COLMES's Wife and Other sL-IMUS Trivia

[UTUSN]

Joining the other clowns in the circus today was one Ken AULETTA, pimping his 8,000 word article that breathlessly attributes the relative decline of "Today" to Katie COURIC's having passed through a couple of family deaths and starting to date. Well, excuse her for living. She should have just tossed herself on the pyre.

Along the way, we learned:

* that sL-IMUS, the most repulsive specimen around, saying his image of Diane SAWYER has been permanently marked by having seen her and Mike NICHOLS deep-tongue-ing outside the Plaza Hotel years ago;

* that both SAWYER and Monica CROWLEY worked for NIXON after he resigned. SAWYER was on the plane with him away from D.C. The sL-IMUS stooges wondered why all these blonde beauties were being hired by NIXON, but ruled out his deep-tongue-ing them;

* that COURIC was seen by stooge Bernard out on the town wearing low-rise pants flashing a silver thong;

* that Monica CROWLEY's sister is married to Alan COLMES.

But mostly it was a thorough trashing of how COURIC is losing ratings for having changed from being the girl next door or everybody's sister into -------what, a WOMAN?