What Wesley Clark Ate Today: FULL MENU!

[JasonBerry]

The Wesley Clark campaign announced the contents of the General's stomach late this evening. The full menu was posted on the Clark campaign web site. Supermarkets coast-to-coast had been told in advance about the release of the menu so they could stock up before the expected rush on stores all over America. One campaign aide, who wished to remain anonymous, was quoted as saying, "It was a beautiful site to see General Clark raise his fork with a bite of pork chop during dinner...it was very moving....there were many tears." Other Clark campaign officials reported that there was fainting during Breakfast as staffers were awestruck at being in the presence of the great General as he dined on the traditional bacon and eggs. One woman and one man were taken to a hospital after the fainting spells, but were treated and released. There was controversy concerning the release of the menu however. When asked about what he had for lunch, Clark said he ate a ham sandwich. However, the Clark campaign had already posted the menu which clearly stated he had a sandwich of Oscar Meyer baloney and American cheese. When confronted with this discrepancy, Clark told reporters that this is an attempt by the White House to "sow division among Democrats." However, campaign insiders have said off-the-record that Clark simply didn't want to admit to being full of baloney.

Saturday Night Satire..... :) ......rest easy Clark supporters.

[Pastiche423]

1. Tee hee

[eileen_d]

2. All right... that was funny.

But where was the "Clark voted for Oscar Meyer in 2002" jab?

[stevedeshazer]

3. Good one

Had me laughing

[A-Schwarzenegger]

4. LOF

[JohnKleeb]

5. heh :)

[MoonRiver]

6. Yep. And I heard Clark eats spinach. Popeye eats spinach.

Popeye appears to be a rightwing thug (sort of). Therefore, Clark must be a Repuke operative who is planted to make sure Dems lose the election to *. However (Clark) is in reality closing in, if not ahead, of His Lowness, in the latest polls) :wtf:.

Morale of the story is: don't count your :tinfoilhat: generated eggs before they hatch.

[Trajan]

7. Blah Blah Blah .....

Is baloney the content of the message or the delivery of the message ? .....

An apt fantasy sequence, for those who need such dreams of fancy ....

[jumptheshadow]

8. Okay, that was funny

Let's take a moment from our arguments to share a humorous moment.

:)

[wyldwolf]

9. Breaking: Left and righwing detractors critical of Clark's menu...

Animal rights activists in the far left fringes of the political spectrum reacted with horror today that General Wesley Clark was seen eating pork earlier this week.

"It's disgusting! NO ONE wants our country to be run by a meat eater!" Said Ima Lefty, whose organization, Vegans Againt Clark, claims to have results from a national poll stating more Americans want vegetarian leaders.

Ms. Lefty, munching on carrots and singing Bob Dylan songs at an independent coffee house that is close to bankruptcy, expressed further concern over Clark's affection for bacon and eggs and ham sandwiches.

Meanwhile, Frederick Freeper, author of the book "Real Veterans are Republicans," pointed out that during the Kosovo war, Wesley Clark often ate babies.

He criticized the Clark Campaign for downplaying the General's apetite for infanticide.

"The liberal media just won't report the truth about this horrid man who wasted millions in tax payer's money saving a third world country from genocide."

[jonnyblitz]

10. LOL....BUT you got one thing wrong

true hardcore lefties that you mock wouldn't be caught dead at a Starbucks..they smash Starbucks windows at WTO protests and have Starbucks boycotts due to how their Coffee bean pickers are mistreated in South America.

[JohnKleeb]

14. oh shit then I shouldnt drink from there

I hardly if ever go there. Damn looks like I am gonna have to find my own.

[jumptheshadow]

11. Oh Wyldwolf

Ya oughta know better that Ms. Lefty would never sing at a Starbucks.

:)

On edit: Jonnyblitz said it better than me.

[wyldwolf]

12. Thanks to the two of you for pointing that out... I changed it ...

..to "an independant coffee house near bankruptcy."

[jonnyblitz]

21. LOL

feel free to PM all your fringe lefty satire to me for screening prior to posting! :hi:

[wyldwolf]

22. ok, thanks!

I left out one quote from the independent coffee shop's owner that I didn't feel was relevant to the story:

With a deep sigh, merchant George McGovern said, "how can I compete with Starbucks when my customers have no money?"

[jonnyblitz]

24. gasp.

thats bad.

[wyldwolf]

25. Isn't satire exaggerations based on sterotypes...?

...and only take seriously by the very sensitive?

I'm probably more broke than anyone on DU.

[jonnyblitz]

31. i wasnt serious

in that last post you just responded to. that is the problem with online communicating. I was smiling and chuckling when I posted the "gasp" ....

[wyldwolf]

38. oh, well, I'm turning red with emharassment now...

...just had to spell it out. :)

[KG]

13. NOW HEAR THIS:

CLARK SUPPORTERS URGED TO EXHIBIT TOTAL LACK OF SENSE OF HUMOR OR IRONY.

THEY SHOULD ALSO CONTINUE TO CONSIDER ANYTHING LESS THAN SYCOPHANTIC PRAISE FOR THE GENERAL ON DU TO BE ATTACK BY REPUBLICAN INFILTRATORS

ANY QUESTIONING OF THE POSITIONS OF THE GENERAL ON DU TO ARE TO BE CONSIDERED AN ATTACK BY FRINGE LEFTIST LEMMINGS.

ACTUALLY, EITHER CHARGE, OR BOTH, CAN BE USED IN RESPONSE TO UNCOMFORTABLE QUESTIONS ABOUT THE CLARK CANDIDACY.

REMEMBER: RABID ATTACKS OF THE QUESTIONERS MOTIVES IN LIEU OF ACTUAL ANSWERS ARE EXCELLENT WAYS TO GARNER FUTHER SUPPORT FOR THE GENERAL.

:eyes:

[wyldwolf]

20. NOW HEAR THIS:

ANY COUNTER-HUMOR AND IRONY BY CLARK SUPPORTERS IS TO BE MINIMALIZED BY OTHERS AS COUNTERPRODUCTIVE. FURTHER, NON-CLARK SUPPORTERS SHOULD DO THEIR DEMOCRATIC DUTY BY JOINING WITH THE RIGHT IN THEIR VEILED AND NONVEILED ATTACKS ON GENERAL CLARK.

[KG]

26. EXCELLENT EXAMPLE!

YOU CHOSE THE 'ACCUSE THEM OF BEING RW INFILTRATORS' TACTIC! GOOD WORK!

[wyldwolf]

29. THANK YOU! HERE IS A LIVE EXAMPLE FROM A FEW MINUTES AGO

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=104&topic_id=421909

[SaintLouisBlues]

15. Eatin' Shrub's lunch

That's Clark's menu! That's every thinking American's menu!

[Bread and Circus]

16. This is funny...

Thanks Jason....you have a sense of humor,
I gotta admit.

:toast:

[patdem]

17. Why so heavy on the pork?

:shrug:

[DemExpat]

32. lol...my first reaction, too.....

:shrug:

:D

DemEx

[Padraig18]

18. The Dean campaign reacted immediately...

... by pointing out that the General's diet was 'top-heavy' in saturated fats and carbohydrates. Dean, the former Vermont governor and a licensed physician stated, "General Clark's penchant for unhealthy food sets a bad example for all Americans, and I am deeply disappointed in his menu choices, although I still believe the General to be an honorable man and a fine American, in all other respects."

Dean declined to criticize the General's penchant for eating babies, pointing out that "Babies have lean cuts, just like any other meat, and no one has documented that he did NOT eat those cuts." :silly:

[zeemike]

19. Hmmmm

My original idea that Clark will be used by the Repugs as a wedge to divide Demos seems to be working.
Was it originally a Repug strategy to convince the DLC that they needed a General to win?
And surly Clark hade the supports of at least some of the DLC, He cold not have jumped in so suddenly if he did not have their support.
And should Clark win the Demo nomination they likely have a plan to turn off as many people as possible. They will make him look like a flip flopper, and secretly connected with the Clintons in some plot to take power.
But don’t be mad Cark supporters. They also have a plan for Dean and any of the others that could win. They could make you mad enough about the fact that a doctor. not a military man is nominated, that you will stay home in November, or vote for Bush or some Independent.

[wyldwolf]

23. Remember, despite the bravado of hard core Dean supporters...

Rove WANTS Dean. He THINKS he has Dean's number. He DOESN'T want Clark, hence the smears and, as you termed it, using Clark as a wedge to divide Demos. And, as your correctly observed - and if DU is any indication - seems to be working.

[zeemike]

27. Prove it

Show me where Rove wants Dean. Or did you just fall victim to someone’s talking point?
If you ask a republican who they want to run against what would they logically say? Would it be the one that you think or the one you do not think could win? A con man could figure out which one would most benefit him. And it would not be what he really believed but what he wanted you to believe.

[wyldwolf]

28. Ok, one more time...

Rove Spends the Fourth Rousing Support for Dean

As a dozen people marched toward Dana Place wearing Dean for President T-shirts and carrying Dean for America signs, Rove told a companion, " 'Heh, heh, heh. Yeah, that's the one we want,'

http://www.washingtonpost.com/ac2/wp-dyn?pagename=article&node=&contentId=A10541-2003Jul4¬Found=true

So, did you ignore this one the first 100 times it was posted or did you just "miss" it?

[zeemike]

35. I didn’t miss it

But what you missed is who told you that? The Washington Post?
And you I suppose could never believe that this was a plant story? They would never do that would they? Rove would never say such a thing with in earshot of someone that would report it right?
We have to stop being manipulated. And when charges like Rove wants Dean I want proof that it is really true before I will believe it.

[wyldwolf]

37. The Post was only one source that reported it...

..but what is wrong with the Washington Post?

Nothing.

Nice try, though.

[zeemike]

39. But

All of the reports came through the same ear and from the same mouth right?
If you standards of proof are that low you are able to fall for anything.

[Name removed]

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[Name removed]

33. Deleted message

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[Padraig18]

34. I have to agree with you, oddly enough!

I am getting soooo sick and tired of the thin skins of ALL the 'true believers' that I'm about to HURL! Most of those pussies wouldn't last 20 minutes in a Chicago primary! :puke:

[leetrisck]

36. Are you aware of what a "square meal" is

in certain military acadamies and training schools? Otherwise, your little commentary might have been amusing.