol poisoning playing that game even if you were using Miller Lite.

What are you trying to do, kill off ALL the Democrats?
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TexasLady Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-28-05 07:28 PM
Response to Reply #30
31. LOOK! my schpeech is almost as bad as
the preschident ish. hehehe.
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