I love David Podvin's use of the language

[donsu]

http://makethemaccountable.com/podvin/more/050801_Schadenfreude.htm


SCHADENFREUDE

With the political news being so relentlessly depressing, many liberals seek solace by watching beautiful sunsets or listening to great music or reading fine literature. I'm not quite so pretentious. I get off on seeing conservatives unhappy. No bleeding heart liberal here. I revel in their pain. The more misery they incur, the sunnier my disposition. Contemptible, isn't it? I almost feel guilty.

The reason I take such joy from right wing angst is that Republicans agonize over things that would never bother normal people. Conservatives are unmoved by pestilence and famine, but they were scandalized by Al Gore’s beard, the one he grew after Bush stole the election. Right wingers were simultaneously horrified and fascinated by the Gore facial growth. They struggled in vain to unearth the hidden message behind the whiskers. Had Gore somehow exceeded the maximum level of dementia? Did he think he was Santa Claus? If so, would he bring them that really cool new G.I. Joe with the torture implement accessories? What could the beard possibly mean?

It meant he didn’t shave. Good God, if brains were lard conservatives would lack the means to grease a skillet. How reassuring to know the country is being run by people whose collective intellectual wattage couldn’t illuminate the inside of a refrigerator.

You don’t become inconsolably distraught when someone says, “Happy Holidays” unless you are either a Bush voter or confined within a mental hospital, not that the two are in any way incompatible. Yet as viewed from the right wing perspective only “Merry Christmas” will suffice, effectively marginalizing anyone who fails to ride the Jesus train. Being inclusive plays upon the predisposition of fascists to feel persecuted, so whenever I have the misfortune of meeting a Republican I smile sweetly and say, “Happy Holidays!” even if it’s August.

I can’t help it. I hate them. Show me some conservative angst and I get more excited than Rick Santorum at a Cub Scout Jamboree.
-snip-
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and I love the way David tells the truth

[JuniorPlankton]

1. This is just perfect!

"the country is being run by people whose collective intellectual wattage couldn’t illuminate the inside of a refrigerator."

[Larkspur]

2. Love this part..

During the campaign, Bush was holding this incredibly massive shotgun for the purpose of slaughtering doves, which appropriately enough are the birds of peace. Parenthetically, the Cherokees say the bigger the gun, the smaller the penis.

:rofl:

Good ol' Cherokee wisdom!!