took us three days to be visited by the fundies.

[ulysses]

The doorbell rang yesterday afternoon. Two relatively scrubbed men in their early-mid thirties stood there. Ms Uly has scheduled so many workfolks and installers of various services in the new house that I assumed they were more of the same. They weren't.

Happily, I had her on the phone at tht time, so they weren't really able to launch into much. I took a pamphlet ("A Caring People for a Dying World" it reads on the back), thanked them and closed the door.

Ms Uly's dry comment? "Guess they didn't see us in church on Sunday."

Intown, we got Jehovahs Witnesses every once in a great while, maybe once every year and a half. I'm only hoping that I shouldn't expect the local Baptists every three days.

[CatWoman]

1. you know, you're going to have to pay me BIG BUCKS to visit

your ass.

:D

[ulysses]

3. LOLOL!

They have black folks out here. Promise. :D

[CatWoman]

6. bwahahahahahahahahaha

what's their names?

JJ and Florida???

:D

[ulysses]

19. yep!

:D

[oldcoot]

2. We have the same problem

So far I have had two women try to read a passage of the Bible to me. I am beginning to think that they are more pesky than telemarketers.

[Horse with no Name]

4. Easily solved

Buy a LARGE box of crucifixes.
Everytime one of those pesky varmints come to the door--stop them mid sentence and tell them you have something for them.
Hand them a crucifix and tell them that Jesus died for THEIR sins.
Wish them a nice day and close the door.

On edit: You could even print some out--that way you don't have to spend any money on the dipwits.

[MercutioATC]

13. I like that solution!

That should get them thinking...

[ulysses]

5. I'll give them one more time.

If they come back - and I have no doubt that they will - I'll explain to them that we're Methodists (which is true in varying degrees) and aren't looking for a new church. If they come back after that, I'll pee on their shoes.

[RoBear]

11. One of the guys in our athiest meet-up group

made up a bunch of "Get out of Sermon Free" cards and passes them out when appropriate. Sounds like a good idea.

[ulysses]

25. LOL!

I like!

[geomon666]

15. It's always good to be armed...

with quotes. :D

For instance I like imparting this bit of wisdom from the 'good book'.

Deuteronomy

21:10 When thou goest forth to war against thine enemies, and the LORD thy God hath delivered them into thine hands, and thou hast taken them captive,

21:11 And seest among the captives a beautiful woman, and hast a desire unto her, that thou wouldest have her to thy wife;

21:12 Then thou shalt bring her home to thine house, and she shall shave her head, and pare her nails;

21:13 And she shall put the raiment of her captivity from off her, and shall remain in thine house, and bewail her father and her mother a full month: and after that thou shalt go in unto her, and be her husband, and she shall be thy wife.

21:14 And it shall be, if thou have no delight in her, then thou shalt let her go whither she will; but thou shalt not sell her at all for money, thou shalt not make merchandise of her, because thou hast humbled her.

Then just politely close the door. :)

[GeekMonkey]

7. door to door salesmen suck

especially ones selling jesus

[LightningFlash]

12. Selling a perverted form of jesus....

I don't know many christians who believe them. :shrug: As many as can try anyhow, try to convert them to sensible religion or being mormon or something. Few ever move away from being wingbats.

[stellanoir]

8. tell them what I tell them

that you refuse to discuss the Bible with anyone who is not fluent in Hebrew and Aramaic because most of the really profound information is either distorted or entirely lost in translation.

That always shuts them up.

Add a Hurrrumphhhhh for good measure.

[MercutioATC]

9. I must be on their "do not call" list.

In three years I've only received one visit, and that was within the first two months.

...I suppose it COULD have something to do with the pentagram above my door or the goat's blood on the welcome mat...


:evilgrin:

[oldcoot]

27. Where did you find the goat's blood?

I haven't seen goat's blood at my grocery store and I think that it would be a popular product.

Seriously, you are lucky that they have not visited you.

[MercutioATC]

28. You can find ANYTHING on the internet(s)....

Maybe I'm just not home when they come, but I haven't had so much as a Watchtower stuck in my door in over 2 1/2 years...

[DURHAM D]

10. I just tell the Southern Bs that I am charismatic agnostice.

Then I smile sweetly while waiting for their response. They never have a response so I add that I am in the middle of giving my cat a bath and I gotta run and close the door. Then I watch out the window as they go to the end of the driveway and talk with each other for 20 minuets.

In 5 years they have only come to my door 3 times.

[rox63]

14. My Dad used to tell them he was a devil-worshipper

Strange how they'd never return after that... :rofl:

[Shoeempress]

16. You are very nice and polite. I open the door and if they launch, I tell

them they have 10 seconds to get off my property before I let the pit bulls out. Then I shut the door and as it is glass, I start to verbally count and look at my watch facing them. BTW, we don't even have dogs, but it always works.

[LizW]

17. "A Dying World"? Whoa, that's uplifting!

Bet you can't wait to go hear more! ;)

[ulysses]

22. isn't it?

Instead of peeing on them, I may ask the next contingent in for a philosophical discussion. :evilgrin:

[newyawker99]

35. Oh no!! Not that!

:hide:


:hi: Uly!

[CottonBear]

18. Did you move to the 'burbs?

:hi:

[ulysses]

21. lord help me, yes.

Homebase Uly is now just north of Douglasville, in Paulding County.

[CottonBear]

31. Congratulations to both you and Mrs. Uly!

That is quite a change! We will all look forward to hearing about your adventures in suburbia!
:hi:

edit: I had no idea that Baptists went door to door. I've had the occassional JW when I lived out in the country. No one's come to my door since I've lived in town here in Athens.

[ulysses]

32. thanks!

It is a change, yes. The back of my truck still looks like this:



so we'll see how the locals react. :hi:

[RebelOne]

20. I get a visit every few months from the Southern Baptists.

The minute they say that they are from Cherokee Baptist Church, I tell them I am an atheist. That usually chases them away.

[Touchdown]

23. Answer the door naked.

If you see them coming your way, and have about 10 minutes to spare, pop in a viagra too!

[Ioo]

24. I get nude ASAP

Last time it happened, I saw them coming from the office upstairs, and I quicky shucked ever stick of clothing, minus the socks, always wear socks...

I answer the door like nothing is wrong...

One was floored, the other was just sticking to the script (Proud 10%?), he said, "we have some important news for you, do you mind putting some clothing on?" I responded, "My faith forbids clothing, sorry" and shut the door...

Never saw them again (And 2 bad too, one was real cute)

[LightningFlash]

26. Were they male or female? n/t

[ms liberty]

29. I always tell them...

No, thank you, I'm a neo-pagan.

That is usually so confusing to them that they leave. Of course, immediately shutting the door could have something to do with that, too.

They haven't visited much in the last few years, since my eldest German Shepherd began living in the house. You can't miss him, he's the one that hates everyone except me, my husband and his mother.

I always try to be polite, though, because I met some JW's thru my (then) position in hotel mgmt. once, and they were really nice and kind to me in a situation where most guests tend to turn into spoiled -american brats.

[ulysses]

30. I was always civil to the JWs,

if firm. I don't have much of the same tendency toward the rural Baptists, and I wonder if it doesn't have to do with race. Most of our intown JWs were black and I want to pee on the white Baptists coming to my door here: I'm much more tolerant of religious talk at the all-black school where I teach than I would be if my colleagues were white and Baptist.

[LightningFlash]

33. I find that sad but unfortunately true...

Blacks don't have the same problem of becoming racist. Blacks don't have intolerance towards Whites. Whites that is, most of us caucasions happen to have problems with racism towards blacks and other colors. Even when we balk at it and deny, it comes back to haunt us especially in the south. Something about certain people that makes them intolerant of other races.

[sakabatou]

34. I just point at the sign with my family name on it and they leave