Hee hee! Freeper email and my reply

[WilliamPitt]

Freeper email, titled 'Liberal piece of shit':

Hey liberal piece of SHIT, freedom isn't free coward, Bush is right , your a loser, but you have a right to spout your loser views, but I have the right to kick your ass and call you a loser. Hope i never see you!!!

My reply:

"You're" instead of "your." Capitalize your I's.

You don't have the right to kick my ass. Nor are you likely to be able to. Your grammatical idiocy tells me you are a high school douchebag talking tough. You'd probably have to travel to kick my ass, which means mom would have to loan you the car. That's always a problem, especially if she makes you wear your helmet.

I'll be sure to forward you some enlistment papers, tough guy.

:)

[colonel odis]

1. lol..... good one

[sniffa]

2. freedom isn't dumb either.. or is it?

send him karL rove's address, and teLL to come get ya.

[liberalitch]

94. reminds me of the story about a guy who dresses in galf pants everyday....

and beats the shit out of a chained dog,... well one day he takes the dog and sets it loose on a golf course.... you can guess the rest

[ayeshahaqqiqa]

3. I liked the enlistment papers sentence best

Let them put their lives on the line.

[noamnety]

18. That was my favorite, as well

Now I almost wish someone would send me freepmail so I could include an attachment with my reply.

[wakeme2008]

4. Probably too young to enlist. :) nt

[greenbriar]

5. hehe

:yourock:

[OrlandoGator]

6. Another Douchebag of Liberty.

n/t

[DIKB]

7. I would have mentioned.

His aggressive tendencies most likely are based on some form of repression, homoeroticism would REALLY make him foam at the mouth.

[ComerPerro]

89. Reminds me of a great quote from "Nothing to Loose", where

Tim Robbins completely dresses down this robber who is threatening them.

"I'm sure that you're a really scary guy. I'm sure that normally people just quiver at the very sound of your voice. But you see I can't see that right now. I just see a weak, desperate little man who probably grew up torturing little animals. Some puny little, uncoordinated, 'can't make the football team, so I'll pick on third graders and steal their lunch money', punk, jerkoff, bully, who one day wakes up and realizes he's nothing, just a sad pathetic, useless, illiterate, piece of inbread shit!"

[jackster]

96. oh my god....

that's an exact description of Shrubya isn't it!

[ComerPerro]

100. Pretty much.

I've always loved that line

[politicaholic]

8. Zinggggg!

I bet he's never had an email shot into his forhead instead of his inbox before.

Diddiot.

[MindPilot]

9. got an email to day from a freeper at work....

she sent it around to announce she was going on vacation to Italy, she was learning Italian , etc...

She signed it "chow"

Edited to say: freepers are dumb, but we all knew that which is why they call US "DUmmies"

[MindPilot]

17. You really think he made it as far as high school?

Most of us could write better than that by fifth grade.

[Fire Walk With Me]

33. These days, ugliness is more important than intelligence

or morals or standards or...

This is the day of getting away with it, not the day of what's right.

[napi21]

I don't quite understand the reference to Italy, but the response is ciao

not chow!

My son works in Sicily. Has for the last 3 years and loves it.

Do you have a problem with Italians?

[MindPilot]

27. oh no no problem with Italians...

Especially not Sicilians! :D

I guess it wasn't clear. The woman who sent the email around bragging about how she is going to Italy and learning Italian is a freeper. She advertised just how dumb she is by closing her email with "chow".

Yes, anyone with two brain cells or more knows it is "ciao" but she is not that well-equipped.

[napi21]

30. Don't worry about her. The Italians will take care of her bias.

The people there are very nice but they don't accept any fake stuff. She'll find out when she get's there.

[Hissyspit]

53. She is going there to sample the dog foods of Tuscany and Abruzzo

Chow! :9

[Patiod]

81. And she'll love all the little "Pace" flags in Italian windows

She'll probably think they're NASCAR fans or something.

[elperromagico]

23. Could have been worse.

She could have said she was going to England and was learning Englandian for the trip.

OR... she could have said she was going to Mexico and was learning Mexican for the trip.

I've got a million of 'em.

[SweetLeftFoot]

66. Heh

I live in Edinburgh and had a Freeper type cow person American ask me if the castle is there all the time, or whether they just put it up for the Festival!

Another one asked why they built the castle so close to the train station.

[KitSileya]

75. Or the American couple who wanted a refund for their trip

to the land of the midnight sun (Norway) because after they'd travelled all the way to the northernmost tip of Norway to see this fabled midnight sun, they discovered to their disappointment it was just like the regular old sun.

[LibertyLover]

101. Americans in Edinburgh

Put the castle up for Festival - oy. Please tell me you are joking - please? I mean I know that they don't teach much history here in the US, but you would think that the concept of "castles came way before trains were invented" would at least have penetrated consciousness somewhere along the way.

My husband and I spent a wonderful week in Edinburgh in 2003 and are looking forward to taking our daughters (26 and 4) in 2006.

[SweetLeftFoot]

106. Yep

I also heard some Freeper types who were pointing at St Giles cathedral on the Royal Mile say - "Ya know, that things gotta be over a hundred years old!"

Yeah, I reckon it is mate.

[sinkingfeeling]

102. I visited your great country last year , but are you serious? Did

some of my idiot countrymen really ask you that about Edinburgh Castle? I would love to move to Scotland, but I just can't afford it with the exchange rate being as it is! Loved the town of Stirling and roamed all over Edinburg.h

[SweetLeftFoot]

107. I am actually Aussie

I just live in Edinburgh - well, seeing as I have applied for work permit, - am relocating there would be a better term. And yes, sadly, your countrymen did say that.

But, having once been complemented on my English by an American, nothing surprises me anymore.

[kiki]

79. If she went to England...

...she'd have to learn English.

A bit like the guy in the original post.

[Vadem]

32. ROTFLMAO!.........That is the best one I've heard, today!...n/t

[Momgonepostal]

60. Chow?

:cringe:

[GalleryGod]

83. If you really LOVE Bush- wear a t-shirt to Italy proclaiming that!

Hopefully-she'll get kidnapped.:puffpiece:

[gratuitous]

10. Man, they're all Rocky Marciano in cyberspace, aren't they?

I don't think the military is quite that desperate that they'd take a specimen of this demonstrably low an IQ. But wait a few months.

[SalmonChantedEvening]

11. Lemme get this straight....

'I'm gonna kick your ass.... hope I never see you?'

Oh-Kay then.

[earthboundmisfit]

12. If you knew the city you could forward his/her e-mail address

to the nearest recruiters - with a short note that this person showed REAL interest in joining up...
(Would that bring bad Karma, though?)

[Mythsaje]

44. Nah...

You'd probably just be doing Karma's work. :D

[nwprogressive]

13. Interesting...

Why do the freepers waste their time? Doesn't BushCo & DeLay Inc. have better things for them to do?

This guy must not be a college Republican.

[SalmonChantedEvening]

26. Welcome to DU nwprogressive

:hi: :toast:

[Semi_subversive]

14. Shame on you Will!

Now he probably lost his woody!

[cornermouse]

15. You forgot to point that he has too many "buts".

[Bouncy Ball]

16. BWA!

You were nicer than I would have been. I do love the enlistment papers touch, though. VERY necessary. Wonder why he's not fighting bush's war?

[stellanoir]

19. "Freedom need never

march. Freedom just is."

Bloody morons and great response.

[DearAbby]

20. Damn it Will...Place a Spew Alert!

:::wipes monitor:::

Mommy makes him wear a helmet....:rofl:

[WLKjr]

21. That's a laugh riot!

give 'em hell!

[marbuc]

22. Eloquent one

People tend to get belligerent when they are confronted with information that challenges their world view. People also tend to get belligerent when they are incapable of expressing themselves otherwise. I wonder which category this genius fall into?

[Just Me]

24. We've been forced to master the art of taming the assholes.

Yep. Don't tolerate or be nice to the assholes. }(

Their shock jock bullshit is just that, shock jock bullshit.

We're smarter and stronger. You proved it!!! :7

[MarianJack]

25. BRAVO, Will!

Maybe ann coulter will condem you for being uncivil to the freeper.

One thing I've learned as a teacher, counselor and parent is that sometimes you know you're doing a good job by seeing who you piss off!

:yourock:

[DisassemblingHisLies]

28. The helmet mention was a nice touch.

[Neerav B. Trivedi]

29. Good work taking out this freeper.

They are such idiots.

[Piperay]

31. Way to Go!!!

That was a TERRIFIC response! :yourock:

[donheld]

34. Great response Will

You should share more of those with us.


BTW whatever happened to DU's mailbag?

[elshiva]

35. Voted you on the greatest page! Great Pitt, but

do you think the writer read your infamous "Poop" thread?

[ElsewheresDaughter]

36. your good........

:rofl:
:rofl:
:rofl:
:rofl:
:rofl:
:rofl:
:rofl:



;-)

[BamaLefty]

37. Damn, I Know Your Dad Would Be Proud

I really think a lot of your father btw.

Nice response!

[graywarrior]

38. You have such a wonderful way with words, Will.

Great response.

[lonestarnot]

39. And besides we like William Pitt here and we a liable to kick your fucking

ass if you were ever to even touch a little hair on his head! MFr!

[madeline_con]

40. "You're" instead of "your." Capitalize your I's."

he's a ignernt fuch!

:kick:

[deacon]

41. The best way to begin a reply is with 'Dear Yellow Elephant' then

proceed :)

[proud2BlibKansan]

42. That is great

They hate it when we correct their spelling and grammar. I think it's a great technique. They change the subject by calling us names so it's only fair that we change the subject by correcting their poor writing skills. Plus we are giving them useful information, and not just being hateful.

[Mythsaje]

46. Oooh...

I resist the temptation to edit e-mails most of the time. Thankfully, a lot of correspondance is from other writers. But every once in a while I get an e-mail that makes me reach for that red pen.

On message boards it's considered rude to correct spelling, but GAWD it's hard not to correct some of the more stupid posters just to mess with them.

[stevedeshazer]

48. Correspondance?

:spank:

:rofl:

[Mythsaje]

54. LOL

I didn't even bother to check...not a word I use often enough, I guess.

[stevedeshazer]

56. Sorry, couldn't resist

:) I've been caught, too!

[Mythsaje]

57. Sometimes I catch my own

sometimes I don't.

[proud2BlibKansan]

50. I do it all the time

to idiot freepers. And when they call me on it, I tell them I am just borrowing their technique of changing the subject but I am at least telling them something they need to know. So how can they criticize me for being helpful? That usually shuts them right up. :)

[In_The_Wind]

43. WOW ... go get em Pitt

:spray::rofl:

[Shredr]

45. Hilarious!

Great response, Will!

[stevedeshazer]

47. Wants to kick your ass but hopes he never sees you.

Tell him I said his mom called, the cat's litterbox needs dumping next time he goes back to his room in her basement.

And she wants him to pick up all those Olde English 800 cans, dammit! :)

[BiggJawn]

49. "People DIED for yer Freedom of Speech..."

"So SHUT the FUCK UP if you can't say anything nice about our troops in Eye-rak and Our Glorious Fuhrer!"

Sounds like your young correspondent writes LTTE's to my local paper, Will...

[ComerPerro]

86. Hey! People died so you can enjoy these freedoms!

So please stop enjoying these freedoms before I kick your ass!

[BiggJawn]

91. Eggs-Zackly!

Why their heads don't explode when they think about it...Oh, wait....
Yeah, I said "WHEN they THINK..."
Oh, I ver' funny goy!

[Hissyspit]

51. It's a run-on sentence, too. n/t

[ComerPerro]

87. a freeper with bad grammar?

I never thought I'd see the day...

[Hissyspit]

103. Yes, but Will should have mentioned it, because it would cause

to waste valuable freeper brain function going to the freeper dictionary to look up "run-on sentence" to see how exactly he is having his freeperness insulted.

[Hissyspit]

52. What if you pay for freedom and they deliver something else?

Can you get your money back? Can you get your life and the lives of others back?

"Freedom isn't free." Jeez.

[kiki]

80. Indeed...

Someone should ask this guy exactly how much he's paid for his "freedom". Seeing as he probably isn't old enough to pay taxes, he must have run up a huge "freedom bill" by now.

[In Truth We Trust]

55. "I have a right to kick your ass...." Typical Neanderthal moran! I say

"Bring it on" hero and after you've kicked his ass you drag his half dead mass to the enlistment center personally. I'll be happy to write a note and pin it on him for the recruiters when they show up in the morning. Perhaps the note could read as an insult to the recruiters so they make it a point to get him to eyerak.

No wait. On edit perhaps it would be even more poetic justice to somehow use his email address to assume his identity and piss off some Nazi or KKK groups as though you were him and then tell both he and they separately that you want to meet to settle some differences. Post to hte Nazis as him and invite them to meet telling them you'll be wearing a red shirt. Tell him that you'll meet him somewhere and tell him to wear a red shirt etc.

[grace0418]

58. Ah yes, freeper logic.

Where up is down and black is white. Nice one Will. Although you better watch out for tough guys in helmets driving Caprice Classics. ;)

[are_we_united_yet]

59. Tell him to join the Army or shut up

[nadinbrzezinski]

61. Oh william, they need to be called on it

he beleives this is worth it, send him to the recruiter... want the info?


We have been giving them the actual form, I know bad us

;-)

[NMMNG]

62. Remind him to "be cool, stay in school"

And the Bible is not a grammar textbook :rofl:

[WilliamPitt]

63. I GOT A RESPONSE

Yet another grammatical train wreck:

I make more than you, I own my own home, your probably a homosexual angry at Bush because he won't let you marry your boyfriend. But silly fa**ott , dicks are for CHICKS, only.

Get the fuck over it, Bush kicked your liberal losers ass twice, deal with it. In 2006 Republicans will add to their Senate majority, guaranteed. In 2008, a Republican will win the Presidency, again!! The war is justified, Karl Rove said it best, you liberals are pussy whipped cowards, and deep down you know he is right, thats why you losers seethe with hate and anger. I laugh at you pathetic liberal losers, with your morrally bankrupt party devoid of ideas or actions other than to be against Bush. How pathetic, you blame christian conservatives(I am not one), when famlies with children overwelmingly voted by a 59-41% margin for Bush. That is the sector you should blame, the sector that will continue to elect Republicans for the next 50 years.

Finally, you take out 10-15 of the largest cities accross the country and Bush would have won a 50 state landslide, this country is overwelmingly conservative and will not allow homosexual cowards like you and your kind to ever dictate policy to the rest of the country

...nope, no end period. Gawd, I hate being a former grammar teacher. 'Morrally' indeed.

Yeesh. Say hello to the ruling caste. Derf.

[Zomby Woof]

64. He's lying

He lives in a trailer with his momma and their 5 kids, and spittle flies from his broken yellow teeth when he types. He wears a 'wife-beater' tanktop, with dog poo stains. His keyboard is sticky from cheap beer and porn.

It's like handwriting analysis, internet-style. :-)

[saracat]

65. Point out to him, as he obviously doesn't read the papers, that his

President's poll numbers are in the toilet, and the country is making it clear that they would be happier if he were gone! It is extremely likely the Democrats will pickup seats in 2006 as the Republican approval ratings are coatailing their masters! Mr. GOP is delusional as well as poorly spoken (written?)!

[Midlodemocrat]

93. I don't think a moran like that could read the paper.

[elperromagico]

69. Yeah! If you'd taken out about 59 million people,

Bush would have gotten 99% of the vote! That clearly means that this country is conservative!!!

Holy shit, I can't argue with this guy's logic.

[dxstone]

72. Here's a ready-made response for any such rude occasion:

"Dear silly little English-murdering Freeper Knight (pronounced Kuh-Nig-Hit):
I don' wanna talk to you no more! Nasty-faced wiper of other people's bottoms! I fart in your general direction! Your father was a hamster, and your mother smelled of elderberries!
Now go away!... or I shall taunt you a second time!"

And the really funny thing is, more than half the people you send this to, if they're anything like your rude respondent, haven't even SEEN Holy Grail.. so they DO go away, scratching their heads in utter confusion!
PROVING that these are people who apparently watch ONLY wrestling!

What's that saying?... genius has its limitations, but stupidity knows no bounds?
d

ps: Nowadays, I ALWAYS invite them to join up, or to send their kids. I tell 'em,
"Man, you sound like a True Believer... well hey, GO to Iraq then! GO spread this lovely dream of your Glorious Leader! Yeah, you GO GO GO! We're ALL behind ya on this!"
And THAT one ALWAYS shuts them up.

[NMMNG]

74. That was so hilarious

I swear I nearly choked to death on my baby carrots :rofl:

[dxstone]

76. Death by baby carrots! What a fate!

LOL!--right back atcha!
:rofl:

[VOX]

88. "...you take out 10-15 of the largest cities accross the country..."

"...and Bush would have won a 50 state landslide..."

Yeah, but only if all those red-state cows and sheep were actually allowed to go out and vote, instead of being romantically indisposed by right wingers! :evilgrin:

[northzax]

95. dicks are for chicks?

I dunno man, when I see a chick with a dick, it doesn't really do much for me.

[Ms. K]

67. Wow, my very first YOMANK...

outside of Snopes!

Not to mention, Mommy wants him to clean his room, and toss out those sticky Playboys under the mattress...they're stinkin' up the joint!

It's too easy to play with people who can't spell, don't understand basic rules of grammar, and can't think for themselves. It's like shooting fish in a barrel.

But then, shooting the sheep down is worthwhile. It gets them so upset they cease to be able to make sentences, and they GO AWAY.

When the revolution comes, him and the rest of his ilk will be the first ones up against the wall....

[EC]

68. I'm beginning to think that one of the recruitment requirements

for the Young Repukians is being in the lower 15% of the class. Maybe they promise to help them through school with cheat sheets or changing grades in the system? I know they provide cash and jobs for them...otherwise, I'm sure most of them are virtually unemployable...

[Skittles]

70. LOL............WILLIAM

too funny; you might also have mentioned his excessive use of commas. :D

[nolabels]

71. I feel ambivalance here

Look here, the guy is obivously scared with the "Hope i never see you!". To ally that fear he has and then also to try to prove himself correct so he renders the double injoinder with the coloquial in the "Hey liberal piece of SHIT".

To me that signifies much more than a need for english lessons. To me it sounds more like the cry of a mind that would rather hide behind dadddy than figure it out on his own.

The ambivalance is with this feeling that I have is that would like to kick his punk ass too, but it seems people like that are better served getting an education. If he had a little more education he would understand what the real problems were and be wanting to kick someone elses ass



http://www.bushnews.com/bushiq.htm

[dxstone]

73. Ha! Great cartoon!

"Your special words"... :rofl:
Ya have to wonder... what sort of person would see the butch administration as 'leaders" and 'winners' in ANY real sense?



This is MORE than an historic presidency. It's a prehistoric presidency.
And its base constituency is equally so.
Which means they CAN'T be corrected, EVER. When they spell ANY of the words right, they're delighted, ecstatic chimps.
You can tell by the smirk.
d

[paula777]

97. LOL 'possiblistic' Great cartoon

[wolfgirl]

77. College Republican....

wonder if he's the class president! :crazy:

[sendero]

78. Sweet....

... and all too true. :)

[GalleryGod]

82. My Man! I would Pay-Per-View to See Pitt on Tweety's Show !

Or ANY show for that matter !:shrug:

[Left Brain]

84. ROFL!

omg Will, you crack me up!

[ComerPerro]

85. That's what drove the founding fathers

None of that taxation without representation bullshit.

Nothing about being subservient to a monarchy a thousand miles away.

Nothing to do with personal liberty or freedom.


It was all about the rights of every man to express what he believes, and then have his ass thoroughly kicked by some wing-nut sycophant.

The right to kick people's asses if you disagree with them.

That was going to be the 11th Amendment, to be added to the bill of rights:

The right to kick ass (and, as necessary, take names).

[SammyWinstonJack]

90. Heh.

:evilgrin: "Freedom isn't free" Can't they come up with a new slogan to justify their zombie support of the Chimp? This moran should trying thinking for himself for a change of pace. I wonder it that is even possible?

[Midlodemocrat]

92. That is classic. Great response.

[lala_rawraw]

98. Bravo...

"I hope I never see you?" hahaha... please, please see him, take many photos.. we can make a Waldo poster.

What a jerk. Bravo Will.

[karlrschneider]

99. That freep post is repeated with minor variations 5,000 times a day on

the Yahoo boards. The prepubescent keyboard kommandos do a LOT of 'threatnin', but the funny thing is they never will contact me directly by email which I freely provide. Pathetic, really...
:evilgrin:

[Iris]

104. Should have mentioned failure to capitlize "i" indicates an inferiority

complex!

[MiniMandaRuth]

105. Great. Simply wonderful! GO YOU!!!

[VelmaD]

108. Oh come on Will...

with your wit and vocabulary you couldn't do better than "douchebag"?