Check out this memo passed around my office...

[devilgrrl]

Proactively communicate
Assist the organizations whenever possible
Solve the problem, don't pass the buck
Sort and prioritize issues/initiatives
Identify with the situation
Own the problem
Number 1 - be the best; set the standard


Okay... now, can anyone explain :wtf: that means? I almost flew through the ceiling when we were handed these. The only passion inspired by this pseudo-"successories" tripe was extreme anger. Anyone else out there get shit like that at work?

[Goldmund]

1. What's a "PAssist"?

:rofl:

[devilgrrl]

2. typo... stop laughing!

:spank:

[Goldmund]

9. Oh, I wasn't laughing at you!

I thought it was some kind of a corporate mating call or something. It made about as much sense as the rest of that pep talk. :D

[ThoughtCriminal]

3. Sounds like they used the Dilbert "Mission Statement Generator"

Try it out!:

http://www.dilbert.com/comics/dilbert/games/career/bin/ms.cgi

"It is our mission to quickly restore professional materials such that we may continue to enthusiastically network resource-leveling sources for 100% customer satisfaction "

[Vinnie From Indy]

4. Return Memo

Be sure that I will do my best.
Love to help!
Oh! I am really eager to assist
When do you need me?

My aim is to work hard!
Excellence isn't an accident!

[neverforget]

7. LOL

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[JFN1]

13. ROLFMAO!

Damn, thats funny! Thanks, I needed that!!

[dalaigh lllama]

16. OMG, too funny!

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[Warren DeMontague]

23. Beautiful.

:rofl:

[MichiganVote]

Run the play...my husband's boss favorite motivator

P.S., This is not the NFL

[SouthernDem2004]

5. Sounds like someone in your office just got back from a motivational

seminar. :)

[htuttle]

6. Sounds like Est

Also sounds like somebody either paid a consultant a lot of money, or they've gotten tangled up in the Landmark cult.

:shrug:

[beyurslf]

8. The steps are in the wrong order...

You can't Solve the problem before you Sort and prioritize. You should Identify the situation before either of those as well. Once you do these, you can Assist. Why you Proactively do anything before you complete the first steps is beyond me. One who truly seeks to assist those in charge does not Own the problem wholly. And a team player doesn't seek to be Number 1.

[devilgrrl]

10. The woman who came up with this is crazier than a shithouse bat

The WORST manager I've EVER had to deal with... oh but she's still here. :eyes:

[napi21]

11. We used to get that stuff all the time where I worked.

They even spent BIG BUCKS to hire some consultant to hold offsite seminars "on paid company time" to explain paradygm shift, and how to be the BEST employee.

For what it's worth, they're out of business today!

I wouldn't get too excited about the memo. I think all they're trying to tell people is to set priorities, and that's not a bad thing.

[merh]

12. Somebody attended a motivational seminar!

:rofl: My boss attended one years ago, he came back with posters he hung on the walls and little figurines with sayings on them like "think outside of the box" with a little guy balancing on a seesaw. I always moved the guy from his pre-ordained position and my boss would get so annoyed. He caught me doing it and asked me why, I told him that I was just thinking outside of the box. :shrug:

Those seminars serve the kool aide you know. :freak:
:crazy:

[devilgrrl]

15. Here's a poster I'd like to mount on her wall.

[devilgrrl]

17. Here's another one that belongs in her office

[Swamp Rat]

25. LOL!

[merh]

20. ROFLMAO

:rofl:

[SalmonChantedEvening]

14. The VP of Anagrams and Other Useless Sloganeering

Has to earn his keep somehow ;)

[elehhhhna]

18. There is no "I" in "team. But there is a "ME"!

[JFN1]

19. Its a sign of the times

And it reeks of desperation. Whether the MSM covers it or not, we Americans live in America, and experience America. This means that the ongoing and record-breaking corporate profits, the exportation of jobs, stagnant wages, corporate tax breaks, lack of job security, lack of benefits, and the general lack of corporate responsibility is beginning to be minimally felt in the workplace - probably only as a background noise, but its there. And the corporate bigwigs seek to head it off by reminding us that they are the masters, and we are the wage slaves, and our enthusiastic servitude is expected, and required.

With the press ignoring actual news, our own collective experience is beginning to pool. Corporate fuedalism will not be long tolerated in this country, methinks. We'll see...

[Vinnie From Indy]

21. Break fREEOF THE BONDAGE!

EOM

[anarchy1999]

22. I'd walk out and I'd also organize and have many others by my side.

Go for it.

This comes from personal experience that was effective and also having the benefit (not) of knowing someone very well who was at the top of "Human Resources" for Halliburton, world-wide.

[Warren DeMontague]

24. Just standard corporate nonsense. Do yourself a favor and ignore it.

Asking too many questions about this kind of gobbledygood will likely get you labeled a "troublemaker".

[mwb970]

26. Standard nonsense is right.

Companies appear to be filled with people who have nothing better to do than to come up with trite things like this. I say pitch it and move on.

[jmowreader]

27. Respond by passing THIS memo around the office

It has recently come to the attention of the management that associates are dying during their shifts but refusing to fall down when they do.

This causes customer annoyance because it is very hard to tell a dead associate from one who's just ignoring you.

Effective immediately, dying without falling down is grounds for immediate termination.