Help! I have to serve at a banquet

[ccvirgo911]

for a Rupublican fundraiser. I will be the only server there, and I am hoping like hell I can hold my tongue. I'm only doing it for the money, yet I feel I am violating my principles. The one thing I will NOT do, however, is not wear my peace lapel pin. I'm sure that it will cause a few of these freaks to give me some venomous looks, but I hope to just be able to stare them down. I wish I wasn't so poor, and could just refuse to do it. But at this point, it's either do it or not have enough money to pay for my tuition.

[Don_G]

1. Just Hold Your Tongue And Listen

Think of yourself as an undercover operative for DU and report back all you've heard and learned.

:evilgrin:

[nostamj]

3. really...

wear the flag pin and stepford smile for a night and get something really juicy... (on tape even) :evilgrin::evilgrin::evilgrin:

[Robb]

8. I'm with you

Wear the flag pin. And pay attention. :evilgrin:

[LosinIt]

2. As a child I tapdanced at a County Republican Meeting

I have been scarred ever since.

[grasswire]

6. yeah....

....maybe you could put a tape recorder in your pocket and ask a few leading questions and get some juicy stuff for a story. Do it!

Maybe we need to develop a troop of infiltrators for this kind of thing.

[illini]

4. Take notes!!!!!!

Im serious. You never know when you might hear or see something of value. Bring home any hand outs or memos left behind(trash). Read through the stuff. Its not stealing if they leave it for the trash. You may turn up nothing and you may turn up some dirty laundry. Cheer up and do you part to stop fascist!!!!!!!!1

[MrBenchley]

5. Whatever you do

don't piss in the coffee urn...

Or blow your nose into anyone's salad....

[nostamj]

7. and certainly no laxatives in the pudding n/t

[republicansareevil]

9. Seriously... please don't.

Contaminating a person's food is one of the lowest acts a person can do and doesn't solve or help anything. Please don't even consider anything like that. Would you want someone doing that to your food?

[Ignis]

12. Agreed.

Let's try to keep the bar raised above Freeper level, eh?

I _do_ think you should replace their coffee with instant, though... ;)

[Warpy]

10. Hey, those are great ideas

...but only if our server has a viral illness that can be transmitted that way. The coffee is never a good idea, as the heat will destroy the pathogen, but licking the top of the dessert is yummy and will effectively transmit flu, colds, and quite a number of other illnesses.

[ccvirgo911]

11. Good one!

The thought of poisoning them is not an option. However, I will speak up if questioned, even though it could cost me my job. As I've gotten older, I have less patience for idiocy and narrow-mindedness. And my eyes and ears will be wide open, I assure you. I just hope I can stand to be in an enclosed space with 25 Repukes for 2 hours, serving them spirits with a painted smile on my face.

[jburton]

13. an opportunity!

Just think of yourself as a spy!

Count how many "Big Hair" Reps you see while you are there.