Coming news headlines ....

[whistle]

Headlines from the year 2029

Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia, formally known as California. White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third language.

Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States' crops and livestock.

Baby conceived naturally. Scientists stumped.

Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.

Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the American Territory of the Middle ! East (formerly known as Iran, Iraq, Syria, and Lebanon).

Iraq still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.

France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica.

Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.

George Z. Bush, the grandson of former President, George W. Bush whose 3rd parole request on his 99 year sentence got turned down last week by the Federal Review Board, says he will run for President in 2036. George Zell Bush will run on a platform of total amnesty for all political prisoners, including a special amnesty for just republican politicians who were convicted on criminal charges in 2007.

Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.

85-year, $175.8 billion study: Diet and Exercise are the keys to weight loss.

Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.

Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed, they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut. (hey! I just sent it. I didn't write it!)

Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.

Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.

Average height of NBA players now nine feet, seven inches. (Basket height has been raised to 8 meters)

New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters, and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2036.

Congress authorizes direct deposit of formerly illegal political contributions to campaign accounts.

Capitol Hill intern indicted for refusing to have sex with congressman.

IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.

Florida voters still having trouble with voting machines.

YO !!!!!!!!!

[babylonsister]

1. OMG!

:rofl:

[dweller]

2. last known authentic liter of gasoline sold to

unknown bidder at Sotheby's for 14.59 billion ...
dp

[pinto]

3. Locked

Hard to tell if this is sarcasm, or a joke, but some of the points are definitely not Democratic or progressive stands. Maybe a clearer repost in another forum?

Thanks for your understanding.