New(?) Freep email Hubby Recieved at Work-- LOL.

[elehhhhna]

WOULDN'T IT BE GREAT TO TURN ON THE TV AND HEAR ANY U.S. PRESIDENT, DEMOCRAT OR REPUBLICAN GIVE THE FOLLOWING SPEECH?

My Fellow Americans: As you all know, the defeat of Iraq regime has been completed.

Since congress does not want to spend any more money on this war, our mission in Iraq is complete.

This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American forces from Iraq. This action will be complete within 30 days. It is now to begin the reckoning.

Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of countries which have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict. This list is short. The United Kingdom, Spain, Bulgaria, Australia, and Poland are some of the countries listed there.

The other list contains everyone not on the first list. Most of the world's nations are on that list. My press secretary will be distributing copies of both lists later this evening.

Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those nations on List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely. The money saved during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the Iraqi war.

The American people are no longer going to pour money into third world Hell-holes and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption.

Need help with a famine? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France.

In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this money toward solving the vexing social problems we still have at home.
On that note, a word to terrorist organizations. Screw with us and we will hunt you down and eliminate you and all your friends from the face of the earth.

Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try France, or maybe China.

I am ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with France, Germany, and Russia. Thanks for all your help, comrades. We are retiring from NATO as well. Bon chance, mes amis.

I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many UN diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid parking tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded and crushed. I don't care about whatever treaty pertains to this. You creeps have tens of thousands of unpaid tickets. Pay those tickets tomorrow or watch your precious Benzes, Beamers and limos be turned over to some of the finest chop shops in the world. I love New York

A special note to our neighbors. Canada is on List 2. Since we are likely to be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to try not pissing us off for a change.

Mexico is also on List 2. President Fox and his entire corrupt government really need an attitude adjustment. I will have a couple extra tank and infantry divisions sitting around. Guess where I am going to put em? Yep, border security. So start doing something with your oil.

Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating the NAFTA treaty - starting now.

We are tired of the one-way highway. Immediately, we'll be drilling for oil in Alaska - which will take care of this country's oil needs for decades to come. If you're an environmentalist who opposes this decision, I refer you to List 2 above: pick a country and move there. They care.

It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own citizens. Some will accuse us of isolationism. I answer them by saying, "darn tootin."

Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around the world has only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on the planet.
It is time to eliminate hunger in America. It is time to eliminate homelessness in America. To the nations on List 1, a final thought. Thanks guys. We owe you and we won't forget.

To the nations on List 2, a final thought: You might want to learn to speak Arabic.

God bless America. Thank you and good night.

If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are reading it in English, thank a soldier.

(Please forward this to everyone in the USA!)

[ClassWarrior]

1. But don't go so far as to pay a teacher well or give a soldier benefits.

No, it's not new.

NGU.

[GreenPartyVoter]

6. So true

[Richardo]

2. The jokes on them. This has already happened.

Everybody enjoying being on list 2?

[Ilsa]

3. I got that email from a close friend.

I didn't want to start a fight with her, but I had to give a brief response, so I told her, "Too late. China now owns us, so I don't think we'll be able to cut ourselves off from the rest of the world."

I didn't want to bother mentioning that terrorism grows out of hopelessness, and that by helping other countries, we are pre-empting it. Too philosophical for a former military person as herself.

[Straight Shooter]

4. Oh, how silly. "Try France or maybe China."

How about all these big mouths not buying any more products made in China?

Whoops! There goes Wal-Mart :eyes:

[Coexist]

8. Ummm... they won't terrorize China

because they don't hate China for supporting Israel and propping up dictators in the middle east.

Also, unlike the US and former USSR, I don't believe that China has ever occupied the middle east to control their natural resources and built bases on what they consider Holy ground. Feel free to correct me if I am wrong.

Entire movements don't hate you because you're beautiful, no matter what the idiot son says. They hate you for specific reasons. Don't worry, China will have its time in the sun.

[mnmoderatedem]

23. no, that's correct

I've heard idiots on talk radio wondering why terrorits don't attack countries like China. You've stated why rather succinctly...

[elehhhhna]

25. How wold we know if they did? Not like they have the free press (ahem) we

have...

[crispini]

5. Oh, what BS. The amount of foreign aid we send abroad

wouldn't pay for ONE FUCKING DAY of the Iraq war. Honestly, if somebody sent me this I'd flame the crap out of them. We have this amazing misperception of the US as a biiiiiig generous country and the reality is that's complete BULLSHIT! :mad:

[BornLeft]

22. And Israel is the number 1 recipient

of foreign aid, I agree terminate their foreign aid as i am sure they were not "officialy" on the list.

[BiggJawn]

28. Which "list" is Israel on?

List 2, right?
:evilgrin:

[BornLeft]

34. I do not think they are on

list 1. That sure would piss off a lot of Arabs. But still why do we give over 2.5 billion every year to a nation that has WMD? Bizarro world for sure.

[SalmonChantedEvening]

7. Ugly Americanism in action.

Seems a bit dated, since Spain is still on the list.

But at least it didn't forget Poland :eyes:

[elehhhhna]

26. We can forget Poland! They're leaving/left.

[meganmonkey]

9. "money saved during the first year alone will ...

pretty much pay for the costs of the Iraqi war."

:rofl:

"we'll be drilling for oil in Alaska - which will take care of this country's oil needs for decades to come"

:rofl:

Oh god, it hurts. I wonder what great, reliable sources they're using?

[elehhhhna]

27. It's the math mystery puzzle game. Reeps invented it.

[Coexist]

10. In re: foreign aid- we are less generous than our neighbors...

http://www.globalissues.org/TradeRelated/Debt/USAid.asp#Agenda21RichNationsAgreedattheUnitedNationsto07%ofGNPToAid
<snip>
Agenda 21: Rich Nations Agreed at the United Nations to 0.7% of GNP To Aid

"Almost all rich nations fail this obligation
Even though these targets and agendas have been set, year after year almost all rich nations have constantly failed to reach their agreed obligations of the 0.7% target. Instead of 0.7%, the amount of aid has been around 0.2 to 0.4%, some $100 billion short.

In addition some interesting observations can be made. For example:

USA’s aid, in terms of percentage of their GNP has almost always been lower than any other industrialized nation in the world, though paradoxically in the last four years, their dollar amount has been the highest. (Only in 2004 did they move up from last place by one.)
Since 1992, Japan had been the largest donor of aid, in terms of raw dollars. That was until 2001 when the United States reclaimed that position, a year that also saw Japan’s amount of aid drop by nearly 4 billion dollars (as tables and charts below will also show)."

[northzax]

11. it all depends on how you count

in real terms, we give more money, in dollar spent, than any other nation (especially when you include military aid to Israel and Egypt, and now Iraq, that's two thirds of teh aid budget right there) but in terms of percentage of GDP we're stingy. It's like Bill Gates giving someone a million dollars, it's a lot of money, but not to him.

[Coexist]

13. but I don't know many who count guns and weapons systems

as humanitarian aid - which is what the letter in OP was referring to. Famines, floods and such.

[northzax]

16. well sure, but we need to count it

otherwise our numbers are even more pitiful. plus Israel and Egypt, as well as Iraq, were definately on list 2.

[Coexist]

17. if we're on list two - does that mean we can stay here

and THEY have to move to Poland?!

Woo hoo!

[punpirate]

14. And the calculation of that assistance...

... is suspect, since part of that money considered foreign aid is going to Iraq and Afghanistan for reconstruction. Other of it USAID money actually going to modernize air bases in the northern `stans. Some more of it is in arms, or in-kind military training.

A lot of it is defense-related.

Genuine foreign aid (food, useful infrastructure, medicine, etc.) is probably the smaller part of total foreign aid.

[Coexist]

12. Alaska will NOT meet our greedy needs!! Here is some info:

We are tired of the one-way highway. Immediately, we'll be drilling He/she said: "for oil in Alaska - which will take care of this country's oil needs for decades to come."

http://www.mindfully.org/Energy/Hot-Air-Over-Arctic.htm
<snip>
Even if Congress were to immediately approve oil production, no significant amounts of oil would be drawn from the Arctic Refuge until 2010. However, most of the difference is attributable to the fact that oil has proven to be more plentiful than WEFA had assumed in its 1990 study.

Regardless of the cause of the difference between the WEFA assumption and the current projections from the EIA, the implications are the same – the oil drilled out of the Refuge will have a far smaller impact on world prices than is implied by the assumption used by WEFA. According to the latest projections from the EIA, the oil production from the Wildlife Refuge is expected to peak between 1.0-1.35 MBD.<6> Taking the mid-point of this estimate, the peak production from the Arctic Refuge would be approximately 1.15 percent of world oil production.

[Coexist]

15. What good Liberals these people are!!!

"It is time to eliminate hunger in America. It is time to eliminate homelessness in America."

Wouldn't that mean social programs?? Egads - such talk from a conservative!

[NewJeffCT]

18. was the email from Pat Buchanan?

I think the amount of our foreign aid would pay for about a week in Iraq...

China has being going around the world & making nice with everybody, so I doubt they'll have to worry about external terrorists (internal separatists are another matter)

and, when drilling in Alaska will take of our oil needs for decades, to you mean decades of days or weeks?

Prior to the Iraq invasion, America was pretty well liked around the world.

[Village Idiot]

19. Canada is on "List 2?"

"A special note to our neighbors. Canada is on List 2. Since we are likely to be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to try not pissing us off for a change."

Note to the USA:

Perhaps if you will stop invading soveriegn nations, torturing and "extraordinarily rendering" innocents and destabilizing entire regions of the world long enough, we may have a chance to open a dialogue...otherwise, go fuck yourselves. If you don't stop this Canada bashing, we may just take our oil and gas, water, lumber, steel and minerals and sell it to countries that accept and appreciate our diversity....like CHINA.

[ikri]

20. Which list is Saudi Arabia on? n/t

[yorkiemommie1]

21. i know i'll get this sooner or later

should make up annotated version to send back.

[jackster]

24. this has been going around for a while....

I NEVER get rethug emails but I've gotten this one twice now.....

[yorkiemommie1]

35. i usually get them forwarded by my husband

grrrr....

we have dueling computers.

[SidDithers]

29. What about the Coalition of the Willing?

From wikipedia
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coalition_of_the_willing

Current Members
USA 130,000
United Kingdom 8,761
South Korea 3,600
Italy 3,085 -- began phased withdrawal of troops in March 2005 <2>
Poland 1,700 -- began to withdraw troops in October 2004
Ukraine 1,450 -- announced to withdraw troops by October 2005 <3>
Georgia 889
Romania 860
Australia 850
Netherlands 800 -- began phased withdrawal of troops in March 2005 <4>
Japan 550 -- limited to non-combat zones only
Denmark 496
Bulgaria 450 -- began phased withdrawal of troops in March 2005 <5>
El Salvador 380
Mongolia 180
Azerbaijan 151
Latvia 122
Lithuania 118
Slovakia 105
Czech Republic 80
Albania 71
Estonia 55
Macedonia 33
Kazakhstan 25

Members With No Military Involvement
Several countries chose not to send military or combat troops to support the invasion, but instead pledged their solidarity with the Coalition

Angola 0
Colombia 0
Eritrea 0
Ethiopia 0
Iceland 0
Kuwait 0
Micronesia 0
Rwanda 0
Solomon Islands 0
Uganda 0
Uzbekistan 0


Members Who Have Left
Nicaragua 0 -- withdrew 115 troops in February 2004
Dominican Republic 0 -- withdrew 302 troops in May 2004
Honduras 0 -- withdrew 370 troops in June 2004
Spain 0 -- withdrew 1400 troops in June 2004
Philippines 0 -- withdrew 51 troops in July 2004
Thailand 0 -- withdrew 443 troops in August 2004
Hungary 0 -- withdrew 300 troops in December 2004
Tonga 0 -- withdrew 40 troops in December 2004
Moldova 0 -- withdrew 12 troops in February 2005
Portugal 0 -- withdrew 128 policemen in February 2005
Singapore 0 -- withdrew its single amphibious transport dock deployed in the Persian Gulf in March 2005

Lots of countries on that list getting US aid. Do they get cut off to?

Morans.

Sid

[HughBeaumont]

30. What's with the Canada bashing?

UN hating, France bashing, illegal war support . . . Freepers are such DICKS. These people couldn't bake a logical thought with a Duncan Hines factory.

And the whole "getting rid of NAFTA" - that's not very freeperish to actually offer help to American WORKERS, is it? I mean, your Zero supports SHAFTA and job offshoring, as do many of the corporations that own your monkey ass. They also fully support the corporate culture that no longer includes employees.

[crispini]

31. LOL

"These people couldn't bake a logical thought with a Duncan Hines factory." :rofl: I am SO stealing that! :P

[DS1]

32. Abrogating NAFTA, but SIGNING CAFTA BABY YEAH!!!

Idiot fuckwit

[fudge stripe cookays]

33. Isolationist....

means removing one's country from all involvement with other countries...not dropping hundred megaton BOMBS on their ass!

:eyes:
FSC